Still_Waters

My spiritual mentor and I initially had a very stormy relationship but, as time passed, I discovered that she was invariably correct in both her words and her actions. Let me share one of my first "incidents" with my spiritual mentor. When I first met her, she made the "Question everything" statement that I mentioned earlier. Having been raised Roman Catholic with an "infallible Pope" whom I did not consider to be very "infallible", that statement piqued my interest. She then gave me a meditation book. At that point in my life, I was NOT an experienced meditator. However, I read the whole book within a week and returned to her with questions. When I told her that I had read the whole book and had questions, there was a long, uncomfortable (for me) silence after which she looked directly at me and asked, "You read the whole book in one week?" I could feel myself getting tense at that point and slowly started to withdraw as I anticipated a "quiz". I hesitatingly responded, "sort of". She then followed up with another question, "...and you practiced?" I was getting more and more uncomfortable with those questions and , once again, responded hesitatingly, "sort of". She then looked directly at me and said, "Practice. Only then can you ask questions. Now, you may leave." You can imagine how furious I was as I resolved never to come back to such an unwelcoming guru. From that point on, I used to visit the ashram ONLY when she was NOT there because I liked the people at the ashram. Finally, after practicing, there came a point when they could not satisfactorily answer my questions and referred me to her. I initially rejected that advice by saying that I didn't like her. Inwardly, however, I knew that there was no way I would subject my bruised ego to that humiliation again. However, as I thought more and more about that, I decided to take their advice since there was nothing to lose even if she responded similarly once again. With some trepidation, I approached her when she returned to the ashram from abroad and was completely blown out in a very positive way. Having practiced for some time, her responses were so enlightening and so on target that it marked the beginning of a very long and productive relationship but not without some turbulence due to my intellectual and egotistical nature at that time. (LOL) That's how it all started. The key point is to PRACTICE. Without practice, there is really nothing to discuss except theory and my spiritual mentor was primarily inclined to point to direct experiences and avoided conducting long conversations about theories whenever possible. LOL PRACTICE is indeed the key. Because of my spiritual mentor's interactive style, she had few disciples. She would always say, "I am not here to entertain you but to point you to direct experiences so that you can become lights unto yourselves". In a book written about "Living Women Saints of India", she was portrayed as the "No Nonsense Yogini". That remains an apt description of this truly remarkable woman.

It's really good to hear that Selim Michael has been an inspiration to you and to others. I was similarly impressed by his writings, and am wondering whether your post suggests that you actually met him and practiced under him. If so, it would be interesting to hear some of your special personal stories while practicing under his guidance. As for your comment to "get yourself a living teacher if you must have a teacher", I searched the world for a living teacher and, upon finding her, I practiced under her guidance for over 30 years. Even now, I wouldn't trade her for any of the others, including Selim Michael. Each aspirant is unique and that is most assuredly a factor in choosing a guru or being called by a guru. While you are correct that an external guru is not absolutely necessary and that there are indeed "people realizing enlightenment all over the place", I have discovered that many of the so-called enlightened ones "all over the place" lack substance and are merely a composite of quotable quotes with little or no direct experiences. When one stills the mind, the colors/lights come naturally and the subtle vibrations manifest equally naturally as they draw one closer and closer to the Source. However, to call the natural manifestation of lights and sounds "enlightenment" is questionable at best. As you probably know, even Selim differentiates between enlightenment and liberation. In addition, there are various levels of enlightenment as the Reality reveals itself in the proper moment(s). Even Selim talks about the many "enlightened ones" who are actually quite deluded and stuck in a very comfortable, smug "spiritual rut". I am reading my second Selim book, "Obstacles to Enlightenment and Liberation", with the intention of using it as an additional checklist to identify any lingering "spiritual ruts" into which I have become "stuck". In any case, I would like to hear more about your own personal light and sound meditations as well as the direct inner experiences leading to your realization.

I just received my second book by Edward Selim Michael (Obstacles to Enlightenment and Liberation) and he's quite direct with his opening statements. "It must be noted that currently, in the West and even in India, most seekers have only a superficial understanding of what spiritual practice really involves. It is common to hear beginners speaking of 'felicity (Ananda) or 'devotional love' (bhakiti) as if the simple fact of using these words were sufficient to come to experiences these out-of-the-ordinary states". I too have noticed this when I try to speak to those who present as "spiritual people" but actually lack depth and direct experiences when one tries to go past the lofty sounding words and theories. From the little that I've read thus far in this book, I can readily see some habits and tendencies in myself that require attention even after having practiced for over 30 years under a widely revered sage.

As one stills the mind, one's breath slows down quite naturally and effortlessly. I no longer practice breath control but have shifted attention to observing the mind. Mindfulness of the breath, however, is a "natural sedative" which relaxes beginners and makes them more conducive to meditation. Mindfulness of breath therefore does have obvious value. Let me share a story with you regarding the breath. Many years ago, I was in the steam room at the gym wearing only my bathing suit. When the steam became extremely hot and everyone left the room, I decided for some reason to meditate on the heat and went into meditation. I cannot say how long this lasted but I can say that I was completely oblivious to the intense heat. When I came out of it, the heat had subsided and there was a large number of people surrounding me, including my friend Chip. He said that, when they re-entered the steam room and saw me, I was sitting motionless like a statue. They could feel no breath coming out of my nostrils. My stomach was not showing any signs of expansion and contraction normally associated with breathing. Chip mentioned that he waved his hand in front of my face but there was absolutely no reaction whatsoever. He indicated that people were afraid to touch me for fear that I might go into shock since my state was completely alien to anything they had seen before. Just when they decided to contact the front desk to determine how to proceed and to assess whether medical attention was needed, I came completely out of it totally normal and refreshed. It is said that, by watching the breath, it slows down and the mind slows down with it. However, Ramana Maharshi once said that pranayama exercises merely "torture the nose". I've noticed that if one focuses on the mind and the mind alone, the breath patterns reflect the activity of the mind and "stop" (at least to outward appearances) quite naturally.

Well put. Identification is indeed a major issue to address.

It is interesting that condition 3 (Abiding as awareness but many thoughts and emotions flow naturally , with no attachment to them ) is your prevailing condition now, as that is the first exercise in the yogic thought-observation meditation technique.

Which of the three conditions applies most to you, or does that fluctuate ?

I have seen a lot of "A-Z schedules" and they always struck me as being unnatural and full of potential self-fulfilling prophecies. Fortunately, I stayed away from such "level teachings" as they seemed off-target as soon as I was exposed to them. My own teacher NEVER predicted results of meditation practices. Practices were generally "open-ended" so to speak and specific to the individual since each individual is unique. It quickly became clear to me that, if some one expected to have a particular sensation or experience, they would eventually cause it to manifest as a self-fulfilling prophecy. You presented the phenomenon with great clarity. I am fortunate that my spiritual mentor steered me away of a lot of the problematic practices being discussed on this thread.

I can see this happening and really appreciate your comments and the description of your own personal experience.

I had never heard of "meditation sickness" before so this article was very interesting. In my formative days, I would sometimes meditate for 8-9 hours on a weekend when I wasn't working but it was more akin to the thought-conception and discursive-thought associated with the first jhana in the Buddhist Satipattana Sutra as questions were being resolved. Upon resolution, this dissolved into thought-free stillness and equanimity on that specific subject. Then, at some point, I moved on to sleeping meditations ("conscious sleep") and walking meditations (pure alert awareness) and here-and-now meditations in waking life while working out specific issues in the here-and-now. I never got into those long empty stoned-out sitting meditations as they did not seem useful nor did I go into meditation with expectations of specific results. Then I read something from the Hindu sage Ramana Maharshi that "sitting in meditation for prescribed intervals at specific times is only for the merest of spiritual novices". That caught me by surprise initially but I understood. Fortunately, I never developed "meditation sickness" as described in that article and discussed in this thread. It's all very interesting and I'm glad that, somehow, I avoided these malpractices.

It is indeed true that "pretty much every religion dangles some sort of supernatural carrot to entice its followers to partake in it". Many religions also throw in the threat of hell and damnation to throw fear into the hearts of those who do not choose to partake in it. They foster greed (for a heavenly reward) and fear (of punishment). Those are not particularly good qualities to cultivate. I agree with you that one should look past those hollow promises and "come to perceive the glaring truth of actuality (what we really are)". I enjoyed reading your insightful post.

Very good advice!

You raise a very good point there --- a point that I hadn't really pondered much about the value of the "lineage" system. Well said.

If one is judicious in giving, money can indeed work. I've been in situations where people have embarrassingly been without money (such as when one discovers at a cashier counter that one doesn't have money because they left their wallet in the other purse). In such situations, I just tell the cashier to add their bill to mine and I would pay it. When they insist on getting my number or address so they can pay me back, I just tell them that the way to pay me back is to do something similar for some one else in an equally embarrassing financial situation. The idea resonates and is received very positively. If more and more people can be similarly inspired to do similar random acts of kindness, the world would become a better place. One random act of kindness, as described above, can create a very positive rippling effect. After all, it's only money but giving money can have very positive effects when done judiciously and wisely. This is just one example, but this one example should suffice to make my point.

There's a lot of really good points in your post, but what caught my attention most was "the perfect sacrifice, which is to sacrifice yourself, or do something good and noble without any chance of reward". Like yourself, I do almost no reading nowadays because there is a point at which one must practice more and read less despite the fact that many manuscripts have some really good pointers albeit along with a lot of stuff in which I too "have found so little that resonates for me as having any value". In reading the Sufi Master, Hazrat Inayat Khan, he avoids words such as "annihilation of the ego" or "sacrifice yourself" and actually replaces it with what I consider a more positive term: "resurrection in God". I've noticed that, as one enters the stillness more and more, one attunes to that which lies beyond and henceforth acts quite naturally and effortlessly in the best interests of the Totality with no expectation of a reward. It just happens. As I've often said, it's metaphorically comparable to soaring like an eagle into the metaphorical sky of (God) consciousness, seeing the Big Picture, attuning to it, and then returning to act as wisely as possible in the best interests of all with the understanding that the "all" includes one's own little self as well. I think that we are saying pretty much the same thing but in slightly different words. I really liked your post !

Wow ! You hit the nail right on the head with that post. Verily, the simple "basics" are indeed the "most advanced". Your insight into time was intriguing, as time most assuredly does "expand and fade......and becomes now". While the books are there "to point and help your remember", it is very true that "judgment is replaced by knowing in knowing nothing". In "not knowing" or "knowing without thinking", somehow all is revealed. I loved your post and would love to hear more from you.

Those words of wisdom are applicable throughout the ages, including today. Well said !

To use your terminology, "heartflow or inner compass" must indeed become "24/7 hearing it and acting upon it". As one's results after acting are unerringly optimal when one becomes thus aligned with it, it becomes easier and easier to make it a 24/7 experience. Although words eventually become inadequate, I'm comfortable with your statement that "stillness IS potential energy".

I'm glad that you enjoyed my story; I thought that you might appreciate it. Even in stillness there is potential energy.

When one enters the stillness in the depths of meditation, one transcends the little self-limiting personal ego and intuitively becomes aware of the vast panorama of the Cosmic Being. This is a direct experience and one can validate those experiences as real and not just imagination. Too many people call concentration "meditation" when it is not. Concentration is a preliminary stage that is required to become truly meditative. Let me share with you my own personal breakthrough story that happened many years ago during meditation as an example. My spiritual mentor was speaking at my home before a group of 30 of my friends and acquaintances. At the end, she looked at me and told me to always follow my "pure intuition" since it was very very strong. I said that I did; she countered that I didn't. I repeated that I did; she countered once again that I didn't. Finally, she told me that, on the next occasion when I had a pure intuition, I should follow it unquestioningly and I would learn something important. That intrigued me and I agreed. The very next morning, I was sitting in meditation and, while I normally could enter the stillness very quickly via mantra, I could not do so this morning. What kept coming to mind repeatedly was a gay acquaintance who had a boyfriend that I did not even know. The message coming through was that this boyfriend was in mortal danger --- a life-or-death situation --- and that I had to see him that very day for tomorrow would be too late. I couldn't get this out of my mind as hard as I tried to get rid of this disturbing thought about some one whom I didn't even know. Nonetheless, the thought kept recurring and I could not get rid of it because it was so strong. Suddenly, I recalled my teacher's words about "pure intuition" and wondered whether this was "pure intuition". Indeed, what is "pure intuition"? First of all, I realized that I didn't want this thought but couldn't get rid of it. I didn't want to follow through on this as I felt that I would look foolish bringing this up with an acquaintance whom I really didn't know that well. There was nothing to gain by following through on this, and there could be a lot of bruised ego () that could result from a follow-through. Finally, upon contemplating my mentor's words further, I concluded that this was "pure intuition" and that a follow-through was necessary to "learn something important" as she had put it. I was understandably very defensive when I called my acquaintance to inform him that his boyfriend was in mortal danger. I was so defensive that I preceded my revelation by the story about my spiritual mentor so he wouldn't think I was crazy. Even then, I was very uncomfortable. To my surprise, my acquaintance responded positively and said that he had been worried about his boyfriend's behavior over the last few days and said that he would call him immediately. He returned my call in a few minutes and said that his boyfriend wanted to see me that very day. Once again, I was apprehensive about meeting this complete stranger with this outwardly "absurd" warning. Nonetheless, having gone this far, I decided to continue to follow through. It took me about an hour to travel from my home to the boyfriend's apartment in Manhattan where my acquaintance met me. Understandably defensive once again, I preceded my warning with the story about my teacher. I then told him directly that I had a very strong "pure intuition" that he was in mortal danger, that it was a matter of life or death, and that tomorrow would be too late. I cringed waiting for the reaction. The boyfriend, who was in his early 20s at the time, started to cry at that point and said that he was going to reveal something that he had not told anyone else. He said that he had been tested for AIDS twice and had tested positive. He had made up his mind to commit suicide that very evening as soon as my acquaintance (his boyfriend) left town on a business trip. He said that he had everything in the apartment to commit suicide that very evening. He added that he had prayed that, if he was not supposed to commit suicide, that there be a very clear and unmistakable sign. According to him, this most assuredly qualified as a clear and unmistakable sign in answer to his prayer. Needless to say, my acquaintance cancelled his business trip to be with his boyfriend and the story has a happy ending. Through meditation and spiritual practices, the boyfriend was able to reverse his illness and subsequently tested negative multiple times as his life took a decidedly spiritual turn. Since that breakthrough experience, pure intuitions have arisen at other times in my life and, regardless of how "absurd" they may appear, I unquestioningly follow through on them and, as in this case, they can often be validated. They unerringly guide my steps one-step-at-a-time, as the expressions goes. What is meditation? The best definition (according to me personally ) is that it is the art of shifting attention to subtler and subtler levels of consciousness without losing a grip on those levels left behind. (I actually stole that definition from Nisargadatta Maharaj.) At the subtler levels, one clearly goes "beyond" the limited personal separatist perspective and I don't intend to quibble over the use of the word "beyond" as in your water/steam comment. Hopefully, you understand what I mean by "beyond" in this context. As such and such experiences become more and more common, one's doubts about the process are dispelled and one proceeds from faith to confidence to trust to complete SURRENDER to that which lies beyond the limited separatist egotistical little false self. At that point, one becomes a light unto one's Self and, with that guidance, acts intuitively and virtually unnoticed in the best interests of the Totality with no expectation of a return. To get back to the original point, despite Osho's somewhat controversial practices, I agree with him completely that Steiner does NOT know what meditation is. He teaches various forms of concentration which is an absolutely necessary requirement to be able to go into the depths of meditation. However, that's enough of Steiner for me. People must follow the path best suited to them individually and that is a matter of personal choice. Steiner does have a lot of interesting information to convey as one learns something from everyone and everything if one has eyes to see and ears to hear.

Personally, I LOVED your Zen story and, as you can see, I did a "like" on it.

My spiritual mentors have focused on making the disciples "lights unto themselves" and not dependent on a "transmission" from another being in the realm of duality. Our paths are obviously different, and that will not change for me. As for your statement that "people like Steiner / Montessori point to a more natural awakened state, the real human (divine human)", I have done readings from Steiner and met with many senior Steiner disciples. They are so intellectually-oriented that I do not consider them to be in a "more natural awakened state" nor do I want to proceed in any way to be more like them. I've been fixated in the intellectual in the past and have no intention of going back there again. You have to choose the practices best suited to yourself, and Steiner may indeed be best for you at this point in time.

The Prophet Mohammed is reported to have said something similar but with a different thrust. Say, "I am not something original among the messengers, nor do I know what will be done with me or with you. I only follow that which is revealed to me, and I am not but a clear warner." (Surah 46:9) http://corpus.quran.com/translation.jsp?chapter=46&verse=9 Mohammed preached surrender (to Allah) and his statement above demonstrates the completeness of his surrender. By saying that he does not know what will become of him, my sense (and I've discussed this with Imams and Shaiks) is that, upon leaving the physical form behind, he will continue to surrender to God and hence does not know what will become of him. It is very similar to the "Thy Will Be Done" passage in the Christian Lord's prayer. The Zen saying is cute, but I find the Mohammed quote to be far more revealing on the nature of surrender and unitary consciousness.

Actually, one does "lose one's self" in "undifferentiated consciousness" (my preference in terminology) in the clear vision state and, when one needs to interact, one simply activates one's mind and assumes one's role in this play of consciousness. One eventually "lives in two worlds" (so to speak) with the clear vision intuitively and unerringly guiding one's steps in stark contrast to the self-limiting perspective of the little separatist self. When one clears the mind completely, one soars like an eagle into the metaphorical sky of consciousness, sees the big picture, and returns with that "knowing without thinking" perspective. This dialogue is going deeper than most, and I thank you for moving in this direction. There is a Zen saying: "Equality without differentiation is poor equality; but differentiation without equality is poor differentiation". That seems as good a way as any to express this. The Sufis call it "dying before death". I believe that St. Paul explicitly refers to "losing one's self in God" but correct me if I'm wrong on that one. Another master positively refers to the process as "resurrection in God" instead of the less positive "annihilation/destruction of the little self". Good points ! Feel free to comment further.

There are obviously different levels of awareness as even a mentally disturbed person is aware of objects and people around them. Often, their impressions are colored by their conditioning/thoughts/limited-life-experiences/etc. I agree that neti-neti is not the way to "enlightenment". Saying what one is not does not reveal what one really is. We agree on the issues associated with neti-neti. I am quite familiar with the dusting of the mirror analogy. It was highlighted in the story about the 6th Zen Master. I am not saying that. Are you suggesting that, in order to know yourself, that must be transmitted energetically by a teacher ? Are you suggesting that the only way to know yourself is through transmission via another?