Pietro

good morning Ian, Sometimes you make love to, sometimes you make love with, and sometimes you are being made love to. Like saying that I can prepare you a nice meal, we can prepare it together, or you can prepare it to me. I used 'to' because I am yang, thus I am often the active side. But you always have all three. And often in each love session. Saying that the yang side is the only one getting the glory and the satisfaction is imprecise. If I make (so in this example I am being the active yang side making love to) a woman feel very good, I might get some satisfaction, but only in the measure she is getting it too. If I were to have a woman making love to me, doing her best to make me feel good, you would say that she is the one getting the satisfaction? I don't believe so. So I think you are going out of your way to show I am being wrong. I think this has nothing to do with my argument but with some preconceived notions you have about me and my ways with women. Am I wrong? Edit: iPhone grammar issues solved

Yes, we disagree. From my pov the complexity of the relation IS the reality. With the various levels dancing. Or maybe I am able to make love to a woman without requesting from her the need to be perfect, and from the relationship to be perfectly fitting.

because in the cinema you are running away from reality, in a sexual relation you are embracing it.

Hi Ian, I'm on the iPhone, so I'll be brief. There is always this problem in dividing between true and false. It's like an allornothing. Since you can't have it all you start with nothing. You risk never to start because you are never pure enough. The teacher is never good enough, the girl never perfect enough, and the meditation room silent enough. But those are the starting points. In short I have consistently found out that all or nothing has been a failure strategy in my life. If instead of living in a discrete Boolean world of 0 and 1 we live in a continuous space we can reach our aim through continuous approximation. The woman who only gives herself to the True Yang will die virgin, probably out of ovarian cancer. And all this because she confused the inner world with the outer world. Peace to all the human beings

Now JEN, you don't come to a taoist forum, expecting us not to brag. We all brag. We are able to have more orgasms than our women, and we give them a lot. As my gf said to her girlfriends before we were together: "You need to try the taoist before you die!" I stand corrected (I bet you never expected me to say this )

Pushpull is an art. Among people that do not know each other: The aim of the pushpull is to have sex with a person. The fact that this person might find part of the process annoying is irrelevant. One way the person solves this annoyance is by walking away. Another is by having sex with you. You still have risen your percentage of success, sometimes from 0% to 50%. Hey that is great! But then it can be done in many ways, and even after you have learned it it takes a lifetime to master it. At some point you will have a partner, you still will use it, but by mastering it you will learn not to make someone annoyed, but just to awaken them from their boredom and torpor. But we shouldn't be the ones to teach you this. Girls learn this automatically, it's in their genes. It is just males who are so retarded that need to have it spelled out.

Yep, look under Madonna/Whore complex.

Thanks for having resurrected this thread. I kept on researching on this topic in the meantime. I just would like to point out that the author of the TED talk presented a book. The book is available in audio format, and if you are happy with that can be illegally downloaded from piratebay (or was it gigapedia?). In any case it is really good. It deepens the whole issue, what is just a mirage during the TED talk becomes facts, and concepts. The book is easy to find, the title has the word "happiness" inside ;-) Daniel Gilbert: Stumbling on Happiness

You heard me, mate. Some people act because they want to reach immortality, some people act because they want you not to reach immortality, and some people just act. I can't help it's my destiny, my call, my dance. Com'on buddy, we'll have some fun; Give me 6 months to prepare the software: It's going to be in python+mysql; Spartane, non standard (and thus no spam). And a new engine inside that I have been thinking all along all those years. You're up with me, Max?

In a thread I asked Cat if she could bring out the RJ in her. And she did. Everybody enjoyed it, and Max called us fool, claiming that Cat actually is RJ. Under a fake identity. For those who don't know, this discussion board was once inhabited by a wild man who used as nome de plume Ron Jeremy. He would SPEAK IN CAPS LOCK, mispell everything, make a lot of innuendo, or very vulgar claims, and still manage to have a lot of insights in his posts. He was pretty much universally loved and suffered. Eventually he crossed the line; he offended the webmaster girlfriend, and was kicked off. Leving aside those historical data that are necessary to bring everybody up to speed. What I find interesting was that: We all seem to like a bit of wilderness, provided it is not too much. It is a bit like having a zoo, or a park. We want to see the wild beasts. We want to see the lion roar. But then we want to go back to our safe and secure life. I am not saying this is wrong. I am just observing. So far. Then I notice two other thread. Both about sex drive. One on how to increase female sex drive, and the other how to increase male sex drive. I like it because it looks quite balanced. And then when you read the threads it looks like the people who suffer from low sex drive are quite normal. I mean they don't have much desire for sex, but from the vague description they are not described as being disabled by this. And I go hmmmmm. And I think of RJ, of Cat.

hmm, me for example. Never liked the sensation of teeth on the shaft. So putting it all together: either this guy is secretly masturbating (I don't know him, but statistically is very common), or he has depleted his deep yin for other reasons (you need to retonify, and this can take ages), or he is not interested in you (and in the previous, and the previous, and the previous), or he is not interested in women, or he is not interested in sex. Am I missing something? Of those we can only help in the first twe cases, but if he is secretly masturbating you will not be able to help him. He must decide to stop himself. I think the safest thing to do at this regard is to just let him find this url: http://www.no-porn.com/ if he has a problem he might follow the thread. And if he does not it might not mean he has no problem, he might just not be ready. if instead is a problem of depletion you need to consult someone in your area. You can after you have consulted come here and share the result, and they can be discussed. But this is as much that we as a community can do for him. And if neither of this work, and you still want to stay with him you might need to renegotiate the agreement into something that gives you more freedom.

Hi Davy, thanks for your message. I am happy that the website is working for you. Maybe not all is lost. Part of the issue is that we don't have the key to this place. The webmaster is basically missing. We can email him, but we are trying to reach a consensus so that we can all bring a request together. So yes, a High Council of Old Farts (HCOF) would solve a lot...

I find it quite intruiguing that it is always the other that are protesting for how someone is. At least in those examples. Not the guy with the low sex drive, not the girl with the low sex drive, not the RJ with the high sex drive. We all must behave and have just the right amount of sex drive. The dick must stand on attention when needed, and not get in the way for the rest. A women must be damp in the right moment. And please only then. And no swearing.

does he masturbates, and uses porn? is he very much in his mind? I have a friend who recently explained me how he was having trouble with his gf. Of a similar nature. By chatting it came out that he was totally disconnected with his body. Now he is starting some light qi gung, but it will take time to recover. In any case there is a certain percentage of men who are simply not interested in sex. The idea that we all should be interested in sex is something we are inoculated intravenously through the TV. Some people simply do not have any sexual urge. They might still have sex to reproduce, but that's about it. And the I agree on the fact that not being interested (on in the other) can really be an issue. And I shall add that being interested have nothing to do with the beauty of a girl. You would expect that the prettier a girl was the more magic there was, but in my experience this is not the case. You clarified very well that this is not the case, but someone else might be reading this, so I thought I would mention it.

Hello L1, I disagree. There was a time, and not so much time ago where people could have decent interesting discussion not related to this and that case. When the first two Tao War erupted, with the Dragon Master, there was plenty of fresh meat. And yet when the DM left, we discovered that the community was able to discuss in a civilised way without needing a single focus. When the DM came back again, and asked to join back, someone (do not ask me who, I do not remember) invited him not to do so, because of what we have achieved. Eric posted only two times that I remember of. So it is definitly possible to have a community, which is interesting, and without a single focus. Beside I found those last focus (kunlun, the master in the plastic rain coat, and so on) to be quite boring, too.

Ok, so I looked a moment on the possibilities to filter things. Part of the problem is that any change goes through Sean, and right now we don't even know where he is. But maybe if we all agree on some changes, we can convince him to do them. I have no clue what should be done to do what Ian proposed, to filter out threads. But I thought another way to filter out info you are non interested. This website releseases a constant thread of info in the internet. Its RSS. The URL of it is: http://www.thetaobums.com/index.php?act=rssout&id=1 I remember that it was me in the beginning who made a point that we neeeded an RSS. The RSS eventually was added, but the level of this RSS is really really low. I mean, there are few entries that are posted, and what is worse of each entry the data that is being released is the content of the entry, the time, but no data is being released about the author. The name of the author is not released. ANd this is not so ok. Because what I thought we could do is to set up an out of site filter, using yahoo pipes. So we sould pick the rss of this site, let it run through a yahoo pipe, each of us could set up what users do they want to see, and they make a filter that only let those users through. It is really easy. I could do it for everybody, and then everybody could copy it. Also it is bottom up, in the sense that if someone does not like my take about who to read hey can put the names they want. And of course every time you find someone that you are interested, you can just add it to the list. But as I said, all this would need that: the rss has also the author name There are more entries in the rss than just 5 The entries are updated more recently. I am pretty sure that if this site has RSS it is probably just a matter of tweaking the values in the plugin to decide all those things. SO maybe we could ask Sean. But only if we all (or many of us) agree that it is something important. Cheers, Pietro

good! I am always surprised when something you value so much is finally discovered by one of your friends. SoMetimes months after you tried in all possible ways to have them read/use it. Not all other books by DD are so good, but do checkout intimate communion. The description of the male quest is worth the price of the book!!

haven't we covered the answer to this question a million time? Can we just give the number of the answer? -:"you know, 63793248" -:"yes but, 3428923#3234" -:"you haven't considered 29219233" -:"Good point, thank you"

Ohh, finally the good ol'days. Nice Bum by the way!

Assuming all this make sense, and we can convince Sean to make such a system... Agreed... up to a point. Some people know a lot about taoism, but not enough about how to behave on the net. And they get all pissed off if someone "stole" "their" thread. It's not just about knowing stuff. But knowing what goes around in here, and similar. I don't know how to get those people up to speed in time before they get pissed off. Having everybody voting everybody, is a bit of a problem. As you can have subgroups starting to vote each other (like us ;-) ). There are plenty of literature out there on this problem. I think the key words is "trust system". I heard alot of people speaking about it, but no system that actually works. Cat, can you make a bit your interpretation of RJ. I am missing it ;-)

Hi Stig, first of all thanks for the FAQ pages Regarding me, I said it: there are many things, but to start a subsection where people have only access after a certain number of posts and months. Anything else would require programming time, and I will get involved in thinking it only if we have some sign from Sean that he is interested in letting the changes happen.