chrisjswanson

Interesting topic friends. Brought to mind chapter #50 of my translation of the Tao Te Ching: I have pondered much of my Tao Te Ching and read many translations, but my favorite thing is to hear others' ideas about what the lesson is. peace+love Chris

Hello to everyone here, I am very happy to have discovered this community. This is cross-posted from the introduction section, since I heard many here ignore that area... My name is Chris Swanson, I live in California (Silicon Valley). I'm a 25 year old guy. Briefly, I am a super pacifistic hippy type, with serious influence from Buddhist, Hindu, and especially Taoist philosophy. Since it's a big part of my life, I won't hide the fact that I choose to experiment with mind expanding drugs. I am not sure how this group will feel about that, but I will certainly be respectful and show restraint in my topics. I wanted to ask for advice from anyone in the community who may be able to help me out with a question I have. See, I've had problems with anxiety and panic, even irrational fear of death, for many years. I've taken lots of medicines, and only very addictive, short acting drugs are helpful. I have been practicing Buddhist samadhi (concentration) meditation and metta (love) meditation to relieve symptoms, however I feel there is some energy or psychic block which is causing my suffering which is not being dissolved by these practices. I decided to seriously consult the I Ching regarding an approach for relief from the root cause of my symptoms. My result was Hexagram #15, Chien (Or Modesty / Egolessness according to my translation) , with change lines at 3,4,and 5. All three change lines advise egolessness and selflessness as a path to success / resolution. The changed Hexagram is #45 Tsui (Congregation / Gathering the Essence according to my translation) From what I understand it can represent a time of peaceful and happy gathering of life. Also a time for cultivation and gathering subtle essence. --------- So my curiosity is this: Am I at least sort of using the I Ching in a beneficial manner? Is there a technique that is safe for lay practicioners which could help cultivate the aspect of egolessness? Perhaps meditation or energy visualization, or some physical movements? Thanks so much for anyone's opinions, I really respect these beliefs and I think it may be the best way to get my life back in balance. peace + love Chris

Hi everyone I'm trying to stop taking harder drugs, and I read that the California Poppy is used in TCM for safe anxiety relief. Can anyone tell me about this herb? Is it generally safe / effective or could it be dangerous to me if I don't see a TCM doctor first? I'm looking at other options too, I was just interested in this. peace + love Chris

Junbao It is great to hear someone say "you are me ten years ago" because it translates as "I have ten years of wisdom that is directly applicable to you" Therefore any advice you have will be very welcome. About those California Poppies: I made a good strong tea from them last night, since I am currently not taking harder drugs. Here are my thoughts as one who has taken many kinds of natural and synthetic drugs: The California Poppy is the natural equivalent of a benzodiazepine, the family of drug that Valium and Xanax belong to. This family of drug is the only thing that has "easily" treated my anxiety symptoms. Problem is they are maddeningly addictive. So after I drank that tea I quickly recognized the effect as being extremely similar (and yes, very helpful for me). In time I did some research, and while not that much study has been done on this plant, I did find numerous references to alkaloids that have an affinity for the BZ receptor, which is the same place benzodiazepines are active in the brain. So from what I can tell they essentially do the same thing as a good dose of valium would, although the poppy has like 300 less active compounds that probably do a lot more too. Funny thing is that everyone says benzodiazepines are addictive (I agree) and that california poppy is not (don't know yet). Any thoughts on this? peace + love Chris

It seems to me: There is that which is undivided and that which is divided. This is the tendency of opposites to support one another's existence. However, the separation between the two can only exist within the realm of that which is divided. Likewise within the undivided, division is not a valid concept. Since only within the divided realm can both exist, I argue that the ultimate truth is undivided. However we must come to terms with the fact that somehow perceived division can actually exist within what should seem to be indivisible. I think this is where the so called Ego comes in. I will not claim to understand why but I suspect what we feel as an Ego is our way of grappling with this paradox existence. Ego serves a purpose. However the functioning of Ego becomes out of harmony and leads to suffering. Through cultivation we are refining our Ego to be more in harmony. When it is perfectly in harmony, it may have the appearance of "dissolving". At this point one can accurately understand the paradox. (No I don't claim I get it) I think this view explains two things: 1st why enlightened masters of the past have not simply sat down and stopped eating. And 2nd why so many spiritual traditions advise virtuous behavior and strengthening of character as a path to liberation. This leads me to the vegetarian thing. I happen to not eat meat, and this is why: People seem to mostly live in the realm of separateness, thus I think to re balance ourself we have to get in touch with the undivided. We tend to like hard evidence. Through the practice of not doing harm to other life, we will get some hard evidence as follows: One might be skeptical, but if you stop smashing the bugs when you don't have to, you will notice that something in your life is better. On experiencing this first hand, one is more apt to realize that the reason for this is the interconnected nature of life, that when one hurts other life they hurt them self. This takes a step toward understanding the undivided, restoring balance. peace + love Chris

Thanks Junbao, I really appreciate your suggestions. I will look into these more, perhaps something will match just right for me. There's an awesome place in Santa Cruz called the Herb Room that's got tons of good medicinal herbs / supplements that I can check out. Anyone know how any of these medicines effect the body's organs from a TCM perspective? I suspect I have imbalanced my body through past drug use and am trying to begin a path that will minimize further damage. Honestly I have had such bad experiences with Western doctors that I am having a major shift towards learning about TCM. It makes more sense to me already, and I barely know anything about it. peace + love Chris

In regards to vipasanna I have looked into it and it seems like the kind of thing that really benefits from a good teacher. I will keep this suggestion in mind, thanks for the advice. It seems a very profound undertaking and I feel like I need to clean up my life a little first. Ultimately this might be exactly what I need. In regards to being attached to drugs and them causing my anxiety, maybe. I am open to the idea. I had anxiety problems before I discovered the particular drugs that eliminate anxiety for me, but it got much worse after I made the mistake of abusing those same drugs. It could be the same root cause of anxiety makes me want to use drugs. If only I had a bright light to shine in my head and see why I do the things I do... In regards to cleansing my internal organs, this has been my intuition. I don't really have any reason to say I could tell other than my innate human abilities, but I have long suspected some kind of energy-like imbalance in my body, organs, or otherwise. I don't know if it's from drugs or something else, but it does give me a regular (and annoying) feeling that I am sick in a strange way (not like a germ but like an imbalance). I actually have thought that dizziness is a very literal physical manifestation of imbalance. I don't know about Fire Channels or kidney imbalance, but I wouldn't be at all surprised if you are correct. Will the book you have suggested address these problems specifically? In response to feedback from everyone here, I have chosen to stop using drugs (I am excepting weed, although at some point that one will probably have to go too). Anyone have suggestions on what I should do instead of drugs? I'm sure this seems like a silly question, but it is actually quite applicable to me. I need advice on thinking about things in a different way. Hundun is advising me. I would like to publicly thank him and acknowledge his insight. I'd also like to thank this community for your realistic wisdom, which has inspired me as much as any book I ever read.

So I was recently told that I may not be getting good results from my I Ching. I was just wondering about others' opinions: How much benefit is this book to a beginner? Can the I Ching teach one to become more developed? Where can one learn to best understand what the implications are behind the I Ching? Any suggestions on guidelines for interpretation? peace + love Chris

Everyone thanks tons for the suggestions peace + love Chris

So I'm realizing that I probably know a lot less than I thought I did and am probably confused in certain ways due to my choices of lifestyle. I am curious, if anyone who has this knowledge could maybe explain something to me: What are the various categories of drugs doing from a Taoist perspective? How do they effect energy flow / systems? What are the implications of these changes? thanks again to everyone peace Chris

I must say that when my anxiety problems began, I was healthy, exercising, and not taking any drugs (not even alcohol). It was a year or so after any drug use. When you say that my problems are due to drugs, do you mean past or present use? And I guess I am open minded to stopping drugs, its just that they seem to lead me to a more spiritual state of mind. I've tried going sober for more than a year and it didnt help my anxiety. Honestly I found that I became closed minded and when I started taking drugs again I felt that I had been missing out on a big part of life. I'm welcome to any suggestions though, I am quite aware that there are more important things in life than a good high. thanks + peace Chris

Hundun Thanks for your concern and attention. Yes I am 25. I took a lot (100+ hits of LSD, many mushrooms, etc.) when I was in my teen years (~16-19) To be honest I found that these substances (seemed) to improve my outlook on life, I learned that there was more to life than mechanistic traditional success and developed much compassion and understanding. I still take these drugs maybe 5 times a month. I have not found anything particularly negative about them, but I am starting to be aware that our bodies are way beyond scientific understanding and that really unusual drugs such as these could be upsetting energy patterns if used in the wrong way. Also when I was young (teen years) I abused just about every drug I could get my hands on, not so much as a junkie but as an explorer of the mind. Not just the traditional ones but things most people wouldn't try. These days I use natural drugs more moderately, namely marijuana daily, opium tea occasionally, and morning glory seeds (a psychedelic). I have had terrible problems with alcohol but am finally free of its grasp ( almost a year ) So (in a nutshell) I was about 20 when my anxiety started. My life was happy. I was in college one day when I got extremely dizzy, like the ground was moving up and down. I ended up going to a hospital because I thought I was physically in danger. After examination I was given sleeping medicine and sent home. Since then the problem didn't go away, but occurred more and more frequently. I saw many doctors, had every test run (ears, eyes, brain scan, heart, blood) and they say I'm fine. Anti anxiety medicine like Valium solves my problem, so I have over time come to the conclusion that my problem is psychological. However when panic attacks strike, I invariably revert to the belief that something is dangerously wrong with my body. Over time the intense dizzy spells have diminished, and my outlook regarding my condition has become much more positive. However I still have very high levels of nervous energy, I find myself pacing, biting my fingernails, and other nervous habits very often. I suspect with the proper advice / techniques, I may be able to greatly improve my quality of life. peace + love Chris

Hello to everyone here, I am very happy to have discovered this community. My name is Chris Swanson, I live in California (Silicon Valley). I'm a 25 year old guy. Briefly, I am a super pacifistic hippy type, with serious influence from Buddhist, Hindu, and especially Taoist philosophy. Since it's a big part of my life, I won't hide the fact that I choose to experiment with mind expanding drugs. I am not sure how this group will feel about that, but I will certainly be respectful and show restraint in my topics. I wanted to ask for advice from anyone in the community who may be able to help me out with a question I have. See, I've had problems with anxiety and panic, even irrational fear of death, for many years. I've taken lots of medicines, and only very addictive, short acting drugs are helpful. I have been practicing Buddhist samadhi (concentration) meditation and metta (love) meditation to relieve symptoms, however I feel there is some energy or psychic block which is causing my suffering which is not being dissolved by these practices. I decided to seriously consult the I Ching regarding an approach for relief from the root cause of my symptoms. My result was Hexagram #15, Chien (Or Modesty / Egolessness according to my translation) , with change lines at 3,4,and 5. All three change lines advise egolessness and selflessness as a path to success / resolution. The changed Hexagram is #45 Tsui (Congregation / Gathering the Essence according to my translation) From what I understand it can represent a time of peaceful and happy gathering of life. Also a time for cultivation and gathering subtle essence. --------- So my curiosity is this: Am I at least sort of using the I Ching in a beneficial manner? Is there a technique that is safe for lay practicioners which could help cultivate the aspect of egolessness? Perhaps meditation or energy visualization, or some physical movements? Thanks so much for anyone's opinions, I really respect these beliefs and I think it may be the best way to get my life back in balance. peace + love Chris