Cadcam

I guess what I mean to say is that no amount of mourning, and no matter what you think, or understand, will stop the worlds movement, or change the inevitable outcome of death. It's something I dwell on a lot these days

I'm dwelling in the thought of how powerless we really are. Especially in light of the gods and their power. What will happen will happen.

I get it. God radiates love and it's up to us to accept it. Sounds like a psychological trick

Though it is a nice idea, and I'm sure God appreciates our love, I don't believe that God must love each of us individually as is often suggested by Christianity. God gave us free will to choose to love, and loving everyone unconditionally leads to problems. No, people have to earn love. God too, has the free will to choose who to love, and can you imagine, with the billions of people born throughout history, and all their virtues, deeds, and talents; how hard it would be to attract God's attention and earn God's love?

I also dwell on the fact that my emotional awareness and actions won't change things. Suicidal thoughts, grieving; won't change anything, things will still be what they are. Again, it's not like I do these things to make a difference, as if I'm more special, but this awareness helps me to be calm.

Lately I've been dwelling on the insignificance of my existence. It's not as if I thought I was more important than others, but going through hallucinations and psychosis has a way of making one feel immediate and elevated purpose and meaning. 8 billion people, more than that dead in the past... little Ole me.... it's humbling, and I see the futility of a lot of actions and behaviors.

Well, I can say from experience that some dreams, at least, are formed and written. I think that there is a personality behind reality, and if anything, I'd say that this personality likes to create, and for that reason I speculate that dreams are just one more venue for them to do so.

Things in my head have been quiet for about 5 months now. I no longer think really, nothing deep or complex at least. I look back at my madness and wonder how it got so complicated and terrifying. I no longer have a use for philosophy. The world simply is.

Now that my meds have taken hold, I'm stable. It's been about 4 months of normalcy, thankfully. I can't believe how insane I became.

They already have that one

You can come up with a unique premise that illustrates something fundamental about existence, and then we branch it off to become all inclusive

What's it even matter, anyways? Everyone has their own beliefs and experiences, it's impossible to agree. It's all chaos.

The only emotions I experience are sadness fear and grief, from witnessing the world's imperfections and suffering.

That's interesting. I too no longer feel joy or happiness. It stems from a time my friends all turned their backs on me, and I thought "all I want is to give them my love" I realized this was codependent and selfish, and I abandoned the desire to inspire joy in them. Something changed inside of me, I became more centered and focused on my solar plexus. Now I sit and don't oner reach. I'm content, but miss joy

We are our responses to what we encounter, based on what we are told to believe.