tianzhang
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Yeah, to answer directly yes theres a huge dark cloud behind me.
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I wouldn't say I am hard on myself, but bad things happen to me alot so I need to be a capable person or else I will suffer.
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I don't really loath myself, but I expect it to get results. I used to struggle with loneliness and the desire for love, I am getting better as I am meditating an my emotions are reducing however I just find that I am bored and disinterested in living in general.
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You think depression and self-loathing is causing this issue?
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Hi everyone Tian Zhang back again, been getting (kind of better?) I swapped over Taijiquan as its more gentle on my body, but one thing I notice is that I cannot do the string holds spine visualization instead I have to visualization the ground sucking me downwards ... it's quite strange, this way my medical condition gets better and I get stronger but the string on head visualization is a no-go for me, anyone got any insights into this?
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Late but my Dr. actually said when I did 2 hr of Zhan Zhuang it put alot of pressure on my kidneys since the Qi cannot sink down well.
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I don't expect to heal myself immediately but I feel like the more I am training, the more stagnation I am making. I am soemwhat afraid I have a yin deficiency but I trust my Dr's diagnosis and my tongue pattern doesn't match. I just don't want to quit or give up training otherwise I am okay with my progress needing some time to train.
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1. Sure, would love to get it for future reference. 2. How do you get such a reading? I got a natal chart reading once but it didn't say anything too accurate and said my life intention is to 'regain my health and not focus on frivolous things."
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1. I try to be relaxed, as possible the tenseness usually comes from feeling like theres a wave traveling down my spine then shooting up. 2. I am practicing with a teacher, so I hope so! He saids it's mostly correct only differences are basically when my body is at it's limit and can't go as wide as he'd like it. 3. My style of Baguazhang doesn't have too much foundation work, but I do the stretches and strengthening exercise my teacher prescribes. 4. Pretty active as my job involves physical labor, alot of depression and suicidal tendencies though. 5. Mostly meats but frequent amount of sugars through the week like two- three times. 6. None, I am not very good looking lol. 7. I am a Metal snake.
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That's the issue is that whenever I practice my Baguazhang forms, sometimes they are okay but other time it causes extreme tightness.
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Huh, no I wasn't offended by your post at all! I was just saying, I was familiar with death. You didn't offend anyone, and have no need to apologize but thank you for considering my feelings! Trust me since I was born many people have told me this and some have even threatened me so I'm not too scared or adverse to the idea lol.
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I mean I'd have to quit the internal arts in general then wouldn't I?
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Doesn't neigong in general build heat due to it circulating qi?
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I was actually very suicidal, I WANTED to die. I was angry that I wasn't dying fast enough. I am less so now, but I am very indifferent to life, life was very rough and might still be to an extent.
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Very unfortunate, I just don't understand how sickly people who practice the internal arts in the past improved but I am still sick from it. Only the grounding palm from the Eight mother palms seem to help me.