faceless

I'm 22 and have been celibate for 3 years with long periods of abstinence from masturbation. I've gotten to know and explore my energy in ways that have deeply transformed my awareness. As much as I tried to impose on myself the idea that sex for the sake of sex is unhealthy and that I should let a relationship naturally come my way, I desire sex with a lot of women. I have diverted my sexual energy in getting physically shredded, working on my business, goals, etc, but I can't shake the feeling that having a rich liberated sexual life with little strings attached could be the next stage of my expression and help me realize myself to a new level. One extreme would be to be completely oblivious to my sexual desires, which is what I've mostly been doing. The other would be to be so immersed in it that I get lost. I'm sensing a middle way, a way in which I stay centered, have lots of great sex, increase my energy in the process, increase my partners' energy, become more creative, down to earth, and supportive. Has anyone experienced this middle way?

Thanks @rideforever. Others, forgive me for any way in which I may have expressed defensiveness. I'm new here and some of you definitely don't feel welcoming. In my tradition (native american practices), we don't put much emphasis on what people think they know, we look at how they behave. I don't care what you think you know, if you're not showing support, compassion and love, you may very well just be fooling yourself. Thanks for those who have provided perspective and help me see how I was judging my sexuality. I'm out of here.

I did not come here to argue but to receive perspectives. I employed the word healing with the perspective that I've attached to it, and your post seemed to put me in a box: " For a 22 year old you are deep in an existential crisis" If you're so wise you feel positioned to tell me I've much to learn about life, telling someone they're "deep in an existential crisis" does not sound very wise to me. I then explained my perspective, the way in which I was employing this word "healing" and asked you not to make assumptions.

Careful with assumptions before telling me where I am, you don't know my path. There is no separation, but an illusion of it. All is healing from the perspective that all human beings are working through whatever wounds are making them live in samsara. In this perspective, unless you are God, you can't seriously say there is no separation at all, and you've got more to heal. Healing = awakening = the path = love = truth = all there is.

yes. isn't all this a healing journey? healing from the illusion of separation.

Thanks y'all. I've only been actively approaching women for 2 days and it's been deeply awakening already. I finished an interaction with a woman today with a deep sense of neediness -- looked at that, and am healing so much right now. Realizing that this process is not even about me "getting sex" but piercing through whatever self limiting beliefs are lowering my self esteem, disconnecting me from God, and as a material side effect restricting my sex life. If I had stayed in my cave meditating, I could pretend that I'm awake, when I'm just avoiding the truth. My thinking sometimes gravitates so much towards wanting to wake up, be a Buddha, leave this suffering behind, go back home, that I make all of life toxic. I may just sound like a young guy happy he might start getting laid again, and there could be some of that, but I'm feeling the emergence of a genuine appreciation of a simpler more humble life right now, accepting that I am no Buddha, accepting that it is alright for me to live as a human being and do what human beings do.

Thanks for your feedback! I've had my fair share of disappointment and low energy women on apps. My current approach is physical, and as I'm learning to get over whatever nervousness sometimes arises approaching attractive women, I'm healing! I'm consuming authentic dating content (no PUA, manipulation, negging etc). Any of you has any authentic dating resources to share? Or any experience in cultivating a greater spiritual practice all while having lots of sexual fun?

Hello shortstuff, If "unawakened people" disgust you, it is because you are unawakened yourself. Your frustration is a projection of what you feel for yourself. Your disgust of people's ignorance is your disgust of yours. Please give yourself the chance to love yourself, my friend. Everything unfolds at the right pace. As we wake up, we eventually transcend "me and them." In that transcendental place, you see others as facets of "you" to some degree and you see their ignorance as yours, you give it compassion and acceptance, because you understand that this is the best thing to do, because you understand that you are the one who gets to decide whether you want to beat yourself up or liberate yourself. As far as friendships go, you obviously want to be around people who can understand you deeply. As long as you are not the most enlightened being on Earth, there are great people that you can meet. Pray to be guided to the right people. Also some suggestions: look for temples, devotional events (kirtans, etc). "Worst case" scenario: if you were truly the most enlightened being on Earth, you'd have transcended loneliness long ago, God would be your friend. Hope this finds you well, Blessings to you.

Hi, I am happy to join this forum. Interests include native american traditions, internal alchemy, ancient scriptures of all traditions, theosophy. Blessings to you all, - Faceless