middle_path

I can post some pictures later, but here's a video of my garden. It's a walkthrough, no editing.

At the risk of pouring my heart out, I started to really get curious about spirituality, magic, occult, energy, etc. toward the end of 2016. Since then I've polished off a few books, jumped in to a few systems, and generally tried to educate myself on this vast vast world. Turns out, a lot of it seems like BS, but a lot of it rings pretty true for me. I've had a few encounters in my life that have kept me from being a staunch materialist (typical ghost stuff), but for some reason when it comes to astral projection, energy work, magic, etc. I just don't "feel" it. Even after months of consistent practice. Or if I do, it's extremely subtle and feels fake/placebo. As of right now, I have a very busy life. Work, commute, and family make it difficult to even sit down for more than 5 minutes without just wanting to sleep instead. I'm not looking for encouragement. That's great and all. But I would like to know some good "foot-in-the-door" practices that would help someone like me feel more energy. Something that's just a few minutes a day and could lead to bigger things. If it can be avoided, no giant books or anything. I'm suffering from information overload big time and it never seems to help.

In time, I feel I can definitely add more time to it. I'm just now entering the busy season with work and my wife and I are expecting our second child toward the fall, so I'm anticipating a large lack of time for practice. For some reason, I can't shake the desire. Probably from my previous ghost encounters as a child. I think my issue is that after months of following a magic system and feeling zero benefits/results and dedicating half an hour+ daily - one begins to lose interest. At least if it were a guitar I would feel actual improvement. I love my family and gardening. If I could just spend time with them outdoors for the rest of my life I would be satisfied. But, again, it nags at me. Whatever I'm looking for. I just want to find a spot to dig one deep hole, instead of dozens of shallow ones.

These have all been some great suggestions. And I thank you all. I will say that the idea of just following my breath and "being" is extremely attractive given my weekday life. Unfortunately I always get bored when I do this (a common block). I'm so damn interested in the other world, piercing the veil and all that and I feel that desire really takes away from what I need.

I'm growing a lot of stuff. Like, I don't even feel like listing it all. As far as annual edibles, you name it and I'm growing it. Trying to move completely towards a Masanobu Fukuoka style garden, getting there slowly. I'll upload pics as I get some good ones.

Hey bums! Glad to be here, everyone seems so kind and loving. I really appreciate that. So for a long time now I have suffered from depression. It also took me a while to realize that's what the issue was. I have made strides to change my diet, exercise more, meditate, and do everything I can to keep my emotions from controlling me. I have recently (over a week ago) switched to the keto diet. I have done low-carb before, but this is a whole different ride. I like the diet, but for a few days now I have been sick. Head cold, stuffy nose. I have also had at minimum the sniffles for most of 2017. It's been very frustrating and it prevents me from exercising. I know energy is lost during masturbation and I have tried to lessen my addiction. I maybe do it a few times a week instead of daily. Ideally I would like to have more sex, but my wife has really been uninterested for a while. She tries, but for some reason she is just not turned on....ever. It's an issue we have talked about and are working through. Anyway, I don't know what to do. I want to feel good and vibrant. I'm approaching 30 and I really don't feel old yet, but I have felt quite depleted for most of my adult life. Any suggestions would help. Much love, middle.

I have to say I am amazed by this place. Everyone here truly is a community and wisdom abounds like fruit on a tree in late spring. I have learned much and have much more to learn. What about you? What have the users of this forum taught you?

May I please have a personal practice area?

I signed up here mid last year, but only very recently became interested in the internal arts. I would like to start a personal journal here on the site, but can't really see who to ask to get one. So, where do I go from here?

I think we're getting a little off topic here.

When I was young, I would watch a lot of TV. Too much. I knew from the time I got home until bed what shows were on, and what channel to turn to. A lot of it was Simpsons reruns. On the bus ride home, or in school, I would get glimpses of episodes. And that same one would be on that night. This wasn't a once or twice deal, this was multiple times a week.

Thank you, AussieTrees. Is there a .mobi version of this document? I think it would be easier for me to read this on my kindle. Otherwise, I may just print it out.

Thanks again for the replies. Is there a beginner course online for qigong? I just want to try it out. I know there is a aikido class in my area, but I'm not sure it will work with my schedule.

Thanks to both of you. I have been making changes over the years, this past year I have really shaken things up. I'm a new father and that has really set a fire under my ass to do better. I will admit I often spend more time screwing around on my phone than I should.

I'm so thankful that this community exists, and that it's active! Within the past year I have gotten more and more interested in occult studies. It has always been a fascination of mine, but discovering MindandMagick's youtube channel really brought it out of me. He is a practicing magician and though I am not, I love hermetic philosophy. I've always been a lover of Buddhism and Taoism. I've gotten into the Kybalion, Franz Bardon, Joseph Campbell, the Law of one, and numerous things here and there. I meditate daily. I would really like to begin some energy work, but have no clue where to begin, or what I'm looking for. I do have an issue with masturbation and I hear that it drains a lot of energy. I have been trying to stop, and I can always manage a few days, but once I'm alone it just happens. So I know very little of qigong or thai chi. I don't know of any groups in the area, but I could look. But I feel most of my journey (at the beginning) will be solo. Thank you.