helpfuldemon

Is the Devil real? Or is he just a scapegoat for the ills of society? It sure seems like the Devil, if God is indeed all good.

Thank you for your compassion. I did have spiritual breakthroughs and then this happened. I know it's not common, all the more reason for me to be unhappy about it. I either sit in silence or go mad. It takes some adjusting and I don't lead an active life. If I measured my life against other people's I'd find my life lacking, but I know there are those, like people with a low IQ, or similar suffering conditions, that function in life. I've actually come a long way. I used to be obsessed with who this God was, what does this God want, why did this happen, what does it do; I no longer concern myself with it other than to say I didn't deserve it. There is no way to answer these questions, hence why I made this post. From my evidence, God is cruel, but I still have hope that these Gods are not cruel to everyone, that it was just me, and that being in love with God provides some protection if not comfort. I've settled my mind that we are animals with the gift of mind and mechanics to rise above, and that we often do not. I used to be in love with our animal natures but no longer, now I see this world as depressing, and all the joy of our animal natures is gone. I pray that there is a world where we aren't subject to these things, but as my dreams reveal, I think it only gets worse in the Heavens. I dream constantly, every time I sleep, and they aren't usually pretty dreams of love and peace. I have no hope for salvation, and if there is an afterlife, I don't think we are aware of ourselves there, so it doesn't even matter. Life in this state is simply eating and resting and waiting and watching people I love die. If I could drink a poison that would kill me in seconds I would. I have no joy in life and my love is dry because of prolonged suffering and the pain and process of these implants.

I'm at a place that is as good as it is going to get. I can be awake and alert and active for about four hours, then I need to lay down for a long time, sometimes for the rest of the day. I can't think anymore, and these wires have me bound so tight that It's like sitting in a straight jacket. Not thinking means unable to change my perspective, or to motivate myself to alter course. Not thinking means being struck dumb on most things, so I don't have much to say. This also affects my balance. You can say "Oh you're just mentally ill, but you weren't in my head when these wires got implanted in a very scientific order. Somewhere out there someone has the powers to do this, and it may as well be a God.

It isn't just that God allows suffering, which is bad enough, but in my case a God caused me suffering, and not just in the "I want to be near you and be part of the family business" sense. This Divine Being cracked open my body and implanted wires that make me hallucinate and cause pain. I've essentially become bed ridden because of it, and long standing in suffering does no one any good, it just makes you weak and want to die.

Suffering at the hands of a God doesn't lead you to understanding, it leads you to either hating the God or fearing the God, and it also makes you realize that the God is mighty, and cruel.

You don't defeat the armies of illusion, you submit to them. You find the truth of life and action and they continue to taunt and torment until you submit to their strength and keep hold of your truth. Life isn't necessarily suffering, but there is suffering in life, and suffering tenderizes a person, and makes them weak if prolonged, thus surrendering to it is the only option.

Yes, that is what I believed, and I feel like a fool for doing so. It has only been in the last couple of years that it dawns on me that it is ridiculous for me to think such things. It was hard to avoid feeling that way, as the God was so active in my life. But now, I see that there is no reason for a God to do this. I have a mental illness diagnosis but I don't discount the interference of a Divine being. Still, how stupid! The whole thing is dumb. There is no virtue in suffering, for if there were, then causing suffering would be Good.

In my life, I cannot say God has been benevolent and tolerant of me. Someone out there in the Universe has cursed me, whether it was God or not, I cannot say, but it might as well have been, for there was no God to protect me from it.

It does little good to speculate upon a God that is invisible and silent. You could say that the Jews are correct and that God revealed Himself to them, but why would you take the word of one person or group? It makes more sense to speculate upon this God and come to your own conclusions. Certainly God doesn't have to be the creator, but it makes sense that there is one, though what we were created for and with what are we taken care of, who can say? It seems that we were made to simply experience life, and we must govern our world by ourselves, for there doesn't appear to be a God of justice like they say. Better to watch animals at play to decide our reason for being. Still, as I said, what good is a God that takes no actions? But, as it appears, that is the case, for there is so much that a God needs to do, especially if He is a God of love.

First off, you need to define what is meant by "Spiritual cultivation". What do you think it is? What does it offer you? How does it affect your perspective? It's a simple enough task to do this for yourself, you don't really need a teacher to tell you what is spiritual. What's your end game? You want to be like a monk? Of what religion? You want to be kinder? That is easy. You want control of your emotions? Meditate.

I too have surrendered. I too have the feeling of knowing life as it is.

We are indeed at the mercy of prior conditioning, and should we delete all conditioning to its essential, we would still be left with basic choices from a set of actions that we cannot avoid. This doesn't mean we don't have free will, it means we have limited free will; we still have choices.

The illusions are the "magick" practices that they do.

There is no mystery in the message of Thelema, it is about doing your Will. The only mystery is the method in finding it, with rituals and mystical processes, all of which are stupid and neurotic, and a distraction, but; they make up a system that gives you something to do. Much of the work that these esoteric systems put you through is rubbish.

I've had to give in to the emptiness/nothingness. It was forced upon me. In order to stop the madness. It's not terrible, whats terrible is hearing voices and hallucinating images in your mind non stop with no rest, and then having them turn evil. I feel like I'm missing out on life, but that is how it has to be for me. My friends get frustrated with my non action and lack of interest in things. Everyone offers ideas of what I could do with myself but they just don't get it; I want to do nothing, even though it is boring. I'm making peace with it now though.

I feel sad for Nungali, he seems to take certain points and removes them from the greater good to promote his bias. He also seems to be convinced that he understands Thelema in a way that doesn't actually fit into its context. If there was such a thing as "True WIll", then we would all be following it and there would be perfect order. That isn't even on the menu for Crowley. He wants people to do what they will so they can get what they want, and it isn't about some sort of altruistic advancement of our species. He thought that if we all did our own will and didn't repress our desires, that it would all even out and we would have order. He isn't about doing good works or being benevolent. I think that Crowley failed at his mission and I agree with Old Bob; Crowley co-opted many enlightened ideas and twisted them for his own purposes. Crowley didn't like Christianity and felt it was repressive. He wanted men to live like kings, doing what they will, and the ones that cannot, will be their slaves. I really don't understand where Nungali gets his interpretation, though I have heard some of it before.

you guys is crazy

Now that I have travelled over all of my thoughts, and formed my opinion on life and morality and nature, I find myself with no-mind. I don't put anything into my brain anymore for fear of confusing my condition, but more than that, I don't think I need to think any more. I live my life in a frugal, solitary way. I was so obsessed with finding "the truth" that now that I have it, it seems like the rest of the world is a bore. I don't read and I don't watch television or movies. I also no longer listen to music like I once did. I don't feel any joy or desire or lust, about the only thing I can say I do is dwell upon nature and all her power, and grieve at how vulnerable we are.

Hi I just wanted to share some of my journey towards my current state. I can't say I am in a happy place, but I feel enlightened and I wanted to share how I got there. Back in my 20's I believed only in love, and that if you did everything with love, you were protected. This was fine for a long time, but then a few things happened that made me realize that the world was more than love. I found myself believing, rather naively, that the world was in perfect order, but then I thought "No! It's all Chaos!" and that is when things started to happen to me that I have mentioned elsewhere on this forum. The reason I say it starts with Chaos is that I believe any serious contemplation must begin here. One has to examine what they believe to be disorder and confront it, to decide if it is indeed out of line with order. We do this because I believe that we want to live in harmony with life and society. At first I found that there were many things that did not sit well with my sense of order, that is when I found Thelema, and learned about Chaos Magick. It took a long time to understand the motto "Everything is allowed, nothing is forbidden". That is when I realized that there was no such thing as Chaos as a force of randomness; everything has a reason, even if that reason is to do something completely random. This helped me to understand and be at peace with life and the goings on of nature and people. I then realized that everything is, and everything has it's consequences. There are things that we do that cause turmoil, it is not Chaos, it is destruction and depravity. Chaos is the fact that the world has free will, and that nature flows unbounded and unhindered by mankind. Chaos is not destruction, but because we have liberty, and nature is unbounded, there can be destruction. So what makes me feel that I am enlightened, you may ask? Well, because I have thought through the options of life, and confronted nature on her own terms, and realized that mankind will do what they feel they will do, I am at peace in knowing that this is the order of life. I am not okay with some things, and a lot of times I despair at the dangers of such a truth, but for the most part I am one with life and it's actions. I have also become a creature of no-thought and no-will. I do not desire, partly because I have been ravaged, and cannot acquire anything, partly because I am silent, and find no interest in most activity. I want to say that I don't think this is the way to live. I think desire is good, and that life needs people that want and do, so that our evolution can continue. Where I am is not for everyone. They say that when you realize this peace that you become a king of compassion, but I do not feel especially concerned for life anymore, I was definitely more compassionate before. I no longer feel emotions with my body, but in my heart lies a great love and concern for life. I would not say that I am not compassionate, it is just that I accept that people make choices and get the result of their actions. I am not overly concerned; I am not seeking moments of aiding people. I help when it crosses my path. I think that to be at peace and to feel loving kindness for all life requires a special mindset, and while I feel that way, I realize that not everyone is capable of receiving love. I do give love, but it is not overly generous or proactive. I am mostly a silent observer, witnessing the goings on of the wild natures in people. I do not judge them unworthy of my love or their life, I simply witness their activity and participate to the extent that I will. Even though I have little ego, they still do, and it is their ego that leads them to their actions, and for that there will be a result.

If abandoning all of the worldly things is enlightenment, and upon reaching that, you are to enjoy the apex of the Universe, what is left for you to enjoy?

That poem is horrifying.

It sounds to me that you are more concerned about your relationship with God than with the Wisdom a tradition offers. Christianity has a specific Wisdom set that is a bit different from say, Judaism. This will also vary depending upon if you believe past the Gospels and into a sect of Christianity. I think it is most important to find the Wisdom that you want to live by and think of God second, because even if God is all of us, that can still fit within a Christian mindset, if you follow only the Gospels. I will tell you my experience and let you decide. I was thinking about good and evil when a spirit entered my body and used my hand to draw out a symbol. I looked into symbols and found a book that said to deconstruct it, which I did, and as I did, my mind wandered onto what I knew of God and life and spirituality. I was told God is love, and that God made the world, and so I translated that to mean that the world was love, and I walked around in love with everything and everyone. As I deconstructed the symbol, I started to receive images which made me rethink my "the world is love", and as I did that, I realized that the world was not all love, and I inadvertently blurted out "You're not the God of love! Give me the power to bring love here!" I then heard a booming but calm and commanding voice speak in a strange language. This was my evidence that there was, indeed, a God. I later began researching symbols and found one that threw open my groin chakra and head chakra. I saw an angel in my mind carrying me up and heard "Chesed, Chesed, Chesed". Then I found myself in front of a throne with a male being upon it and heard "I am the Sephiroth, I am all that is". At first I thought this being was saying that He is the only living thing, but in retrospect I believe He was meaning that He (God) is everything, and so that would mean that, according to what you surmised earlier; we are all God. This is my legitimate experience, take it for how you like. As I said, this can still fit within Christianity, for did Christ not say "Split a rock and I am there"? That means in you, me, rocks, and everything, God is present.

We have earned the trust of the Gods to have free will, and that is the drama of humanity: will mankind do what is right?

What are we really? We are biological machines; androids, if you will, and we are playing out the roles that the Creator has set for us, both in waking and in dream. God is entertaining Himself with our lives.

I had an implant in my right ear. It was a small thing, but when I meditated I could feel it there and it bothered me, so I started trying to remove it mentally in meditation. I would wiggle it around and try to focus over or under it but it was still there. Then one day when doing this something came out of it, like wires. They entered my brain and overtook my eyes and fingers and feet and groin. They attatched themselves to my ability to use my mind to think, and so when I would use my mind to think, the wires would go crazy. These wires have overtaken my entire brain. They have implanted many things. My consciousness would enlarge and shrink, I would have many visions and start to hallucinate. My advice is not to mess around with it.