niko ev

Hi All.. This is my first post on this forum. First of all i will tell you my symptoms that i have been living for 1 year 3 months now. I just did meditation for 10 month, and all of the imbalance thing happened. I guess its because i was just too focused on my third eye and crown chakra area, not doing any kind of grounding, and not prepared. 1. feeling bumps in the head( forehead, around the eye sockets, crown, and both of my temples) 2. depersonalization and derealization, feeling disconected from reality ( people, places, enviroment, myself, and my mind) even i dont feel its me whose typinh right now, and my hand that typing right now now syncronized very well with my brain because i just feel so disconected. 3. brain fog, loss creative, indecisive, hard thinking prossess, cant read or understand a deeper topic on books, when the first time i experienced this is just so much harder,, i cant understand 1 sentence from books. 4. losing motivate to do anything. because everything looks heavier than before. 5. depression, panic attacks everyday, anxiety.. feeling like what happening in this world is too much for my brain to take. 6. every concepts in the world seems confusing, i cant understand a thing anymore 7. losing the sense of self, like i have been born again. 8. plants and tress look vivid and crystal clear, so beautiful.. except objects, animal, and human.. still looks the same but it disconected way. I have been doing energy follow attention to reduce all of the energy that got trapped in my head the techniques is pretty much similiar with the MCO ( but just for the front channel to drown the energy down, not the spine because it can bring more energy to my head and i dont want that), and also i did grounding visualization and its worked. I have been using all of the techniques for 2 months, and its give relief day by day.. But i feel the energy still so much in my head, and theres also energy got trapped in my throat. Like i feel there is something in my throat, but when i try to get it out, i just burp. So i burping everyday to get out the energy that stucked in the throat. My family thinks im weird, and made me want to go to the Doctor, but i dont want them to spend money to go to the doctor, while the problem obvisiously just about the stucked energy in my throat. Thank you so much, for anybody who kindly helped me out through this!

Its like you are spreading the love and happy feeling, and maybe because i stick my finger to your heart, maybe its create a connection to me.. And sending that love-happy feeling to me. No.. i just imagining a body, just an upper body. Im a woman myself. It doesnt bothering me at all.

I feel positive, cant stop smiling, and happy... out of nowhere lol.. I also feel that im trying to be emerging with your state? Like your loving-kind-happy state is contagious to me.

While im doing it i feel a tingling sensation in my tongue down to the throart, I guess i feel the energy drown down to the lower body. And also i feel spinning? I guess this is the change of state of my mind and mental state, but i still feel the same? Sometimes i notice i got a new state when i wake up in the morning. Im smiling while doing this i dont know why, i feel a loving and happy fun sensation coming from you? Haha, its good! I will try it again I just did it for 2 minutes i guess? just to see how will i feel

I see, interesting.. I want to try it out, but how it work? Like right now?

Wow, little push? i wonder how can that work? Is this kind of reiki? or? Im curious

I see, i think that kind of person is so rare in my area. But i will keep trying, thank you.

Hi, Yes i have been stop my meditation practices maybe almost 11 months? Because the more i became aware the more unbalanced things i noticed in my body when im doing my meditation practices. So i decided to stop. Sometimes i forgot that i have blocked in my throat, but the more the energy drown down unconciosly, the more it filled in my throat, and the more i burp everyday, lol. I still did grounding techniques, and any kind of technique that can drown the energy down, because i feel it moving in my lower body. And i noticed a relief day by day, especially in my mental state and my brain function. I think its different for everybody, wether it will work or not But I swear, you cant live without anxiety when you have a brain disfunction especially when you are in school. So there is almost no way for me to forgot that i have the symptoms, meanwhile the symptoms is attacking my brain function which makes me hard to think about everything. Because the way you live is by perceiving reality, but when you cant perceive or think anymore, you feel like you are losing yourself.. and i feel this is suffocating. Especially, im now in my last year of college, i need to finish it soon. My family also always asked me, when will i finish my degree. Its kinda stressing me out, while they dont know that im having all of this symptoms which cant make me finish my degree in the right time. This condition kinda messed my life up, thats why i want to try the quickest way to reduce it, so i can finish my degree in time. I live in village, so its easy to get a nature enviroment. I tried walking in barefood, staring so long in sky and tress, laying in grass, but it doesnt help me so much, than doing the grounding technique, which make me stable and more connected to my body.. I guess its just my body kinda not suited with get more connected with nature, but whenever i see nature, i feel more calming, but doesnt mean it reduced my brain disfunction and depersonalization. About the technique to notice the object from it shaped or it colour wihthout adding story to the objects, i think is it the same with mindfulness meditation? To be honest, I can do that right now, without my intention to just look at the thing for what it is... Hahah, thats the benefits from having Depersonalization, and also i have been doing meditation for 10 months by watching thoughts, so its kinda not hard to do that, in case whenever i see any object, i just see it for what it is.. But it worked different when i talk to people, seems i took what people said too serious. I think this mindfulness technique, is good but in the other side it also make me feel like im disconected from everything. So it make my dpd more worse... But i think its goof for calming my mind. For fasting, i think it will worked for me. I remember the time when i dont sleep at night until 6 am in the morning, and i feel more energized after not sleeping. Not because i energized so i dont sleep, i feel it after i dont sleep for that long. I feel hungry, but my brain function kinda felt improved? i just felt good with my brain condition. So maybe i will try it next time. I want to go to doctor, but its so rare for a psychiatrist or a spiritual teacher here, so talking in the forum is really so helpfull fore me. I will try the healing sounds soon! But i wonder from where i should start. and also will try the another tips, but right now i just avoided any kind of mindfulness activity/ noticing object. Except noticing or relaxing my head area which full of tension and pressure. Its help to drown the energy down. Will try to fast, thanks. Teacher and healer is rare here, getting help in this forum is very helpfull. Also im a broke college student lol.

Wow, how can you know i take things from outside so seriously, and can not let it go.. Sometimes i add drama to my thoughts because of some people behaviour that i dont like.. I want to be more aware with this kind of self defense, or playing victim mentality for my self. So i need more to connect with someone who have more strong emotion? im sorry i kinda dont understand what does it mean to have a "strong yin". Today i tried it to focus on the lower dantien, is it 2 inch below my navel? But its kinda hard to notice the energy moving from my head to lower body, my this just not suited with me? Sometime i just try to imagine myself as a sponge, and absorb all the tension in my head area and its worked very great, I know some people warn me to do any kind of technique that include energy movement, but for me.. Certain technique which can make me drown down the energy really make me have a certain relief day by day.. I guess is really different with some people, since we have different physical chemistry, and body condition.

May i know how did you manage the blocked energy in your heart area? I also have kundalini psychosis for 1 year 3 months, and trying MCO, but the energy flow just stuck in my throat. And this stuck energy make urge for me to burp, so i burp everyday. I have no idea how to unblock this, should i just keep burping until it open?

Thank you for the tips.. But may i know what cold shower for?

fast? what is it for? may i know?

Glad to meet some people whose have the same experiences as me. But, i just keep continuing doing the energy follows attention techniques, i can feel the energy tingling from the bridge of my nouse to the tounge and it end on the throat. I keep doing it everyday. I dont know if its okay to keep doing it, while the throat still not opened.

Thank you for responding and welcoming ! I will try to keep my life going.. But right now its just feel so stuck, i cant even do my daily school life because i can not fuction my brain like normally do. Its hard to be in school where we have to understand the topics, and be in grup to start the discussion, my brain can keep up with it. So... but im trying not too much focusing on my condition, my family also dont know what is happening to me. Being stuck also a problem in my family situation, since this have to be my last semester on college, but i dont know if i can finish it this semester or not, due to my brain fog/disfunction problem.. But i just keep trying to finish this.. Just wish me luck.

i have a questio about mco. 1. is it safe to practice mco without guidance? 2. do i have to open all the channels/chakras in my body first then do the mco, or i can go straightly to mco.. because i have energy trapped in my head and having a kundalini psychosis. and i know all of the chakra still not balanced very well. but i want to heal the energy stucked in my head.. so i wonder, what should i do?