Daniel

In my world, mandelbrot is a cookie. I learned something new today, thank you.

It's a broken vessel = missed opportunity

It was a counter-culture movement, right? So, who are counter-culture now?

from my very little experience, operating at this level implies informed consent, so yes people don't even know until it's too late.

I think you're making a very good point. It makes me wonder if God is intended to be a role model? I'm also now I wondering if God can have an aversion. If we are talking about the same God concept, an aversion would never be created because it is contrary to God's will? But without aversion, can desire exist? But without desire there would be no creation ... and then poof, I just convinced myself that I do not exist.

Maybe. If you look at the way I phrased the statement in the negative, there is no contradiction between what you're saying and what I'm saying. If "God doesn't want" ( because that is anthropomorphic ) Then it's true "God doesn't want to be found".

I agree that spirituality is based on some other form of reality. But not from another planet or based on technology. If I recall this is detailed in the Greater key of Solomon and Sefer Raziel.

Proximity is irrelevant.

Sure. Nicely said. That's one way. But love is fickle, unpredictable, relentless, possessive, and all-encompassing. Love doesn't let go. I would rather avoid becoming Love. Another less perilous way is to draw the chaotic energy into a vessel of sorts. The most common is the ritual. But I would expect there to be others I'm not aware of. A ritual is orderly, chaos is drawn to it. It can be approached and channeled without entering into it. A ritual has a defined beginning, a defined ending. There's no infection, no reconciling opposites, no conquering evil. Yes, it's less dramatic than what you've described. But at least you, and other readers, now know there is at least one alternative.

Two comments about this: 1) Don't forget that there's more to Kesser than will. Kesser, like everything, has an inner and an outer dimension. The inner dimension of kesser is will, the outer dimension is pleasure. Cultivating pleasure (aka joy) can be just as rewarding/empowering as cultivating will. Both would be, of course, better than one or the other. 2) Your observations about Kesser are dependent on your point of view, your perspective. What you're describing is from the bottom looking up. If you were able to zoom out, I think you would see things a little more distinct, and, for lack of a better word, more complete.

Don't be sad. God/Divine providence are hidden from everyone. If you have food, water, housing, etc... in door plumbing, that's divine providence. Simple stuff. Regarding Finding God. I don't think God wants to be found.

God is not love. God created love. However, I would not be surprised if an angel/demon claims to be love and attempts to impersonate God. Something to consider maybe.

In order for this to be convincing examples are needed. Specifically showing the original written language and how it is a metaphor for the process of eastern cultivation. Thank you,

OK, so how precisely does one make an elixir of life? It seems like the topic of the thread got lost somewhere.

I thought you were trying to advocate for this system... guess not.

For me, it's better to understand these powers you encountered as Angels or Divine Laws. Yes they will be uncaring and possibly cruel. They are created to perform a purpose. Nothing more, nothing less. They have no will of their own, they mindlessly do their job. The other thing is, these pursuits are not intended to be solitary. There's strong protections when working within a community. In the past, occult topics were passed on orally and the initiate was chosen based on their mental emotional and ethical stability. They were over 40, settled down in a marriage with children. They were well grounded individuals. Unfortunately, occult topics are in print available to anyone who wants to learn about it. The protections in the past are null and void. Something to keep in mind... maybe The divine chariot goes up and down. It's a lot easier to hitch a ride going down, and then go up, rather than jumping on while the chariot is rising. It sounds to me like you descended instead of ascended and you weren't prepared for what was waiting for you in the abyss. The good news is that the divine chariot operates on a schedule, it's a processional. So, even if you're stuck in the abyss, there should still be a way for to ascend. But you're at a disadvantage because most don't start their journey from where you are right now.

From my reading Jesus was acting out the story of Enoch, "The Son of Man" who ws raised to heaven alive and was elevated to near God status as the Judge of mankind and the savior of the captives in Hell on Jubilee. Well at least that's one of the threads the authors of the New testament decided to include in their scripture.

I'm sorry you have gone through this and are now in this state. As I've said before, I think you can climb your way out of it, but it takes many steps. Your heart and mind became inspired by some very lofty ideas, and then these ideas turned on you. Rebuilding your energy would benefit from going back to basics, before ideas, before the heart and the mind. Awaken your animal nature. Eat, drink, excercise, sleep. After you are in a good routine slowly reintroduce yourself to inspiring topics, like the occult. But only after your body has become reaquainted with being alive.

reality check: are you able to decode the inscriptions on this diagram??

why do you say that? if I recall the prohibition is directed at the Jewish nation, not others.

that's the left hand path

Love bound with respect is one the most powerful motivating forces in creation.

God is complete, that's one version of perfection.

What did you learn from researching the Golden Dawn?