Pacem92

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Everything posted by Pacem92

  1. Passionate and disorganized

    Hey guys, I've been reading this forum for a few months now and there's a lot to learn here. Unfortunately this is such a massive amount with all the references to teachings, teachers, books, sites and practices that I don't know where to begin. Briefly about me, I will be 30 in the winter and work as a surgical technical assistant and in an apprenticeship as a non-medical practitioner. I'm very familiar with western medicine, but I'm drawn in a different direction. I'm familiar with simple meditation, sitting and stillness, I started 5 years ago and at times it's like "falling" into my body into an extremely dark, like pure black, timeless, silent space. If that happens, 40 - 60 min can easily pass, which feels like 15 min. I meditate while sitting on the floor, I can do the lotus seat for a long time without any numbness or anything else, because I often sat in this position as an child and then crawled around on my hands and knees. I also stretch regularly, I can't do splits but maybe one day. When I started meditating, I only knew Wim Hof and Tummo Meditation, and that's what I did, meditating outside in winter in shorts, cold showers and ice bath in summer, breathing exercises and so on. That all worked well, I also started to feel the heat that eventually came up in the lower abdomen even without the breathing exercises sometimes. Then life intervened, marriage, child, building a house, further education. As a result, I "only" meditated silently. Every day, but the deep states have assumed, probably because of everything that seemed more important at the moment. Now everything has stabilized and I'm sitting here with many books I've devoured, a number of forum reports and Videos. I understand what it's about, but there so many different ways, I just don't know which way is the best for me to go, or I don't know in which direction I have to start. I may have read too much and there was too much rubbish, you can hardly google the word m**ai anymore, unfortunately this video by the Blair brothers is the driver of a lot of searching people for it and it also fascinated me. However, that's not my goal, healing one time but this also far away. I've seen a ton of births and it sucks that not a single child came with an instruction manual. We literally don't know how we work. Had these teachings ever been lost (and there are probably thousands) it would be impossible to stumble across them by accident. My question to you is, have any of you found an operating manual? Joke Learning theory has become a passion, I love reading as much as some people tune in to Netflix, and I'm glad it's so much in this topic. That's something I can do. But, I would like to start with practice. Since I've been so drawn to the subject, I've been practicing the Wuji position as described by Damo and trying to let my mind sink in my Dan Tien while meditate. I'm also learning Qi Gong and getting to know exercises from this area. I have no idea if that's korrekt, that's my problem. how I should spend the first few years of practice? I mean the practical exercise. In other words, how did you start the practice? Thank you for reading!
  2. Passionate and disorganized

    Thank you all so much for the advice and information! I had already looked around and considered going to a teacher. Unfortunately, that would still be online for me, I live in central Europe and in my immediate vicinity and everything within the possible distance for regular meetings is not available here. So the information comes from someone "on the internet" anyway, but of course I understand what you mean when you say I need a trainer. Thank you guys!
  3. Passionate and disorganized

    Of course, thank you! I don't mean the heart, I mean the mind, our consciousness (not quite right but maybe in other words?)
  4. Passionate and disorganized

    I've read this so many times, but only now understood it 🙈 Thanks!!! That's exactly what I mean. How do you affect what you cultivate by not focusing on anything? Is this what is meant by saying letting the mind sink into the dan tien by its own weight?
  5. Passionate and disorganized

    I am happy about everyone who tries to support me and I am very grateful for that! I try to translate your language also through other translators, into other languages and in single sections to get the gist of it. Everything okay. Hope it works My goal right now is not to get back into those deep states unless it's part of the training and it's good for me. I want to get a feel for my Dantien, build it up and take care of it. Build a foundation. I'm currently learning a lot of theory about all this, but I lack the courage to choose a path in practical training. I read very often that someone did something wrong, which led to the training having to be interrupted or even stopped. For something that comes with decades of training, that's a terrible fact. I'm very disciplined and curious, making a mistake that prevents me from progressing in such a stunning area would be torture. Of course I've read a lot of approaches on how to get started, but there's no comparison when you read through a lot than when someone who is already there shows you the way where you want to go.
  6. Passionate and disorganized

    Okay, thank you for the answer! That probably means that my approach is not the best :/ I regret having found this topic so late. Unfortunately, I have absolutely no opportunity to establish personal contact with someone who is familiar with it and could show me how I should approach it. We don't have many TCM doctors, and many of them are more fake than real TCM doctors. Some people who offer acupuncture here have never heard of Dan Tien and that's a very sad thing. These "doctors" may have held one or two seminars on where and how to prick the needles. With no heart or mind behind it. So the simple silent meditation is useless for me? I don't quite understand what you mean by stubbornness. Because of the lack of knowledge when I started? I am happy to accept any help and would be happy to have my opinion corrected. I don't have problems with correct my opinion, because that's how progress work. At the moment I don't have any opinions, because I just don't have the background information. I wish I had a little instruction on how to start now, that makes me more flexible in this regard because I'm open to help. But maybe I misunderstood you. Do you have any tips for me on how best to start and avoid mistakes? Thank you for your feedback!