Cadcam

I was always a minor dabbler in occult and mystical things, casually reading and adopting different magical ideas, but then a spirit got ahold of me and I stumbled into serious belief, yet, I did not know what to believe. I started searching and what I found led me to pain and madness. I found myself living out ideas that evolved on their own, and started overlaying my daily waking awareness mixing with dream and fantasy. I would act out in response to the hallucinations. Eventually these fantasies would break, and I'd wind up in a deep depression. This has been going on for 20 plus years, and after this last psychosis, I think I have broken this curse, because all of the ideas and experiences culminated in a total breakdown. Crossing my fingers.

Though it is a nice idea, and I'm sure God appreciates our love, I don't believe that God must love each of us individually as is often suggested by Christianity. God gave us free will to choose to love, and loving everyone unconditionally leads to problems. No, people have to earn love. God too, has the free will to choose who to love, and can you imagine, with the billions of people born throughout history, and all their virtues, deeds, and talents; how hard it would be to attract God's attention and earn God's love?

I guess what I mean to say is that no amount of mourning, and no matter what you think, or understand, will stop the worlds movement, or change the inevitable outcome of death. It's something I dwell on a lot these days

I'm dwelling in the thought of how powerless we really are. Especially in light of the gods and their power. What will happen will happen.

I get it. God radiates love and it's up to us to accept it. Sounds like a psychological trick

I also dwell on the fact that my emotional awareness and actions won't change things. Suicidal thoughts, grieving; won't change anything, things will still be what they are. Again, it's not like I do these things to make a difference, as if I'm more special, but this awareness helps me to be calm.

Lately I've been dwelling on the insignificance of my existence. It's not as if I thought I was more important than others, but going through hallucinations and psychosis has a way of making one feel immediate and elevated purpose and meaning. 8 billion people, more than that dead in the past... little Ole me.... it's humbling, and I see the futility of a lot of actions and behaviors.

When I was young, I dreamed a lot, but they were loose ideas and not very storied. Now as an adult, I find that they are like movies, with a plot and dialog. They are very involved and realistic, though not always bound by the laws of nature. I'm wondering how mystics magicians and occultism account for them, because from my POV they are designed.

Well, I can say from experience that some dreams, at least, are formed and written. I think that there is a personality behind reality, and if anything, I'd say that this personality likes to create, and for that reason I speculate that dreams are just one more venue for them to do so.

Things in my head have been quiet for about 5 months now. I no longer think really, nothing deep or complex at least. I look back at my madness and wonder how it got so complicated and terrifying. I no longer have a use for philosophy. The world simply is.

Now that my meds have taken hold, I'm stable. It's been about 4 months of normalcy, thankfully. I can't believe how insane I became.

Art is dead. The days of illuminating us on the struggles and turns of the mind as we engage in our journey as a society are gone. All that the artists offer us now are stories of lust and villainy. We are sold to temptation of indulgence and crime, and the reward or folly of both. Man has lost its soul for community and compassion and mercy. We no longer care about other people's hardships and curing them Man now lives its Age of Entitlement where living high on low pleasures is the affordable and easy path to happiness. Virtue is dead, our conflicts are unjust retaliation of criminal governments, soldiers are no longer heroes. Our champions of athletics and science and culture aim for wealth and not honor.

They already have that one

I thought since there's so many thinkers here, that we should join forces and create a pov and detail life from it. We would need a thesis statement, like "God is love" or "desire is suffering" Post your ideas and we'll vote!

You can come up with a unique premise that illustrates something fundamental about existence, and then we branch it off to become all inclusive

What's it even matter, anyways? Everyone has their own beliefs and experiences, it's impossible to agree. It's all chaos.

I am at a stage in life where I see all the chatter online and I look out my door and it is quiet. It gets me thinking about the life we experience. I once mourned that the world is not led by kindness and a voice asked me if they should destroy it, I said no. So now I wonder, as I get along in years, experiencing the suffering of age and disease, and seeing it around me, I ask: is there more joy than suffering? Have I made a mistake in saying not to destroy this place?

The only emotions I experience are sadness fear and grief, from witnessing the world's imperfections and suffering.

That's interesting. I too no longer feel joy or happiness. It stems from a time my friends all turned their backs on me, and I thought "all I want is to give them my love" I realized this was codependent and selfish, and I abandoned the desire to inspire joy in them. Something changed inside of me, I became more centered and focused on my solar plexus. Now I sit and don't oner reach. I'm content, but miss joy

We are our responses to what we encounter, based on what we are told to believe.

Yes we can experience joy without suffering, and vice versa. I tire of people saying we can't have this without that. We appreciate it more when the other comes, that is all.

Along with good and evil, it is worth contemplating and recognizing ones concepts of love and hate, desire, and happiness. When one understands these, and their expectations of them, they can understand much of life's actions and choices.

The world can be understood by contemplating and cataloging thoughts on chaos and order. Remember, chaos is an illusion, for everything is, and everything has an origin and reason. There is no chaos, just ignorance and misunderstanding. In nature there is reason, and the elements follow an order. Animal life has an order as well, and animals do not have much of a moral code. It is human beings, with their ability for logic and language, that is defined and organized by morality. Indeed, morality and moral tales define much of humanity, and the Order that controls chaos in humans can be explained by a cultures sense of good and evil.

Perhaps I am a little too Cynical. I feel betrayed by philosophy. At the end of the day it seems like it all fails. I appreciate my education though.

Sounds like you have it all cataloged well. It's a nice outline, full of hope! Even has an account for God's and creation.