I joined LMP back in Feb of 2018, back when it was free and open to anyone. I had come across it earlier in 2015 but was put off by it at the time by the weird vibes but by 2018 I wanted to try something different and it seemed like it would be an interesting experience where I could at least learn or become familiar with Neidan. I had some of the darkest moments of my life while signed up on the forums and so did two other people that I shared living space with.
The techs definitely seemed to do something and I had some noticeable visions after getting started practicing them. I saw some weird stuff, cyborg like entities, imps, lizard-like beings and whatnot. I mentioned putting up wards on the forum and was told to definitely not do that, which I found odd because every other spiritual system I worked with stressed doing so while engaging with psychic/magick/spiritual work. In June or July of that year a member had apparently worked with some form of Buddhist or Hindu pantheon spirit and it had caused serious haywire to LMP and the new emerging school MFBH. People were having intense and weird psychic disturbances, getting seriously spooked and it caused quite a ruckus. I noted that I experienced the feeling of some form of dark/evil presence around me on the forum and feeling like I was being drained to which advanced members replied that it was the lack of their psychic egregore around me. I asked for further explanation and was told that newer members psychically fed-off(vamp'd) of advanced members, something that wasn't put out there directly to newer members and they didn't like talking about it as it was supposed to remain mostly secret to how the school worked. We were more or less encouraged to work with demonic forces but were dissuaded from working with other spirits, like Quan Yin or Vishnu, as they had their own egregore that would attack ours apparently.
There was this one tech called, 'Black Egg' that probably should of been for more advanced members only but everyone was told they could do it as it would help re-stabilize our, 'hub.' After I preformed it I felt really weird, off and fuzzy for the rest of the day until I was watching a video by one of my favorite youtube creators and he included a Vishnu Sahasranamam(a long recited hymn to Vishnu) in the middle of the video. It, 'broke' the fuzzy and weird feeling that was on top of me and I felt a deep sense of psychic relief but later on in the day I felt like I was being chased or hunted by, 'something' and kept getting nudged by my intuition to go home and get off the road, as I was doing rideshare at the time. When I got back my GF noted that she felt like I was in danger or something bad was about to happen until I got back home to which she then experienced relief. On a night a week or two previous to this one I had come home late and got onto the forum and was sitting in the bed with her beside me asleep when all of a sudden she sat straight up in bed from a sleep paralysis nightmare and described how she saw me with horns coming out of my head while I was bellowing like an enraged animal. She had tried to get up to help me but a tall being who's face she couldn't see put her back onto the bed and then hands came up from the bed from all sides and wrapped around her to hold her down. She was legitimately freaked out.
A month or so prior to this I was sharing a room with a buddy while we were working at the same place. One day he tells me at work that he had an intense, 'dream' where he got up to go into the kitchen and encountered a, 'Grey'(short thin beings with a large head and big black eyes) to which he started to freak out before blacking out. Him telling me this disturbed something in me and the night he told me it happened to him I had an instance where we went to sleep early in our respective beds after work and I woke up to him not being in his bed. I didn't hear him exit the room as I was right next to the door and a light sleeper and I didn't hear any sound of him in the kitchen or bathroom(it was a small apartment) but didn't think much of it and went back to bed only to wake up an hour later and see him in bed laying in the exact position he was in when we both passed out.
I left the forum one night soon after the black egg incident and experienced an intense vision of SOTG without a mask, large horns and pure black eyes above and in front of me, very satanic like, taunting me while I was still awake and I just accepted that I may have messed with something I didn't understand and incited it to anger to which it then seemed to lose focus on me. I ended up rejoining the forum later on in Sept for what reason I couldn't really tell you other than I had left my GF and my friend went elsewhere so I was alone and have always been into real spiritual/psychic experience so I figured I would give it another shot. I had to go through MFBH as LMP was now closed to the public. Then a week or so later SOTG was really upset that no one was following protocol at MFBH (even though he created it as an introductory, experimental forum for people to feel it out for themselves) so he created a new forum, 'The Immortal Path' which required a monthly payment and I was one of the first members on there. TIP wasn't as dark as LMP but I still suffered from weird experiences to which my lack of participation was always blamed even though I read, practiced and posted as much as I could. I eventually left again the following year in April/May of 2019 as I was tired of the isolation I was experiencing by putting so much focus into the forum over having a normal life. I had some weird stuff follow me for a bit but I've collected a fair deal of intense spiritual experiences before coming to the forum so I was able to navigate through them without too much trouble.
I had asked him before I left if he would give me 1-on-1 training if I could come to his personal residence by my own so I could gain a better understanding of his system via personal instruction but received a vague response which he basically said he couldn't at that time, which was one of the main reasons I left. I ended up joining one last time in March of 2021 and had noticed that most of the long-time advanced members had vanished and no one wanted to talk about it. I eventually asked around and was told in a hush-hush manner of what may have occurred but I still gave it another shot. I had visions of greys myself this time and other entities that disturbed my sleep which I chalked up to outside interference. I asked again about 1-on-1 training again and was again given a vague response again that basically implied that he didn't think he was able to do so at the time. Then the next day a member who had joined in late 2020 made a post about how no one should ask him about coming to his physical location otherwise they would be thought of as a Fed. That was the last draw for me as I was sick of spending so many hours reading, posting and trying to work things out on my own while my life went haywire around me. In person instruction is infinitely more valuable than over a forum and many teachers out there won't teach or instruct you until they've met with you personally so it was a big red flag for me. I had always been into the darker side of spiritual systems because I like to know whats out there but I definitely have my limits.
Sotg was originally an enochian mage before he came into eastern alchemy and enochian can be a very dangerous system. He wrote many ebooks on it that are still available online, in one of them he mentions how the Angels told him, 'All other forms of magick besides our own is black magick' which I found very interesting because he was constantly messing with other magickal systems in the forum and it was always the darker ones. His first videos talk about how LMP would always be open and free to the public but changed his mind later on and locked it all up. The last time I signed up after all the advanced members were gone there was a definite and noticeable lack of energy in the place and all of their logs had been wiped, including my original log. So many hours and insights into people's personal practice had been either restricted outright or lost. I was told it was done so as not to put a drain on the forum..
The experience was like anything else, you definitely experienced some form of intense weirdness if you were on that forum long enough and trying out the techs. When he started TIP he did away with Stillness which was supposed to be included in equal parts to the amount of time you spent doing the techs when it was only LMP, his original forum and school. Too many Taoist texts talk about the importance of Stillness and so did one of the original members of LMP that many of us looked up to so I found it strange that he felt he could do away with it so easily and mentioned how he didn't really do Stillness much at all so we should be fine.
There forums were always chaotic and you had to search things out which required too much time to sift through and become familiar with the system effectively. He never categorized them or boiled them down to main points of discussion which would have made things much easier to digest and freed up time to practice. He didn't follow through on a lot of what he said he would, had projects that he started that he would never finish and oversold everything he did like he was hawking wares on an NY street corner. I'm still really grateful for the experience overall but I can't imagine what people went through who never encountered high strangeness before experienced on the forums. If people got hurt it was always blamed on them and they were shunned from the forums like a leper. It seemed more like a chaotic would-be alchemy & magick circus than an actual school. There never seemed to be any definite point other than, 'Immortality' which was always vaguely ill-defined. One thing that really stood out to me was there was never a sense of deep peace that you experience when you read wisdom texts and we were never encouraged to read up on any wisdom or philosophical traditions which I think are PARAMOUNT to proper processing of spiritual experience. It was always more techs, more practice time, more energy, more rituals,.. More, more, MOAR!
In the end, I feel that he violated his own principles that he set forth originally and seriously missed a few steps in the alchemical process from which he then became mentally unstable to a high degree. He had some very interesting insights and ideas about Neidan but I don't feel that it was worth all the trouble members went through to learn about them. I was deeply saddened to learn about what the female members went through and it upsets me to a great deal that I participated in his system with him doing psychically harmful stuff behind the scenes. His school was an example of exactly what NOT TO DO when attempting to practice Neidan and exactly WHAT to WATCH OUT FOR. There is much more I could talk about and add but I feel that this seals how I feel about Sotg and his system of alchemy. I feel like he was running some type of psychic pyramid/ponzi scheme in order to get newer members hooked and then would blame them when their results started getting stale or dried-up completely, thereby imploring them to commit further to him and feeding into his egregore for his own benefit over their own.
I donated back when it was just LMP and was free because I thought it was so unique, before his new TIP forum came about which required monthly donations. So I just want to be clear that I was very supportive of him in the beginning and overlooked a lot of red flags because of my own reasons, mainly that I had a spirit of intrigue for it, which is a well known trap in many psychic or magick circles. I had a few very intense and beautiful experiences from initially practicing it but I've reached the conclusion that it was either from my own work as I had never put forth effort into any Neidan system before or it was from other advanced members that were propping up the psychic field of the school for people like myself to feed off of and into. They were too far apart and in-between though when weighed against all the chaos and error that was going on in the school.
May everyone who participated in this dark theater heal and grow wise from their experience with it. I'm open to more discussion via DM if anyone wants to talk more in depth about these things or what they might have gone through. I highly recommend getting familiar with Quan Yin if you are still reeling from any ill effects that these experiences may have had on you.
Thank you for keeping this open long enough for me to post this, I greatly appreciate being able to share this information and get it out there to others.
