Sir Darius the Clairvoyent

The Dao Bums
  • Content count

    913
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    6

Posts posted by Sir Darius the Clairvoyent


  1. So I am in the procesd of finishing my degrre in economics. I am very demotiveted, and If i was not so close to finishinging, Id probally quit. Id like to do something in care (feels more rewarding,) or maybe practical work like fishing bout or electrician.

     

    Any thoughts?


  2. Indo-European Cosmology

    Sometimes I've pondered how our ancestors viewed gods: whether they were literal "men in the sky" whom they worshipped, or if they had a more sophisticated understanding. Therefore, I'll explore this a bit here.

    In mythological context, "cosmology" refers to the study of how the universe, cosmos, was created and structured according to a specific cultural or religious belief system. Cosmology in mythology usually explores how the world came into being, how it operates, and how it's organized, based on the mythological narratives and beliefs of a particular culture or religion.

    The great void

    Völuspá (trans. Bellows):
    Sea nor cool waves nor sand there were Earth had not been, nor heaven above, But a yawning gap, and grass nowhere.

    Rigveda 10:129 (trans. Doniger):
    There was neither non-existence nor existence then there was neither the realm of space nor the sky which is beyond... There was neither death nor immortality then. There was no distinguishing sign of night nor of day.

    Hesiot:
    It was said that in the beginning of time there was chaos. Chaos existed without form or purpose. And from chaos there came Gaia who was the earth and who created all the land. She was the primordial being of the earth and she would give birth to the heavens, who was known as Uranus.

    Click to expand...



    So, from all these traditions we see clear similarities, about how the world was created from nothing. The beginning of the universe, or everything, is so unthinkable for us that nobody can do it any better. In Norse mythology, the creation narrative goes something like this:

    Ginnungagap describes the primordial state of infinite emptiness or abyss in Norse mythology. It's a state of total disorder and infinity that existed before the universe was created. In Ginnungagap, there is nothing except the potential for creation. From Ginnungagap arose two realms, Niflheim and Muspelheim.
    Creation narrative: In Norse mythology, especially in the poem "Voluspá" in the Elder Edda, the creation of the world is described. Creation starts with Ginnungagap and continues with the two realms, Niflheim and Muspelheim, coming into existence. In contrast to Muspelheim, which is the realm of fire and heat, Niflheim is the realm of ice and cold. The name "Niflheim" comes from the Old Norse word "Nifl," meaning "mist" or "fog," and "heim," meaning "world" or "home." It's in the meeting between these that the first beings come into existence. The cosmic cow Audhumbla licks the giant Ymir (the devourer) out of the ice, and he is slaughtered by the three brothers Odin, Vili, and Ve, who shape the earth out of his body parts. Thus, the universe was created by "sacrificing" chaos and transforming it into order. We see a very similar symbolism in the Greek creation narrative.

    Logos, Chaos, and Cosmos

    Zoroastrianism shares certain concepts that can be compared to the idea of a cosmic order or principle. In Zoroastrianism, Ahura Mazda is the supreme god, representing goodness, light, and truth. Ahura Mazda is the creator of the universe and the source of all goodness and order. In this understanding, Ahura Mazda can be regarded as a form of cosmic principle or logos governing the universe toward goodness and justice. Zoroastrianism also teaches about the struggle between good (Ahura Mazda) and evil (Angra Mainyu or Ahriman).
    In Norse mythology, certain concepts can be compared to the idea of a cosmic order or principle. In Norse mythology, there is a belief in fate or "ørlög" that governs the universe. Ørlög can be seen as a form of cosmic destiny or order that affects all actions and events. Destiny is woven by Norns, who are the goddesses who determine fate.

    The word "chaos" originates from Greek mythology and philosophy. It comes from the Greek word "χάος" (pronounced "khaos"), meaning "void," "abyss," or "disorder." In Greek mythology, chaos referred to the original state of disorder and emptiness that existed before the universe was created. In Hesiod's work "Theogony," as mentioned earlier, chaos is described as the original state where everything was in disorder, and nothing was defined or organized. It was only through cosmic forces and divine action that chaos was shaped and structured, and the universe took shape.

    Etymologically, the word "chaos" comes from the Greek verb "χαίνω" (pronounced "khaino"), meaning "to yawn open," "to gape," or "to make empty."
    The word "cosmos" also comes from Greek, from the word "κόσμος" (pronounced "kosmos"). Originally, it had a broad meaning referring to world order, beauty, and harmony. Etymologically, it's related to the verb "κοσμέω" (pronounced "kosmeo"), meaning "to arrange" or "to adorn." In Greek philosophy, the term "cosmos" was used to describe the ordered and harmonious structure of the universe. This included both the physical world and the moral and social order. According to this philosophy, the cosmos was an expression of perfect harmony and balance.


    I've read Aurelius' meditations where he describes "unright" actions, behavior, and conduct as "ungrammatical (that which goes against "all-nature")." Since logos (order) also means word, I find this interesting.

     

    In the beginning was Logos, and Logos was with God, and Logos was God.
    The same was in the beginning with God.
    All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made.
    In him was life; and the life was the light of men.
    And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.


    Concept of God

    The fundamental Indo-European root for divine creation is *dheh1, meaning "to set in place, lay down, or establish", as evidenced in the Hittite expression nēbis dēgan dāir ("... established heaven (and) earth"), the young Avestan formula kə huvāpå raocåscā dāt təmåscā? ("What skillful artificer made the regions of light and dark?"), the name of the Vedic creator god Dhātr, and possibly in the Greek name Thetis, presented as a semi-divine goddess in Alcman's poetry. The concept of the cosmic egg, symbolizing the primordial state from which the universe arises, is also found in many Indo-European creation myths. A similar description of the appearance of the universe before the act of creation is also found in the Vedic, Germanic, and partly in the Greek tradition.

    The basic word for "god" in Proto-Indo-European is *deiwós ("celestial"), itself a derivative of *dei- ("to shine, be bright"). On the other hand, the word for "earth" (*dʰéǵʰōm) has roots in both "earthly" and "human", as evidenced particularly in the Latin cognates humus and homo. This suggests a hierarchical perception of humanity's status in relation to the gods, confirmed by the use of the term "mortal" (*mr̩tós) as a synonym for "human" as opposed to the never-dying gods in Indo-European traditions. The idea is expressed in the Homeric phrase "of the immortal gods and of men who walk on earth".
    (wiki)

    A Monistic Understanding of Gods

    So, these are just my thoughts, but I suspect that Indo-European traditions operated with a monistic or pantheistic understanding of gods, rather than a polytheistic one.
    Dyeius Pater (sky-father) gave rise to a variety of gods, illustrated below:
    dyeus-jpg.jpg?fit=697%2C813&ssl=1


    Odin was known as All-father. Prajapati is also known as "Father of all creatures", and his role as a creator figure and deity with a central role in cosmology can be compared to Odin's role as Allfather in Norse mythology. Zeus plays a similar role in Greek mythology. My theory is that all gods (their offspring) are aspects of this one god - the Allfather who gave life to everything, and not literally a "man in the sky."

    Hymn to Zeus – Cleanthes, ca. 3th century bc

    Translated by Stephen Hanselman

    Spoiler

     

    Most honored of immortals, many-named one, ever omnipotent,

    Zeus, prime mover of nature, steering all things by your law,

    Greetings! For it is proper for all mortals to speak to you:

    For we all descend from you, bearing our share of your likeness

    We alone, of all mortal creatures that live and move on earth.

    So, I shall make song of you constantly and sing forever of your might.

    Truly, this whole universe, spinning around the earth,

    Obeys you wherever you lead, and willingly submits to your rule;

    Such is the servant you hold in your unconquerable hands,

    A double-edged, fiery, ever-living thunderbolt.

    For by its strikes all the works of nature happen.

    By it you direct the universal reason, which pervades all things

    Intermixing with the great and small lights of the heavens.

    Because of this you are the greatest, the highest ruler of all.

    Not a single thing that is done on earth happens without you, God,

    Nor in the divine heavenly sphere nor in the sea,

    Except for what bad people do in their foolishness.

    But you know how to make the crooked straight

    And to bring order to the disorderly; even the unloved is loved by you.

    For you have so joined all things into one, the good and the bad,

    That they all share in a single unified everlasting reason.

    It is shirked and avoided by all the wicked among mortals,

    The wretched, who ever long for the getting of good things,

    Neither see nor hear God's universal law,

    By which, obeying with understanding, they could share in the good life.

    But instead they chase after this and that, far from the good,

    Some in their aggressive zeal for fame,

    Others with a disordered obsession with profits,

    Still others in indulgence and the pleasurable exertions of the body.

    [They desire the good] but are carried off here and there,

    All the while in zealous pursuit of completely different outcomes.

    But bountiful Zeus, shrouded in dark clouds and ruling the thunder,

    Protect human beings from their ruinous ignorance;

    Scatter it from our souls, grant that we might obtain

    True judgment on which you rely to steer all things with justice;

    So that having won honor, we may honor you in return,

    Constantly singing of your works, as it is proper

    For mortals to do. For neither mortals nor gods have any greater privilege

    Than to make everlasting song of the universal law in justice.

     

     

     




    Ill end it with a reconstuction of the indo-european creation myth done by David Anthony, «the horse, the wheel and the language» p. 132:
    Åpne bilde

    Sources: some wiki articles (can link if somebody wants), a little use of chatgpt, the ones mentioned in texts.

    • Like 1

  3. 4 minutes ago, Elysium said:

    Though this is becoming less and less of an unpopular opinion nowadays, iq tests really doesn't do much but measure a single part of intelligence, and its up to debate if it does a good job at it.

     

    Anyone bragging about their results aren't as bright as they think they are.

    Anyone bragging about it is retarted. That being said, in fairness it does measure problem solving ability very well, and does correlate strongly to academic and career achievement. What it does not, is say anything about more important stuff like wisdom, rationality, empathy, social skills… list goes on


  4. 1 hour ago, NaturaNaturans said:

    Unpopular opinion: yall need Jesus. The truth, the way and life, none enter the kingdom but trough him.

    Come to think about it, 2.4 billion belive that, so it might be the most popular opinion of all time. I am only Christian in the sense that as an european, it feels easier to

    me to understand then more foreign religions. But as said, all path worthy of its name point at the same thing. This is Whats called mysticism, is it not?

    • Like 2

  5. Virtue ethics ressonates deeply with me. I belive it is true, and the path to a life well lived. I know shamefully little about it, however. So little that i leave it do chatgdp for an introduction:

     

    «Virtue ethics is a philosophical approach that emphasizes the development of moral character and virtues such as honesty, courage, and compassion. It focuses on the moral agent rather than specific actions or consequences, aiming for individuals to cultivate virtuous traits and habits that lead to ethical behavior. This approach traces its origins back to ancient Greek philosophers like Aristotle, who believed that living a virtuous life leads to eudaimonia, or flourishing.»

     

    I am hoping to hear your thoughts on it, how to live, a deeper understanding etc. 

     

    A poorly written thread, but I hope it can lead to a productive discourse.


  6. 17 minutes ago, S:C said:

    always questions, never answers, sorry.

    I think questions are more usefull than answers, young socrates. Answers can be wrong, questions can not.

     

    I want, once and for all,
    not to know many things.
    Wisdom requires moderation in knowledge
    as in other things.
    Friedrich Nietzsche
    • Like 2

  7. I have only read a few pages, but it is incredebilly well written. Just wanted to share how he discribes the initial capture (his exact age is not mentioned, but he is obviously a child):

    image.png.90e3b13932e50e82a4b29bf7f0415aee.png

    I am hooked, and will probally finish it in a day or two, and then come back with a review. Fascinating stuff. 

    • Like 2

  8. 37 minutes ago, steve said:

     

    I read a very powerful autobiography called The Falcon by John Tanner.

    It gives a first hand account of what it was like living as a hunter gatherer in the Great Lakes region in the late 18th century.

    Highly recommended. 

     

    Sounds perfect, thank you

     

    IMG_1605.thumb.png.c592dd97997b53f7d91625f7cf5925a4.png

    • Like 1

  9. Just now, silent thunder said:

    Awareness does not arise or diminish.

     

    No teaching it, or attaining what already is your fundamental essential nature.

     

    Release, explore, seek, destroy, absolve, report, learn, forget...

     

    Awareness is

     

    i am

    I agree, but you can tune in to it by focusing on breath for instance, dont you think?


  10. 1 hour ago, stirling said:

    Receive this teaching from someone who holds an unbroken lineage; this lineage is still intact. Otherwise, everyone dies; there is no exception. In the past, everyone who lived in this world died. Right now everyone alive will die. Everyone born int he future will also die. Everything in the world changes; nothing remains the same, nothing is permanent, nothing lasts. If you want to be successful, if you really want to take care of yourself recognize your enlightened essence. - A Message to Human Beings, Tulku Urgyen Rinpoch, Extracted with permission from Rangjung Yeshe Publications, from Repeating the Words of the Buddha, by Tulku Urgyen Rinpoche

    And if the elements themselves suffer nothing by their perpetual conversion of one into another, that dissolution, and alteration, which is so common unto all, why should it be feared by any? Is not this according to nature? But nothing that is according to nature can be evil.


    (…)

     

    You came into the world as a part. You will vanish in that which gave you birth, or rather you will be taken up into its generative reason by the process of change.

     

    (…)

     

    If souls survive death for all eternity, how can the heavens hold them all? Or for that matter, how can the earth hold all the bodies that have been buried in it? The answers are the same. Just as on earth, with the passage of time, decaying and transmogrified corpses make way for the newly dead, so souls released into the heavens, after a season of flight, begin to break up, burn, and be absorbed back into the womb of reason, leaving room for souls just beginning to fly. This is the answer for those who believe that souls survive death.

     

    (…)

     

    23. Everything is fitting for me, my Universe, which fits thy purpose. Nothing in thy good time is too early or too late for me; everything is fruit for me which thy seasons, Nature, bear; from thee, in thee, to thee are all things. The poet sings: 'Dear city of Cecrops', and will you not say: 'Dear city of God'?


    ― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

    • Like 1

  11. Thank you, @stirling. Id like to clarify a few things. It is not that I do not belive in "higher states" or the possibility of everything suddenly becomming clear and a deep sense of unity. In fact, I have experienced it. I think I more so have a problem with the term, trying to "teach it," and the idea of it being constant and everlasting bliss. Trying to teach it, and trying to achieve it, does in my opinion only complicate and lead to confusion. It makes it a chase, and make it sounds grander then it is (IMO), when inner peace in many ways is giving in, to stop looking, to accept. Do I make sense?

     

    As mentioned, I too have felt this deep sense of peace and unity. But it happened out of the blue, it passed relativley quickley and to complicate things further: shortly after I went psychotic haha. I agree very much that it is not limitied to buddhism, or any other teaching. I think you find the theme of "higher counciousness" in every faith/philosophy worthy of its name. Hinduism, christian heaven, sufism, buddhism ofc...

     

    Take one of my favorite verses of norse writing. This is from Havamal stanza 137-138 (havamal = sayings of the high one, aka Odin.)

    I know that I hung on a windy tree
    nine long nights,
    wounded with a spear, dedicated to Odin,
    myself to myself,
    on that tree of which no man knows from where its roots run.

    No bread did they give me nor a drink from a horn,
    downwards I peered;
    I took up the runes,
    screaming I took them,
    then I fell back from there

     

    Then i fell back from there... I find it hard to articulate why, but I think that a sense of unity is nesserily fleeting and that a life long feeling of peace/unity is impossible. I think unity in a way implies duality, - - = +. As said, maybe I make no sense, but I have already said that talking about it is (IMO) useless. It happens when it happens, if it happens. Maybe it is one of those things that can only be pointed at.

     

    From the gnostic gospel of Thomas:

     

    (3) Jesus said, "If those who lead you say to you, 'See, the kingdom is in the sky,' then the birds of the sky will precede you. If they say to you, 'It is in the sea,' then the fish will precede you. Rather, the kingdom is inside of you, and it is outside of you. When you come to know yourselves, then you will become known, and you will realize that it is you who are the sons of the living father. But if you will not know yourselves, you dwell in poverty and it is you who are that poverty

     

    (97) Jesus said, "The kingdom of the father is like a certain woman who was carrying a jar full of meal. While she was walking on the road, still some distance from home, the handle of the jar broke and the meal emptied out behind her on the road. She did not realize it; she had noticed no accident. When she reached her house, she set the jar down and found it empty."

     

    (113) His disciples said to him, "When will the kingdom come?" 11 "It will not come by waiting for it. It will not be a matter of saying 'here it is' or 'there it is.' Rather, the kingdom of the father is spread out upon the earth, and men do not see it."

     

    Isha Upanishad, verse 16:

     

    16. O Sun, sole traveller of the Heavens, controller of all, Surya, son of Prajapati remove thy rays and gather up thy burning light. I behold thy glorious form; 1 am he, the Purusha within thee.

     

     

    These are some of the texts that ressonates with me. To others they might be meaningless. And what is meaningfull to them might be meaningless to me.

     

    Did I make any sense?

    • Like 1

  12. Hmmm… I probally have a lot, but some I is better unsaid. Lets see.

     

    1. I think enlighentment (awakening from delusion, Freedom for suffering, constant sense of unity) is impossible/does not exist, needlessy complicates «higher counciousness» and causes a lot of confusion and pain, in having people chase something I dont think can be chased. Even telling people it cant be chased, it is in you, confuses people. The gateless gate. I dont like (or just dont understand) it..

     

    2. capitalism poisons everything.

     

    that is it for now.

    • Like 1

  13. 3 hours ago, NaturaNaturans said:

    Footnotes

    [1] At the first Congress of Charities held at Brussels in 1817 one of the richest manufacturers of Marquette, near Lille, M. Scrive, to the plaudits of the members of the congress declared with the noble satisfaction of a duty performed: “We have introduced certain methods of diversion for the children. We teach them to sing during their work, also to count while working.” That distracts them and makes them accept bravely “those twelve hours of labor which are necessary to procure their means of existence.” Twelve hours of labor, and such labor, imposed on children less than twelve years old! The materialists will always regret that there is no hell in which to confine these Christian philanthropic murderers of childhood.

    This footnote is from «the right to be lazy» (1883,) though i might as well qoute the full chapter, as i think it is relevant:

     

    Spoiler

    Paul Lafargue

    The Right To Be Lazy


    Let us be lazy in everything, except in loving and drinking, except in being lazy. – Lessing

     

    Chapter I
    A Disastrous Dogma

    A strange delusion possesses the working classes of the nations where capitalist civilization holds its sway. This delusion drags in its train the individual and social woes which for two centuries have tortured sad humanity. This delusion is the love of work, the furious passion for work, pushed even to the exhaustion of the vital force of the individual and his progeny. Instead of opposing this mental aberration, the priests, the economists and the moralists have cast a sacred halo over work. Blind and finite men, they have wished to be wiser than their God; weak and contemptible men, they have presumed to rehabilitate what their God had cursed. I, who do not profess to be a Christian, an economist or a moralist, I appeal from their judgement to that of their God; from the preachings of their religious, economics or free thought ethics, to the frightful consequences of work in capitalist society.

    In capitalist society work is the cause of all intellectual degeneracy, of all organic deformity. Compare the thorough-bred in Rothschild’s stables, served by a retinue of bipeds, with the heavy brute of the Norman farms which plows the earth, carts the manure, hauls the crops. Look at the noble savage whom the missionaries of trade and the traders of religion have not yet corrupted with Christianity, syphilis and the dogma of work, and then look at our miserable slaves of machines. [1]

    When, in our civilized Europe, we would find a trace of the native beauty of man, we must go seek it in the nations where economic prejudices have not vet uprooted the hatred of work. Spain, which, alas, is degenerating, may still boast of possessing fewer factories than we have of prisons and barracks; but the artist rejoices in his admiration of the hardy Andalusian, brown as his native chestnuts, straight and flexible as a steel rod; and the heart leaps at hearing the beggar, superbly draped in his ragged capa, parleying on terms of equality with the duke of Ossuna. For the Spaniard, in whom the primitive animal has not been atrophied, work is the worst sort of slavery. [2] The Greeks in their era of greatness had only contempt for work: their slaves alone were permitted to labor: the free man knew only exercises for the body and mind. And so it was in this era that men like Aristotle, Phidias, Aristophanes moved and breathed among the people; it was the time when a handful of heroes at Marathon crushed the hordes of Asia, soon to be subdued by Alexander. The philosophers of antiquity taught contempt for work, that degradation of the free man, the poets sang of idleness, that gift from the Gods:

    O Melibae Deus nobis haec otia fecit.

    Jesus, in his sermon on the Mount, preached idleness: “Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they toil not, neither do they spin: and yet I say unto you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.” Jehovah the bearded and angry god, gave his worshipers the supreme example of ideal laziness; after six days of work, he rests for all eternity.

    On the other hand, what are the races for which work is an organic necessity? The Auvergnians; the Scotch, those Auvergnians of the British Isles; the Galicians, those Auvergnians of Spain; the Pomeranians, those Auvergnians of Germany; the Chinese, those Auvergnians of Asia. In our society which are the classes that love work for work’s sake. The peasant proprietors, the little shopkeepers; the former bent double over their fields, the latter crouched in their shops, burrow like the mole in his subterranean passage and never stand up to look at nature leisurely.

    And meanwhile the proletariat, the great class embracing all the producers of civilized nations, the class which in freeing itself will free humanity from servile toil and will make of the human animal a free being, – the proletariat, betraying its instincts, despising its historic mission, has let itself be perverted by the dogma of work. Rude and terrible has been its punishment. All its individual and social woes are born of its passion for work.

     

     

    • Like 1

  14. 1 hour ago, silent thunder said:

    Civilization, to me is wholly uncivilized.

    It is predatory in nature, which makes complete sense given that civilization derives from human socializing and humans are...

    Civilisation makes humans comodities, cattle. Imagine life in uruk, pure hell If you Ask me. Id prefer life in pre-columbian amazon any day of the weak. 
     

    Allthough i think things got a little better in Europe when the «slave empires» dissapeared, life under the industrial revolution must have been pure hell.

     

    Humans are made for fruits, nuts, fish and meat, not grain. We are supposed to move around and hunt, not sit on a school bench 8 hours a day and the rest on phone/pc. Humans are egalitarian by nature, not enslavers, god kings and mass murderers (warriors). Chris Ryan, author of civilized to death once said: no one gets ptsd from being kind. 
     

    Edit: health declind massivley in the first civilisations. Violence exploded. Class became thing. Property and raiding, overpopulation… I am convinced that if we accepted that we are animals, and tried to make enviorments to further human flourishing rather then profit, we would be way better of.

     

    edit two: I have heard hunther gatheres only «worked» (hunted) for 2-4 hours daily. @Nungali?

    • Like 1

  15. On 21.2.2024 at 9:39 PM, Nungali said:

    I think it was the way the scientific revolution became embedded in the west .

     

    Again ; its an essential understanding needed to be able to comprehend 'what happened to' the  western mind  / zeitgeist .

    I think it made us sick, really. I dont want to get political, so please dont take any offense If you love these things or have a different opinion, but my opinion is that industrialisation, alienation, extreme capitalism and marketing, as well as materialism, poisons everything. In these societies, you are not treated as a human being, but a commodity. If your «cost» is higher then your «benefit,» you are basically worthless.


    Europe and NA in the 1800s must have been pure hell. Id rather live in the woods or on a farm then in an early factory or mine, no doubt about it.

     

    Footnotes

    [1] At the first Congress of Charities held at Brussels in 1817 one of the richest manufacturers of Marquette, near Lille, M. Scrive, to the plaudits of the members of the congress declared with the noble satisfaction of a duty performed: “We have introduced certain methods of diversion for the children. We teach them to sing during their work, also to count while working.” That distracts them and makes them accept bravely “those twelve hours of labor which are necessary to procure their means of existence.” Twelve hours of labor, and such labor, imposed on children less than twelve years old! The materialists will always regret that there is no hell in which to confine these Christian philanthropic murderers of childhood.

     

     

    question to mods: is it possible to add a poll with:

    a) are you western

    b ) eastern

    c) other

     

    and 

     

    D) is there a schism?


  16. On 28.2.2024 at 9:34 PM, steve said:

    As I continue to go deeper with this investigation, new choices and opportunities emerge and I am no longer as limited in how I engage with life. I begin to see through the sense of identity I previously accepted unconditionally and realize who I have thought I am is, in reality, not who I am.

    Very interresting. How did you come to this realization?

     

    Edit: for me, early hindu texts like the bhagavad gita and upanishads changed my perception of myself. I think they are brilliantly and clearly written. Few  other texts... no other text (I have read) acctually, has been able to do that so masterfully for me. They also happens to be the only hindu texts ive read, so I think I should read more