Paradoxal

You're definitely not the only one to experience whatever it is, but symptoms can manifest in different ways for different people. This is especially true for illnesses of the intangible. Another possibility I forgot to mention in my previous post is that of demonic influence, though I am not skilled enough to check on you to see if you're under it. That said, I'm sure someone on this forum is skilled enough in projection to check.

In the Yellow Emperor's Classic of Medicine, they mention wiry pulse patterns, but I don't believe that this is what you're looking at. If it felt concentrated enough to be physical, it's possible that it was a somatic symptom, but I don't know enough to fully recommend anything in that regard. Quite frankly, to me, it feels like you have too much unmanaged stress combined with untreated underlying traumas. Speaking from a psychological perspective, there are no mental illnesses that manifest without stress, so it would be good to lower overall stressors and learn coping mechanisms to deal with stress. Yoga is a rather good coping mechanism, as is physical exercise. Emptiness meditation, martial arts, anime, and reading are my coping mechanisms, though everyone has their own fit. If western doctors and therapists cannot find anything substantial, go see a TCM doctor.

There is no pleasure without suffering, nor is there suffering without pleasure. The choices when dealing with suffering are to use one to counterbalance the other, transcend both pleasure and suffering, or to simply cease both.

What you are looking for likely refers to auras in terms of "magic" rather than "physicality". I've had experiences with different "types" of auras, though I do not have the eyes to verify them myself. The ones that Qi Gong generally deals with involve the physical body, whereas what you are describing is something else. "Soul Color" is what best fits the description in my experience, but that is only my own theory. Perhaps it refers to the age/maturity of the soul? I'm not sure. https://www.auraology.net/colors The above website has somewhat accurate descriptions of the different colors, but I wouldn't put any trust into their bit on the "anatomy" of the aura, as they are mixing that color business with actual physical auras. That said, their information on the colors matches what I've found elsewhere. Unfortunately, I'm having trouble finding the original source in this regard, so I assume that it no longer exists or has been buried by bigger names. That said, most people of any type of color would not even be aware of their own color, let alone find a group of others that share that color. It would be delusional to think that there's a club of "blue only" people, or any other specific color. Said colors can even change throughout the lifetime, as one matures, though this is somewhat rare.

If you were one of these people, would you truly want to identify yourself as such to others? To me, if I were a blue aura as you put it, it sounds rather "creepy" if I were to have someone look for me simply because I had a certain color to me. It's like those that only associate with certain skin colors or search out trophy friends, no? It would seem to me that such people would rather go about their lives simply associating with whoever may come their way and not care about others of the same kind.

The magic I practice is not ritual magic, but the art of making things happen without motion. Controlling the weather for the day with a thought would be a good example of it, but it's easiest to think of it as a soft luck modifier without the need for physical action. It doesn't require journal-ing, nor do I keep records of spells I cast or techniques that I learn. I've actually never kept a journal for anything, ever. It's one thing that's just against my personal values. I'd like to leave very little proof of my existence, if at all possible. Well, that's becoming less and less possible with each post I make online, so I may need to reconsider that value. Indeed though, my house is not exactly clean. It's cleaner than when I started, but definitely not "clean". That said, I don't think it's at the point where it would cause this process to stretch like this. The only other thing I can think of is contamination in my energy, which would be a bit harder for me to notice, but I do not think is the case given the fact that my internal energy has only risen since starting and my external energy influence has stayed steady with slight improvements. I'll look it up, thank you! A lot of my issues with cultivation are in the fact that 20+ years of work was covered in a 6-hour seminar, so I've definitely got holes in my process. He did cover both micro and macro orbits, but I did not recognize how important they were to open until after I'd already had my fire rise, so I'm paying the price now.

First off: thank you for the reply! I may not have been clear in my description, but I am already at the point of being able to use qi from my dantians. That said, I was not familiar with the idea of not being able to manipulate energy from them without intent, so that is a much appreciated point. Does that mean that it is impossible to apply acupressure/acupuncture to the dantians directly? Would this mean that external healing/attacks on the dantians are impossible? I've not tried to mess with someone else's dantians before, so I would not know this from experience.

I see said past as being instrumental to forming the person I am now, and thus do not lament it too much. I'll probably go see a TCM practitioner once life stops giving curveballs, assuming the symptoms persist. One mistake I have made in my practice was underestimating the importance of the MCO, so I haven't actually worked on opening it until less than a month ago. After beginning on my MCO, a lot of my other symptoms have ceased being an issue, though the purging still seems to be happening. I'll give it a week or two to sort itself out and proceed accordingly. Much thanks for the input on here!

To clarify, are you speaking of the indigo children? If I interpret your question correctly, you are referring to the "soul" color, which is something of a scale of someone's spiritual development over their many lives. Indigo is near the most mature, with only crystal being able to contest in terms of sensitivity, but crystals are often rather fragile. I would assume a large amount of people on this forum are either blue or indigo, given that daoism is a method to develop the soul, though I am not aware of any sort of special club for those with these characteristics.

Stuff leaving the body through excrement triggered by energy work. If you're asking for specifics, it's hard to exactly describe it, but it's like the sweat is thicker than normal? A massive level of exhaustion, quite a few headaches, B/O problems, allergy-like symptoms. It seems to happen the most after using my cultivation technique, but does sometimes happen after microcosmic orbit or turtle shell breathing. From the research I've done, this should be a pretty standard thing when building a foundation, but I've never heard of it lasting for more than a year before. That said, very few people have been on the level of psych-meds that I've taken throughout my life, so I wonder if the extended length is par for the course? As a small example, at a few times throughout my childhood, they put me on enough experimental medicine to make me forget how to talk. For most of my school years, I was taking enough medicine to stunt my IQ by around 40 points. I had issues with going berserk (blacking out, screaming about killing people, and attacking anything in sight; it took 5 grown men to hold down myself as a fourth grader), and none of the western medicine was really doing much to stop it. They removed me from said medicine around the time I turned 20 due to potential kidney and liver failure. After I started studying magic, I found the "cure" in that it was an issue with the amount of energy I had naturally combined with some negative influences, and after removing those influences, I've was relieved of said issue. In addition, the summer that I begun cultivation proper, I had accidentally overdosed on gout medicine to the point that the doctors said I was lucky I didn't have total organ failure. Funny story there is that I overdosed on Thursday, went to the ER on Friday, left the hospital late Saturday night, and went to the class that taught me the basics on Sunday. Fate's strange like that, I suppose. That was somewhat of a tangent, but I believe it is sufficient to explain the amount of contamination I started this journey with, as well as reasons for said contamination and symptoms of detox. On the bright side, with each day I practice, I can feel my mind becoming more and more agile.

After posting this thread, I asked Sifu this question as well (I hesitated to ask him, as he typically encourages self-study). He laughed at me and gave me a similar answer to yours. From my limited experience, I find this to be most likely. The dantians are already in the body without practices to create them, but practices allow them to assume the form required for this kind of work. I've been reading a mix of classics and more recent works, on top of what Sifu has taught me. Thankfully, I seem to have a decent comprehension of the texts, given they are lining up well with my experiences, but I'm sure I'll keep learning new stuff about things I thought I understood. Luckily, I have quite a bit of free time, so I can dedicate more time to practice than otherwise. Thus, I will keep practicing what I have been taught, and will continue to learn more while I can. Thank you all for the responses and input; it has greatly helped me!

It is natural to fear the unknown, but with kundalini, it is counterproductive. It won't permanently go away, nor will it "give up". If it cannot complete its job, then it will remove the obstacles preventing it from completion. This can manifest in bad luck, bad health, mental issues, physical issues, etc. The more you attempt to avoid the kundalini awakening, the more hell it will give you. Take the time off and go through the awakening. It may suck as you get used to the new status quo, but it will be much, much better than attempting to avoid kundalini if it's already woken up. As for advice on getting through the awakening with as little bumps as possible, I highly suggest practicing zen meditation. The basic gist of what I practice is to get comfortable, clear your thoughts gently, and focus on the feeling you get while breathing. It can and will change at times, and sometimes you'll end up not feeling anything, but the main point is to gently clear your mind as much as possible and allow your body to do what it needs to do. Other than specialized meditations, the keys are to listen to what your body "needs". You may feel abnormally tired, if so, sleep. If you do not feel the need to sleep, then do not sleep. If you feel that certain foods just don't sound good to eat, even if they are foods that you used to love, then try something new. If you get bad feelings about certain people or things in your life, then try removing them temporarily and see if things improve. The awakening doesn't need to take months, let alone years. Those that end up dragging it out do so because they fight against it, instead of cooperate with it. Become like water and simply flow without fighting.

I'm not entirely sure on *how* it works, rather, I know it's worked for me on experience. The book I learned it from described a squared circle as an impossibility, thus the symbol for it generates energy, but I'm not exactly sure if that is actually why it works. Various geometric shapes have inborn effects on the world around them, (circles create "worlds", spirals create vortexes, etc.), so I assume that it's another one of those key shapes. That said, it does make sense that if energy gives rise to form, that form can give rise to energy. Easiest way to explain it would be that form is Yin, while energy is Yang. They will always attempt to keep eachother in balance.

Ah, no, no, I am familiar with what the upper dantian is, I've just never seen it abbreviated like that. Niwan and Muddy pellet are other names for the same thing. That said, I clearly am still lacking in knowledge if I didn't recognize that UDT was upper dantian, so I'd be happy if you were to provide the relevant entries here. Much thanks again!

Before posting my reply, I had already googled a few terms similar, but the one you suggested there did answer my question. Upper Dantian, correct? Much thanks! In that regard, I actually do know of one exercise that potentially cultivates it, but quite frankly, I would also agree that it is dangerous (potentially even self-destructive). From all the literature I've read and things I've been taught, it's usually best to start with the lower dantian, because it will work its way up on its own. I am still much a novice, however, so this is in no way a 100% declaration, rather, echoing of my own limited experiences combined with what I have been taught.

Forgive my ignorance and slight sidestepping on this matter as well, but what does UDT stand for?

From my experience with western magic, it *is* possible to create an "energy" generator via patterns, and the simplest of which (from my experience) is the symbol of the squared circle. That said, the energy generated from those patterns does not seem to jive well with the energy used in cultivation, and it attracts rather pesky entities if you leave it be. You could likely use it as part of a larger formation if you figured out how to generate, gather, convert, and purify the energy, but I don't think that is something easily done without a lot of research.

First off, thank you for the reply! Water fasts are something I did before I started cultivating, though I stopped due to my energy consumption during cultivation. What kind of stabilizing practices do you suggest?

Much appreciated on the welcomes and links to the rules! I have anonymously lurked around quite a bit on here before, as I've found answers to many of my questions in threads on TDB. The main things I seek is food for thought, possible solutions, or resources to check, though I'm happy with any responses I get. I've been taught to learn everything I can, afterall.