Rheor

My intuition tells me the process is working as it should, I try to adapt to it the best I can. In my experience most of the difficulties stemmed from resistance / fear of the unknown. When I stop thinking about the sensations, it's not so bad at all, it required accepting them and going with it. Yes, it has been a difficult emotional roller coaster, but not necessarily directly linked to the "process". I worked through theses emotions in the past (many of them are no longer relevant): grief sadness depression bouts of excessive paranoia distrust of life dissatisfaction towards life excessive worrying about occasional health issues or about society defeatist attitude despair hopelessness helplessness (would not muster up the courage to do anything at all, pointless to even try anything) shame/guilt/worthlessness Now it is more like: some degree mental confusion restlessness anxiety feeling of insecurity / instability feeling of being in a "limbo" sometimes Dorsal Vagal Shutdown explained the initial difficulties: https://acupuncturetoday.com/article/34334-polyvagal-theory-dorsal-vagal-shutdown https://advaitashram.org/kundalini-the-vagus-nerve/ I also found out about Anima possession, which is fascinating subject, also partly explains some emotional distress. https://appliedjung.com/anima-possession/

meditation 2 hours a day approximately, gentle attention on the belly expanding and shrinking while "letting go". 45mins of Tai Chi which helps sending more energy to the whole body instead of mainly having it ascending in the trunk. Hakuin melting butter visualization a few times a day (sometimes I do it while walking) which I find very helpful to calm the mind / heart fire, it has a calming yin, stabilizing effect, also regulates bowels and hormones in my experience. watching my thoughts in general. "karma yoga", trying to be helpful when I can with family members. dream journaling to get better insights to my unconscious and integrate ignored aspects of my psyche. I would not call it practice, but I guess life in general, prolonged emotional turmoil with "no way out" but through meditation, loss of old anchors to life (which were already shaky in the first place), deletion of social networks, lost contacts with friends, loss of job, loss of distractions, all of which led to a Dark Night. Hungry ghosts offering I stopped for now, in my experience, I think it actually creates a lot of merit but also increased a lot the intensity of purification, also the mantras involved in the ceremony push through the blockages too much. I needed a break, it was too potent for me, I felt "off" for weeks after a single offering. General lopsidedness towards meditation, not wanting to hear about fixing my life differently.. I prefer to take it slow, I have been partly running away from life and want to live coherently now, cleanup the best I can around the "heart opening", not obsessing over it to much, and try to work on what I previously ignored like survival needs, hobbies, activities, social life, autonomy/independence, etc.. before cultivating consciously with increased intensity. Of course, easier said than done.

Ok, I will leave it on the side for now. Thanks for the words of caution.

Hello @dwai I am very interested in the regulate aspect, also your feedbacks on the mentioned thread makes me want set a time aside and try the three first exercises for myself to see how it goes. I just hope it won't add too much fuel to the (heart) fire. I will keep posted if I have any interesting feedback to share. Thank you.

Yes. That's very interesting, I was not aware how the body could regulates itself in this aspect, for a while I meditated trying to push through the blockages and was having a hard time letting go, that explains why my lower back got so tense.. I will keep in mind the and trust my body. Thanks for your input.

@Mark Foote @dwai Hello, thank you so much for your concern, been having a little disconcerting health issue in the meantime. I will make sure to come back here as soon as possible to read your posts and answer properly .

Hey john, Right now the tenderness, pain and the brain fog feel better, I don't know if you have anything to do with that but I am grateful for your concern anyway, thank you. I pray that you enjoy good health for as long as possible and that you may be relieved from any hindrance as well.

Hello Bums, Few days ago, I went to the chiropractor for the first time to make a few adjustments, I won't go into details about that specifically. The point is the air conditioner was running next to the "chiropractic table" where I exposed my naked back. I believe I got cold wind invasion specifically in the right kidney (I got this exact same problem several times in the past from carelessly exposing my naked torso to cold wind, just to get some sun outside...), now it has been 2 days of fatigue/brain fog (a strange one, that I can link to kidney problems) and urine strip test showed some protein in urine. I pressed manually theses points earlier to try to mitigate the harm, from https://www.ryohoshiatsu.com/en/the-wind-points-shiatsu/ I think it has helped a bit, but can't help worry that I have damaged my prenatal Jing or something (happened 3/4 times in the past), is it something that the kidneys can fully recover from without losing strength each time ? Can I replenish at some point down the road ? Right now I feel my right lumbar region tender and a bit hot. Thank you

I'm a definitely a fan of short mantras/syllables as "formal" ones scares the living out of me due to karmic sicknesses (I put them on hold for a little while..),. I recently started chanting "OM" freely throughout the day due to vagus nerve benefits and restoring overall balance, I just love the simplicity of it. I am curious to try this practice, it will probably provide the same benefits on healing the [nervous system]/[vagus nerve]. I also like the idea of visualizing blue with attributes of comfort, of support, of kindness. Sounds grounding and balancing to the yang expanding aspects. I assume you enjoy this practice considering your avatar, has it personally helped you with the heart center ? This sounds good as it will encourage me to get outside more . Here the only thing I am afraid of, is to want to the hide away from the vast expanse, but I guess doing it in nature would provide the grounding. Really appreciate your concern and your helpful suggestions. I hope you don't mind having asked a question here. I like to leave things in the open for other folks. Anyways, thanks for your openness.

Thank you Giles, I remember doing this more than two years ago, I felt better at the beginning of the practice but then the blockages in my system "clogged up" fast and felt worse. I will give it a second shot to see how it goes.. Humming "Om" seems to help calm things down on a side note. Yeah, there was a lot of that I can't deny, I have been working specifically on this the past few months and will work with therapist to see if anything is left unresolved. Fortunately, I feel a lot less dissociated although I am still having the aforementioned symptoms of energy buildup in the chest, I learn to go with it anyways. Thank you.

Hello everyone, I have been lurking a little bit around this forum as I find topics related to Spirituality quite interesting! I am dealing with "excess" energy working in the heart at this moment, have been through an extreme of asceticism. Now looking forward to balance my outer-life with inner-life through lifestyle/herbs/practices/therapies/mindset/etc.. I already do some Zhan zhuang and Tai Chi (learning from youtube), walking barefoot. At this moment trying to go back to more social interactions and resuming professional life ("shop wood, carry water"), adapting to my "new" innerlife, going with it. Might share feedback of new findings or whatnot, cheers.