Hi guys,
first post and I could really use some help if possible?
I'm very concerned. I'm a regular guy who has always suffered some form of anxiety and for the last 15 years have been on anti anxiety meds. I was put on anafranil (chlomipromine) and diazepam when I finished university and had a bad break up.
Im a happily married man with a lovely wife and 2 kids and live in London, UK.
over the last 2 years I have slowly been coming off my anti anxiety meds and am now nearly off them. I was looking for new ways to find calm and a peaceful mind so I thought that yoga/ meditation may be the best way of taking the next step.
A mystic called Sadhguru visited London and I attended the 2 day course where he taught us the 'shambhavi mahamudra'.
one of the steps or asanas was 'the fluttering of the breath and holding a mild focus on the forehead.
We were asked to practise this twice a day for the first 40days and once a day after.
For the record and I must make this clear, there is nothing working with what he is teaching, it's just me that is the problem, not the yoga or the asanas or steps. On top of that there are also classes that one can attend to make sure the practises are being done correctly.
I was very sceptical (as a newbie) and thought that 'I don't know want to go in too deep' as I am totally newbie and have never done any form of yoga, meditation or even mindfulness before. I just wanted to find some inner peace- that's all.
I have practised the 'shambhavi mahamudra' about 20-25 times since April.
I started meditating again a few weeks back (I have been doing it on and off) and completed the meditation 7 days on the trot . I did feel very peaceful and focussed to be fair, but then I suddenly started to experience a lot of head pressure on the top of my head and in the forehead also for a couple of weeks. The pain was persistent and never subsided.
This has only just passed but I am now left feeling very spaced out, delicate, vulnerable, in the moment also, hearing sounds I never used to notice.
I don't feel able to Concentrate on tasks and my memory is also pretty poor all of a sudden.
I have ceased all forms of meditation and yoga and am now petrified of going any further and am so sort of stuck in the middle not knowing what to do.
I spoke with the yoga teachers at 'isha yoga' and they thought my symptoms were unusual and asked me to attend the next 'satsang' so I can learn the techniques properly but to be completely honest I don't want to go any deeper and just want things to return to Normal like they were before I started doing meditation and yoga. Is this possible?
Its very scary.
I have searched the internet and have tried walks in nature, running on the treadmill, eating heavy food, socialising and walking on grass barefoot, burning sage, keeping busy etc
I have been reassured that things will return to Normal but I can't seem to see that.
I don't feel like myself at all.
any help will be really appreciated.
I am just a regular person who has a family and a business to run and am feeling very disconnected, Lonely and have lost all concentration, and confidence.
i don't want to keep turning to alcohol and diazepam.
blessings and thanks so much in advance.
