Nosferatu

I had many experiences like this when I was a child. I attribute my loss of visualization ability (aphantasia) at the age of 7-8 to a way for my mind to protect itself from these visions/apparitions. Every time I try to start any spiritual practice, my life takes a completely catastrophic turn and really bad things start to happen: illnesses, accidents, obstacles, strange bad sensations in my body... I also started researching occultism/witchcraft because of this. By coincidence, this month I also found out about these Thai practices. I'm frantically researching everything about it in english and I came across your topic today. I know that the author Jerry Alan Johnson has written books about these things, but the prices are kind of prohibitive to buy when living in Brazil, the conversion from dollars to reais is too high. What traditions have you trained before that the teachers didn't know how to deal with? I find that this is very common in most meditation and cultivation lineages and I always thought that with the practice of meditation and cultivation the spiritual knowledge about these things would come naturally but apparently that is not the case.

Are you following all the restrictions of this method (avoid wind, do not drink water for 30 minutes before and after practice...)? How are you now? I am a little afraid to practice this method, I do not know if I can afford to get sicker than I am.