helpfuldemon

I've always been fond of the story that God created everything, but took little interest in it, and Lucifer, upon watching us and realizing we are living, thinking, feeling beings, went to God and demanded that He do something for us. I've witnessed the technology that the gods have; they know every membrane of our bodies and can manipulate them to their will. If they didn't create us, they have examined us to know every in and out of our structure. I've often thought that I am lying on a slab somewhere, and that this reality is a hologram. But if that were the case, then I might be the only living being, and so I discount that. I've seen enough to know that there is nothing out of reach of the gods, and so I wonder; why do this to me, and why not do more for us? Certainly, curing disease is well within their power. When I think about their technology, and look at our history; how we have struggled for millennium to achieve the science we have, I get angry that we had to struggle for so long to come to where we are. I just wonder how much they care.

Most of what you espouse is imaginative and creative explanations, none of it can be proven by you, or anyone. Your theory doesn't seem to take into account the billion Chinese and the millions of other religious people who aren't going anywhere. For all the talk of a new Age, these religions look like they are here to stay. Even in this era of discernment and individuality, people can't seem to see the flaws in these religions. If you look closely at Judaism, you will find that God does do Evil things, that they say God will be that which He will be, and that He is unknowable. Christians came along and gave us the God of Love, probably because the uncertainty of knowing God and Gods Will was too unbearable. We want a God that is logical, reasonable, and kind, but that isn't the God we have. When I look out at Creation, I see that it is a dangerous place, and that it isn't that kind to us. If I were to create a place for life, while this place is colorful and has a lot of variety, it doesn't seem like the most ideal for us. That means either the God of Creation doesn't care about our problems, or there isn't one. That doesn't mean there isn't a God, it just means that there is no creator God, or the creator God we have is indifferent. Aside from my points on Creation, my personal experience has been that the God we have is cruel and likes to torture people, and is indifferent to their cries of pain and pleas for mercy. This God also isn't an educator or revealer. In fact, it would be better that there was no God at all, from my perspective, and that mankind would learn to govern themselves with reason and fair laws for all people, rather than rely on dogma to tell them what is right.

I don't know what you been smokin, but it can't be legal.

Yes, I mean "the" God. Even if a lesser being did this to me, it was still allowed by "the God". You don't have to believe me when I say a God did this to me, I know the truth. Everyone wants a God of love, and we need that God to keep peace among the people who believe. No mystic wants to think that a God is Evil. I'm not saying God is Evil, but I don't think God has any rules about harming people, or doing things that we declare Evil. I'm sure God does a lot of good, too. I think God does what God wants to do, for Gods own reasons (probably boredom).

This only indicates design, not purpose. We serve no purpose. We are here to experience, and that is it.

There is no cosmic purpose. All that you have been told is a lie. We are under the rule of an immoral God, and there is no promise of Heaven.

God is an idea, an impulse. A hope. God is an ideal, and with it, we imagine the perfect. I know there is at least one God, if not many. I know that there are beings out there in our ethereal minds that interact with us. I don't know if we join them. I doubt there is a Heaven for all of us. I wonder if it matters that there might be an afterlife given that it might not possess free will. I am sad that I don't know more of what the gods do for us, but it really seems like this is all mankind's doing. I feel that we are mostly left governing ourselves. In my life God has been a giver of freedom, and a malicious persecutor of my mind and body. I don't know why. I can't imagine, unless out of boredom, why a God would bother. I sit in silence now and have no thoughts most of the time. Often I am gripped by bouts of grief relating to my condition, and the condition of the world. I don't think I'm a Saint because I don't have any answers. I pray that God is not Evil.

It sounds like an entity or device is attached to your mind, I have that problem. I take Haldol. I recommend you see a psychiatrist and try an anti psychotic medicine like Abilify or Haldol.

We are of like minds, you and I. I ask myself these same questions nearly daily. Why would a God notice me? How could someone so insignificant offend a God? I used to think that this experience was somehow beneficial to me, but after my last bout of psychosis, I realized that it is nothing but torture to me, so why would a God go through all of this just to torture an insignificant person like myself? Who knows.

I've given up thinking there is any Divine Law, or Divine morality, or human morality. I think people just do what they want and if you don't like it, do something about it. I think logically when we are harmed we get upset and we think there is a moral law about it, but I no longer believe in the providence of man or God. I think that we expect civility but the truth is that this rule is easily broken, and we try to govern ourselves with rules that protect us, but in the grand scheme, none of it matters; we are left to our own devices to protect ourselves. That is why I was given over to Thelema, it is God's Will that I see this. Do What Thou Wilt.

From my experiences I can vouch for the idea that there are technologically advanced entities out there, though I cannot vouch for their intentions or power to aid us.

I don't think there is a "nature" of mankind actually. I think we start out malleable and are given everything, so we learn to take. Then, when we don't get what we want to take, we learn to fight. That is the origin of theft and murder, IMO. As we age and get stronger, we do this to a more dangerous extent.

It IS Natural law to kill and steal, and it IS natural law to choose not to, except that our first inclination is the former, until we are trained to do otherwise. The "higher morality" is simply mankind thinking it through, and that is what separates us from animals; the fact that we can think things through, and control our instincts. Is this some God-given power? I would like to think that a God with a mind can do these things, but my experience tells me that God doesn't particularly honor this idea. How did humans evolve past the animal? Who can say. The fact is that we can, and do, but also, do not.

There is no Divine Morality: that means man and animal will do what they desire to do. That means that abortion will happen, murder will happen, theft will happen. These are our natural laws. This doesn't mean we shouldn't enact laws of moral virtue, it means that those laws go against our nature. Do these restrictions lead to the diseases of the mind? I don't know. Crowley would say so. This is the rule of Chaos and Chaos Magick. If you are on the side of Order, that is tricky, for moral choices vary depending upon culture. In order to establish strong morals, one needs to establish a value of rule. That is why I came up with: do not harm another persons health, wealth, or liberty, and should you do so, they are free to harm yours in order to punish you for breaking this law. This is what the West loosley claims to uphold.

I know that beauty is at the heart of the Tree of Life, but I no longer see it as providing an impulse into action. I am no longer moved by it as I once was when I was younger. I see the "beauty" of nature and I think, "Wild, dangerous environments". I see the beauty of the body and I am not impressed. I no longer lust either. In fact, most of my desires are numb now. So what do I find beautiful these days, if not the outward appearance? Safety. Peace. Gentle kindness, not the forced kind; but the gentle, natural kind. I write this here because after all my research I believe I entered the Abyss described in occult places, and have emerged scarred, and transformed. I can't say I am an improved character, for my joy is gone, replaced by a respect for peace. I am no master of magick as promised, but I see the folly of believing in such things. It is true that I have no Will in any direction, but is this an enjoyable condition? It has taken a lot of adjusting on my part, and I cannot say it is more enjoyable than my previous beliefs and ignorance. I am still ignorant, but it is about science, and not life. Some say I am depressing, and I don't doubt that I suffer from depression to some degree, though I am not typically sad, I do have my bouts of despair, which I think is only natural. Through all of this, I say "Go forth, be beautiful! Enjoy your youth and strength, even if you are blind to some things. Worry less about tomorrow and enjoy more the power of today." For age will take from you your strength, and the bleakness of the end of life will come to haunt you eventually.

I'm not going to mislead with promises of Heaven for the righteous. The pains of old age and sickness are very real. Everyone will face their mortality at some point, and have to bear its reality of nothingness, and its finality. Live your life in strength, kindness and beauty and it will be a life best lived, and if anything, rest in knowing that it was a good life, even as the end comes with its frailty and finality.

Dreams are a key to the other worlds. I wonder if we don't have more than one soul, and perhaps show up in thousands of dreams. I wonder, too, if we don't enter a dream world at death. Given how large the cosmos is, it's not without possibility that we are preserved somehow, in dream.

When I say that I may not understand what happened to me, that it might have a different reason, that isn't to say that I don't believe a God did this to me, it is to say that there might be something beneficial about it. I've heard of Saints being tortured. It doesn't make any sense though, and from the looks of things, this has been nothing but destructive for me.

A simple google of Aiwass will tell you what you need to know. Anyway, my point was, and I probably shouldn't have used the animal world to back it up, seems it pissed some people off, but; my point was that I don't believe God plays by rules. I don't believe God is benevolent. I don't believe God loves us all. I don't believe that anything is off the table when it comes to what God will and can do.

Unfortunately there isn't much that can be done for me. I talk about my pain and my confusion but it doesn't help that much. I started coming to esoteric forums because I was given the word "Aiwass" and that led me to the occult, and I had hoped to find answers from people. Lately it has become a place for me to vent my ideas and suffering. I have this deep pain that nothing seems to satisfy. I'm trapped by the consequences of what occurred to me and I can find little peace in understanding.

How can you say my interpretations of my experiences are incorrect? I know that what occurred may not be what I think, but if it makes me feel shitty, it makes me feel shitty.

I'm certain because of how it occurred. There was definitely a presence that interacted with me, and I definitely heard a voice respond to me. After I fell ill, I hallucinated a lot but there was a couple times that I had direct messages that I believe were from this source. If it wasn't done by a God, it might as well be called a God, because of its power. If you had to endure what I endure, you'd be depressed too.

People probably don't want to believe me when I say God made me sick. They want to believe in a God of benevolence and love, and I don't blame them. Who would want to believe in a God that could be malicious and cruel? The fact is that it's pretty foolish to imagine that a God would take interest in someone like me and do what he has done to me. However, based on the way things went, I believe he did. It could be that it was some demon that did this to me, and not "The Almighty God". Who knows, there may be hundreds of Gods out there. I'm writing this because I want to say it isn't fair. When I heard the God speak to me, it was in response to my call for the power to bring love to the world. I was betrayed. I didn't get that power, and in fact, lost a lot of my ability to feel and be love. If God is the God of love, you'd think I would have been helped and not tortured. It isn't fair that I got sick. It also isn't fair that when I tried to educate myself, the demons terrorized me to the point of madness. Again, if God was kind and loving, this wouldn't have happened to me. You could say it was Satan, and that shoe does fit. I hate to think that God is malicious, or Evil. Indifferent perhaps, but not Evil. If it was Satan or the Devil, I wonder why he bothered. I was a simple, small, young and uneducated man when the God came to me. A person of not much notice, comparatively. I don't know why this God did this to me. I've searched high and low and find little to compare to what I went through, though I'm sure there are stories worse. I wish I had just fallen sick, without the interference of this God. Its destroyed my faith in God, and Heaven, and goodness, and love. I've had to climb out of the depths of doubt and fear to find peace with the idea that God simply does what he wants to do. Mine isn't a God of love, or reason. My God just does what he pleases, and in my case, what pleased him was to be cruel to me.

It is supernatural.

I don't think there is a pack morality that comes into play with animals based on co-operation for survival. I think that most animals are docile until provoked, threatened or hungry. They do play at fighting and that can sometimes turn deadly, but mostly there is an inborn morality of peace amongst one another, I think. When I say animal law I mean that we do attack one another for various reasons, and that seems to be okay with the creator. We kill for sport and food as well, and that seems to be okay, because it is natural in our environment to do so. The higher morality of the religions that say "Don't kill, forgive, aid when you are able" is a fabrication of Divine Law that I don't feel is true. This idea that we have to love and accept everyone is not natural.