Hi everyone,
Found this forum when I was researching to get my head around what I'm actually looking for and what would be a good fit. I'm pretty new to all this stuff and would love for some thoughts on how I can best go about setting up my path.
The first question (which I am finding it more difficult to answer than I expected), is what I'm actually looking for ...
A few months ago, I felt like I had some clarity that what I was looking for was to cultivate self-mastery so that I would naturally live in a healthy and purposeful way.
This was preceded by what could have been a mild period of depression which thankfully didn't have too much of an impact. I say this because I had been spending a lot of time building up a gaming YouTube channel (and actual gaming) and decided to go cold turkey as I got quite busy at work. Hence I was left with a bit of a void.
Filling in this void, I started spending about 2hrs daily learning the form of Chen taijiquan, zhan zhuang, and some simple meditation practices. Fast forward about six months and this is where I am at. I still feel like I am still seeking for a similar goal as above, but it feels more cloudy now. Not sure if this is because the 'how' seems to have many different paths, or it's me having cold feet, or something else.
Anyhow, to frame the paths I am contemplating, a bit of information about me:
I'm in my 30's, married, living in Sydney, Australia, and working in the corporate world and have had a real draw towards personal development since I started working which has intermittently involved martial arts and meditation.
In the past when I was really pushing to a specific goal like a promotion, or 'looking good', I found myself in the downward spirals of depression, anxiety, etc on multiple occasions. Took time of work to reset, and the repeated the same cycle.
After one particular cycle, I went on a health retreat and was first exposed to some qigong.
Later, I wanted to to combine qigong with martial arts, and did an internal style of Wing Chun for a few years. Perhaps it wasn't the right teacher, or perhaps I wasn't ready, but on reflection I was taught a lot of theoretical nei gong type things but I never really 'got it' and don't really have much to show for it.
I've also done some 'Vipassana' (the 10 day Goenka style one) which helped my body awareness and ability to observe. I make a point of this as prior, I felt like my awareness was really lacking.
For whatever reason, I think I've always had this conception that I needed to combine physical exercise with internal exercises (eg martial arts) but I am naturally drawn to the more 'internal' type stuff. There is then a contradiction that you don't really learn the internal stuff without first doing a lot of bodily work in the martial arts I've been exposed to.
I have to admit that right now, I don't have any strong burning desire to reach enlightenment or such. There is a sense of curiosity shrouded with unknown and a wonder of if that's my calling. I saw a post that was refreshingly candid from @freeform along the lines of (well this was my takeaway anyway... if health/being happy is the goal, then other things like dance/socialising/other 'human' things, etc can often be a much more direct and cheaper path).
So what I think I am looking for right now is to test and learn both neigong and taiji to see what works best for me, and where I want to focus my efforts that's going to nurture my health and sense of purpose. I'm open to other options, but these were the main one's I have shortlisted after some (limited) research.
From a neigong perspective, I was considering:
1. Signing up to Damo Mitchell's program (lots of theory content, I like his style, comparatively cost effective)
2. Signing up to Adam Mizner's discovermind course (can't find much info/reviews on this?)
3. Signing up to @小梦想 neigong course (decent reviews, will get more 1:1 guidance)
From a martial arts perspective, I was considering:
1. Signing up to Damo's program (synergy with his neigong stuff, best bang for buck combo)
2. Signing up to Mizner's online taiji and possibly the HME group classes in Sydney (get hands on instruction, higher level taiji than Damo)
3a. Private/group lessons with Chen Xiao Wang's son, Yingjun (expensive, but get in person instruction and corrections). @Earl Grey - I think you're in Sydney from your posts. Did you ever try Chen taiji? I checked out your Sydney teacher as well, but for some reason, I didn't quite connect with what he teaches.
3b. Private lessons with Yingjun's student who charges very little. And then later move to Yingjun.
From a value perspective, giving Damo a trial run for a couple of months seems to make the most sense.
From a gut feel perspective, I'm leaning towards 小梦想 and 3a (which when I chat with wifey will probably end up being a 3b).
Would love some thoughts and probing questions to help me on my way! Thanks in advance.
