guy johnson

Hi Bums, My wife has been very ill with heart problems and the care of our farm has fallen on my shoulders. Sorry I have not written to you all for a while. I just wrote this and am interested in your responses. Words create different ways to define and I wish to offer you another way to look at detachment. When we live in our intellect we are not detached because the process of intellect is essentialy binary in the same way a computer is. Everthing is judged and catorgarized through an infinate series of yes and no answers. When we silence the mind we end this process during the silence and without the intellect being involved in other then silent observation we are detaced by default as ther is procees to create attachment in a silent mind. Whenever we loose our silence we are instantly brought back into our programed patterns of attachment. Our language and our mathamatics are all based on attachments to catagorizing. Our emotional patterns are predetermined by our genetic inherited emotional memory as well as emotional memeories in the present life. Creating a silence of the emotional being requires observing and learning to know self. when we have identified a pattern the stored emotion behind the pattern is allowed to surface and released just as a computer can have it's memeory errased. Emotions that are released free the individual to feel in the present without the experinces of the past recreating the same mistakes in the present. I have discribed to essentialy different processes here because the life force is comunicated to all life through feelings wich trigger hormones throughtout the body so that every cell is on the same page. Emotions are just feelings frozen in the past wich prevent us from living in the moment. Mental Silence frees us from mental patterns in the same way allowing us to experince the ecstacy. The mental process of healing is self observation in the same way emotions are. Through this self examination we observe our patterns of thought and modify them to reflect the KNOWING we experience with the silent mind. Ecstacy is the experince of the infinate force that we feel through our life force. We can experince enlightenment or ecstacy without having healed emotions and intellect, but our ability to live in this state is dependent on our healing wich becomes self evident in the form of knowing or truth that we feel so deeply it transends our emotions and intellectual beliefs. Enlightenment is a process though at any given moment in that process we are enlightened if compared to one who is refusing see. Fear of loosing our individuality and that essense we call our personality is the motivation of those who tenatiously cling to their patterns of disfunction. In many cultures the emotional healing is dicribed as feminine and the intellectual healing as the male process. Becoming whole and healing both the feminine and masculine is a very powerful state and anyone on this path of being both their feminine and masculine selves is in a position to create a union of souls instead of an intersection where the couple is interdependant for survival. The goal of tantric is this union of two completed souls. Detachment is not a goal but rater a lack of the emotional and intellectual factors wich create attachment. Peace, Guy

Here are some more short writings, You will find that I do not use traditional explanations and the reason is that my knowing is entirely from my own explorations and not from any tradition. I have not read any of the Sacred books nor have I studied Zen or Yoga. The simillarities are simply because I study intellectualy my own experince of being God/Goddess and I have to the best of my ability lat go any beliefs that might hinder or distort the knowing. I understand and experince being perfect within my continious practise as I meditate in varying degrees 24 hours a day I do not sleep but use this time as uninterupted Bliss where daily events in life require a compromise from a perfect State of being. I do however live in a continious state of silence except when required to comunicate with others. When One is open my presense is a constant Shaktipat. P.S. My wife and I are looking for one or two persons who would enjoy the constant company of being with an enlightened being while learning horse training or boat building. Interested persons can contact me at 207-975-4418 or write to me at [email protected] This is a live in situation. Peace Guy Control is an intellectual endeavor and leads one away from the healing of release. I am going to give myself as an example here. My wife has been dealing with a spiraling loss of health due to her vascular system being unable to return her blood to her heart steming from chemo therapy for cancer 22 years ago. After fighting her way through the resistence of the Doctors who not being able to find the problem religated my wife to the world of hypocondrea she went to Boston and the surgeon there found that her superior cava which is a main vein returning blood to the heart was 95% blocked. A simple procedure with a balloon expanding the vein return her instantly to former health. As one can imagine 6 months of watching your mate die is an excellent way to find out if you hold beliefs of being detached or in fact are detached. The word detached is for me not clear in it's meaning because the interpetation is that the detached person does not care any more and that would be seen as unloving. In truth this is a very loving state as ones own emotions have been identified felt and released they no longer provide a distorted interpetation of events where emotions project the internalized reaction to events from their own damaged emotional prospective. A healed detached individual is able to love their mate with complete compassion unaffected by the anger of dying and dispair of the ill mate. This is a state of being where there exists total knowing that the mates experince is in fact part of their healing and even if they die everything is exactly as intended by the intelligent energy of which we all are. I strongly recommend surrender and consequences be dammned. This is the direct road to an enlightened stat.e and anything less is the intellect playing games and pulling one astray. Intellect interjects its beliefs of what must be done and all the practical lifes skills that must be adheared to. Intellect is woefully inadiquate in it's capacity to understand consequences of actions and belief in in intellect is to remain forever in the cycle of emotional pain which intellect is sworn to protect and give rational answers for irrational emotional behaviors. Calling a kundalini experience an orgasm is missleading. The Kundalini experince is so powerfull and complete there is no body no emotions and no intellect but an experince of death as the individual surrenders up the binds created by their belief in their individuality. This death as an individual allows the experince of being God/Goddess as all knowing and pleasure beyond the capacity of the body to experince sexualy. The rest of ones life is usualy spent learning to integrate this knowing into daily living and enlightenment having been experinced requires the healing of the emotional and intellectual body in order to live as an enlightened being. After awakening we all are somewhere along this path of learning to live as love. This statement that I saved from your response makes very clear that you did not understand what I wrote. Please reread and study what I wrote. The intellect is not vast enough to understand consequences of actions. The belief that we can logicaly use discernment and sensibility to judge what is good for us in the future is exactly why enlightenment is so difficult. This belief is also responsable for all the dammage humankind has done to our environment and other life forms. Only from the knowing experinced in complete surrender to the life force do we transcend this greatest of human failings, and I would go so far as to say meditation is the most important tool to avoid this on going universal failing of human kind. This is not ment to insult you in any way but a truth so clear as to be an immutable pivot for the future of human kind. The basis is fear of loss of control. With love and compassion Guy (Quote refered to) As far as surrender is concerned, we need to use discernment and sensibility, logically looking at each situation as it occurs..

Thank you for your kindness, I did not discribe my own state of mind but wish to share with you now. I live in bliss at this time in my life and the series of events that are taking place leave me not in dispair but with an open heart radiating love. I feel for both my son who suffers from a rare lymph disorder. I have complete faith as to how all our lives unfold and daily events do not trouble me. I understand fully the energy that creates my wifes pain and her inability to let go deep patterns that culminate in a death wish of sorts although she also has a powerful desire to live. I do not judge her process nor do I attempt to heal her for the interference of anothers lessons would presume that I know what is good for her and indicate a lack of trust in the flow of life and the complete wisdom of the life force. Here are a series of answers to some very astute questions by a very learned man on one of my groups that might give you insight into where I am coming from. Guy The language being used expresses kundalini as an experince of witnessing God but that is not quite right. The experince is the total surrender of self and intellect as witness brings back the story of the experience. We all are endowed with the essense of the life force and during Kundalini we are God/Goddess. The difficulty is that intellect even as observer of being God/Goddess cannot explain this with words wich in any attempt to define being God/Goddess actualy define what God/Goddess is not and ther lies the problem in that God/Goddess cannot be confined to definition. Every religion and every belief can only define a small piece of the reality Of Being God/Goddess and therefore any belief actualy creats a prison for the mind and forevery limit that being who believes to the limited conception of their personal structure. It is not that any belief is wrong just that every belief confines perception to what we believe. Kundalini is the experince of being one but the writings and resulting religions are interpetations and subject to prior beliefs and personal emotional problems.. This is why I have so strongly advocated healing both emotional self and the release of confining beliefs which are all insuficiant to explain the experince of oneness which simply does not exclude anything. I have had a pwerful awakening and after much time and healing I live in constant energy of the oneness and have learned to integrate this into daily life and work. I maintain a silence in my mind and can think and create without the hinderence of the limitations of thinking in language. yes I agree that what I am discribing is the same thing in that they and I have the same essential experince. The point I am making is the intellect experinces the self as seeing God but in fact the intellect is witnessing the self as God and this is an important difference in understanding. We each are God/Goddess and if there ever was a cospiricy. this is it. We are already God/Goddess and we do need need any church or beliefs structure to experince being God/Goddess who in fact every living thing experinces within the confines of instintual behavior. Intellectual capacity to observe self being God and attempt to explain this to others is both humankinds gift and curse. Honerable in our attempt to explain being God/Goddess we are doomed to failure in the same way as an artist cannot create in art the living being he/she is drawing. The other point I wish to make is that after healing our emotional selves and recreating our intellect to be aliegned with the Knowing we have through our time in being God/Goddess The experince of that state of Being is no longer a flash but an ongoing existence of living as God/Goddess and the physical reality in daily life. I spend my nights in complete bliss but the moment I have a thought or think even in a wordless state I am acting in ego. There is nothing I do or say which is not ego. The best I can do is remain in as much bliss as I can while trying to function on the physical level. This dual existence gives me insight into life and existence translated into Knowing. Anything I do from ego is my personal responsability so essentialy any conscious action performed is not the work of God/Goddess. The kundalini built up for the better part of a year of very specific concentration. I would get very close to something very big and then in Nov of 1972 the energy seemed to break througha barrior and poured into my mind expanding my third eye untill I became the energy This was so powerful as never to be foregotten. With the perspective 0f 34 years of living with Kundalini I felt left by it after the initial opening and my world turned up side down. The real point is that over the years kundalini is no longer a flash in the pan but a powerful force open to my direction or manipulation. Difficulty is that as Kundalini increases in ones life any emotinal or mental issues become magnified with power and every use has a backlash of lessons. Here is where I realized that intellect does not have the depth of knowledge to understand the full ramifications of applied power. As one becomes all powerful kundalini energy cannot be used for personal gains as any use for that purpose bares severe consequences for the user as use is ego oriented. I have learned to just be in that state of ongoing nervana without direting it in any way..People around me can use it for their own healing but there is no presumption of knowing what is good for them..Healing may well require one to undergo emotionaly painfull memories and compassion dictates that their experince is for their own good and should not be interfeared with. Kundalini is not ultimatly a flash in the pan but rather a way of being. Fantastic power and the wisdom not to use it. Blessings on us poor fools. Perhaps the evolution of human kind is to perfect our genes to allow us to exist in profound states of being for life.

Hi Freeform, Interesting take on emotions. I gather that for you Good emotions are emotions that appear to serve you and bad emotions are those that have negative consequences. My response is judging is an act of ego. Emotions that create patterns you are uncomfortable with are very important as these patterns expose patterns you need to look at and release. You are right that we should not be suppressing them but instead taking advantage of them as offering us an opportunity to heal. PEACE Guy

My experience of a full blown awakening has nothing to do with anything so mundane as kriyas. the experience is so total and complete there is no awareness of body or self. Kriyas are an awakening symptom not an indication of experiencing a full awakening. Often I hear discussions of people having awakened kundalini and then they describe the energy and kriyas. These are not manifestations of a full awakening but rather an indication of the start of an awakening process. If you were not sure if you were dead or alive and the power and pleasure was unbearable and well beyond any personal control then I would suspect a full awakening. If you felt your body moving in Kriyas, or had a sense of self or something happening to you, you are still only beginning. You can feel intense pleasure and see lights and many other manifestations but these are just the beginnings. I am defining a full awakening as being that moment when all awareness of our habitual belief in our individuality ends. That first moment when self is obliterated defines a fully awakened kundalini. The variations leading up to that moment are endless. I do not describe how slowly or quickly one achieves this as awakening can be sudden and total as mine was or brought on by years of dedication to a practice. I also do not define this moment as enlightenment although I would say that the obliteration of self is the first experience of enlightenment. I would also say that this is the beginning of a long road to enlightenment for those with a deeply damaged emotional being but could be very quick for someone who has healed their emotional self in preparation. Feeling intense pleasure in the spine and the many manifestations is a very important step on this journey but I believe that do describe this as a full awakening or to lump that experience under the same definition as a full blown divine state beyond the capacity of ego to maintain it's allusion of self is in error. Perhaps we would do well to invent our own words to describe each. A mild awakening may well be all some need for becoming awake but being awake does not mean one has experienced a full kundalini awakening. Many are aware and have wisdom of the oneness of the universe but that does not mean they have experienced that oneness. I am defining that full blown awakening as having been obliterated by that experience as a milestone of kundalini. There is also a distinct possibility that someone with a full awakening drifts from that path and never comes close to enlightenment. To clarify, I do not expect anyone to climb the cliff in the same way as another but I contend that there is a moment of obliteration of awareness of self that is a product of a full kundalini awakening achieved instantaneously or the product of 100 years of gradual awakening. this Obliteration of the I is the defining moment of a full awakening. I reiterate that this is not the defining of enlightenment but having experience the obliteration of self which is not in any way dependent on the degree of emotional healing at that time since awakening can and does accrue as long as the seeker is capable of letting go both emotions and intellect for the duration of event. The gentleness of the journey is directly related to the emotional and intellectual stability of the individual and the healing prior to awakening but without the experience of obliteration a full awakening of kundalini has not taken place. Kundalini might conceivably come to one without notice, gradually bringing one to being fully awake but fully awake is the state of obliteration. Enlightenment being the capacity to maintain this fully aware state or a constant state of living with a full opened kundalini. Living in kundalini and being there on a human level requires the healing of emotions and the surrender of intellects belief in it's individuality and identity as self. Without this healed presence the self is caught in a roller coaster between severe emotional breakdown, manic states, messiah complexes and enlightenment or in other words instability. My direct experience is that the kundalini awakening had no influence on my emotional state and in fact I used the energy from the kundalini to suppress and otherwise halt any progress with my emotional healing and I at hat time relegated emotions as a Primitive animal response. Kundalini became so powerful that by the time I hit forty 18 years later I could not maintain my illusions and I was forced to heal my emotions and change my perspective as to the energy not being mine. From the moment I surrendered up the attachment to my use of and individual possession of the energy my life went from hostile confrontation and control of events to a place of surrender, peace and my cup runnith over with love. Kundalini while under the control of ego can be used for manifestation of materials or events at ones whim, but this power comes with a price. Every manifestation for personal use is granted but with a hidden lesson for the one manifesting. This moment of realization that manifesting for self is in violation of the knowledge of universal oneness is also the definition of good and evil. That which we do on this earth for personal gain accumulates lessons for the individual and that which is manifested for the good of all brings enlightenment. How do you define Kriyas? I avoid using language other then English to avoid having my meaning misinterpreted so with your definition I can better assess your meaning. I have no desire for a contest of words but my experiences are not the same as yours. The event that I call a full awakening happened after six months of very intense concentration. I would describe this period as concentrated energetic work designed to increase the intensity of the bliss I discovered after learning to silence my mind. I use the word silence so as not to have my message misinterpreted by the many forms of meditation. Intensely aware and focused I consciously increased sexual energy originating between the anus and testicles, simultaneously holding in awareness and increasing my inner vision in the area between the eyes and slightly above the nose through flexing and relaxation of muscle groups. My technique was breathing long slow breaths allowing a continuous thin thread of air in both exhale and inhale, holding on either end for as long a duration as comfortable. This technique I had used since 1962 as a diver to consume a third of the air and consequently stay under water for extended periods of time. I also did free diving and extended my stay under water to as much as three minutes. I became very blissful doing this at the age of 12. Internal exploration of energy would be my description of my purpose originally, later evolving as an experiment to create orgasm with concentration of the mind. It is repeatable as well and if the experience was based on how much work the individual had done then this state would no longer be available to me but it most certainly is available at all times. Unless we are discussing two very different kinds of events or we are defining terms very differently, what I call a full awakening and what you call awakening, I call the preliminary awakening process. I am incredulous that you do not seem to have a knowledge of the difference. No disagreement that this event does not make one enlightened but it is an experience of being enlightened. I do not confine myself to eastern terms as they are often incorrectly defined in English or the authors had misperceptions

Dear Yoda, Kundalini did put an extraordinary preasure on me to do my emotional processing. I was not willing and resisted with all my will which I had developed into a considerable power. At some time I will post that history. A short form is that part of my development was the result of extreme physical, emotional, and mental abuse by my mother and my father who traded beating me for sex with her. I was also abused sexualy by my grandmother and a homosexual friend of the family whom my parents often hired as a sitter. The point is that I had complete distain for anything feminine. I refused to feel pain. An example is my foot was amputated in an accident during a sailing accident and I did not even go into shock. I navigated the vessel for three hours to a waiting ambulence in a moonless night while holding the stump with my hand. Two days later Ileft the hospital after having my foot reattached and I strapped the injured leg up out of my way with a belt so I could start the framing of a 70 ft schooner without crutches being in my way. I believe that this particular accident was an extreme way for the energy to force me to feel. Refusing that I had a series of bazzare accidents. I broke my back at the first lumbar along with my pelvise. Then I broke my neck in a car accident and continued to dive commercialy for 6 months before I was forced to go to a hospital because my left side becam parralized while working underwater. I had the experience of white pain at that time . This was so complete as not to allow me to feel me body, pain so intense as to be equal to the intensity of my awakening. This pain came about at the time I was puting on my diving helmit, and I was forced to wait almost an hour befor going diving for the day. I did not want to waist the gasoline. I had a bone chip buried in my spinal columne taking up half the space. Doctors wre amazed that I was not a quadropoligic. I still refused to even recognize emotions as more then a primative animal or feminine weekness. I continued to resist untill the age of 40 eighteen after my awakening. The final straw that broke me down was my sight had become so altered I could not see the physical form of matter.. Everthing was just energy and not solid.. This condition was agravated by any concentration. Building wooden ships with a Zen like perfection requires total concentration and that concentration set off this change in sight. I was forced to stop cutting a fine piece of wood on the bandsaw because I could not see the line I was following on the wood or even the blade and could not risk cutting my fingers off. I broke down and cried at that time for the first ime in my memory. I did not cry as a child as I would not give my parents the satisfaction of admitting they hurt me. I had long hidden in the perfection and blissful energy of my work and that haven had been taken from me. I also had used sex fiveor six times a day to moderate the energy and my relationship with my wife had disolved to a non sexual state. These two major factors brought me to heal emotionaly. The positive side was that once I started feeling the dammage buried in my cells I was able to release in enormous chunks and progressed very rabidly.. I had only to recognize a pattern and feel the stored pain and the pattern of consequential behavior would disappear. My personal experince with releasing pain and my time with helping my present wife heal from sexual abuse with her father as well as extensive healing of emotional damaged animals is my resource for my writings on emotions. I lived in bliss and still do but I also used the bliss to hide from my pain. I live in a bazzare combination of feeling powerful pain from my injuries which include two fusions in my neck, two crushed diske in my lower back and fire through my reattached foot when I walk and the most beautiful peace and detachment from that pain. I still use sexual release about 1.5 times a day as an average in order to moderate the bliss so that I am able to function in the physical world being a parent of a six year old son with a potentialy fatal birth defect caused by my wife undergoing chemo at the age of 19. She is nearl incapacitated from the damage to her heart and vascular system and could leave us with a stroke at any moment. The incredable joy of enlightenment is I am at peace and would discribe myself as a very happy and blessed man. I hope this answered your question. Peace and Love Guy

This was my end of a discusion and thought you all might enjoy it. I could not post her responses and I appoligise for that. I am very interested in your comments. Thanks Guy

My answer was supposed to be humor but perhaps a bit too dry. The problem I have with the answer is this; I recall six times that first year of my awakening when I experienced being completely taken over by this energy. My awareness was of being light beyond any control or experience of self. My description at the time was my entire being was orgasmic although not sexual. This took place three years before I had heard of kundalini. I tried to create this many times after that and for perhaps 15 years I could only come close. I had not done any emotional work during this period. I did not even see the need as I regarded emotions as a weakness. I did however have a constantly increasing subtle level of bliss. Now I am very comfortable and detached from the constant pain from old injuries and the constant bliss for loss of a better word. You stated that the degree of power behind awakening might have something to do with my lack of emotional healing at the time. At this time in my life after many years of healing I live in silence in the vast majority of time and need only close my eyes and focus for a few minutes before the energy takes over and my physical being is such a small portion of my being that intellect as silent observer cannot detect a body or control it's functions, as I go into deathlike states coming back after many hours. I am completely incapable of functioning in the mundane during these times not even being capable of sitting. I have learned to avoid the conflicting needs of survival by only doing this while lying down and immediately finding a seclude place when the occasional spontaneous unstoppable sensations of an unwelcome expansion. During one episode when this came on uninvited in a public place I was sitting next to four EMTs who tried to revive me and pronounced me dead. My point is if this intensity of expansion is happening many years after my emotional healing and does not appear to me related. Descriptions of awakening by others bears a strong resemblance of the energy and bliss before the dramatic expansion of self in what I call awakening. I do not have any desire to have a conflict here, just your explanation does not fit. Perhaps if you will define the definitions of your sanskrit terms I will find more commonality. I do not use shakti because the life force is neither feminine nor masculine and though I do agree that an incredible force comes up the spine I believe this is the life force accessing through the reproductive channels and supper energizing the intellect. Chakras holds little interest for me. There are and I do experience energy centers in the areas described as chakras and I do consciously energize them but other then their being collections for emotional storage , once emotions are cleared I find focus on them to be unimportant. Divine experience is felt as the individual surrenders up their individuality and divine energy of the universe is felt as the oneness of the life force experiences it and not as the individual. In other words, Lets put ourselves in the shoes of an individual cell of the body and our awareness of that being who we are. As a cell we suddenly realize through some dramatic emotional incident that we are more then or limited understanding of being fed by blood and bathed by lymph fluid with a circle of neighboring cells who have a common belief what their life is all about. When one of us dies we create another of ourselves complete with the emotional belief of the original cell. Suddenly we are feeling through the experience of the whole human and we expand our emotional take to be the emotional take of the human we are just a small piece of although imbued with the same life force. This life force has considerable control of matter being essentially the same energy Witness the animation of the body or manifestation in the physical world. The awareness and power of the life force is confined to the planet Earth and only with concentrated effort of the masses is even that control accomplished with little control outside over such things as meteors and other stars or even our own. Following this line of logic the life force is the brains behind all life but only a subset of energy of mater as a whole. No matter what we feel from the feelings of the individual or in an expanded state feeling as the life force, the energy of the sun or even the oceans and wind is without compassion for life even though without this energy life would no longer exist. Kundalini provide energy for self realization and is not the realization itself as the example of Zen you gave would indicate. Perhaps I am so blended with kundalini I should use another word for what I am living with. I hope this explanation helps. I have no intention of making this sound unattainable for others or comparing their path to my own. I just wish to share what is happening in the best way I can explain it.

Hi Tao Bums, Let me introduce myself. My name is Guy Johnson, (and my partner who helps me write is Katrina.) I was born October 06 1950. I have had a fully awakened kundalini for over thirty years and the wild ride of healing and divine knowledge from this on-going event is more then I wish to write at this moment. I have spent my life primarily as a carpenter, designing and building houses and wooden ships. The oneness of expanding into the tools, materials, and product is my daily food. Being, and the richness of the moment, is my drink. Katrina offers the wild side of sensuality and supersensitivity whilch allows my process to be humbled and gentle and to acknowledge the feminine in our growth. None of the time I spend in the divine energy is in the world of verbal thought. Society and all its inventions (religion, written language, speech and culture) are not divine. Judgement and money are the inventions of man, forces which allow and have allowed him to exercise control. Money is the most important God to all but a few. Our culture has been historically designed to recognize our differences only, and is essentially opposed to the Divine and the state of "Being," in that it has no way to recognize the unity of all. We are all one. Every living cell is a divine, separate entity with a full emotional life, and in various combinations, these individual cells agree to bond together to make up living species. A human's cells live and die within the body, but the life force of the whole continues. The process of the living and dying, and rebirth and the passing on of genetic information (which includes ancestral emotional history) continues as long as the organism survives or procreates... it is witnessed as we pass our emotional history on to our children. The energy of all humans form an Oversoul, in the same way that our own life force is formed by our own cells. All living species have this dynamic existence. The Ego represents the interest of the individual, and identifies with our differences, and is detatched from the knowledge of Oneness. It alone creates the world's havoc. So as not to create more havoc, let me define Ego as I see it. First, the Ego is the verbal self. Language, and everything communicated through speech, writing, or the memory bank, evolves through that medium defined as the intellect's definition of "Self. " It is the most obvious manifestation of Ego. The internal library which carries all the visual scenes of our earthly existence, and Ego-allowing reruns of the past, which is important in the Ego's role of reinforcing self- image. Our emotional history, both from the immediate life-history and the inherited, past-life, emotional history, combine to form our basic personality. This part of the is Ego is that which most of us believe is unchangeable. In order for a human to evolve to a state of enlightment, the Ego must shift, allowing a change in how it defines itself. All three catagories must be dealt with. I find the best first step is to find the space between words, or a form of meditation. I advocate meditation without a mantra. A mantra occupies the intellect and allows easy access to an altered state. However, when the intellect is occupied, intellect best serves the process of being. It becomes a passive, but fully aware, observer of the exploration of the inner self. The human intellectualual fallicies of judgement and differentiation do not exist in a silent mind. They are replaced by the beautiful, loving energy of divination within. A danger that resides here is that the Ego attaches to the experience of the Divine Energy and identifies itself as Divine, without the emotional healing of the human state having occurred beforehand. Behavior, or use of divine energy, and knowledge are then tainted by the interpretation of the Ego who is ruled by unhealed emotions. In the case of an awakened kundalini, the individual can use female energy to enhance male energy, but cannot be fully be in touch with, or enhance the feminine with the male energy. The unbalanced Guru has awsome personal power, but in truth is nothing if not balanced by his female side. The emotional world must be examined with a clear intellect. Damaged emotional responses need to be identified, relived, and felt on a cellular level, and then released to spirit. An acknowledgement that PROCESS is the key to love, (not purification of the self, or ego, or being) sets one free to the flow and life/love of the feminine. A freed emotional being is grounded, and the freed emotions become the tenticles of awareness of the world. The individual is free to be grounded so he/she can become fully integrated with the feminine/dark/processing/universal aspects of self. This step has been the most difficult for me, and I still am presented with its glitches. The visual record, without the noise of the intellect constantly defining itself and preventing self-examination, fades and loses importance. Enlightenment is not the destruction of Ego, but rather surrendering one's Ego to the Soul and the Soul's Divine purpose. The role of the intellect becomes one of service, with an awareness that the Ego is not Soul, but a passive observer and helpmate, honed and skillful in its role of liasson between physical reality and Soul energy. The Ego is not the enemy of enlightment, but a beautiful instrument to be tuned, designed and played to your liking. We can release our souls from the prison of our beliefs. Without the walls that confine us, we can soar and expand into universal truth. To know the divine is to know that we know nothing. This is why a truly enlightened soul is humbled in awe. Here, our knowledge is unified, speechless, simply a state of "being". All beings, enlightened or otherwise, are limited by their personal ability to surrender their traditions, heal their emotions, and entrust their beliefs to the Divine. In honor of the tradition of knowing that less and may be more, I am aware that much may still be revealed to me which makes this diatribe we write today old, or obsolete. I hold no attachment to that process, should it be revealed. Just, today, as we write, are we aware that the very speaking of what we understand, may shift the knowledge to some new plane. And in honor of the light that takes it onward, remain in awe of that process. Guy and Katrina

answers, The space between words I use as the internal dialog although that does not exclude writing or speaking which would be defined as a subset of the interior dialog. The idea of achieveing silence of my mind came while watching an infant palaying with toys. The child was obviously thinking and was also too young to be formulating her thoughts into words. From this I realized that I was unaware of my own capacity to think without words but that I had at one time in my life been able to do so. I experimented with different techniques. All those that were will orientated in that I was attempting to will silence, were ineffective. What worked was grasping the thought, at any given moment, in my mind and holding the thought still foe as long as I could. The thought would disappear after a short duration. The imediate observable change was that instead of having a stream of thoughts which is the ususl experince, the new thought was unrelated to the previos thoughts. Concentrating on holding the thought was breaking the sycle of a stream of related thinking. I continued this experince for a few weeks of dedicated practice. I was slowing the the transition between thoughts and I began to notice a sensation of pleasurable energy between the unrelated thoughts or mental images. This is what I refer to as the space between words and when this energy experinced in the space between words was grasped with the will I experince a rapid increase of both intensity and pleasure. This energy I realized was pre verbal thought in the form of light and could be experinced simutainiously as intense pleasure and wisdom through insights. I did not use a mantra or other technique to occupy my mind so I experinced while being fully intellectualy aware. Without words a number of observable changes in experince takes place. There does not exist a format to judge others while maintaining a silent mind. Secondly there are not beliefs as beliefs are a function of ego and language. Third emotional triggers are not activated by beliefs, only events trigger these emotional behavior patterns. Without intellect being ocupied by a stream of verbal thoughts awareness of triggers is achieved and with this awareness and allowing the emotion to come up and be experinced the entire behavior is let go. Karma plays an intricate roll similar to the chicken and the egg syndrome. Meditation is a key to awakening kundalini through the abiliy to explore ones inner energy with a conscious yet silent mind. A silent mind is not judging but is aware and astute, consequently time spent in silence will likely bring a stream of insights into knowing ones self. This clear silent mind can identify and through concentration increase kundalini awakening and perhaps achieve that rare event of a complete awakening. While we are going through the process of awakening our energy our emotional repetitive behavior becomes evident and very demanding of time and energy. Exploring the emotional dark side does not feel like anything that might lead to an existence in samadhi but with careful awareness and surrender one can allow the stored energy behind emotional patterns to surface and by allowing, through letting go of the fear of death the emotional memory stops having control over one's habits and behaviors. Karma is an attempt at understanding behavior and events that follow throughout ones life. An emotional memory causes us to make repetitive choices with similar or even spiraling consequnces that appear to be unescapable. Since emotional memory is stored in the DNA, these emotional patterns are often inherited, as well as being a product of the individuals personal emotional history, and are reinforced through the patterns of the parents and family behavior. Some enlightened beings have used their energy to heal their emotional body and thereby freeing these capacities to feel for such work as physcic gifts. Others live without feeling anything except bliss but though they experince divine oneness they do not experince life. The intellect does not feel and living just in the male energy is very excepted but only half of the potential for an Enlightened Being. Generaly a sensitive being would feel that this person was ungrounded because they are not connected to the mother or life force energy. Enlightenment or a full kundalini awakening is an oportunity to heal ones DNA of the pain left over from thousands of years and is an evoultionary step for mankind and is referred to as burning ones Karma. One can heal ones emotions and create a conducive environment for awakening Kundalini or one can awaken ones kundalini and use the energy to heal the emotions. The variations are endless. Peace Guy "find the space between words". Do you mean the words of your own internal dialogue, the spoken words you use, the spoken words you hear others use, or all of the above? I really like this perspective. It drops the compulsive "getting somewhere" aspect that I think it's easy to get caught up in on the path as a seeker. This line also resonates strongly with my own beliefs.