cloud444

Awhile ago i wrote how i had a unwanted kundalini awakening, i could not face it because i had prior health issues for over nine years including epilepsy. i fought the kubdalini tooth and nail. anytime i did semen retention after this awakening i would have dreams of snakes and a strange ball would start flying up and down a central channel trying to blow my head off. alot of people told me to surrender but i was in such a weakened state i couldnt. at this time i could only masturbate once a week, then once every two weeks and eventually only once a month. i had extremely low back pains and eventually a shock sent up my body and i developed neuropathy everywhere. burning numbness and tingling in all my limbs. this kept going for two years. i couldnt move during this time but i hated kundalini energy so much because i didnt want to be controlled my entire life by it , and i didnt like it damaged me because i just wanted a break and to be free. regardless none of this story matters. where im at now is, i want to restore my jing and heal my body, so even if you dont believe this story so far or whats happened. here is my latest development and looking for advice. eventually the neuropathy got so bad it went into my colon, a bad shock sent down throughout there. the pudendal nerve was damaged. the nerve responsible for sexual function. the pain there got worse and worse, three times over a couple months. in the ayurvedic system they call this extreme vata imbalance and even on a more sub scale ( apana vata) because of this damage i will never be able to have sex again, or sit comfortable. i have laid in bed in incredible pain screaming everyday. here is the kicker. i cannot restore jing anymore because of this. since this damaged occured i am having nightly nocturnal emissions i couldnt understand because usually the only time that would happen to me is from extreme overwork or a day where i was overheated. then i finally read about how if the perineal nerves in the colon and pudendal area are weakened or destroyed you can have constant nocturnal emissions. as i lay in bed, everyday i have the classic signs of jing deficiency at only age 30 because of over 10 years of extreme extreme stress. i have deep pale circles under my eyes, a pale white complextion and can barely move , all my joints ache and crack and i get dizzy standing up longer then 10 minutes. i guess this is what happens when you fight a kundalini awakening. but from my guess now is, regardless if anyone believes that i think this is my soul or higher self finally trying to kill me. my jing is so low my back screams in pain, my nerves burn me on fire to the point im in agony and my asshole hurts so badly from the nerve damage there i cannot sit, and hurts to use the washroom. now what little jing i have left is being excreted through nocturnal emission and i have no control or way to stop it from the weakened area. as i look at myself in the mirror i look like a shell of myself. a desperate soul ready to part with this world. im assuming when my soul decided to damage the nerves down there it is my soul preparing for me to die

so to heal i have to think less

what kind of desires other then sexual ones should i stop, like even thinking about things i want to do in life? im motivated to completely restore my body so ill do anything thag must be done

i thought sleep doesnt replenish jing though only qi?

buddy you are stupid. you don't read clearly. go pay your two prostitues a week and have your sex. seriously. i was on some medications when i was younger and weened off them. i only added that to elaborate how long i was suffering. by the time all this energy stuff happened i was mostly off the medication and well on my way to health. i took some anti seizure meds after a head injury. ALL of that was basically healed by the time this energy stuff happened. i am not " confused" about the timeline of my own life

yep im screwed im going to thrownthis body in the trash soon. my life was ruined by kundalini and my life force ran out. its not just sexual energy, my sexual organs are damaged. the pudendal nerve in the colon is what is needed for sexual function and mine is destroyed. i cant get an erection or have sex ever again. im useless . oh well this world sucks and we are all going to die anyway. waste of time having experiences here

ive literally been resting in bed for four years, eat healthy, sleep, NO spiritual practices but this stupid shit will NOT go away. thats the problem, and the ONLY problem which causes me stress then i get sicker. my eyes have deep circles, i have. no energy, all my joints ache. and my colon is so damaged it cannot hold my seed as they are the nerves that deal with sexual function. my semen leaks and i get even weaker. then if you read the article " when kundalini breaks the last block" you will see exactly what happens to me. this stupid fucking shit keeps coming up over and over. i cannot rest, because it will not leave me alone whenever i do try to heal

also i cant restore jing because my colon is damaged and that affects sexual health, my semen just leans constantly in my sleep, my body is useless and cant do anythi g right so i just get sicker and darker circles in my eyes

this is what exaxtly happens to me, rest and sleep more and save my seed and then i get stuck in sleep paralysis and a strange ball goes flying up and down. this guys has EXACTLY to the T of what happens to me. i cant believe i found someone else who experieced what i do. it just wakes up durong sleep and i get stuck in paralysis

I have a question @eden @Kubba this person @freeform says that kundalini does not do these things. as two people that have had an awakening could you confirm if this is true. im fairly certain kundalini causes bliss sensations in the body. he doesnt seem to believe anything about kundalini and is adamant that its not possible for most to have it . this is what he has stated Kundalini doesn’t cause kriyas, spontaneous movements, mudras, breath changes (but Yang Qi does) Kundalini doesn’t cause dreams or give you visions in that manner (but Yang Qi can). Kundalini doesn’t feel blissful or orgasmic (but Yang Qi can).

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thank you ive been doing what he mentioned already but the energy has continued to raise regardless but they arent understanding that. i will definitrly check out earl grey

what happened to me was i was doing very deep states of meditation jsut relaxing for over a year. during one of these i felt a stirring in the base of my body, it moved like a snake, and i had dreams of snakes during this time. when it rose my body did weird pranayama breathing on its own, like my chest was pushing in and out, i had waves of bliss, and it went up a coiled path in my body, igna or pinala or whatever, then a ball went flying up and down a central channel. during this time my body did spontanoues mudras, and weird yogic poses, it also had waves of bliss. but for some people they dont believe spontanous awakenings can happen, and being in the groups and seeing its definitely rare but can happen to people.

you saying if a kundalini awakening might be soontaneous but wouldnt last long doesnt make sense. the thing about kundalini is once the serpent awakes there is no stopping it. thats the difference between kundalini and yang qi rising

well i had a few kundalini teachers who are renowned believe me, one is marklefool who runs the kundalini reddit and met me i. person. i had kriyas and bliss and all sorts of phenonmema happen to me. im not sure if you are understand many people are going through spontanoeus awakening in the world right now. it is a hard thing to awake, but also many people also do go through it on accident like me

i was doing extremely deep meditation , breath of fire and yoga when this awoke, i didnt know what i was doing. but please believe me it was insane and the symptoms were crazy and spiritual phenonmema was theough the rough. one reason some people believed me is because i was doing the pranayama breathing when it awoke, my chest and body was pushing out breath on its own and i experienced intense kriyas and shaking as the energy fly around in my body

i helieve your right about a lot of whag you said, except there are many spontaneous kundalini awakenings if you look far wnough. no matter what i have done trying to relax this energy has kept trying to come up, dreams of snakes are often a sign with the enery rising. the nerve problems happened after my yin drained so much, i eventually go VERY bad low back pains and a shock sent through my entire body. and i developed neuropathy. here is the thing about kundalini, it was an extremely powerful electromagnetic force. it causes waves of bliss, out of body experiences, it was extremely sexual energy in narure, it raised in a coiled path then tryed going up and down a straight one. like a ball trying to break through a block. i know kundalini awakening is rare but i wish some people would believe me. i even met a very prominent kundalini master that runs the reddit forum and he believes me. regardless it doesnt matter. you would think after 4 years this energy would stop trying to come up. its because you cant turn kundalini off, once this energy opens up it does not stop. thats why i never got a break or chance to relax, because im in constant fear of it and hate it and it STILL tries to come up. either drain myself and get more grey hair at age 30 and worsen my neuropathy or if i do semen retention and try to heal the devil comes flying back up. always followed with a dream of a snake, then intense bliss at the bottom of my spine and it tries to fly up again

i really appreciate the advice, the real problem is everytime i rest and relax the stupid fucking energy keeps trying to raise up my spine. that IS literally all the problem i have. do any semen retention and try to restore myself and that fucking demon snakes tries coming back up my spine again. that is it, that is all, all the prior issues i had were completely healed by the time this energy raised up. I SOLELY mentioned them because i was trying to elaborate how long i have been through troubles and despertely hate having to go through a kundalini awakening

yes but my issues were related to practices i did, even if i do have them i dont know how to remove

someone once told me i had two astral entities but said the only way to remove is to change my " beliefs" just seems like a bunch of hearsay . no concrete evidence and no way to see when they are gone.

nerve damage isnt curable anyways so no point in finding out the logistics of it. its damaged and doesnt work due to neuropathy. neuropathy is uncurable. there is nothing else needed to know

also no point in getting mri, the nerve is not trapped, it was burned like my neuropathy. more lime being zapped then being physically damaged i already seen my doctor about it. i have burning and numbness and tingling head to toe

all fun ans games but you arent understanding. if i stop masturbation and do semen retention which i need to do. i get bliss at the bottom of my spine and a ball of energy goes flying up and down a central channel trying to bust through my head. if it was yang qi it would have alleviated after four years. the semen retention gives the awakened kundalini the lighter fluid it needs to try and raise up again. most people will tell you dreams of snakes involve a kundalini awakening. im telling you, im one of the very few individuals who have this going on and have spoke to numerous kundalini gurus, other famous teachers who believe me. it doesnt matter what i do. it does NOT stop trying to raise up. thats the problem. it cannot be avoided anymore. im just going to have to let it raise. and No thats not true. plenty of people have spontaneous kundalini awakening just doing meditation deep breathing and yoga. mine first rose in one of the spiral paths after doing the breath of fire, it was an insanely blissful and sexual like energy like an orgasm raising up my spine. and since then it has continued to raise. it doesnt matter what i do. there is no " not focusing on it" you dont understand the more i keep fighting it from raising is what has made me more ill. regardless i guess ill just have to face it because nothing is keeping this piece of shit snake down anymore

those things happened much earlier in my life and i was relatively healed from all, i only put those in to elaborate my frusteration how i was finally healed and then forced into a kundalini awakening. i was 90% healthy at that time. the more i fought the kundalini trying to raise the more issues developed the longer i fought it. first it was lower back pains, then it translated in neuropathy, then it damaged my colon area, everytime the kundalini tried to continously come up and i fought it i would end up with a new issue. i had mris in the past . but the point i was getting too is i was mostly healthy until i fought the kundalini, which i really hate.

i have health issues because of unwanted kundalini and fighting it, and extreme stress for many years. regardless even if i have these entities, i cant just " look for them" i cant see shit. i see a regular body just like everyone else. i have no magical power sorry