-_sometimes

What is the reason for this phenomenon? When I let the mind rest of its own accord with eyes open, very quickly, I see this fuzzy purple swirling that goes from the periphery of my vision to the center, like a regular pulsation. Is there a scientific explanation for this? Is it perhaps a sign of change in brainwave signals? I should note this has been occurring ever since I was able to stop conceptually separating what I see in my field of vision - as in what I see is all uniform, I don't see a tree, I see that which is called a tree, if you understand.. The swirling color is almost like a screensaver as my brain goes into 'nothing mode'. I can slump into a chair, just let everything be, and in less than a minute, the color appears. Anyone know what's up?

No, it doesn't feel like anything

I practice a kind of zen meditation, so I just am what I am at the time. I've never been able to meditate well with eyes closed as I have to force them there, and that's even more difficult if I just lower the eyelids. I don't focus on 'seeing' per se, but sight is there, as my eyes are open. I'm really just curious as to what is going on in my brain as the color pulsates

Do you happen to have sources for the research? I think they could make for an interesting read

lol that would be epic holy crap.. are you telling me you experience this yourself????

I was advised in a previous post that I needed to stop energy work and get grounded, and wait an extended period before I begin energy work of any kind. I've been looking into physical exercise that might prove helpful, and it seems my options are bodyweight and/or stretching. After browsing many posts here, I've come to the conclusion that stretching combined with internal work is best overall, because eventually energy work develops bodily strength and acts as a form of resistance training. Since I plan to get back into the internal arts, I might as well just stretch for now, and let the resistance training come later. Does anyone have any book recommendations that teach full body stretching carried out in a safe manner? It seems there is much discussion around the best kind of stretching, what causes damage and so on, but ultimately I wish to be in good health, have enough flexibility to sit in full lotus whilst at a desk, and prepare my body physically for when I take up the internal arts. Is this feasible?

Hello friends, I hope you are all well For a long time, not long after leaving my lifelong religion, I have had existential fears and dread expressed through a subtle 'feeling' in my realm of awareness, that permeates my underlying experience. It is extremely uncomfortable and very suggestive in nature, the feeling creates narratives about my experience, frames them in certain ways, and they are always negative. Often it is just a general uncomfortable atmosphere where just being alive is an uneasy experience. Thanks to intensive mindfulness practice over the past few years I have recently been able to feel these sensation more closely, and well, very often the sensations disappear just by looking at them and refraining from indulging in the narrative or not attaching myself at all to their appearance. Once I notice the sensation for what it is, I get this cold rush up the sides and back of my head, sometimes quite intense and vibrating. To be honest, I'm just really curious as to what the relation is. Because it happens every time I get through any sort of weirdness that passes through this mind, whether it the aforementioned uncomfortable feeling, or some remnant of a recent bad psychedelic trip, or a narrative about my place in the world, if I just let it be, what was previously believed to be real is seen as an appearance and immediately the cold rush up the back of the neck and sides of the head. Any thoughts? Apologies if this is a decidedly pointless post, I'm just curious xD

My experience feels more empty, there is more 'voidness' to it, the more I allow this to happen, but I have never really had any sudden flashes of insight. Progress for me existentially has been a slow, gradual process, letting go of trying and experience feeling more atmospheric and magical as time goes on, but since I haven't really studied the stages of insight I wouldn't really know

Thank you for your post it was very helpful, validating if you will xD Could you expand on this a little more, if you don't mind?

To double check, so I am certain It is okay to practice baduanjin and zhan zhuang, even if I seem to have problem with qi deviation, appears to cause pressure in head, etc. and it is safe without a teacher to correct such aspects like spinal alignment etc? A post I made a few days ago outlined the issue I am facing. several people suggested stopping all kinds of internal work, including zhan zhuang. When I tried zhan zhuang in the past, after 10-20 minutes I often felt light headed, weak and really tired.

of course! I'm pretty unfit and sedentary myself, perhaps it will be good to follow your guide and see how far it gets me. As you mentioned, the external and internal complement one another, at least up to the level you consider 'basic fitness' xD 'only' implying doing so shouldn't pose a problem, even for someone who might have qi deviation of sorts?

A magnificent guide thank you! There is not much detail on stretching, particularly when it comes to opening the hips to enable full lotus posture, but I can find that information myself Given that I wish to refrain from internal arts, which includes zhan zhuang, as it seems I have some level of qi deviation according to the advise given by forum members, I presume that is not too problematic? I can work through the physical whilst confidently ignoring the qigong?

I'm 20, and the only sort of exercise I've ever done was calisthenics for about a year. I can't really afford classes or pay for courses, so I was hoping I could find a book of some sort. I'm fairly new to the forums, what is PPD?

Each day, shortly after waking up, pressure begins to build in my forehead just above my eyes, and progressively gets worse until the end of the day or until I do something physical like walking, which only helps for the period it lasts, as energy in the face drastically increases once I stop. If I stand still and relax tension in the spine, my feet relax into the inner sole, legs bend inwards, my head is forced upwards, mouth open, and constant 'jerks' of the head to the left. Often there is a need to lift up my arms above my head which allows a little more movement, but I either end up back where I started or with arms above the head, nothing happening.. like so /o\ - always accompanied by incessant jerks of the head to the left side. Always the same. I'm often feeling an urge to keep my mouth open which implies some blockage somewhere too I believe, because the natural state when balanced should be mouth closed, tongue to the roof of mouth right? This has been a recurring issue for the past year that I might have been able to identify. It appears my shoulder, neck and back muscles are physically misaligned and I simply can't seem to untangle them. No matter how many times I let the body follow the muscular movements, eventually I get stuck in awkward positions where nothing happens, and so I let go of whatever position I have ended up in and start over. By following muscular movements I mean I relax my upper spine to the point where the muscles move of their own accord, hands, shoulders, arms, head.. but it never seems to do anything substantial.. both because my awareness is not penetrating enough to truly allow movement to happen, so it is often mildly assisted, and because too much movement throws off my concentration and it becomes a long and arduous process of moving ever so slightly, stopping and regaining awareness of the whole body, letting go of personal will, then a little more movement and so on.. very difficult, doesn't really get anywhere. I constantly feel so much slower than I know I am, difficulty grasping concepts, poor vocabulary recall... but I can think and learn.. it just takes so much longer than it used to. I believe I have 'qi in the head'? I have tried zhan zhuang, but this inevitably leads to either involuntary muscular movement as mentioned above, or I get very light headed and feel physically weak after ten minutes, with increased pressure in the head and feeling worse overall.. What should I do? What can I do? I cannot afford to ask for advice from the known kundalini/taoist teachers online as all this has made procuring any substantial income nigh on impossible. Where should I look, what practices would help? I appreciate any and all input. I am getting desperate.. Thank you all

So when this pressure is in my head.. and my attention rises to it.. I don't understand what I should do then. Because the feeling is so strong, equivalent to a headache kind of 'grossness' - if you will, my attention naturally gravitates to the area. Now it is not good to keep it there as that would just enforce the same pathway. And if I should refrain from trying to ground myself, well.. what do I do then. My attention is on the pressure, I can't do anything about it. I shouldn't do anything about it? Do I just allow my attention to rest there and not bother with it? Just let it exist?

I spend a lot of time sitting down, many hours. I will probably walk outside for 1-2 hours daily.

It develops when I am still. Be that standing, or sitting, or lying. But yes walking as I can recall does indeed significantly reduce the pressure. Although walking inside like wall to wall doesn't, which is curious

xD why do you ask

and yes that is true, but I saw if for myself this time

I appreciate where you are coming from, but I am stuck in my head.. I don't how not to be, and so by default, without doing anything, I am stuck in my head. It seems to me almost impossible to not be stuck in my head unless I actively work to get out of my head, to balance out what I'm feeling. I'm sorry if it feels like you are talking to a brick wall lol but I want to make sure you understand where I am at. Atm not doing anything just means letting my head fill with pressure :\

Thank you for asking ;p I got out of my head for the first time in so long yesterday. It strikes me that I've just been really really overcharging my upper dantien, with very little grouding, and its been like this for years. I haven't been able to balance myself out energetically because I've always been operating from the head down. I felt more balanced then I'd ever felt when my resting awareness dropped out of hyper focusing on my head, and relaxed into the body. I believe that people with naturally little neurosis are actually resting in the lower body without realizing. I will probably create another thread regarding this.. but I feel that I should be considering energy practices that focus on grounding, not avoiding energy practice all together, as I have a strong habit of resting in my head that I need to actively resolve.

.. my thread :\

Alright guys, I think your advice should be paid attention to and I will stop all energy work, spontaneous movements and what not, and get grounded. You are right I am too much in my head. It's time to stop for now and get real. I'm going to focus on fixing my posture physically. Fortunately doctors have not detected anything unusual or neurological, so perhaps I just need a good long reset. What are some good ways to ground myself, aside fixing my posture physically and physical exercise? What about the tension in my forehead? I can feel it right now it's really quite intense - like liquid pooling behind my eyes. Will it really go away by placing attention elsewhere? Eg. it's night time right now I can't go do some gardening, my attention inevitably rises to my forehead as this feeling is the strongest feeling in my experience. .

By letting go of any intent or agenda. But I'm not too good at it, so admittedly in the past much of the movement was 'assisted'.

Thanks all for the advice given. It is very much appreciated. I can't not be mindful. That is not possible anymore, unless I chose to constantly lose myself in thought over and over again, if that would even work. At this point, mind quietens without doing anything, which inevitably leads to this tension in the head. It almost like my awareness is resting by default in the center of the forehead. I don't choose to put awareness anywhere, I don't direct attention - in fact the reason I stopped meditating is directing attention felt 'wrong', artificial. I stopped meditation about a year ago, now I have no practice, but I keep progressing anyway - I know this because I am constantly improving my ability to recognizing useless thought, existential worries, and so on. And my experience is increasingly vivid as time goes on - huge increase in depth perception, colors are bright and more vivid; like someone is upgrading my GPU hahah, or you've just taken a small dose of shrooms.. This tension in the forehead, the neck jerks.. they happen of their own accord, and I do nothing to bring them about. I don't try to focus on the head, I don't try to manipulate energy or do any sort of directed practice. The neck movement occurs because a build up of tension in a particular spot, eventually forcing movement in that direction - I try to let go of personal will and let the body move, so that this tension can resolve itself, because not doing anything is not option because that's what I'm doing already!