helpfuldemon

I dont understand what is meant by duality of subject/object. An object is just a thing, until it is examined or interacted with, at which point it becomes something known. If the object is known, it is not a subject yet, until it is interacted with or spoken of. The only dichotomy I can imagine in this scenario is when our interpretation of the object contradicts its purpose or intention.

Im in a strange place. I have lost interest in nearly everything. I spend my days sitting in silence. I feel no desire, and it takes an act of Will to force myself to read, or to do things. I feel like "If youve seen it once, youve seen them all" kind of attitude towards life. Joy and sorrow, war and peace, desire and rejection, desire and injustice, desire and acquisition. Happily ever after or tragedy, its all the same story. I have been through so many phases in my life. I once lived joyously, but now nothing brings me joy. I once loved to be among people and making friends, now I find no need for that. I still love people, but they dont give me what I desire- which is strong emotional connections and the ability to take me seriously, and to laugh at the same time. I dont want to say I am depressed, because I think that a lot of people live in this sort of mundane reality. Compared to my previous incarnations, I am depressed, but it is not a sadness any more. There is no weight of worry now, but there is a weight that keeps me low. Im finding that I have to shed my old selves and embrace this new one, that doesnt need to interact with anyone. I think I am going to resume my painting career, pay attention to making art.

In the beginning, things just are. It takes experience to find that things arent that way- and that is when we start to compare them, and decide on the idea that there is duality. There is no duality, things just are- and as it goes, things arent.

Theres a lot of reasons why benevolence isnt shown to everyone. First you have the random Will of people to do harmful or disruptive things, things that people fear and dont want to be exposed to. Once someone does something harmful or disruptive, a prejudice is formed against people, especially of that type of whom caused the offence, hence you have bigotry and racism and discrimination. Another reason why it doesnt happen is because people have the liberty to pick who they want to interact with. I know this sounds obvious, but choice is probably half the reason why people dont extend good will and kindness, also being affected by the previous statement. I used to befriend everyone, until I got sick- and then the sickness made me bedridden and I stopped taking care of myself, lost a lot of my teeth and put on a ton of weight, can no longer appear attractive. Now it seems that no one wants to befriend me, and Im too exhausted by my illness to befriend many. What I found was that I met a lot of people of varied levels of intention, education and wildness and mildness- but since I wasnt actively taking control of who I interacted with, I wound up with people with addiction issues and generally bad dispositions on life and people. Perhaps all people fall under the latter category, and it takes getting to know them to reveal it.

I have to admit that my benevolence doesnt extend outwardly in a way that it could. I wish people well, but I am not overtly friendly and kind to people I do not know. With people I know, I am more actively kind.

We do actions, some of them are good, and some of them are evil, but they do not have to have one or the other to compare for them to exist. Actions can be good without having an opposite; we declare what is good because it is good, not because its opposite exists to define it.

It is possible to disassociate thinking from reading and speaking. I actually find it more of a challenge to think when I read, but not when I speak. Internal speaking when I read... Ive experienced that but I think that state is harder to attain.

While I would normally disagree that it is the lack of power that creates benevolence, in my case it is true that I lack power, but that isnt why I am benevolent. I dont think that power means you have ill will, I think ill will is from a lack of power a lot of times. The only time power should mean ill will is from the need for righteousness and justice. Im sure there are stories of this not being the case, however.

That depends on who is assessing my perfection. If I am the only judge of it, Id say that I lack certain skills that are required in this life, but that my overall perspective is perfectly in line with todays world. However, todays world is not perfect in accordance with my vision of a perfect world.

I wish I was filled with anger and vengeance. Ive been thinking about law and justice lately and while I think I have it sorted out, I cant say I experience any kind of injustice, except maybe in the light of not being befriended by the world, which is, naturally, the way the world is. I guess you could say I want love for all too, but that isnt the case and since its not the case, I give up. I have to submit to liberty, and letting people choose who they love, and what they want to do with their lives- im no tyrant. Ive submitted to the world, probably a little too much, having submitted to the fact that there will be war and murder and bigotry and discrimination and prejudice forever. Can we curb it? We can try, but I think its inherent in our condition and until we all have the same education, wealth and opportunity, it will always be divisive. We should all know better, but somehow we dont, at least that is what the media leads us to believe, and the actions of people can back that up sometimes. On the ground, things are mostly fine- except as I mentioned, people choosing who they want to love and rejecting or ignoring those they dont.

Ill go first. My heart is filled with benevolence. I want nothing but happiness and prosperity for people. I also pray that all people find the mind to do what is just. My heart has had more than its share of sorrow and joy, and at times it has been proud and lustful. I am not those things now, as I have reconciled myself with life. I understand the story of life, I see what it is with a clear mind.

It seems ridiculous, what happened to me, to get me to think and become aware. It was definitely of mythological importance, but really, it was meaningless, and unless I finish what I began, of no value to me. I was a free spirit; a wanderer, and artist. I lived for the now and I enjoyed a semi wild life of sex and love and art and friendship. I never aimed higher than my next canvas, and figured that if the stars were in line, I might create something worth keeping around. I was foolish, but it was my life, and I loved it. Then the God approached me and I chose to listen, and I really can say that it was a glass half full. Theres a lot of ideas out there about astral initiation and spirit guides, and a lot of ideas about superstitious things- things that I was forced to contemplate and seek, because the supernatural took hold of me and it was beyond belief. In all of this I can say that there are creatures who will communicate, but not in a conversational way- you have to investigate their ideas, and they can be relentless. Ive seen many insane, somewhat marvelous things in the spiritual world, and I cannot say I understand it all. I want to say that what I endured has won me something, but the only thing I won that I know of was more wisdom and knowledge, and for that I had to endure a living Hell. I cant tell you how many times Ive been hospitalized, often not knowing where I am. Ive faced death so much that for a time I was numb to it, and to life- no longer the free spirit, but bound to a Hell I didnt ask for. I used to think I had depression when I was young, but I have had more sorrow in the last two decades that I went beyond depression, to anger, and then to submission, and now to peace. I stare life down now, and realize that it is quiet- if you want it to be. You pay attention to the news, and can get up in arms about whats going on but, is it doing anything? At the end of the day all you do is vote in November. Unless you are someone of position, and I am not, it makes little difference what these people do. One thing that kept me alive through all of this was the thought that I would one day write something encouraging for the world- no longer a painter, I thought I would turn to the pen, but I see that this is a task that has been going on for millennium, and its as if there is a force in the world, lets call it youth and ignorance- that prevents us from mastering the things I would like to see happen. More than that, some people simply cannot do what I hope should be done, out of exhaustion or poverty. Somehow some of this manifests (no thanks to me, for now) and I am grateful, but when I look at people like Donald Trump, I lose heart in the heart of our people. Ive come to realize that people will do what they do, and that all I am able to do is contribute to the world of ideas and hope that they find mine, and that it is good. Or, I can retire, and I deserve to, after all Ive been through. I guess my point is that we are told that the Gods will assist us, and all I came across was madness, and opposition. Better to just keep your head down, live your life and enjoy it.

I think it depends on what youre reading, and how much contemplation you want to give what is being said. Some authors are very dense, and each phrase is important. Other authors (like Nietzsche) keep banging the same drum with their rhetoric over and over. It also depends on how much you know, where if you know a lot, then youre already familiar with the subject matter. Ive gone from speed reading to literally having to digest each vowel to understand. It depends how seriously you are taking your learning process. I have a friend who can quote things and spout out many theories but none of it matters to him, he isnt changing who he is for anyone. Some things can be very moving, making you refocus your goals and knowledge.

Again, things like this happen to unattractive people all the time, yet there is no conversation about how we regard homeless people, native Americans, overweight people, people who dont speak English correctly, disabled people... black people arent any more special than these others, or are they?

Desire was the original Sin of Eve. It was her desire to eat the apple, and to be like God that was the sin, not rebellion.

I experienced a series of supernatural events that led me on a quest. I didnt have to give up art, but the quest became all consuming, and left me with a lot of ideas, but no answers that satisfy.

To me racism has to include discrimination and unfortunately people hate for all kinds of reasons. All kinds of people are discriminated against all the time. Its unfortunate that the color of someones skin automatically includes certain preformed opinions that we term racist. The same is true on the reverse side though. Racism gets all the press but what about discrimination against over weight people, or poor people in general, or unattractive people, or uneducated people?

I used to be a painter myself, but gave it up to pursue a deeper understanding of religion. I always thought id get back to it, but I havent. Back then I liked modern expressionism/abstract expressionism, but since then Ive grown to appreciate more classical art. My friend was in Europe at a museum and sent me a photo of a painting of the gods and the demons waging war with an older fatherly figure in the center holding the crucified Christ. I really like that one.

What exactly is meant by living in duality? To me, spiritually, it means saying one thing and doing another, for a duality is composed of contrary thinking, is it not? So, how are people stuck in duality?

Im currently in a phase of non attachment/non desiring, and it wasnt by choice, exactly, except to say that I have renounced worldly things as being dissatisfying or out of reach. I was never much of a go geter, and never acquired much, but I had my wants and they were satisfied, and part of my initiation was that people need to be satisfied before they are willing to contribute, for what good is a life unfulfilled? What Ive learned is that it is good to want and to get, and there are things worth having, and things worth keeping and protecting, and this talk of non desire is foolish, and I think it is from a different Age, where it was harder to get what you want. Also, in the wanting comes destructive means to acquiring, and that is another reason I think non attachment was spoken so highly of. We live in a different world now. As far as my life goes, I can be at peace with non wanting non having, but I dont want to be, but as I am unable to do anything else, I have to choose to embrace it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvjUnqBYeTA

I dont think the GD has a one truth, I see it more of a series of tools that can be used to discover and develop truth. Thelema has it too, to some degree, but like you pointed out there is "one truth"- the truth of their prophet. The Rosy Cross is a great tool for developing an understanding of your fundamental idea.

There is no duality, you can have good without evil. We only compare the two because they are opposites. They arent reliant upon one another to reach understanding.

God gave us all the impulses and opportunities that we possess, even the evil ones. Its up to us to decide what is right and wrong.

See, I dont think greed is Evil, though I think in the name of greed, Evil can be done. I dont think lust, gluttony, sloth, vanity is Evil either- but again, in the name of these "sins", Evil can be done. Evil is opposition or harm, harm to another persons health, wealth, property and contractual arrangements. Good is helping in these areas. Its that simple, no sins to worry about other than the sin of harming these things, or standing in the way of a persons rights to acquire them.