Tryingtodobetter

I will try one of these tomorrow

This didnt happen in meditation. Did you read my initial post in full? I'm wondering if you read it because you're talking about meditation and this didnt start happening in meditation, I provided decent context and none of it included meditation

This morning I feel them mostly in my feet. I also feel them occasionally in a sacr on my arm where a doctor/nurse put in a "medical honey" is what she referred to it as. She talked about transcendence and I asked her what her tattoo meant in her finger and she said "it means transcendence" and I responded that it was a fire sign, because it was the triangular alchemical symbol for fire What do I do to stop the sensations i mentioned in my original post and this comment? I am wondering why I am experiencing them and what the significance of the owls were. The sensations have been annoying me this morning. When i was initially going to read this post and clicked back I felt pulses in my left foot and even as I was typing this I keep feeling pulses in my right leg

I think you're viewing the past and present with a kinda myopic scope- maybe the lenses of youth and the popular culture of that time distorted your view of just how good And bad things were in the past compared to the present I think humanity has dealt with relatively the same set of problems in cycles, yknow that quote from the bible that says something to the effect of "there's nothing new under the sun", and life and death itself It wasnt my view that things are getting better, just that it's not as polarized as you're making it out to be, in my opinion. I was saying that humanity itself is still relatively unchanged, just the control or indoctrination or influence of modern society is different and more all-encompassing I had a thought today. I noticed that a number of friendships I've had in the past have ended on an "apocalyptic" note. Friends who were so convinced that we were in the end times and/or that there was some great event of upheaval afoot. I simply disagreed with them in light terms and it made them froth at the mouth kinda. I wasnt even negating the existence of the "negative/unfavorable" parts of modern life that they were talking about, I just said how things weren't so polarized and that it wasnt the end of the world. In every instance there was no grand finale, they simply held to their belief and stopped contacting me- only for me to see them years/months later and none of their "truth" or "prophecy" had come to pass My take is kinda airy and lacking polarity. I think things are mostly Okay People tend to view the world surrounding them as they view themselves, not literally all of the time- though I've noticed when someone is "going through it" they tend to lash out at others/the world at large more than usual Idk about optimism or blind optimism. I struggle with accepting and/or understanding certain people, places, things and phenomena, same as most people- I just make sure to do the things that bring me joy and I avoid tv/news stories/negativity

I've thought about suicide time and time again, occasionally throughout the years and as of late I really see no point in continuing being present on this plane. I had an experience today where I really questioned my existence again, in depth. My life has no value, no meaning, no purpose. I have no substantial savings, no transportation, no relationship, no true social circle, no home of my own, no semblance of true community- really nothing of worth using a societal metric or even using a "spiritual" one. I simply have no worth or purpose. I am very tired. I had things I would've liked to accomplish, though now it's as if the larger part of those desires have been whittled down by time and things unseen, inwardly and outwardly. I have lived far too long. This world holds nothing for me and the inverse is probably true as well. I want to commit suicide and I would like to know the actual repercussions. I dont want to be told to "hang in there". My life is over. I just want to know where my destination is once I release myself from my mortal shell. I figured this forum would be one of the spaces visited by someone with a genuine answer to this question.

I think that's a fairly presential view of america, things have never really been Good wholesale. I'm pretty sure the entire trajectory of america and other societies in the west have been engineered and balanced, in an almost scientific way. Your response is almost dissonant in a way, because you close with an observation about how relatively integral facets of this society are manufactured/illusory In regards to the post you were replying to, I dont think humanity has grown too large or that overpopulation is anything more than illusion. I think it's just artificial systems of orchestrated conflict and scarcity Idk, I feel like both responses fail to acknowledge the general goodness of human nature and how what's often being presented in polarized portrayals in the media is a result of heavy conditioning

I think a written text possesses an energy and its words coursing an intention You were being condescending addressing a sensitive topic, in my opinion, that is dated by three months. Your use of punctuation was just an accent, not a standalone signifier I think the hue of your initial and latest responses have a humor about them when contrasted with the personality of conflict that I addressed within my reply

I made this post 3 months ago, I'm in a different place now mentally, emotionally and spiritually. The feelings and phenomena I was experiencing was largely the result of allowing someone who was very material oriented to get close to me internally/physically. They made it known constantly how "I contributed nothing to the world, my family and friends, and the collective at large", amongst numerous other shallow personal metrics/stigmas. They saw no value in me beyond sensory and financial(social/material) utility, though they would occasionally verbally state the opposite in an attempt to "reassure" me of how much they valued me. People only use ellipses for two reasons- to condescend or to evade.

Is it possible to combine different methods of energetic cultivation into a workable form? As of late I've been looking into kriya yoga and qigong in general. I am interested in the mind purifying facets of kriya yoga and the energetic control of qigong. Can one practice both daily without any detrimental effect? I want to combine a mind purifying practice with qigong because recently I saw an interview with the founder of spring forest qigong and he did the cough at a point when asked a question. That cough people do when they are disturbed by what someone is saying on a deep level, whether it be triggering an old negative experience or them projecting negativity outward and it bouncing back to them, etc. I did not expect to see this behavior in a master of qigong. I do not wish to pursue qigong exclusively if such mental dross is still present at such a high level of attainment. Also, an issue I'm currently facing with kriya yoga is that one must be "initiated" in order to practice within an official organization- I think it's something like being sworn in or adopting a lineage, and I am unsure of the spiritual ramifications of that so I am wary of it. Of course I would like to practice the true kriya yoga, though I fear it has been lost to time. Last thing, I was considering adding a weekly sensory deprivation chamber visit to my practice based upon what I've read about it so far. Does anyone here have any experience with them? Thank you for reading all of this I know a number of people read posts like this and dont have much to offer by means of advice or personal experience and that's okay- hope you are enjoying your day so far regardless

No, that is not what I said or implied Sorry if I offended you Hope you enjoy the rest of your day

That's believable. It's not that I dont believe they exist altogether, I just think it's fairly uncommon. Spotless is cool, I know he isn't a teacher though- so whoever that guy is, merit

I wasnt talking about him healing ghosts, I knew about that. I was referring to an excerpt I read where he speaks of having to constantly cleanse the areas he was occupying/residing in and himself of low level spirits, that he deemed to be nuisances. It's probably still available somewhere on popular search engines Drosses as in, for example- the harmony that an accountant reaches on an extended vacation from work where their negative behaviors/thought-loops begin to loosen, only to begin returning once they are back in the office and reimmersed. Or the place inner/outer that a meditator reaches on a two week retreat on an island, versus the quality of that inner space once they've returned to their lifestyles. Sorry if I was too vague I dont know why you feel as though I'm attacking your credentials/experience or that of the spring forest qigong organization as a whole. As I stated previously, I dont think what I saw had to do with a fault in his practice

I dont believe that the greatest teachers live in major american cities, maybe some of the greatest modern teachers as far as teaching is concerned and disregarding their overall purity "Some aren't even known outside of the rural area." That was part of my point

I can see why that would be funny to someone I just dont think it's worth the effort of decades of practice of one can be so perturbed by a casual happening. It wasnt the cough of a common cold or similar. I have an idea as to why that might've been. He has talked of spending a lot of time in seclusion and even a period in a cave, a period he alludes to being his peak. I think that his reintegration into society at large lead him to regathering the drosses of particular social quirks and neuroses. He also spoke of him needing to constantly exorcise spirits from his aura/being when he began living in society again, as he was constantly beset by unfavorable energies/entities. Similar happens to even those who do not cultivate or practice anything involving the purification of their energies/minds. I dont think it's something that can be avoided by a cultivator residing in the western sphere, or anywhere really seeing as how the entire world is being slowly westernized, for lack of a better term. The only true option seems to be relatively remote isolation for that sort of thing, and I dont care that much to pursue that path in this moment Thank you, Ocean Form

Yes, though probably not to the greater or lesser extents intended by those who shared their thoughts/advices The main takeaway was guilt. Reading personal stories from people on this site as well as those from day to day life and my own personal 1st/2nd hand experiences. I felt a guilt that I was depriving those connected with my experience of something I couldnt quite quantify, and I also felt a guilt from not achieving my primary goal which was to contribute something positive and/or constructive to the greater collective- which is kind of a funny goal when you dig deep enough into the sentiment Ultimately it took action from me on the mental/physical plane to begin to create a decisive shift. I have no doubts that rereading posts from this thread and other more constructive material, making steady changes to my overall mental diet, contributed to helping turn the tide. I had to take Action I dont think I'm out of the woods quite yet as far as revamping my life, because im still encountering echoes of that dark period in day to day interactions due to my increasing energy level/'expanding' awareness now that I've began to practice once more It is somewhat difficult to relive that period now that the post has been bumped and I've read through it again, being in a better place though carrying subtle hues of the former- life is like that I think. I hope that this thread can serve someone else in a therapeutic way

When one is practicing celibacy, what is the best exercise to perform daily to ensure the complete sublimation of fluids? I practice a version of celibacy known as brahmacharya. It is celibacy of the body, as well as the mind. I have concerns about improper sublimation causing energetic imbalances/problems. I intend to commit to this practice for a more extensive period than years prior. I have heard pranayama and the microcosmic orbit being recommended to practitioners of this path. I personally have used deep breathing primarily in the past, though I would like my efforts to be entirely sound this outing. Thank you

I've already begun creating my new life. I appreciate your input, though it is belated

I'm sure that's true to an extent, though this latest episode was simply me ignoring my intuition and what the world was telling me to the point of paralysis/self-destruction. There was little to no working through accumulated neuroses or ingrained behaviors, rather I was wilfully reconstructing and creating new ones of the same hue that I had for the most part transcended/made peace with. I am creating a new life Thank you

Thank you I have since returned to my former practice/lifestyle and separated myself from negative(damaging) influences

I do not plan on going the traditional route. I plan to make my living in relative isolation/obscurity and to move to a more rural setting when that is feasible. I am for the most part satisfied with the progress I am able to make in my current environment. Compassion and love are good things, though neither requires romantic involvement as a prerequisite. I have found that my heart tends to close, and my creativity atrophy to an extent, when in an intimate relationship- probably something to do with making compromises and being dishonest with myself in order to maintain a close/romantic relationship with someone who does not believe in and/or does not follow the same principles I do. Years ago I found the saying of a particular saint, his name escapes me in this moment, to be true. He said that there was no love greater than chaste love, and my experience thus far has proved that to be true beyond any doubt

There is power in celibacy itself. There are readily observable changes when one refuses to spill their seed and adheres to uprightness. When I say celibacy, i dont mean simply abstaining from sexual relations/actions. I mean abstaining in speech/deed and thought. I do not see it as a standalone, rather something that serves as a pillar of my practice, or the amalgam I refer to as my practice. I also adhere, as best I can, to the eight precepts/10 commandments- when I start delving into many of the laws of maat unconsciously I know I'm doing well. Also, additional things like being mindful of my mental diet, trying to keep good company and abstaining from certain energetic locales as best I can. The above is what comprises my concept of celibacy, what is normal for me. I read of saints and their miracles/practices for years while beginning the path I'm on. I see people promoting false ideas and personal narratives, though I just try to ignore those.

Thank you for the recommendation. I found some insightful posts there years ago, though now there are too many posts from beginners looking for encouragement/enablement and skeptics.

I dont think most nuns have any concept of circulating stagnant energy or knowledge of meridians/blockages etc- I dont think most nuns are at all learned in intermediate/advanced energy cultivation, so I think that's an unfair statement I don't know how celibacy works for women. I've heard some say it's just different from that of men, and some that said it wasn't real altogether(wouldn't yield the same "results" as it would for a man), idk. I think it's similar, maybe something to do with stopping the period

I dont really see how a lot of what you've stated in this post is true. I've heard of how erroneous some of mantak chias methods are regarding celibacy, though to cast the entire practice under such a dark lens is unfair. There are plenty accounts of yogis/saints/monks etc who promote celibacy and tell of its actual power, not just placebo effects and destroying ones kidneys. Brahmacharya for instance. It is an established system, of which I've heard little to nothing about in the ways of harm coming to a practitioners body/mind from following the methods. I see where you're coming from, atleast partly I think I find it odd and disheartening how so many spiritual figures of old have been fairly explicit about the/certain protocols one needs to follow to advance, and now so many teachers are adding their own twist and/or becoming more lenient-"open" in an attempt to make things "fun"

I think that a hue of this is due in part to the pervasive, and largely manufactured?, systems of culture/politics/religion/etc in the western(ized) world which contribute much to the stagnancy of many and sort of keep a lot of people deeply entrenched in readily observable archetypes/stereotypes. I think the internet has birthed a new kind of homogeneity in that respect, kind of a global culture I like what silent thunder said about genetics. I think the bible said something about offspring inheriting the sins of the father, and I think many forget how often character traits and traumas are passed down generationally. I think it takes an uncommon effort to break the mold in a genuine sense- nullifying the effects of environment/ones past-genetics to an extent, idk I think a lot of it has to do with there only being so much here, and how many make snap judgements based almost entirely upon aesthetics/first impressions and not the unique color of the person's core. What everything said about everything being within you, I like that too- eye of the beholder yknow. When I feel like I've known someone before, or know them, it's mostly an energetic thing- to follow your sci-fi theme, like encountering avatars of flowing script/data-information a la the matrix