Billy K

So, here's a hard one. I'm 30 years old, and I've been able to make sense of a lot of things I've seen in life, except this one. What exactly is (romantic) love? Why do we fall in love? It was my theory that love is more or less an evolutionary trait in men to ensure we stay with women to raise a family (IMO, women love their children, but are colder towards their kids' daddies, so that would fit). However, from this point of view, heartache doesn't really make sense, so I should probably scrap that theory, since Mother Nature usually doesn't do things that don't make sense. I've heard the lovey-dovey hippie theories of past life connections, but if that was the case, we'd all be happily in love once we found someone, and we'd never be sad. If there was a system to it, we shouldn't fall in love all over the place, yet we do. Then again, there must be a system to it, since there's a system to everything else in this universe. So, what gives? Is it Karma? Is it, as the ancient Greeks said, a curse from the Gods (this makes the most sense from my point of view, though what are love-hate relationships, then?)? Discuss. PS: please don't say something like "just enjoy it and go with the flow", because a.) I don't consider romantic love something positive (kinda like heroin, first you get high, then you fall into a deep hole). b.) I'd rather have some kind of explanation for things happening to people.

Uhm, I'm in Germany... Hm, I just googled that Mr. Baer... is he still writing about relationships? I was talking more about that Buddhist ideal love, y'know being well-meaning towards everything in the universe and all that jazz. I don't think a book can help me with that, but thanks nonetheless EDIT: Oh... wow. That "imitation love" sounds even worse than romantic love

Namaste to you too Yeah, see, that why i wrote "romantic love"... all-encompasisng love is jolly good of course. However, I think saying that "imitation love" is just people having something in common is oversimplifying it... I've been victim to love on first sight a few times when I was younger, before I even knew what the girl's personality was like, and people having something in common is more like friendship. Also, after thinking about this a lot lately, I have the feeling that romantic love is actually counter-productive to personal cultivation. It serves no clear purpose at all, and let's face it, someday it ends, and at least one person bites the dust, and if you hurt and are depressed, you can't really cultivate very well. The problem is: "Defeating" this kind of love is hard, harder than for example, not having sex. Not having sex is simple, just don't stick it where it don't belong - no problem, if alle else fails, you can become ugly and poor, so no girl will ever want you again. However, Amor is some kind of guerilla sniper, and even if you rarely interact with other people and are as ugly as sin, it can still hit you. That's the problem. It's beyond your control. So, are there any methods, that can make one "immune" to the bad kind of love, while at least still retaining the potential for "good" love? To be totally honest, I never got why people talk about love as something good. It's an useless distraction at best, and a life-shattering catastrophe at worst (which is, judging from most people's experiences, the norm). So, no thanks, I'd rather get rid of that emotion. EDIT: Oh, just read the article. Anyone know where I can get Prozac in Germany?

Hey thanks, that makes sense But out of interest, I, too, will wait for what the Buddhists and Taoists have to say.

Immortality seems logical to me. I mean, we KNOW that yoga, qigong, etc. makes us healthier. It's only natural that you should be able to become immortal by becoming superhumanly healthy, since age is nothing more than the body breaking down. Stop this from happening, and BAM! you're immortal... maybe not Highlander-immortal, but at least ageless.

Just be natural. If nature says "play nice", then play nice. If nature says "headbutt", then headbutt. It's all about the gut-feeling.

Living, dying... same thing! Once you're born, you're destined to die someday. Maybe tomorrow, maybe in 600 years. What's there to fear? Don't be attached to life, it's kinda like a movie: Sometimes sad, sometimes enjoyable, but in the end, just fiction.

makes sense, since garlic is considered a western panacea (analogous to ginseng in china or the various rasayana in india, for example)... but how do you get rid of the smell?

I lurked a few weeks and found this forum interesting, so here I am. Hello, y'all.

Well, uh, that`s just basic shamanism, and not even a very hard skill to learn, you just have to ask nicely. It`s very, very exhausting, however.

It makes your life more complicated, and you won`t get anything meaningful out of a relationship, so why do it? at best, you'll lose time, at worst, you'll lose yourself. let the people who are not interested in cultivation have relationships, it's their way in this life. if your way is cultivation, don't bother with girls (or guys, or whatever). you'll be happier that way.

IMO, relationships to other people only drain your energy. Sleep, eat, drink, cultivate, that`s all you need. Be like a ghost, enter and exit others' lives without asking for anything and without leaving any trace.