Aetherous

Nah, it is unbelievably normal. It's a common aspect of manipulators or emotional vampires (not to call your mom names), that they will seem totally cool while they energetically/verbally/emotionally assault you. Don't fall for it. This is not a reason to despise them, but it's just important to know the truth behind appearances. It's also good that you're looking at your cultivation long term, and in every moment. It's a learning process, and is hard work.

It was in my opinion only a facade of calm. A real calm person doesn't have the need to poke at other people, or bring them down in any way.

Family really knows how to push our buttons at times. But remember this, "Anything other than love is a cry for help". Not necessarily that you will be able to help your mom, or that she expects you to...but it's not like she's coming from a place of wisdom and love. So why give credence to her words? She's seeing her son change in ways that she doesn't understand, and is trying to keep him the same in any possible way. How you feel right now will pass. Later on, someone else will push your buttons. That's just life, and it's always best to let it go, as well as realize why it arose in the first place. The reason being...we expect others to treat us as being special in some way. Despite being cultivators, will we ever rid ourselves entirely of emotions and reactions? Forgive yourself for being human. If you're cultivating good things, then it's just a matter of continuing on your path and letting this go. As well as learning something from it.

This is true. I'd say...it's not about getting rid of our personality or destroying our self. Those methods won't work in the long run, and have unhealthy results. People have actually committed suicide because of believing in those paths. But it's about clear, experiential realization that the notions of self are separate from us. The notions are just seen as energy, one could say, rather than us being caught up in the story and dragged through the mud of negativity. You might want to study and practice Tibetan Buddhism, which has people who can describe it better than myself...but it's best to practice the methods and realize for yourself. The realization is not intellectual, but is an experience. Or continue doing what you do, if it continues to work.

If the student is somewhat "ready", then the way they find out whether the teacher is right for them or not, is by putting the teachings to the test. Following instructions and practicing. The way is not to receive teachings and then skip the practices, practice incorrectly, or otherwise not apply the teachings at all...and I doubt anyone could ever sensibly argue that it is. If a student isn't ready, they will dip their toes in the water instead of jumping in. Which is fine. Perhaps when they feel how good the water feels, they will eventually jump in and listen to their guide. Or maybe they jump in, and then rush back out of the pool to go back to normalcy. It's all good...the burden of a teaching happening is on the teacher, and not on the student. But the burden of applying the teaching is on the student alone. Anyway, moving on from "discipline" hopefully, which most people don't like to hear about. This is all just food for thought. And this thread is NOT about the subject of discipline.

It's all good. I actually meant for the thread to be a free for all, where people share what they think is most essential in getting ready to be a worthy student. I personally plan on bringing up other helpful things; not just discipline. I've had to be a few times, and wasn't too good at it. I do consider myself somewhat of a teacher, in the same way that friends can teach each other things by their actions (sometimes their mistakes), and by dropping little pearls of wisdom now and then...but definitely not formally set up as a teacher...nor do I want to be in this thread. I am truly just a student, and not a good one...so I have experience in the topic of being ready or not. Well, by teacher, I personally mean someone who is basically omniscient, omnipotent, and immortal, among other things...haha...but the thread can be referring to any kind of teacher. You are right...it's important for aspiring students to get a feel for the playing field...this can take years of trying different paths. Lots of money spent in the spiritual marketplace. But during those years they could be doing some solid cultivation at the same time! It's said that 95% of mastery is just doing the basics really well. The basics never end. So I just wanted to explore here: what are the basics? True. It's just my personal belief that the ability to follow through with what you decided upon is a key factor for being "ready". For the not-ready people, such as myself, it's something to work on and cultivate. Well, perhaps that's a transcendent way of understanding...it can be practical in terms of letting go, which brings real benefits...but it's not meant to be taken as, "forget about this stuff and just watch Housewives of Atlanta while sipping your peppermint mocha". Or is it? Well...my intent for this thread is, with the help of other forum members, to come up with solid ideas for real progress in beginners...or for advanced people, to reassess what they do. If they practice these things, then they will come into contact with teachers, and they will also do well. If there's no contact with teachers, at least their life will have become noticeably better, as a result of real progress.

I know what you're saying, but am going to disagree. Lets take old style martial arts training for example (only because it's an easy example in this case). Does the student want to get up at 4 am, when it's cold outside of the blanket, and when they're exhausted and could get some rest and be healthier...and go monotonously lift sandbags for an hour, or whatever grueling training it is? Are they getting out of bed with "joy and amusement"? NO. Perhaps what gets them out of bed is dedication to their path, because they ultimately love it more than anything else...but it's not like they want to train in that moment. Especially if they've been at the same practice for years...hopefully there is joy and amusement, but it's highly likely at times that a person will feel like doing something else instead. What keeps them going is their decision, which comes from love of the goal or the journey. Discipline is literally just doing what you have decided to do...that's all. It's not doing things because you enjoy them. This must be cultivated for success in anything. Choosing not to practice on a whim is not the way. You're right, it might indicate that your heart isn't fully into it...in which case, you're presented with a decision to make. Do you focus on your chosen path...or do you not want to attain the results, and instead to just do whatever? Discipline causes the aspiring student to clearly make that choice. And if they choose the path, it causes an increase in love for the path...instead of their love being scattered on many different things.

Some Tibetan monks chant like that sometimes. The deeper a person's voice goes, the more bass it has. Bass has more of a resonating quality than higher pitch notes...or it basically travels through materials better. Like when a person has a subwoofer in their car, you'll hear it from far away, even in your home. The sound actually penetrates through their car, through the walls of your house, etc. But you don't hear the song that's playing...they only hear that in their car. So low chanting sends whatever you're saying further, along with the intentions that you say it with, and shakes up things in its way. I'm not sure this is the reason Tibetan monks would give for doing it...but it is true. It does sound weird though...like a bunch of bullfrogs.

Keep it simple! Be on fire about the subject.

The faults we see in others are only due to obscurations in our own perception. They are usually issues that we need to deal with, more than things that the outside person needs to change. The outside person is just a mirror which allows us to see things we need to work on...what needs working on are various beliefs that can mess with our true desires in life, as well as emotions that get stirred up which are unnecessary. All that drama. If you don't believe anything about the behavior of your friend (such as that she is being falsely positive about her fat), and if you aren't disgusted for instance when touching her fat (which is a feeling that I'm sure you don't want), then your relationship with her is more clear and open. As for now, these things close you off from her. It will be better for the both of you if you do the inner work, rather than attempting to fix her. Then she won't feel the need for padding around you, and your confrontations of her decisions and soul. You will be a better friend, by treating her with more respect for who she is. Everyone determines their own fate...we can't intercede without being asked to. Especially when we're asked not to...that's time to let it go. We can try to intercede, but I'm pretty sure it won't work and might actually make the person worse, when it's this type of situation. But I think, by working on what we see in "the mirror", we can elicit miraculous (indirect) changes in the outer world. The microcosm affecting the macrocosm. Just some ideas. Problems with friends and family usually signify the need to contemplate deeply what our problem is.

What is xuanmen?

I would not consider you a loser, and am very surprised that you called yourself that. There's no need to give you a pep talk or try to say that negative self-talk is negative...but think about this: she agreed to date you in the first place, right? By your own logic, if women only look for winners, then she looked at you and saw that. It's just the nature of (many) women, especially younger ones, to break hearts. It's not a reflection on you whatsoever. Our male minds think: "what did I do wrong? Maybe if I was more fit, more tan, more shiny toothed, more rich, more funny, etc...". But try any of those things, and you'll still wind up with a broken heart. So, it's not what you do or who you are that causes rejections to happen. They just do, and that's life. It's amazing when they don't, such as in this thread. The world needs more of this.

Same here. I am inspired to cultivate acceptance of others!

I used to be an Athletic Trainer and medic in the Army, so was trained to a Bachelor's degree level in general Western medicine...and now am attending a "Classical Chinese Medicine" school. I have to say: your surgeon friend is mostly right. Western medicine is amazing, and to become an MD is a really laudable thing. The basis upon which good Western medicine is based, which is peer reviewed study, is very solid. One of the greatest things I learned in my education was the importance of these studies and how to research and read them for myself. The alternative medicine studies can be good depending on the journal, but from what I've seen, are often not at all comparable to Western medical ones...to the point of even being laughable at times. It's not that all alternative medicine just needs to be thrown out...it's not that going to see Western doctors will get you 100% cure rates and be the safest thing...there is definitely a place for both medicines, and each has its down sides. Especially with surgery, Western medicine is the only thing that will be an option for you if you require it. In all types of medicine, but especially alternative types, the effectiveness depends upon the practitioner (this is a downside to it). For instance in Chinese Medicine, there are so many differing schools of thought on how to use herbs...or even how to use acupuncture. Chinese medicine has changed so much over the years, that it's really more of an art and less of a science. Today it's practiced entirely different than it was back in the Han dynasty when the classics came out (for instance, who does the carotid radial pulse comparison from the Ling Shu? Basically no one...not even "Classical" Chinese Medicine schools). So you have to look at: what works for the patient? Then using the most effective means is how to make it more scientific, and less artsy. Artsy meaning, just on the whim of the individual practitioner. The proof is in the pudding! All practitioners should strive to actually help their patients, rather than simply learn and practice their style of medicine (this involves alternative practitioners being up to date on what actually works as shown in studies, for instance in terms of lifestyle like exercise and dietary advice). If naturopathy never works (which I doubt is true), then it should be thrown out. If it sometimes works, then it should be analyzed further and used alongside Western medicine with the understanding that it's not always effective (so as a complementary medicine rather than alternative)...practitioners need to find out what is effective and why it is, versus what isn't, and why. If it works most of the time, like Western medicine, then it can be considered an equal alternative. The fact of the matter is: a responsible alternative medicine practitioner refers to a Western Medicine doctor when the patient isn't doing well with their treatment...what does that say about the equality and safety of these types of medicine? It says that Western medicine is reliable and in terms of preserving the life of the patient, when its hanging on by a thread, is generally preferable! This is important to realize. Too many people pick a side and camp out there, fighting against the other. But what's most important in medicine is: is the patient getting healthier? You could have a shamanistic healer, where it's absolutely unscientific and not repeatable by others...and if they're getting results...good! Healing the patient is the only thing that matters. Part of healing the patient is having repeatable results, though. This is the downside to the artsy style, intuitive practice, or shamanistic healing, which depends entirely on the unrepeatable skill of the individual practitioner. No one else can do what they do...so it's only worthwhile for people who are able to see that one practitioner, but is not worthwhile as a form of medicine for all people and all times. This being said, there is a science to Chinese medicine and naturopathy. It's just not the same paradigm as Western medicine. I wouldn't go so far to say that Western medicine is based in what's observable and others are based in the intangible...because diagnosis in Chinese medicine for instance, is almost entirely observation of signs and symptoms. I wouldn't say that it goes further into depth regarding the differences in signs and symptoms than Western medicine does...its implications just mean entirely different things. The types of medicine are like entirely separate universes. I know without a doubt that alternative medicine practitioners are not trained to the same level as MDs, in Western medicine classes. And even if they have some Western medical classes...because it's not necessary for the day to day practice of their profession, it becomes forgettable. It's not the basis upon which they work. Even Western medicine requires continual review in order to keep it in the mind...this is why there's continuing education for nearly all health care professionals. Alternative medicine continuing education does not emphasize Western classes...so they are really just hoops to jump through at the beginning of the education, rather than actual training that's relied upon, for alternative practitioners. So anyway...my main point is that just like Western medicine doctors will have patients that make no sense to their paradigm and are nearly impossible to treat, alternative medicine practitioners absolutely experience the same thing! Alternative practitioners do not have the same level of diagnosis in terms of Western medicine illnesses (and so they can miss very important diseases or conditions and potentially risk lives, or just not be able to treat the patient effectively)...and Western doctors do not have the same level of diagnosis in terms of different paradigms, such as Chinese Medicine theory (so it could be said that they aren't as good at treating holistically, or treating things which Western medicine doesn't understand yet, or challenging cases). As someone who has practiced a form of Western medicine which is similar to physical therapy for a few years, on quite a few different patients in the real world, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that our differential diagnosis considered lots of things that alternative practitioners are entirely clueless about...and actually didn't scratch the surface in terms of actual problems that patients can present with. I was only about 75% effective in actually fixing people...some things just did not make sense. Having seen a little bit of the education of more advanced emergency medical technicians, as well as doctors and physician assistants, I know that they have a vast knowledge of things medical which I'm clueless about. I know that my alternative medicine education is very inadequate in this regard, and is something I personally need to continually re-educate myself on. A health care professional who is ignorant of what's wrong with the patient will only be able to treat with negligence! ... Oh also, this is interesting: the Cleveland Clinic (a major healthcare center in the US) recently opened up a Chinese Herbal Clinic to be used as complementary medicine. It's great to see this kind of working in tandem! Here's an informational sheet from them about it, as well.

Yeah that's basically why I posted the video. It works...things happen and there are synchronicities...but here's the clincher: can you actually attract 1 million dollars with it? Magick that works but doesn't do what it's supposed to is just like the lazy genie.

I say this as a non-Freemason...the best way to ever really know is to actually contact the lodge near you and ask about maybe joining. You should do it for the right reasons...they say that they make good men better through a moral system that's presented in symbols. The purpose of morality is to lead a better life. So if that's the main thing you aspire to, then it'd be good to get in touch with them directly. They don't invite...you have to ask to join, or "petition" in. As for success...if you want something enough, you'll do what it takes to get it. If you don't want it enough, you won't do what it takes...simple as that. If you want two conflicting things, for instance lets say free time to lounge around, and financial success, you'll have to make a clear choice which one you want more. Then put all your effort toward doing what it takes, realistically, to make things happen in a direct way. That's how people actually achieve success. Not by joining a brotherhood...as you can see with who is actually wealthy these days and who isn't (mostly non-members; just normal people). "Luck is where preparation meets opportunity." - Seneca. Be prepared by working hard and smart, and with persistence...doing everything you can on your end...and then you can actually be "lucky" and successful when the right time comes.

LOA:

You had me at "disaster after disaster". I would look forward to learning more of both your story, and your views on practices, in an interview! (It should go without saying that I found your website very helpful back in the day)

Interesting thought, Nungali!

http://www.wakingtimes.com/2014/12/16/hidden-history-chinas-secret-societies/

This is an interesting book so far, which is basically some thoughts from a Greek Orthodox monk/abbot relayed through an interviewer.

This seems to me to be the cause...the winter blues/cabin fever. Stagnation and being boxed in, and lack of yang (sunlight and movement). If you make sure to exercise moderately, if you don't already, it should help. If there are any chances to expose yourself to the morning sunlight, such as through a window, it will help. If you do practices that release the mind (meditation), it will help your energy expand beyond the walls of your house/mind, so you'll end up feeling more natural and free flowing. It's not necessary to physically go outside, in order to "get out" (although it does help). It's possible to "get out" internally. If you focus on details in your immediate surroundings, as a form of meditation, it can help to bring clarity to your consciousness. Being aware of the mundane world is pretty powerful for having a clear mind...whereas not being mindful is dullness - the opposite of clarity. I did that meditation when in places I would really not have rather been...and it helped me forget that it was a place I was in and that the place sucked. All there was, was the object of meditation, which was neutral. By focusing on it, I let the ideas of myself go, the ideas of the place go, let the mind go, etc. Then you end up feeling better and are able to flow better with life. And finally: "When you clean your environment, you are cleaning your heart." - forum member, Eternal Student Living in a clean space can bring serenity.

Interesting ideas, Nikolai. There are various types of non-physical light/Light that can be perceived. One way is to look at a 45 degree angle downward, with the sight not focused on anything in particular, and relax fully. The eyes can be open, partially shut, or closed. If you get in the right state of being (the key to it working), you'll see other types of light besides the sky sperm...a common experience is gold and purple overtaking the field of vision.

Mastering Type (typography book) Left of Bang (military book about how to detect threats before they happen) Chinese Nutrition Therapy (TCM style diet...haven't been experiencing the best results with it) ...and just ordered these: Lord Liu Chun's Secrets of Longevity (Chinese healing based on an individual's experiments on inmates) Secret of the Shining Toad (about Daoist practices)

Yes, that's the only way I've heard of "triads" until stumbling upon this article today...as something similar to gangs or to the mob.