Lucky7Strikes

Yup, I still have a lot to purify, but it feels as though someone's handed me an indestructable vajra or rather I've become it myself . _/\_

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You are approaching things too conceptually. See the very habit of conceptualizing . To nowhere, from nowhere, not here, not there, a fearless openness to what is.

Well, I don't really "see" anything anymore. . Everything upon arising, liberates itself. If you don't see a single awareness, then there is no experience of unity. I'm not saying there is a single awareness or a dual awareness. Then you are holding onto a substantial view of reality or material things. Or material experiences. I think this is due to clinging too strongly to "no-self" teachings. Although these words sound contradictory, it is as close words can get to describe the experience: openness, ungraspablity, unity, spontaneity....the emptiness of mind, the openness of the heart, the pure creative expression of all. I'm not saying I am enlightened or anything like that. I find that my current state of experiencing things feels right and feels liberating, and feels cannot be transcended any further because it is transcendence itself. Of course, I might be wrong, but I don't know what right or wrong anymore. I don't see anyone, me, awarness, or anything anymore. I hesitate to write "I AM", because it is distinct from experiencing the certainty of being. It's rather the uncertainty of being.

There is no longer a concept of anything. Everything feels to be in a let go. The moment you think or label, "this is the way," "this is the workings of the cosmos," "this is letting go" you have yet put up another structure. I had an incredible awakening two weeks ago and everything about my body's energies was flowing in reverse. All this new knowledge of the cosmos started cramming into my brain. I couldn't sleep for 4-5 days and the bliss was incredible. I was breathing at an inhuman rate, and barely ate. But then my mind began to restructure this experience into concepts like "dependent origination" "yin/yang" "interdependence" and basically all the spiritual concepts that had been lodged into my brain. Basically, I couldn't let the raft go. I had all this indescribable compassionate energy flowing through my body, my heart was pulsing in my stomache, and passing out momentarily during meditation. I was so thankful, felt so blessed. But the desire to "know" the universe was still very strong. And when that structuring process began to resettle, my view returned to its duality, but now I'm beginning to really understand, not know and not see, but be the Way.

Yes I agree. Consciousness is awareness that is bound to a thing. Such as the eyes, the body. It is the false light. Awareness is not produced, it is obscured by its own confusion. If you tell me that awareness is dependently originated, I want to ask you "how do you know that?" How can anyone know that experientially and not conceptually? I'm not making any ultimate in and of itself statement. Experience is ungraspable. So is truth, reality, or any structure conjured up by the mind. Strip everything naked and you are left with a boundless luminous creativity/expressive feeling. All this talk of cosmos being like this, being like that, and I'll ask you "how do you know?" From books? From a guru? From a vision? Now you are bound to a memory, a experience, a structure. Throwing away a structure for another structure. There is no inherent way this universe "is." It is unknowable. Even the desire to escape samsara is meaningless. Or attain nirvana. Or to live beyond death or birth or cycle or not cycle through rebirth. You have to cut everything down to its bare spontaneity and openness. Let go, let go, and in letting go, no mind, no thought, no me, no you, no universe, no reality, no structure, no fear, no non-fear, not even this or that, continual transcendence in this very moment.

He needs to see the emptiness of the sense organs. That they are nothing but like dreams imagined by the mind. One's experience is far beyond the mere sense organs. That is just the state of being human. I can't agree with this. "Infer" awareness? You ARE awareness. Cannot perceive awareness? Perception IS awareness. There is no need to infer or anything like that. Experience is directly! Let go, let go, let go, become the let going. Then nothing bounds, not even reality, not world, no anyone, not yourself, no view, no truth, no Buddha, no demon, no book, no doctrine, no fear, no knowing or unknowing, Nothing! A free wanderer in existence, not knowing origin, cessation, now, or ever, in an eternal play, one with its very nature, freely roaming the winds, no future lives, no past lives, no depedence, no self, Self, interdepednece, enlightening anything that comes in its way!!

The Bahiya Sutta is a teaching, a way of practice. I don't believe it is indication of the enlightened state. Seeing is ungraspable, one shouldn't experience in terms of seeing, eating, feeling. That is a way of understanding, but not the final state of liberation. One should understand the unfindeabilty of "seeing, eating, feeling" then there is seeing, eating and feeling in a dynamic play. But the difference is really beyond words. No, I am saying that whether awareness is dependent or non-dependent in its very existence is unknowable. (but in regards to its contents, I do see the application of dependent origination) You cannot know it, and in my point of view, it is important that one accept th mystery of being and abide is the ever openness that result from it. There is a tendency for seeker to try to ascertain the exact way of things, and when that effort goes too far, we fall into logical structures that are arbitrary to the very experience of what is right now. No I don't agree with awareness being a containment, everything IS awareness, because ultimately that is the only thing we can ascertain about our very existence. It's not even being certain, it's about being stripped naked about all our attempts to construct a model of reality. Not even Truth or ANY structure bounds, there is no one to bound, the liberated one is nowhere and ungraspable, everything is experience as a dream! I might be wrong, but when one is thinking "there is this process" or "there is me interdependent on something else" one inevitably takes the experience of this very moment and attributes it to another factor. It is a subtle duality of "part" to a "whole." Conceptually, I think this is good, but experientially, one even has to let go of this notion. One doen't feel process, one feels boundless expression. Creation for creation sakes, a fearless openness. So yes, the close we can get to this in words is: "just...sound of phone ringing" then gone.

How do you know this? An experience cannot be seen in its interdepedency. This is only inferred through logic. Moreover, what is interdepedent, according to your sense, does have a origin in time. As in in your sense of the word, it does originate, it is born. "new phenomena of itself inseparable from all other conditions but without an external origin (like ear, speakers, air, etc)" This sounds purely conceptual. Are you saying the phenomena and conditions all arise simultaneously? If it is simultaneous, then the next moment must also be simultaneous. We have two simultaneous moments now. Where do we draw the line between these two simultaneous moments? Are they all simultaneous? To the first question: no. No it is not the I AM insight. I AM insight is dual, it categorizes experience into Me vs. phenomena, purity vs. imputiry, etc. I am speaking of awareness. .

I don't think that is the luminosity I am speaking of and experiencing. There is a bounded experience of luminosity, and a boundless, unrecognized, spontaneous luminosity that is the essence of all experience. It is the expression (it is not expressing, it is the expression). Yes, the clinging comes because one has approached practice with the intentions to attain a state of union with a Godhead or something like that. Constant transcendence! Liberating all things that come into view! It becomes one's nature. .

The recognition of one's self-nature, yes, I agree, rises dependently on the teachings of the dharma and past cultivation. The contents of experience also arise dependently. But awareness does not arise dependently. If it arises, then it means it would cease, or that it has an origin, which is false. I can understand that it is interdependent, as in, there is matrix of reflective awareness beings, but to me that is still conceptual and moreover believe it is unproductive to continually (although it is good as a process) to attribute everything to something else, always saying to one self, "this, from that, that, from this." Rather the establishment of this and that must be transcended altogether.

Feeding, but feeding is no where to be found. Just feeding then imprint of feedings, and so on and so on....

He can feed you though .

The I AM is the characteristic of experience that always is. The emptiness is the ungraspable character of that. Luminosity as all pervading essence, like what everything is made of, the emptiness is its naturem like the sweetness of peaches (mmmm ). The terms become confusing once one tries to identify these aspects in experience which is foolish. You can't find the emptiness of phenomena, you can only experience it directly and realize it directly. You can't find I am ness of phenomena, you simply are. The mind cannot hold these two concepts at once, of movement within stillness and stillness within movement because it's function is to construct and label. You can only experience it so. Just rest in the openness of things. As for the feeling of interconnectivity, I don't know. It feels like everything is interconnected not because one knows one thing is caused from another and so on, but there is a sense that nothing really "belongs" to anything, not even any such thing called a mindstream (I don't even know that term is necessary, because even though everything seems to flow, when the perceptions throw time out the window, it seems like life is an expression rather than some living thing in something, just pure creativity). I breathe in and I feel the universe collapsing into my view, I breathe out and I collapse into its view. Like having sex with the universe all the time. :lol: Everything is like a reflection on reflection on reflection, but this is still conceptual. I haven't experienced this directly. .

Can you show me where this point exactly is?

Yes, I find this to be true too.

It's not much a tightening but a suck in feeling. I don't think reverse breathing should be forced until it arises naturally from abdominal breathing.

is there an enlarged version of your avatar? Can you share the link? Thanks.

Don't try to control the lust, but rather accept it with an open heart. If you try to control the fire, what you are doing is guiding fire with fire, which produces opposite results. Cool the fire with acceptance and relaxation. Opening through water requires an element of surrendering to that energy. The reverse ejaculation is speaking of energy and not the actual semen. The body's natural mode is to preserve it's essence and be in a harmonious balance between your lust and a feeling of compassion associated with that (which is kinda like, hahahah this sounds cheesy as hell, love).

I'd recommend contemplative meditation/vipassana or kundalini yoga, or tummo breathing.

IMO, people should practice both, but also put in more effort towards their weaker aspect, so someone who is withdrawn should practice more external meditation, and someone who is outgoing should turn their focus inwards.

from my experience, the MCO and tummo practice (one sort of leads tot he next) both take the yin yang polarities of the body and releases it through alchemical union at the heart, the non dual center of the central channel.

There is no foundation to lay. That is so that you can see the mind. Just realize the character the way of the mind. How is it? How do we experience? Not what, or who, or why, just see the how. Once there is the turning around of the light, everything else happens like a torrential downpour!