Aar0n

Of course there are nights and mornings that I have an erection but it's very rare, and it's only like after I stop watching porn for a few days, I'm sure I get erections while I'm sleeping though, so I guess I'm ok, the fact that bad practices like that can damage your body to such extent is so scary to me omg, I remember that day, scrotal compression almost made me pass out, I don't know if you can heal that with time, I think it's possible, but the thought of that gives me anxiety, because you see in my country and culture nobody really knows about this so if somebody were to damage themselves with something like that, it would be over, they wouldn't be able to find somebody to guide and lecture them, so I gotta be grateful with all of you guys for helping me and reassuring me that things are ok and guiding me through the proper way. I leave you with a picture of the GOAT!!

Well, I don't have any belly pain, or nerve damage, and my reproductive system is fine, I can get an erection if I want to, I don't have morning wood yet as I'm trying to reduce my masturbation frequency and my porn consumption, because thanks to fucking Mantak Chia's dumbass dangerous teachings, after practicing the kegel exercises and stuff since I figured that squeezing hard during ejaculation wouldn't let any liquid out (but of course, having a retrograde ejaculation after) I just kept doing and doing it for like everytime I had an orgasm, and so my addiction got worse since now I didn't feel as much loss of energy and so I could go again and again or just last a long ass time (like 4 hours) while ALSO watching porn, so I effectively just fried myself hahahaha but it's ok, I'm starting to reduce and decrease all of that little by little, I'll try to not watch porn ever again, and about masturbation, I'll aim to keep it so I do it once a week minimum, I think that's healthy in my opinion, and I spent a lot of time feeling down and not feeling happy or fulfilled with life but it was just because I found everything boring and stupid thanks to porn, but I'm so happy that I still had an opportunity to change!, Life is beautiful, even with all it's stresses and challenges, so I learned and I'll just move on, I used to think semen retention was the absolute truth but I'm not even going to lie to you, I'm a teenager, it's hard as fuck, my hormones are going crazy, and the least I can do is to stop watching porn and avoid a masturbation addiction, so yeah, I came out unscathed from trying out mantak chia's methods, they were risky but thank God I stopped and realized what's really realistic for me.

Do you know any good online teachers? Like some that I can look up on youtube or something, i dont know, but that's just in case if I do get back into meditating, I want to do things right if I come back to it

Ooh so that's why things happened how they did.. by the way, last night I slept really well, I'm ok now, the insomnia is gone.

Hello, my name is Aaron, I'm from Venezuela, I'm 16, well, so this happened; 2 days ago I was trying to get back into meditation after having a bad experience and a really bad scare honestly because of mantak chia's taoist secrets of love book, this incident happened october 12th, and what happened that day was that I had really bad anxiety and insomnia and I couldn't bring myself to sleep after practicing the big draw and the scrotal compression shit, anyways, in like 3 days I was back to normal to having a normal sleep and ever since then everything was good, my sleep quality was top notch as I dont drink coffee or take my phone to sleep with me, thanks to the guys in the forum, I understood not to practice without a teacher. But as I said, 2 days ago, after having an intense excellent 1hr exercise session from 6pm to 7pm, I did my post exercise stretches, and when it was time to go to sleep, I wanted to meditate, because I wanted to make it a habit, I have had a bad experience with meditating at night since the awareness and focus I felt wouldn't allow me to transition into a good night's rest, but after the incident, I wanted to check if something was different, of course, I DID NOT do the practices mantak chia promotes, NONE OF THEM, I avoided them at all costs, I didn't force anything, in fact, I only paid attention to my breathing and became inmersed with each inhalation and exhalation, without counting, of course I'd get thoughts here and there but it was just a mere 8 minute session, and while I was doing it I was telling myself things like "It's ok, you did great today, you trained well, you ate well, you're going to sleep at a good hour, it was a great day, however, it's time to sleep, so all you gotta do now is to relax, and rest." and then I did some deep breathing and I said alright time to sleep, I was not meditating while my back was on the bed, I was sitting half lotus, but anyways; After doing that, I had some difficulty sleeping, and I was getting a bit anxious and worried, but I kept my calm just like last time, but honestly, facing the same situation unintentionally again, I had this app on my phone called Medito, where it's basically just guided meditations, there's a lot of guided meditations to choose from, gratefulness, sleep, focus, whatever, I went to the sleep option and I picked "Winding down for sleep" which was just a 8-13 minute session. I did it, and halfway through some crazy shit happened, there was nothing forced of course, the meditation just told you to relax completely and release all tension from the body, some deep inhales and exhales, and by the end it allowed you to let your thoughts take over and allow you to sleep peacefully, while this was true and I felt very relaxed, my mind just went through some shit, or at least thats what I felt it like, so basically I'll explain to you what happened, and why I'm planning to never meditate again because this left me scared and I don't want it to happen anymore. I want to sleep well. When the part of deep inhales and exhales came, I felt really relaxed, so relaxed, It felt nice and all, but what felt out of this world was what happened shortly after. My head, I don't know, I felt a crazy surge of energy and it felt like getting pulled and I got scared because I'm like what the fuck am I about to get knocked out or something am I about to pass out?, so basically I kinda let it happen, and so it happened, and my head felt so hot, idk, I put my tongue up the palate just in case, pretty sure that does nothing, by the way, I'm laying on my back as this is happening, then I felt tingles and a slight cold feeling close to my dick and navel and I had an erection, and then yeah, that's my experience, I was so freaked out. After that since I obviously was anxious because I had no idea what happened and having in mind what happened October 12th, My anxiety kind of got the better of me but I still tried to reassure myself, so basically, I felt my head hot as fuck, and then I said well I'm going to take a shower since I didn't take one that day and I felt sluggish, took a cold shower, its like 12:30am, and the cold shower managed to cool me down and my head didn't feel as hot and I felt better, felt more confident I'd sleep well, I didn't sleep as much, but I slept 6 hours, but yesterday I slept only like 1, and yeah, I'm kinda worried right now, I saw somebody say something about yoga nidras in my october 12th post, but honestly that night I really wanted nothing to do with internal arts, as recommended by people on my last post, instead I did some stretches while listening to a entertaining video (yes, i took my phone to sleep, because if I didn't i have no idea how I would get past the night), and the stretches felt good and I felt very relaxed, I felt confident that I could sleep, but I didn't fall asleep, even though I'd try to sleep as I did (normally, just lay down, let thoughts carry you to deep sleep), so well, I'm there like damn, this is repeating itself again, and this time it's unintentionally, but anyways, it's going to be alright. Today is the third day after that, I exercised today, and oh my god I was so sleepy throughout the routine, I did just the necessary stuff but nothing more, didn't feel like it, plus, I don't want to injure myself, I stretched after, then I took a cold shower, ate lunch, then watched a neymar documentary on netflix to relax a while. Haven't slept anything but I have high hopes that tonight I'm going to have an amazing sleep. By the way, I feel even more anxious when I feel my heart beating while my body is all relaxed, so I try to take my focus out of it, it's just like last time. I don't think I'll sit down in half lotus position and observe my breathing ever again, I'll just assume my training sessions and the stretching is part of my meditation, plus, this shit is complicated, there are so many styles of meditation, many paths, so many routes, it's scary for someone like me, I never expected that this was going to be this deep, I saw meditation as a way to exercise my focus, but this shit getting too far now, I don't want to be an insomniac everytime I want to meditate, so I'm considering never meditating again or take a really long long long break from meditation, like years, I don't know, but that's how things are right now, I believe and have high hopes I'll get out of this situation, it's very inconvenient but hey, you learn from these things.

Update on my situation: So.. last night I slept like a baby! I slept my full 8 hours of sleep, no nightmares, no waking up in between, smooth repairing sleep, so I guess I'm alright now. I'll still be taking a break from meditating and that stuff for a while, but I'm happy that everything is fine now. What I did was: I tried my best to not think about Qigong and not relate everything I was going through to it I kept my faith and believed everything was going to be ok Exercise and not running away from my responsibilities to take away my mind from anxiety and worry, and also to kind of just, exhaust myself so I could fall asleep faster On the nights I had intense anxiety, I kept my peace and faith it was going to be alright, and I slept with my mom, but you can just listen to a podcast or a relaxing youtube video or whatever, I don't think watching something until your anxiety is gone will help you, the point is to relax yourself Thank you everybody, I'm alright now! If I do come back to practicing Qigong, I'll do the correct thing (seek a teacher) and not repeat the same mistake again, this was a great life lesson for me and I learned a lot from it. Thank you!

I figured that I'm unable to sleep at night a bit because of shortness of breath, so last night I just relaxed and I fell asleep just right! I slept like 5 hours and that's wayyy better than 2 days ago, so I guess it's going away easily and wasn't anything too serious, I'm not planning on meditating again for a while, I'll get back to it after I know that I've been good and normally like how I used to (my meditation used to be just deep breathing or just counting breathing from 1 to 10 then again for 20 minutes or so) Edit: The "cold sensations" near my navel are gone, and last night I could sleep just fine because I realized that the reason why I got anxious and stuff was because I was waaay too sleepy and so I was falling asleep faster and I didn't adjust my breathing so I felt out of breath and then I was awake again, I know I was too sleepy because of the twitching of legs and stuff when you're entering NREM sleep, I'm feeling no pain and nothing hurts and my attitude has been just fine! I'm feeling like how I used to before any practice and the only thing that seems off is just the fact that I have not slept fully haha, it's all good now!

Hello, my name is Aaron, I'm a 16 year old kid from Venezuela, I was on a journey to limit all distractions so I could focus more on my studies and stuff, and in my journey I wanted to control my sexual urges and stuff so I could quit pornography, and so I stumbled upon Mantak Chia's "The Multi-Orgasmic Man" and "Taoist Secrets of Love", I started bit by bit doing the practices, and they worked for a while, then one night, it was like 2 a.m; I was practicing the big draw and I guess I successfully did it because my head felt hot and so I moved the energy down to my navel as the book said, but then that night I really didn't sleep much, I had forgotten the warning about to not do it at night and stuff, and so I'm like ok it's alright, I went to sleep at 6 a.m. after practicing the big draw for a while, and then went to sleep to wake up at 8:40 a.m. because I didn't want to miss breakfast and I also had to do some other stuff, so you see, I'm not planning on practicing anymore for like 2 days because I'm thinking that the body is trying to adapt to this new energy, and then like 1 or 2 days later after that, I go ahead and do a cool draw, then I'm going to do 13 scrotal compressions (my high score), and then suddenly, at the 6th or 7th scrotal compression, my head felt overwhelmed and so I'm like alright this is it, something happened and I'm not feeling too normal, and I was right, that day after doing that, I felt on edge and I felt like random cold sensations on my navel and my back, kind of like just the whole microcosmic orbit, but it was automatic, and it was scaring me because I had never felt like this, and so when I go to sleep, I'm having crazy trouble falling asleep, I'm getting cold sensations, when I am completely relaxed I get cold sensations near my navel, and so I'm like this is definitely not normal, I made a mistake, so I'm like damn ok what can I do, I try rocking my spine back and forth and stuff to see if it's just blocked channels, and nope, so I just go ahead and sleep with my mom because I'm really just feeling on edge and actually just trying to relax and not try to think about it too much, after a bit of research, I find out that Mantak Chia's system is fucked up! And that Qi should never be forced! So I'm like damn that's the exact opposite of the big draw and well almost every major practice in that book, and I'm like ok then but I want to see now what can I do to like fix this, I'm not even like getting suicidal thoughts or doing dangerous shit, I just have crazy insomnia when I go to sleep at night and I feel cold sensations near my navel and stuff, I can sleep during the day, afternoon naps, I feel refreshed and really well after taking an afternoon nap, and I only feel relaxed after like 4 a.m. at night! So basically from what I've gathered that could help me is - Forget everything about Qigong, stop all practices and stop worrying about all of that stuff and keep living my life relaxed - Exercise is good, I do exercise very regularly so I'm good with that, same with stretching, I exercise for about 2 and a half hours really well. - Seek help from a person who knows accupunture or a herbalist (This is super difficult and a bit expensive for me because of where I live, Venezuela.) So I'm currently just doing my regular exercise routines, my post exercise stretching, I definitely do not feel anything weird or strange during the day, just a bit of exhaustion because of sleeping too little. I do not have social media, I do not drink coffee, or smoke, or do drugs, or chronically masturbate, and I'm in the process of quitting pornography (I'm almost there let's goo!!) I'm a healthy kid, I do not stress or worry or complain too much but I made a mistake practicing this spiritual exercises from books and not from an actual teacher!, Anyways, I want to see what else could people from the community aid me with to overcome this temporary adversity, all I'm hoping is that no permanent damage has been done and that I can return to how I was before practicing anything. By the way, I only practiced testicle breathing, microcosmic orbit, scrotal compression for like 20 days, everything smooth, and then I practiced the big draw and now I'm in this little struggle, but I have faith that everything will be alright and I believe that I'll be alright by stopping all these practices and never again reading any books about spiritual things like these instead of seeking a teacher, I'll keep living life relaxed, and I just want to sleep again like how I used to