Hi,
I have been meditating for 4 years now. Some energy based exercises and some resting in awareness stuff.
Initially I started with breath meditation as mentioned by Ajahn Brahm and in time encountered my first nimmitta. The taste of luminous, powerfull joy got me hooked in no time and I started sitting for extended periods.
Then one fine day, existential fear filled me. I had sensed a deeper presence beyond all appearances - very solid yet knowing. Energy roared through me, lighting up inside and outside. The heart beat faster and it was an agony I won't easily forget. The top of the head opened up and as I surrendered, a void beyond everything came in which I was lost. After returning, waves of bliss was felt and it was known that extensive purification of the body was needed.
So, I started reading about practices from different traditions and following Kriya, Kundalini based energy practices and resting in awareness. All was well and there has been much clarity, lightness and bliss.
Untill, the heart started purifying. This one is not a simple road. Initially, icy pain started to appear and it led to much coughing and getting cold. After that, waves of physical and emotional pain started getting released. With a life that is steady, still there was an energetic appearance in my awareness that there was no joy anywhere anymore. Everywhere only suffering. Each event in life I am tested from the heart perspective. But, then once in a while I experience powerfull joy bringing tears to the eyes. The ups and lots of downs of the heart.
I came here looking for techniques and lifestyle choices that can take me through purification of middle dantien. I have been reading here for a few months and have seen some good answers. Hope to learn more in the time to come.
Also, I was interested to see if I can find something in PPD section. Wonder if someone can tell if it is possible to unlock that?
Many thanks,
Vaib
