ChiQiGuy

Jumping late I to this. I see all things that vibrate with energy to be alive and part of consciousness. There is no separation. It is only perception that changes. Like story telling. If you dive into any characters viewpoint and vibrate with them on their frequency then they become the protagonist of their story. Even if they are "wrong" in every choice or decision that they make which makes me see it as there is no wrong. Overall, it appears to me, that perception is the only uniqueness that exists. And when that perception completes its cycle it is the "death" we all lament. I did a lot of research years ago into life after death when I lost my childhood faith/religion. One thing seemed consistent across all of it. The "Me" that exists is solely there to expand experience. Even if something appears to have no uniqueness on the surface it's very existence is unique. All possibilities can exist and potentially do exist and that is the joy of it all. That seems to be why any of this exists. I could be wrong and am always excited to find out more.

Thank you for clarifying. Being new here and the way you worded it there was a strong implication that there were some culture based details I was not understanding. Knowing that you were working from a private conversation does help to explain that confusion. I do wonder how members will be able to connect though and brainstorm anything without a thread that is visible enough for us/them to meet on. Private messages don't exactly fulfill that requirement since they're private and they would not know about it. Would you mind sharing something about how things like Horse stance does this healing you speak of? Could you clarify what you mean by not good? Attachments get created if there is an obsessive attitude about it. Unfortunately in my experience just forgetting something does not eliminate it's existence. There is no trauma in my life that has been able to released without some form of acknowledgement. I do see that being able to acknowledge those traumas and going back to address them has been easier when turning my attention away from them for a time. But it never eliminates them to just ignore and forget. The body (physical and spiritual) remembers far more than our conscious mind can maintain. I sincerely hope that you're right that the scars will fall away on their own and I won't notice.

Looking back at the forum terms: "You agree, through your use of this service, that you will not use this bulletin board to post any material which is knowingly false and/or defamatory, inaccurate, abusive, vulgar, hateful, harassing, spam, obscene, profane, threatens or incites violence, invasive of a person's privacy, nor of denigrating and/or erotically suggestive avatars, signatures, links and pictures, or otherwise violative of any law." I can absolutely see this as being interpreted as defamatory. That is absolutely not my intent and I never took anyone else's posts as being such. More importantly I, and no doubt many many others, have a lot of issues that arose due to being alone to deal with everything that happened during and after being on that forum. I only saw this as being an opportunity to work through those and perhaps find a better understanding of what occurred. Speculation can often be a powerful tool for breaking down and understanding. That being said is there a better forum or space to discuss these things? I imagine that there aren't any places where people from that group could meet and process and heal. Members that were banned were isolated and that did not allow for contact outside to continue. Seeing your comment was disheartening. I am new here and have not yet acclimated to how everyone conducts themselves and I absolutely appreciate you speaking up as you have. I am taking this as a kind warning that I was participating in misconduct. Thank you for this heads up and reminder.

I'm beginning to think that is entirely why he was doing the Energy Transmissions (ETs). Give them some extra juice to entice and keep in line. EDIT: If you're draining your group too much then they won't have energy to participate willingly or not. So give back a little so they can regenerate faster. Positive mentality is more productive in the creation department than a negative one.

@Zhongyongdaoist I'm curious to see what your information gathering discovers.

Thank you for your comments. Honestly I tend to forget details so I don't get overwhelmed in the long term. It took some time for me to get through all of the comments on this thread and some memories were coming back. Toward the last 6 months of me being there on the forum I remember the coven being introduced to the forum. They came in with guns blazing and making posts that STG would have never allowed previously. Most of it was sexual in nature which frustrated everyone there. For a bit they calmed down after he "talked" to them and things got kind of back to normal but they were still very harsh and very difficult to talk to. Often it felt like since they had STG's sign of approval due to us needing the Yin that they were running the forum. So the forum energy ultimately changed in a way that was not quite right compared to what it was before. I left when the last forum he created demanded $50 monthly fees and I was getting tired of hearing so much negativity about there being no good entities out there which don't have the selfish attitude he kept saying they all had. Claims that it is only a dog-eat-dog universe just never sat well with me. If that was true then why do nice people exist? sigh. I had been feeling like I had joined a cult for over a year at this point and just wanted out. I was in the "advanced" cultivator forum due to my constant journal posts and effort. In the second year I was pushing 4+ hours a day doing the techs. LDT activity was so minimal that I could not tell whether I was actually developing an LDT or not. The constant night time emissions draining my jing (as it was called there and probably a misnomer) I really never seemed to ever build up enough energy to do anything. I always felt drained. Just reading the comments before mine is confirming that we were just being drained purposely and apparently I was in the advanced group simply because I was a prime source of energy. It was frustrating and has created a sense of "I will never accomplish anything" mentality that still plagues me today. Some of the main reasons I had stayed as long as I did was because of the energy transmissions he would give, the techniques, and the camaraderie between us cultivators since everyone was so active. I keep being drawn back into cultivation no matter what I do with my life. I actively tried to forget everything about it for the last four years. Just focused on mundane life. Now that I'm working to cultivate I'm feeling reverberations of that lack of trust in myself. Oh yeah, he would always talk down about this forum. Part of why I haven't joined until recently.

I came across this post when a friend linked me to it. I was in LMP for 2 years and reading this brought back a lot of memories. I was messed up for years after and I still feel energetically different than I did before joining. I learned so much but at the same time how much was actually usable? How much is trash and how much is really effective. I don't think I'll ever know. I just want anyone that was a part of any of that to know that my heart goes out to you with your healing. I've only recently started feeling like I can meditate again. Or even try cultivating the LDT. Or concentration. Or just bodily stillness for peace and healing. There was quite a lot of energetic fallout that I experienced after leaving that I'm not quite ready to go into details here about. I don't hate anyone that has ever caused or will cause me harm over my lifetime as I feel everyone is in a place that is uniquely shaped for their learning as a soul. And I just hope that we can all grow from all of this. That being said my heart breaks over the trauma that has come from it and reading the details of things I didn't see or experience while there since I am a male..... I just don't have words. I never felt good about referring people to the forum because I always felt that something was off. It really wasn't until the last couple months before I left that I started to really get a glimpse at how dark things were. I saw red flags the entire time and just found ways to explain them away. The enochian stuff was something I just never felt I should even consider touching and didn't. Not directly anyway.

I'm coming here finally after many years of considering. I got into meditation sometime in 2012 and have been pursuing spiritual growth ever since. Very interested in internal alchemy. I hope I can find a space here and be able to learn with you all.

Thanks 😁. I tend to read a lot of stuff so recalling the finer details on what words mean what or where what originates from where gets lost on me.

Thank you!

Thanks. It was more of a play on the British word Cheeky (chiqi). I usually come up with very bland boring names and was quite pleased with this one. EDIT: Adding that chi (Chee) and qi (ky) are what I have understood to be the energetic blood or streams of the body. That was really all I had going behind it.