Dr. Love

i've been masturbating again for a while, just to see what effect it would have on me. the difference is that, when i didn't masturbate for prolonged periods... i was exploding with energy. since masturbating again, i feel as centered and as happy as before i was masturbating. so no difference in "spiritual enlightenment" for me, but there is a difference in physical energy levels, i'm a less hyper... but there is still enough energy to do all i would want to do.

i've been masturbating again for a while, just to see what effect it would have on me. the difference is that, when i didn't masturbate for prolonged periods... i was exploding with energy. since masturbating again, i feel as centered and as happy as before i was masturbating. so no difference in "spiritual enlightenment" for me, but there is a difference in physical energy levels. i'm a less hyper... but there is still enough energy to do all i would want to do.

well, i suspect that meditation may not be the natural way of being. maybe the natural way of being is to be dominated by the ego, and just follow lust and desire and fear and hate. maybe this is a distorted memory but if i'm not mistaken there is in a certain tao teh ching translation the passage that says: "the master can can get a erect penis, but does not know what it is for" such is how i experience my male body in meditational being, sometimes the body may give a erect penis, but if i'm living in a state of pure awareness there is not the desire to start wanking my penis. the erect penis just goes away by itself after a short while. i agree that the bible has some unpretty stuff in it, but some pretty stuff as well. for example, "even though i walk in the shadow of the valley of death, i shall fear no evil for thou art with me" or "he who is without sin, throw the first stone" i think the figure in the bible called "jesus" also said very nicely that the body is just "flesh and bones", and that the true life is in the spirit, so that we should not waste our energy in pursuiting Fleshly Pleasures

so i haven't been masturbating for a long while now. to be honest, i feel great... full of energy. sometimes i am a bit hyperactive though anyway, i'm a bit of a newbie to celibacy, but i've heard there are dangers to not masturbating? what would these dangers be?

well like i said, 2 years ago i was still doing mushrooms quite often... with these plants i had experiences of strong unconditional love, but this love went away as soon as the mushroom stopped working. this made me decide to go sober. i was 2 years sober, and around 7 months or so i practiced a meditation technique that is pretty good... taught by nisargadatta... i suspect it to be the same as "(wei) wu wei". i had some good results, and i learned a lot about myself... but it was as if there were some blockages in my heart... which disabled the energy from flowing freely... since i had that recent mushroom experience, it's as if these blockages are cleared.... the love didn't go away like it use to 2 years ago, but it just stayed with me since then. i suspect this is because i had a good basis now in meditation, which i previously lacked... and because the basis was there, the mushrooms were much better able to give me permanent healing... it is as if now, my heart is open and it being protected by tao. stuff that would usually scare or intimidate my heart strongly, now does not cause a ripple in my heart at all... it just stays unmoved all the time... also, since that recent mushroom experience (in combination with stopping masturbation) i feel much more the energy from beneath my feet... going upwards my body... maybe this energy plays an important role in why i feel more centered, stronger and purer now.

thank you, that settles it right

one thing i still don't get tho, is that in Tao Teh Ching for example, Lao Tzu doesn't talk about doing exercises to "cultivate chi", does he? he simply speaks how to become aware of oneness with tao.. for example "if you rush into action, you will fail" "if you hold on too tight, you will lose your grip" if i am not mistaken, tao teh ching is simply "(wei) wu wei". so is "(wei) wu wei" not enough to become aware of and stay aware of oneness with tao? is cultivation of energy through special practices necessary?

well ofcourse, i understand the problem that comes with "chasing phenomena"... and i used to understand that already... before my recent mushroom experience, the difference is that now after this recent experience, i seem to understand it better, as if some stuff inside has been cleaned up which might have taken much longer had i not used the mushroom... which enabled meditational being to stabilize better. maybe practices such as Kunlun or Taichi have similar results in clearing up blockages... and are safer ways.

i used to eat psychoactive mushrooms, they helped me to temporarily be completely ONE with tao... but then i stopped eating them for a long time, and started doing sober meditation. So recently i decided i was a little "stuck" in my meditation, so i decided to stop masturbating... and also use a psychoactive mushroom for once since a long time. this was around 10 days ago, i haven't masturbated since then. mentioning the kind of meditation i do is not really that important, but if you ask me it's the exact same stuff as talked about in the "tao teh ching". ...which is "doing without doing"... to be more precise. other than this simple awareness meditation, i don't really do other practices such as "tai chi" or "yoga". well ever since 10 days ago. i am much more grounded than before, i seem completely centered... very energetic and very peacefully happy inside. i also think that i can feel energy flowing upwards from the base of my spine and it seems as if this energy is very natural and soft. i'm not sure though wether these positive changes have to do with that i stopped masturbating, the "mushroom experience" or both. so i have two questions about this; #1: Is this chi? #2: Sometimes in short periods during the day, the feeling of being really grounded and centered goes away... maybe this is because i lose focus for a while ? (and when the centeredness disapears, simultaneously does the "peaceful energy") If it is the "chi" that is helping me be so LOVING and happy... is there anything i could do to make sure that it continues "flowing" ? because during the little periods that it stopped, i didn't know how to get it flowing again... but luckily it resumed flowing automatically.

what's up my niggas. i'm a 21 year old dude from the europes, and i have been practicing the meditations for about 2 years. i feel like i have only really been practicing for about 7 months though... because that is when i started reading nisargadatta maharaj's "i am that" which allowed me to get a better understanding and grip on the technique. for those of you not familiar with him, his instructions are very similar to those of ramana maharshi. i am not sure if i will post here often, as i do not feel like there is much to say. keep it real dawgs