tianzhang

Yeah, to answer directly yes theres a huge dark cloud behind me.

I wouldn't say I am hard on myself, but bad things happen to me alot so I need to be a capable person or else I will suffer.

Hi everyone Tian Zhang back again, been getting (kind of better?) I swapped over Taijiquan as its more gentle on my body, but one thing I notice is that I cannot do the string holds spine visualization instead I have to visualization the ground sucking me downwards ... it's quite strange, this way my medical condition gets better and I get stronger but the string on head visualization is a no-go for me, anyone got any insights into this?

I don't really loath myself, but I expect it to get results. I used to struggle with loneliness and the desire for love, I am getting better as I am meditating an my emotions are reducing however I just find that I am bored and disinterested in living in general.

You think depression and self-loathing is causing this issue?

Late but my Dr. actually said when I did 2 hr of Zhan Zhuang it put alot of pressure on my kidneys since the Qi cannot sink down well.