helpfuldemon

The Will to Power is the Will to do, and in doing, we accomplish and acquire, and in this world wanting and getting is a prime motive. The Magic (and the illness) of love is when it becomes a possession and power with an expectation. For love to be Holy and pure, it needs to be freely felt and freely given. It is when love is a desire that it is tainted with lust and Evil. Desire is the root of all Evil, and it was Adam and Eves first Sin.

These are the philosophical truths that I have arrived at, which began with an interest in occultism, but became well rounded by studying philosophy. I think the occult is just the religiosity of philosophy, as per mystery cults. I suppose at one time that was where new philosophy came from, but I think we have moved beyond that, and I think with Christianity and Buddhism, we have a near perfect philosophy of moderation. Everything else is excess or lawless, and the result is a form of disorder.

Im not using the word Spirit in the sense of a ghost, or some ethereal spectral form, and even if I were, it is still material. Im using Spirit in the sense of a "sense of a thing, or meaning", meaning that it is an intellectual apprehension, and not a material form. The intellect is material, but the idea is not.

Im sure people have lost interest in this post but if not, I was thinking more about how this all happened to me and thought, if at least for my own therapy if not your interest, I would post what it was like to be overtaken by this machine. So as I said, I experienced some mystical visions and then had this horrendous pain around the area where the prostate gland is. Then this terrible crunching/grinding sound in my right ear, and some thing was placed there. For awhile it did nothing but since it was distracting my full body meditations I started to mentally prod it, trying to assimilate it the way I did with other pain. Eventually it came alive, and wires went from my ear to the center of my brain, penetrating the glands there. Meanwhile, my penis and anus were also being overtaken by wires. Eventually my eyes and hands and nearly my whole body had wires going through it. I had a lot of questions so I mentally raised my awareness up seeking answers, and these wires grabbed on the the physical portion of the mind that is thought and devoured my mental voice. Over the years this continued to happen, at one point my entire brain was systematically overtaken as I watched it portion out in even spaces the placement of wires. I thought that perhaps mankind had somehow managed to make the leap to do this and I got paranoid that it was a group of scientists, or aliens playing God. For all purposes, it is God, because this device now had complete control of my body. I watched as my inner mental voice became replaced by other voices making comments and observations, very occasionally offering suggestions. There were times that I spoke to whoever was doing this to me and they reacted to my ideas and things got worse. At one point I was trying to sleep and I had a dream that some woman with a device entered my spirit realm and said "God sent me here to torture your thoughts". Another time I was being asked who I was and how I came to them, my head being at this time totally ripped open, and the words came down from the sky and had a physical form, and entered my brain and I mentally heard "I have done all of this because I am God." This device became very complex and I was constantly assaulted by hallucinations for long stretches that lasted months and sometimes years. It was only recently that I started pleading for it to stop (youd think this would be the first thing to do), and some of it got lifted from me, but it really ended when I realized what the cause of our actions are, and a voice said "You know enough". now the wires are still there, and they still change position, but my whole head is fully penetrated and activated. I find that I have to take deep breaths to balance myself as I sit in the grip of this thing. I have control of my thoughts now, thankfully, and I practice not having any, though as I continue to try to understand, and still have the want to make art, I force myself to analyze. Really this device has overtaken my ability to critically think, and now I am of no mind and no spontaneous thoughts arise. Its boring, I dont desire anything, I need to sit silently for long periods, but I feel healthy othwerise.

People will want what they want.

I believe the meaning of life is the experience of it. Life for lifes sake. I believe that God created Nature and Man, and that Man should not turn a blind eye to Nature when considering Gods design. I dont believe God has any Laws, but He did set forward rules for the elements to combine to create life. According to the Laws of Man, if Nature had Laws, then it would not be destructive, but destructive it is, and so Man must make their way among Nature, and one another, to live as successfully as possible. This is when Man develops their own Laws, Laws that do not conform with the Laws of Nature, to protect our longevity and security, so that we can live and experience life. There have been many prophets that have come to illuminate us on how to do this, but I believe that God thinks that these truths are relative to the assumption of what is right, and that mankind has always made those assumptions, and what is right has changed throughout the generations. Personally I understand a set of Laws that provide for our security and prosperity, but these were not given to me, I had to decide on them, and I believe that this is where Mans free will comes into play; Man has the right and the freedom to decide what is best for them.

What follows are songs of joy and sorrow

From this vantage point, one is able to produce Wisdom that will protect us from Nature and one another, and develop a civilization that operates in peace and efficiency without doing harm to peoples health and wealth and liberty.

Yes I have been in this state, it is the culmination of understanding- one simply does. In order to get there, depending on what one wants to understand, requires a lot of study and contemplation, experimentation. First you have to defeat the false Ego, should you not agree with it, and more importantly, develop the true Ego; the one you desire to become.

Wanting to assist in people acquiring their needs is still wanting. It still brings pleasure to see your Will being done. Non attachment is only good for protecting ones self from the inevitable end of whatever one is enjoying. The downside is that it creates apathy and that might lead to cruelty. Better, I imagine, to want and to appreciate what we gain, and protect it, nurture it, and die defending it. Some of what you are suggesting is submissive, and in life there is power and dominance, and submission and acceptance. Which is more satisfying is up to you, but in the end, the strong lead and decide on the choices available to the submissive, and someone needs to be dominant and make decisions, and lead. Is it struggle and suffering? Yes, this path is more difficult. It requires intelligence, courage, strength and creativity. It is why these people get rewarded. The reward for the submissive is a mild, less dangerous life with less conflict. Pick your poison, the submissive dont get to enjoy the rewards of wanting and acquiring as much as the dominant.

Change comes from people wanting and doing

And so the alternative is to not want? And what is that like for you? Is it cowardly to reject desire and responsibility? What is the idealic life with your method? Does it provide for a better society and civilization? Is it enjoyable, or is that just the point, that it shouldnt be? Is it worth living? What has value from your perspective?

We are nothing if not beings that consume and feel. Selfishness is the act of doing these things, and brings us comfort and delight. Consumption is endless, and as I said, if you are low on opportunity or resources you might find yourself suffering from the absence of getting what you want. The alternative to this, in selflessness, is to not desire, or to not take pleasure in what you are doing. How do you go about finding joy and pleasure in life? There are many ways. Certainly we have no guarantee that our efforts will produce what we desire, but in the act of accomplishing them, and learning how to accomplish, there is pleasure- the bonus being that it produces what you desire.

As someone that has had to watch as his mind got devoured and polluted, I realize that our minds are a fabrication, material, and subject to material laws. Though I believe that the source of mind might be infinite, I have realized that when the body is gone, and the mind has stopped, what we really are is the ability to perceive in whatever vehicle we possess. I have wondered if this spec of ourselves that animates is immortal, that perhaps it moves from vehicle to vehicle, but have decided that this is too optimistic and unverifiable. So what is left is this life, in all its mortal glory, and what we choose to experience. From this light, selflessness is an undesirable condition. While it is true that the more self you possess, and the less opportunity you posses cause suffering, it seems illogical to deny ones self from finding joy and pleasure in life.

If enlightenment is the experience of no self, or nothing, I dont believe we can live in that fully, but perhaps partially. We are ever in our selves, but we can view the world from no self, or from not self, and witness and experience life in a different point of view. Still, we are ever within our bodies, and so no self is impossible.

You can walk peacefully and do what is required, accepting what comes, or you can struggle with the challenges of desire.

The world is so much of what it is. And what is it? If you don't pay attention to it, it is nothing but what you create. Should we pay attention? What power do we have over things that other people do? What power do we have to affect what our governors do, the price that people set for items, the wages that they propose? I live in the underbelly; a coaster, a liver of life- but am I really living my best life? I have no responsibilities. I am not a parent, or a tax payer, or a laborer. I have only ever been a servant. In my free time I used to create, but not any more. My life was on course to be unique, which I may be- but then, so is anyone. I thought that I would be inventive, but it was cut short by the supernatural. What did it give me? Suffering, and it opened my eyes to what is around me, but... what is REALLY around me? Quiet neighbors working their jobs and raising families or minding their own business. Art is available, but is it life? Does it really imitate life, or does life have it's own plot? The news programs make us think that so much is happening, and perhaps it is, but is it your life? What do you do when you don't participate in the culture that is shown on television? Are we simply chasing someone else's dreams? I am a demon; we all are. The part of us that is demon is the mind. The part of us that is human is the flesh. We are sensual creatures that know what we enjoy. We employ our bodies in the act of securing our comforts and needs, but it is our minds that explain what we do, and it is our minds that plan and prepare us for new events and activities. What is our mind? Is it telling me "I want"? Is it telling me "I must do"? Is it seeing the patterns of life? Is it preparing us for our future choices? When one is not in charge of anything, and one is not part of anything, our minds are our playground. I wish I had become someone in life. I never thought that I could, never knew how to do it. I am a poor boy, with little education. I matter to few, and what I do matters even less. My opinion is not important, and neither am I. I have learned that the true life is not in the realm of ideals, it is a matter of compromises and questions that provoke new alternatives to handle the ever expanding, vast process we call civilization. I wonder... what should matter to me? Should I try to alleviate suffering? Should I try to educate or entertain? In today's world it is almost impossible to do these things without joining some establishment, and I have no credentials, and my talents are unrefined. Does anything I do even matter? You might be thinking, "It matters to you", but it really doesn't; nothing matters to me. I am a broken thing, my youth and sharpness has been wasted pursuing some phantom quest that proved to be a false lead on a fortune that I did not find. I am a wasted body, filled with decay from my excesses. My reach goes no further than the toilet in my bathroom. And what should I do, now that I "know"? Now that I finally understand life and it's terms? Everywhere I look there is an opinion, or a story, or a song about life and it's trials and choices. What good is my voice, when I have no refined talent to reveal and inform? I am just another opinion, in a sea of opinions and compromises, and stories about right and wrong. I spend my days sitting silently. I sleep often, and I find little joy in anything to distract me from this path. I have stopped reading, because reading is an endless task that will never be satisfied. I find that I do not need information, and I wonder why so many people do? Is the truth not simple enough to understand? Or are we on a constant quest to renew or distract us from it? I have no excuses, I have lived my life. It was not spent selfishly, but it was spent wastefully, and I thought I enjoyed what I pursued, but so much of it has been a suffering condition put upon me. I am out of faith. I do not have to hope. The world is what it is, and it turns as Nature intends, and as human beings decide. It exists without my influence, and it is indifferent to my condition. If I gave up my ideals I could pursue the laughing path of madness that I see, and contribute to the story line of good and evil, but to me it is so much chaos. I have no need for money, nothing I buy satisfies me. I am a hideous thing now and will draw no lover, even with wealth. And even should a lover come, I find no pleasure in intimacy of the body or the mind, for there is no one in this world that I have met that can satisfy my expectations of who a person should be. I am not of the talented class, and so I will never know anyone that is intriguing, exciting and concerned. Perhaps if I found success I could enter those worlds, but as I said, to me it is all chaos and stories that we keep repeating; there is no new lesson, just new ways to reveal it, and I am done being creative. Perhaps my sharing this moment with you will rebirth me. I see possibility as I write about my despondency.

I agree that all people are not equal, but that does not mean that all people dont deserve a fundamental set of basic rights and opportunities. From this basic set, one can rise into power, and earn whatever other freedoms that money and fame allow. Is it fair that money and fame help people attain more privilege and opportunity? In a world where the effort and quality of labor needs to be rewarded, it only makes sense that the ability to pay for it garners one this advantage. There could be an argument that fame does not deserve to buy opportunity, but this is a matter of personal preference, so that the person granting the opportunity knows the person of fame and is inclined to trust or appreciate them rather than dealing with someone unknown. It would be hard to regulate this trade and really, it is unfair, but its only natural.

And so that is your definition of enlightenment, and I wonder... where does this lead? Some could say that it leads a person to doing anything they like, for none of it is them. The opposite might be true; a person might not find any attachment to anything and so do nothing. I believe that this state brings a clarity to our environment, and the understanding of what matters, and the fact that people are snared within a set of ideas and wants, which I think is the actual true condition of life. From this vantage point, one should be able to help navigate the world and its needs/desires.

In what you quoted, I had a hard time understanding what he meant. Is he talking about actual dreams and waking states, or is this an allegory for thought and awareness? If hes talking allegorically, it doesnt sound like hes really defining reality, which I suppose is good, because each person must do that for themselves. So what is his technique for coming to know? Enlightenment is a tricky, stupid business. I firmly believe that as people go about their lives that they already know, for the most part, but have no evidence that they know. In order to be convinced that what you are doing and what you understand is actual, we have to have proof. Success is one way to have that proof. Mystical revelation is another. In the end, the person simply has to settle on the fact that they do know, and go about their business.

Hi. I wanted to post a reply to you because I feel your pain. A couple of decades ago I believe my kundalini was provoked. If you read my post in the occult forum, I describe it as wires entering my penis, anus and plexus, and brain. I think it was kundalini because there was a snake that rose from below and up to my brain and it took a big bite. This serpent ate my brain and body and my sense of awareness rose and fell, fell very far down, and it destroyed me over and over again. Its been Hell, lots of hallucinations, lots of physical stuff, and no one can explain it to me. I dont really understand the purpose of it all, though I have watched this serpent overtake my glands and now, finally, the torment has stopped and Im in a static state, I think it has regulated my hormones. I dont see this as a positive experience, Ive had to fight for understanding, and it was only after I came to understanding that the voices said "You know enough" and took away the part that was causing hallucinations. I dont have an answer for you. For me, I had to study philosophy and contemplate meaning and reason in order for it to stop. I wouldnt say I was that ignorant to begin with, but it took 20 years to prove to these Gods that I now understand, and in retrospect I dont think any of this was that necessary, as truth is small in a big world of Will and desire.

I agree that this is an observable rule, but it isnt the type of Law I was referring to.

When I think about the Nature of humans from an animal perspective, I realize that there are no laws when it comes to desire and hunger and shelter, but as we have minds, I recognize that the mind is what has enabled us to rise above our animal condition, and when I think of God, who I believe is not just an idea, but a reality, I recognize that we have been blessed with minds to protect us. As God is mind, and above our condition, I think about what our minds might be best suited for, and I realize that this is all about civilization and survival, and so I have decided that God loves duty and kindness best, for those are the most excellent attributes of mankind that lead to our survival.

So in otder not to get this device to activate, I have to breathe with my gut and my mind in unison and not think too stressfully with my brain, otherwise the wires get agitated and it hurts

You could definitely say that this demon reversed my growth, as it thoroughly destroyed my faith in what I knew, forcing me to recreate what I knew. I say it was a challenge because what Ive learned is that as I grew to knowledge, it lessened its activity. One more thing about what its like, in case anyone has read something about this. My brain is connected to my loins, penis, anus and groin. My thoughts go in and down rather that out and up. Out and up is where the voices live, so I dont seek up and out anymore. All my thoughts go into me now.