freeform

thanks Mat!

well it feels like a part of you was intuitive enough to notice that the job was no good - and it was so bad that it got you into hospital (when the body sends messages, but you don't listen, it will start using pain - a message that you can't ignore!) The funny thing is that the hospital trip got you out of this job - so that intuitive part was successfull. It's fine to be angry about what happened - but you may want to stop for a moment and just appreciate that there is a part of you that led you to a whole new direction. Even if the journey was painful, where you are now is more beneficial than when you were before. There is something important to consider with law of attraction, and it's that in the beginning it's hard to know exactly what you want - I mean you'll have desires and ideals and wants and fantasies, but these all come from a place that wants to be satisfied by something from the outside - like a kid who wants sweets - attempting to satisfy these desires will just lead you round in circles, and then make you crash and you'd be left as empty and unsatisfied as ever... but it's not all bad news - in fact from what you describe, it seems that things are really starting to go well for you - because you've already experienced a part of you that knows intuitively what is really beneficial and nourishing for you. It's the elusive obvious - it's not a part of you that 'thinks', so don't try and think your way out of your situation - it's a part of you that feels - you know when you get the feeling that something is correct? That's the feeling... just follow that. Do what feels right. And I mean what physically feels right, not what you mentally decide is right. Have a look for jobs, whilst being in touch with this intuitive part - if you get a good feeling about a job, apply and see what happens. Dont over-think things, just follow your intuition, if you feel moved to do something, then do it - this is how you become 'lucky'. now! Do you feel lucky? Because from what you wrote, it seems that your luck muscle is flexing full force - so just let go, relax and allow it to lead you to... wherever feels right. doesn't it?

I know exactly what you mean about the drain of ejaculation - I wouldn't consider myself a 'part time cultivator' - I'm very pragmatic with my cultivation, and if my personal experience dictates something that is different from other masters' experiences then I will stick to my own. Yes ejaculation depletes a certain kind of energy - certainly masturbation is good enough evidence. However if you experience powerfull orgasmic sex with a woman who is relatively 'uncluttered' and you yourself can 'let go' on a deep level, the yin nourishment you get can be far more beneficial than that bit of extra spunk that you save up. Sometimes the effect of one powerfull orgasm is worth a month of deicated, daily cultivation. Also how old are you? it shouldn't take you so long to recover if you're under 50. I know that many schools of cultivation follow this agricultural principle of gathering a store of energy. Ofcourse it's a personal oppinion, but I think that's an outdated way of looking at it. I know - what a blasphemy! I'm sure some of you will gasp in horror - how could he defy the amazingness of this or that master (and btw - I've been told that this 'agricultural' principle is often discarded when you're initiated into more advanced practices) I create 'spaciousness' - which correlates with 'capacity' - I assume access to limitless amount of energy - it's easy to build and collect post-natal qi - much harder to open yourself up for the pre-natal to come through strongly. I'm not condoning lustily spreading your sperm all over the world - There are times I ejaculate during sex and there are times when I dont, my body seems to know exactly what to do and when to do it... if I actually think back over the past few years, I usually ejaculate only about once every 3 - 4 weeks (and have sex much more often). If you do have sex anytime soon, remember that 'awakened' sexual energy multiplies exponentially whatever is there (and if what is there is a belief that you'll be depleted then expect that to be multiplied thousands of times)... just a suggestion, maybe you'll find something nourishing there...? And ofcourse dormant/stored sexual energy is multiplying what's already there just more quietly - this includes all the shadow aspects of yourself, and all the egocentric aspects of yourself - whether you circulate and refine or not. I'm still puzzled how your assumption of death and rebirth comes from personal experience...?

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First: Then: These two don't add up for me... I must admit that my own personal journey is very very different from yours, mwight - so what I write below reflects that... so no offence, I just feel like the thread needs a counter-example to your view. Firstly I don't think that women always rob a man of his energy - it's very mamalian to think of energy as some kind of finite resource that you have to hoard, then guard and protect from people that want to steal it off you... this sort of mentality sets up quite an egocentric set of hoops for yourself and others to jump through and it will certainly attract the kind of people and energies that thrive on it... I dont see sexuality and desire as something to overcome by strength of will - this sets up yet another game for you to waste your time on... how can I put it?... a pendulum swings back and forth - you're never going to stop it unless you delude yourself that you have done so... The delusion is far more damaging than living an ordinary unacomplished life. Sexuality, desire, this hoarding mentality, ego etc are all aspects to be integrated rather than ignored or gotten rid of. Becoming present and in the moment allows you to notice the spaciousness of your true self - that contains everything and excludes nothing - allowing it to be cooked in the cauldron. These things need to be dived into deeply rather than seen as impurities - the elixir lies in the depth of you as you are (with all your impurities and all your problems and all your talents). So unsurprisingly I completely disagree that a woman always depletes my energy - certainly if the scarcity/hoarding mentality is the ruling aspect - sex and in fact anything else in life can only ever deplete you. Being with a woman is like being in the world - unpredictable, both painful and pleasurable and I wouldn't have it any other way - because any other way is just imagination. Sex is quite a yin practice - it's like a dance - there is always circulation of energy (like the 8 ) - and ofcourse the peoples' current energies and states dictate whether the sex is depleting or fulfilling. (sexual energy amplifies whatever is there already!) Most men have a profound wound that forces them to mistrust the yin aspect - so we construct our safe little world arround us to protect us from the unpredictability of living in a yin universe. Conversly women have a deep mistrust of yang. These wounds create the world we live in today... Running away from it and hiding out in seclusion is one escape - the other way is not an escape at all, but requires you to become so big and so spaceous that you contain all of it with absolute presence. The taoist way is to cultivate heaven, earth and humanity - no relationships = no humanity and you become a 'demon' - a powerfull person trapped in a perpetual cycle playing the simple games that our egos love to play... Both pleasure and pain can nourish you - and relationship is the way for that. (I dont necessarily mean intimate relationship - a sincere smile to a stranger can form a powerfull burst of nourishing energy.) Anyway - I'll stop now...

Yes! the most immediate thing you can do is excersise. And if he's feeling energetic and strong, that's the best place to start. He can tailor his workouts to do drills that open up the spine and front channels (eg. back bridge) and work the pelvis. I personally recomend Sonnon's stuff (flowfit and intuflow) - I find it the most appropriate sort of modern physical excersise for cultivators. Later he might like to start circulating the energy, although it will naturally circulate to a certain extent with a good excersise routine.

I agree with Karen and wanted to add that I personally pay little attention to what is actually said, and much more so to how it is said and the person that's saying it. How aware are they? how busy is their mind? where does your own attention naturally jump to when you're with them? how do their eyes move? how present are they? how able are they to go internal and then external? how do you feel in your self when with them? (do you feel scattered? safe? centered? attacked? protected? abandoned? etc) I also notice how they breathe, how they move/walk - when they speak is the attention and energy on the words or on the spaces between the words? what is their range of sensory vocabulary? (this shows whether they are belly, heart or head centered or balanced). How 'edited' does their communication feel? - as in do they think about what they are going to say? or do you feel they have a pre-prepared speech? or is the dialogue spontaneous and unedited? etc etc etc It all seems hard to pick up - you really need to be in the moment to notice these things - but they are all there and very obvious once you let go of the mind and allow you attention to be focused externally and on them. This also applies to both the teacher and the high-level students...

Karen - great post, you brought something new to the table. I completely agree about the resonance vs attraction - and the 'higher reason', I'm curious about. mYTHmAKER, I actually agree with your general guidelines - but there are still exeptions when you use instinct. If Taoist sages can follow the movement of stars and planets with their bodies, we can definately cultivate a sensitivity for what's good for us in the moment. The way I was introduced to it was through kinesiology. It's a way to bypass the ego, and recieve communication straight from the body. You hold a substance and test if you go weak or strong as a result - it's very clear, and for me worked amazingly. (I was tested with a blindflod and consistently went weak when there was white spirit or some other poison put in front of me). This is like a helpful crutch - after being tested hundreds of times I would begin to notice subtle internal differences between when it was poisonous or nutritious. So we carried on testing subtly different foods, to develop the sensitivity (rather, I think the sensitivity was already there, it was just a way of learning to make it conscious - unmasking it). Eventually I stopped using the normal kinesiology method and developed my own (one I wouldn't need a partner for) - I would hold a substance up to my belly and and just let go internally - I would then feel a slight pull towards the substance or a slight push away from it - I actually rocked a little on my feet. So I would go into health food shops and test everything I could. After a while I didn't rock anymore, the push and pull was felt internally. Later still I didn't need to put the food in front of my belly, I could just hold it... later still I could get a 'reading' from just being near the food and now I can just think of a food and take a reading. This is not some special skill - I have a feeling that it's an innate capacity that is never excersised and so we lose the consciousness of this sensitivity. The pull and push is very subtle and internal, it is so easy to miss. Having prescribed, objective diets stunts this ability even more - we start using the mind to work out what's good for the body - the body, meanwhile, being the gentle soul that it is never shouts, but always whispers its message, and ofcourse the obnoxious, loud mind drowns out the message pretty easily. (untill you get ill!) The interesing thing I found when testing was that one thing can be a pull one day and then can be a push the next - it even sometimes changes in the same day. Testing vitamins and suppliments was also interesting - most of them tested bad. Many of what's considered 'bad' (sweets, some processed foods, things that arent fresh) sometimes test good! Oh and another thing - I found that you had to be properly hydrated for this to work - if you are dehydrated everything tests bad - I'm guessing because you need water first. Is this way of eating infallible? - no. Sometimes it's hard to close in on the sensation, especially when the mind is over-active (which happens by default in most supermarkets... there might be a reason for that!!) It also takes much longer to shop - one tomato can test good whilst another from the same basket can test bad etc. And in certain situations you just have no choice - so you test 'not eating' and you test 'eating the airplane food', and see which one is the least damaging. And ofcourse it's still a struggle going against the grain, trying to be in the body and aware and sensitive, whilst everyone around you is resonating differently and dragging you in that direction with them...

Mantis - there isn't anything that is definitively good or bad for you.... it just doesn't work like that - there is what you injest and what effect it has on you... Some would say crude oil is bad for you - to me that's a value judgement and takes you away from reality - I suspect if you down a pint of crude oil, you'll die - that's the effect that crude oil has on you in that quantity... many food colourings are made from crude oil derivatives, and we still eat and drink them. There is no good and bad - there is just an effect on your body - and it's subjective... listen to what others before you have said about the effects of certain foods and try them yourself and see what effects they have on you, this takes awareness and discipline - eating can be a form of chi kung if the awareness is on your body. If you do this properly, then your body will crave exactly the sort of things that you need (as long as the awareness is on the physical body, not the mind or the emotions!!!) - you may crave meat, you may even crave a huge chocolate cake, you may crave a frutarian diet (I doubt it - it's a very 'mental' diet, as is hard core veganism) - just trust your body, it knows far more than your little self and your limited mind does. [edit] Just checked back after I wrote the last post and noticed that Craig wrote almost the same advice at almost the same time! A coincidence like that is always worth exploring!!

I've found borage oil to have a very significant effect on my libido.

Oh yeah - Saul Williams - forgot about that guy, I saw him at a festival doing poetry to some great breakbeat - his lyrics are all alchemical. great stuff

There is hip hop and there is hip hop. I used to love it when I was younger. Then it all got way too much - far too commercial and very fake. Listening back to the old-school hip hop that I used to love - it was more about your story and making your mark. now it's about just one story - getting very rich and trying to seem grounded, which is a joke. If you look hard enough you can still find hip hop with soul - whether full of anger or with a mellow, happy outlook. I remember listening to these guys rapping about all this esoteric stuff - Ill try find the name for you. At the moment british hip hop is more real imo - check out Dizee Rascal There is no good or bad music - just notice how it affects your body, your emotions and your mind... then let the body decide

It's kind of hard to put my question into words, but I'll try. Is it a worthy aim to merge with the void?... in the sense that the void is everything and nothing in one go and you merging with it would mean no you, no void, no one observing the void - what Paul and Aiwei generally seem to point to. My feeling is that this is not what I'm looking for. Not that I'm drawn to be separate from the void... more like being individuated, but of the void. words fail me, but might be interesting to explore...

Hi mantis - thanks for the link. The problem with studies - and basing your lifestyle on studies is that they're never completely accurate. For example the main study the article in that link cited was based on a huge study of heavy red and processed meat eating populations - you have to have at least two big portions of red or processed meat per day, every day to qualify. If there was a similar study done on people eating large quantities of processed meat-replacement products (usually made from soy) then it's likely that there would be some health problems. There was also a study on consuming high dosages of vitamin C that showed a link with the vit c and bowel cancer. Then there are other studies that contradict it and show that high dosages of vit c actually reduces cancer. So who do you trust? No one except your body. You said: "a healthy body will tell you what it needs to remain healthy while an unhealthy body will tell you what it needs to remain unhealthy." That's a very good observation - and you will notice that the ones that are unhealthy are not actually listening to their bodies, but trying to shut their bodies up. Some people call this emotional eating - you eat to sustain or supress emotions. It's much harder to deal with the emotion than to 'treat' it by eating - so people tend to live their life like that. Your observaiton is true if you define an unhealthy body as one full of unresolved traumas and emotional patterns and therefore unconsciousness. When I say listen to your body to decide what to eat, people always say: so how about kids - if I left them to eat anything they liked they would eat only sweets. and similarly adults will only eat unhealthy, tasty food. Listening to the body is a forgotten art. Emotion tends to express as 'feeling' in the body - so people think that's listening to the body - but they're actually listening to emotion. You can try it yourself - what does it feel like when you want to eat something really sweet? There is a specific feeling - for me this feeling is like a hole that needs to be filled and is located between my throat and my heart. If you stay with that feeling for a few minutes, patiently, you may start to discover that there is a memory behind it - I have a specific one of my grandma giving me ice cream because I was upset. So I observe all feelings and eventually I'm starting to be able to differentiate between feelings that come from the past (emotions, traumas, habitual patterns etc) and feelings that come from 'now'. I can tell when I'm hungry because my body needs food, and I can tell when I feel like eating something 'tasty' so that I feel better. Not eating meat so that you feel less guilty, or more morally upright is the same sort of emotional eating. I dont deny that for some people it's far better not to eat meat, and that's great - in fact I havent had meat for about a week, I hadn't even realised untill now. I may eat meat tomorrow I may never eat meat ever again, I'm open to the possibility of either, and it's not even a concern for me. (even if I stopped eating meat, I wouldn't call myself a vegetarian). Mantis - it's great to have some maturity from you, in contrast to Primal Unity Oh and Taoist81 - thanks, I couldn't bring myself to start writing why 'vegetarianism = spirituality' is so ridiculous...

Oh dear... why are you getting so worked up? It's a great ratio you chose - 10 to 1 - if it wasn't plucked out of your imagination, I'm sure it would be useful to know where that statistic actually came from. You claim it's a waste of land to farm cattle, then you give dairy as one of the main sources of protein. And again it would be great to see this definitive evidence of obesity, cancer and heart desease that is linked directly to eating meat. Dr Weston Price did a lot of research on the diets of healthy natives. All of them ate meat from healthy animals. And this is the key, imo. Meat is and should be an expensive comodity - you shouldn't be able to buy a chicken for $3. Witch mentioned the fats, and you can get these from meat and seafood - especially the parts we tend to throw away (organ meats) - I wouldn't eat organ meat from an intesively farmed animal. I've seen animals getting slaughtered - several times... In the wrong hands, I'm sure it's quite harrowing, but if you know what you're doing the animal is killed very swiftly and with no fear or much pain. I've also seen a dog maul a rabbit... It's quite funny that you see 'deffensive schemes' in my posts. In fact if you re-read my posts, I generally take your generalizations and distorted logic and reflect it back to you, in the hopes that you see your own aggressive defensiveness. Did I ever even say that humans have no emotion? or that cabbages do? Please learn to read in a calm way, that way you wont have your own emotions and hangups muddying the clarity. You seemed to give a lot of scientific - sounding and logical-looking arguments for why you're a vegetarian and I gave you counter arguments. I'm not defending my meat eating, I'm just trying to expose your faulty assumptions and generalizations - which as it turns out was a silly idea - nevermind I eat meat because it feels right in every way. If it so happens that this desire leaves (like Myth's excellent poem demonstrates) naturally then I'll stop - and I've stopped several times already - and just how the desire left, it later came back. I'm willing to follow my body's lead - and I'm certainly not following other people's convoluted egos - whether devout meat-eaters or vegetarians.

Meaning is most often just 'stories' - you know when a film says it's based on a true story? that's what meaning is - ofcourse 'true story' is an oxymoron - because a story is a linear interpretation of experienced events - always distorting, deleting and generalizing - it can never be true - it's only a story. Storys are for entertainment - once you take them seriously they become dangerous (because you take on all the deletions, distortions and generalizations). The closer you can stay to your senses, the more 'true' your story is. But it can never be absolutely true... there's always that 20% of humanness in it... I'm not down playing the importance of meaning and stories - it's how we 'capture' information and then communicate it - just that people mistake the stories for the real thing, and then we get movies that are based on a true story It's always interesting to check internally when you make meanings and stories - "that facial expression means he disaproves"... you take that story and you lose the words (say it again in your mind, with full meaning and emotion, but only use the word blah) - notice where in your body you feel the meaning coming from and pay attention to that feeling. You'll get a sense of whether this meaning is coming from a belief (formed from past experiences) or from your body in real time. Most people will find most of their stories come from past beliefs... after some work you can start to get meanings directly from the body in real time - this is what intuition is... Intuition is medicine for meaning... intuitive meaning is the type of meaning that is connected with your body (the earth). I think Taomeow's reply is also interesting.

Yup - was too lazy to check for the reference... "Chopping down the Amazon rainforest to plant soybean crops is more detrimental to the climate than clearing space to graze cows. Fields of soybean reduce rainfall dramatically, over four times as much as pastureland." - from the April issue of New Scientist - you can buy the full research article here: Climate change in Amazonia caused by soybean cropland expansion, as compared to caused by pastureland expansion There was another article I was thinking about when I wrote the above post about the damage that soybean crops cause to soil, but I cant find it - I'll add the article if I manage to find it. Also I'm not suggesting that we cut down more of the amazon for beef - I actually think meat should be far more expensive and proportionally more healthy and sustainable.

Talking about dancing and qi gong - has anyone checked out 5 rhythms? It's like a formless 5 element dance. I've heard some fantastic reviews of the work... it's like modern qi gong.

Most vegitarians and especially vegans use a lot of soya - which is one of the most damaging crops for the environment. Clearing a forest to create grassland for grazing has much less of a negative effect than clearing the same space for growing soya. Harming yourself? I'm sorry that's not necissarily true - Many mongolians eat mostly meat (bread, sometimes rice and ofcourse dairy) - hardly any vegetables - since most of their diet is based on meat (breakfast is usually lamb) they should all be dying out because meat is so harmful - right? Cabbages don't have fear? how do you know? how do you know that animals have emotions? Science is unwilling to recognise and define emotion in humans, let alone in animals. How could you possibly say with certainty that a cabbage doesn't have some simple form of emotion? I have nothing against vegetarianism - I'm all for it in fact, but only if it comes from an inner calling - a physical sense that eating no meat is good for you, for now, and a continuing awareness to see if it might be good to start to eat meat again. Any mental rules and logic has to always be checked inside with your body. It's a sad case that people decide to change their diet and look for 'reasons' for doing it - karma, health, environmental damage etc. Follow your body's need and you dont ever have to 'be a vegetarian' - you just might stop eating meat untill you start eating meat again - the same with grain, wheat, fish, soya - whatever. The self righteousness of many vegetarians comes from this act of using ideas, 'logic', thought and external 'reasons' for not eating meat. I've noticed that any form of mental control over the body produces this kind of evangelical, belief-based righteousness. Think of any religion that has strict rules... That's why I enjoy the body first approach of Taoism. The body is far wiser than any idea, thought or concept - because it's perpetually in the now, and able to asses it's needs far more accurately and with constant feedback.

Yes - I second that! Karen is seriously great and very erudite in health matters. The personal practice journal is a great idea. And stopping feeling like a victim is an even better one! Some good can definately come of this.

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I think I've mentioned the oils before (x-factor butter oil and good quality cod-liver oil) - I bought these for my grandad for his heart and his heart did improve a little although he still has high blood pressure (his terrible breathing pattern doesn't help) - but he noticed a dramatic difference in his ease of movement and his joints - his artheritis wasn't painful and he felt much more mobile. My grandmother (on the other side) had a brittle bone problem so she got cod liver oil and I got her some fulvic minerals - this improved her bone conditions a lot and getting better - she also felt more mobile and her arthiritis wasn't bothering her and still doesn't (2 years on). I've heard people have great results with glucosamine too... In terms of excersise I'd recommend going straight to the joints with scott sonnon's intuflow - it's one of my favourite practices. It takes maximum 30 minutes to do the whole thing. I take 20. Give your joints a light slapping afterwards. I'd also do Some sort of energy practice Donna Eden's energy routine is very quick (5 mins), simple and far reaching. If you have more time you should invest in a good form you'll stick to... I really enjoy your presence here

I tend to agree on the smell side - not sure about bread, but cheese, onions, garlic, spices, asparagus, even alcohol and meat too. Admitedly I have a really good sense of smell (my Armenian nose helps ) But I can also smell out a linguistic double bind. A doble bind works like this: "if x=y then x must also = a" - used a lot by politicians - the idea here is if you accept one side of the equation (you smell of what you eat) then you're in a bind to accept the other side of the equation (you incarnate into what you ate). I'm in no way saying it's untrue or true - just pointing out the glaring fault in logic. This is one of my BS (belief system) detectors. Experientially speaking I can tell the difference in my body when I eat a lot of meat and when I eat only vegetables. At the moment I'm at a good balance (for me) of eating meat once or twice a week, mostly free range and organic (from a butcher, rather than a supermarket). I can see how being on a vegetable diet would be benificial at a certain point - but not because I'm worried about turning into a cow.

Not sure what you mean here - are you talking about re-incarnation or something? Your animal nature is the lower realm - it's the lower tan tien - it's connected to the earth and earthly wisdom - it's where inuition comes from. Shamans used to journey to the lower realm and find their power animal - which would protect them and enable their tribe to hunt and gather plenty of food.