matt007

Any advice. I have a hemorrhoid the size of a walnut. This along with gas (especially during meditation). The Hemorrhoid has been there for a week and grew in size after a bad case of diarrhea. It also has filled with puss and I am debating whether to lance it. Any herbal recommendations?

THIS MOVING FUCKING ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously it's super, like, good and stuff. Go see it in 3D. http://www.avatarmovie.com/

Dude, no. You need to see this movie. I was 7 when Star Wars came out and it impacted my psyche. This movie is like that. It's going to change the way movies are made. James Cameron invented a whole new CG technology during production after waiting ten years for the technology to be developed to even begin to make the film. This guy knows how to spend 300 million dollars. Just go see it, seriously. There just hasn't been anything like this. I'm going to see it again today.

Go see this movie http://www.foodincmovie.com/

When I was 14 I had the feeling of being in love for the first time. It was great and overwhelming and painful and... all the things that romantic love is. Again at around 16 and once more at 18 years of age I fell in love. All of these experiences varied in intensity and duration, but they all had the common thread of the feeling of being in love and the indefinable mixing of the object of affection with everything else around me. It was not until my early thirties that I again fell in love for a brief time with an ex-girlfriend. This time it happened after a long relationship and was triggered when I discovered she was dating someone new. There are those that believe that romantic love is a psychotic state (in the sense that the actual chemical response of the brain often mirrors that of people with true mental illness) and essentially an extension of the sex drive projected onto a member of the opposite sex; the desire to mate, essentially, expressed subjectively by a number of emotions and feelings. I can't help but agree to a certain extent and it seems there is some strong evidence that brain chemistry and hormones are altered when we fall in love and that this feeling of being in love is generally associated with the beginning stages of human courtship; especially in western culture. So my question is, can we create the right conditions to 'make' ourselves fall in love. That is can we change our behavior, diet, body chemistry to increase the chances that we will feel romantic love for someone. Some things that come to mind are, of course, avoiding sexual activity, exercising, meditation, prayer, special diet. I'll leave questions about the best way to meet people and actually find a romantic partner out of the discussion, but if you feel that should be addressed, by all means add what you feel is helpful. Another side question is the observation that some people fall in love quite easily and others very seldom or not at all; is this just mental or is it deeper? Are some people more predisposed to falling in love? Btw, the reason I'm posting this is because I personally would like to fall in love and get married/have a committed relationship that begins with falling in love. I would add that I do feel that compassionate love is ultimately more meaningful and sustainable, but I would like one more go-round with cupid before I settle down into a long term relationship. I would also really like to hear personal experiences and, if your one of those that falls in love easily and deeply, perhaps you can share why you think you are the way you are and whether you feel it's a positive to have such a romantic constitution or a burden. Possible points of departure: 1. Genetic predispositions to falling in love or not 2. Meditative practices that make us more sensitive to feelings of love or build healthy bodies more capable of going through the hormonal process of falling in love. 3. It's all mental; childhood issues; the subconscious. 4. Foods that act as a love drug. 5. Chi Gong as a way to create healthy hormone levels. 6. Dietary influences. 7. Karma. 8. Love potions, charms, voodoo!!! 9. Prayer as a way to find love.

I know. I'm taking a year off of dating to work on myself. This girl is soooo hot it hurts.

Oh Marvin, when will you ever learn? Yes, please do give us a demo of your incredibly small penis...

*pretentious*

Well, it happened. I have developed a significant crush on one of the personal trainers at the gym I work out at. I'm pretty sure she is married. Why is this stuff so fucking random? She is a total babe.

R.W., Come on dude, your post claiming you were overloaded with responses came 15 minutes after your first post telling us about your idea. I double dare any established member here to publicly support you, openly on this thread with a financial contribution. The mature way to go about this is to contact David and just ask him before taking people's money. The guy is not going to give you the time of day if just show up at his house like a teenager, so then what bro? Matt

And so do your intentions. Yes, I have defended DV on this board, so? I would like to know more about DV and see some proof, but the way you have gone about it would make anyone here suspect of you and your sanity. Your idea is good, but after the pages of obsessive questioning and odd behavior, I can't imagine anyone trusting you with their money. I mean you were basically outed by a computer programmer who outsmarted you and showed a strong likelihood that you have been using multiple member accounts to support your claims against Verdesi, which are really weird in themselves in the first place. I would be very interested to see any actual, real, members here trust you with their money. The members who will post here in mock support are likely the accounts that you yourself have created and are operating your self! I'm not touching this one. Peace out and get some perspective.

R.W., The only fools on this site willing to give you their money are the ones in your imagination. Much like the alternate personalities you have created here. It's soooo obvious that you have a huge hard on for DV. No one here takes you or 'roommates' seriously or cares about DV. Why don't you just spend your time and energy become the super Taoist Wizard/Pokemon master you so clearly are dying to become. Matt PS- There are actually people here who have a life in case you didn't know that. PPS- Peace is spelled PEACE, not Pecae for Pikachu, dude.

Incessantly plowing may not be prudent when farming, but in the bed chamber that is romantic love, incessantly plowing is the phrase of the day. Brilliant

That's a pretty remarkable personal experience. I can definitely identify with having loved and lost. But with added dimension you mentioned, I can only imagine how remarkable it must have been to experience that within a relationship. The greater the love, the greater the loss, so true my friend, so true. Beautiful man, thank you. I will say that I don't regret any of the heartbreak I experienced as a result of love relationships coming to an end. I would much rather have loved and lost than never loved at all. Plus, I think this process help you transcend you illusions about love and is an important part of growing in relationships in the sense that you learn more about your self and others and what really brings true happiness. True happiness, now there's a whole other discussion. It's not to be found in relationships, but in service to others and good works. That is the Taoist way and the Christian ideal as well and I feel it's true. But no one said you can't have personal love in your life and serve others too. We can look at our spouse as an aspect of the divine and serve in that way also.

Are you asking me to shut up? No, I don't suppose that. Both Johnson and Jung spent their lives discussing and studying the nature of love and human relationships and both of them had some of the most profound and deep romantic relationships you could imagine. Same with Helen Luke, Johnson's female counterpart. I think knowing more about love does not preclude one from falling in love and neither does discussing it. Are you saying otherwise? On the contrary, I feel like the discussion here is opening me up and helping me clarify my feelings and thoughts on the matter. Isn't that the point of a good discussion?

I was having lunch with some colleagues and a women remarked that her friend had fallen in love with her husband because he was a good listener. I think that's really true for women; if the man can really sit and listen to her and actively listen and enjoy what she has to say, that's and big sign that there is real compatibility. Chris Rock say men need three things, food, sex and silence. Fuck me, make me a sandwich and shut the fuck up. I'm paraphrasing, but it seems there is some grain of truth here. One of the hardest things to do in relationship is really sit down and make time to listen to each other on a consistent bases. For me, and probably men and general, listening is one of the hardest activities to really do well in a relationship. They say women utter about 3 times the number of words that men do, on average, in a given day. In response to Kate's post, I think there is an art to successful relationships and I also think that Taoists have an advantage because part of the Tao is being a good listener and understanding that we are connecting to people. If you can develop this skill, I think you will have a lot more balance in your relationships. Women need to respect the silence in men and a man needs to honor a woman's need for authentic communication. Mature Romantic love, I feel, can be a spiritual practice in itself and, if taken seriously and respected as such, can be an incredible tool for personal growth and self realization. It doesn't always to have the the element of 'falling' in love either. It can just be a mature love relationship that you have going. In a way I Think we could even separate romantic or courtly love and the mature love that grows over time in a real relationship. In fact I would even say there is a clear distinction. If you have ever read Robert Johnson's work (anybody?), he talks in great depth about our western culture's obsession with what was originally called courtly love. It is from courtly love, explains Johnson, that our fascination with romantic love and our idealistic views on relationship have evolved. There are three books in particular by Johnson that I want to recommend, We, He and She. He was a student of Carl Jung and is considered on of the most highly respected Jungian Analysts in the field today. He's like 90 something now and still has a regular practice part of the year in San Diego, CA. Anyway, courtly love came about in the middle ages and was associated with an offshoot of Christianity that worshiped the feminine ideal. Courtly love was typically prescribed between a married man, usually a knight, and a lady of the court. It was not a sexual relationship, but one of great romantic passion non the less. The knight, would seek to win favor with the object of his affection, the lady in this case, by winning battles and contests of strength and valor and returning with gifts to offer the lady. These were often the things that still associate with romance today; flowers, silks, poetry and other sentimental offerings. But again, in courtly love, the man and woman were often already married and sex, although often perhaps played upon and symbolically present, never really enters into it. The idea is that the passion between the man in the woman is the driving force, compelling the man to ever greater heights of courage and conquest, mirroring his relationship with God and the divine, acted out through the feminine. Both Johnson and Jung believed, rightly so, that this ideal of courtly love has strongly carried over and is still the basis for relationships in the collective unconscious of the west. Johnson goes on to say that the our misinterpretation, as a culture, of the purpose and underlying spiritual significance of courtly love has been the cause and condition for a lot of suffering and a wrongly directed projection of the courtly ideal, something that was originally a form of spiritual practice, onto marriages and relationships in our western society. The work that Johnson has done is very significant and extensive and I won't attempt to present his work here except to illustrate a few points about the way relationships work in the west and how we suffer more often than not if we hold to these unconscious patterns. I will also make a brief observation about how western and eastern relationships operate. First of all, according to Jung, when men and women 'fall in love' in our culture; this is the unconscious (the true self, not the ego) projects the desire to commune with God onto another human being. For Jung, the soul of a man is the Anima, expressed in the feminine ideal; man's inner female. For the women, it's Animus, the inner man. These hidden aspects of our unconscious self are God in the form of the opposite sex and rooted in our mind stream as archetypal bridges to the divine within. They are very powerful and vary real forces, even though they are manifestations of the mind and the collective unconscious. If we understand their proper place, that they are part of God or part of the divine aspect of our own self nature, we can use them as tools for a truly spiritual life. They become doorways to the sacred aspect of our self and pathways to self realization. If your not familiar with Jungian work, this may sound unfamiliar and contrived, it's not; but you would have to do some research to fully grasp it. The mistake that we in the west make is thinking that this inner projection belongs to our girlfriends and wives in the physical world. We are fooled into believing that the animus and anima are the woman or man in our romantic life. We see the divine, or project the divine ideal, onto ordinary people and that's where things get mixed up. When men fall in love, typically, according to Johnson, if they are not aware of their unconscious, they project it on to the women who then becomes the object of their romantic (from the practice of courtly love) love. "Oh, she is so amazing, there is no one else like her, she is the one." Of course no woman or man can live up to this ideal and as soon as the illusion is broken, usually after they have dated a while or married or whatever, they realize that that special feeling of being with some divine personage has vanished. In it's place is a normal person with problems and faults and pimples just like the rest of us. Someone mentioned earlier that true love is the 'one that got away' and that's exactly the function of romantic love in our culture. You can never hold it in your hands, it will always slip away, like a dream upon waking. Usually, we start looking for someone else. Someone prettier, younger, Mr. Right or Mrs. Right. We don't understand that this holy image that we have fallen in love with is our own soul trying to penetrate our awareness. Most people who have been through divorce a few times or been married for a long time or had long term committed relationships that they were able to sustain and change with, begin to understand this on some level. But some people don't get it and keep going from one relationship to the next trying to catch what they cannot catch. Spiritual practice can also fall into this cycle. The rightful place of the divine is of course in your own heart and must be nurtured and tended to very carefully and lovingly and with the knowledge and the respect to allow it to take its proper place and play its correct role. Until we go within, we cannot know God or find real peace; Jung called this process individuation, the process of separation and then reconnecting the ego to the unconscious with awareness. A very Taoist idea. So what is real love than? Well, according to Johnson, we must, in western culture, enter love with the illusion. For most of us it's the only way to access the divine and eventually understand our relationship to the divine. So we have to operate within the limits of the culture we are born into to eventually break free of them. If we look at the divorce rate in America, it's not too hard to see that this is a very apt and accurate recommendation. Real love is of course based on healthy boundaries, mutual respect and understanding, and of course friendship and attraction. Johnson often likes to contrast our western ideas about love with the eastern way of doing things where marriages are generally more stable and grounded and sex and passion are more aspects or parts of the relationship as a greater whole and not the whole itself. Of course this is a generalization, there are exceptions in every culture and eastern culture is becoming more westernized these days too. So, the desire to fall in love can be and generally is based on false identification. It's a projection and completely mind dependent. There can be a more mature courtship that grows over time and becomes a strong bond that starts with friendship. That's what I'm looking for. This more stable and practical version of the modern love affair is based in reality and leads to a lasting bond and shared admiration where the divine in both partners is honored and acknowledged, but not wrongly projected onto the actual person. Two people who can share this kind of relationship are the luckiest people in the world. Two souls, awake together, supporting the other in a graceful and dignified way and not focused on how they can possess or benefit, but rather on what they can give and learn in return. So my question, again, is what we can do to increase the chances of meeting that special someone to love; From attracting a mate to supporting and sustaining a mature, grounded relationship? I have my own ideas for sure, what are yours?

Well thanks for participating. Not that I'm that old, but I do know that what you are taking about is compassionate love, not romantic love (not that you were saying otherwise). They both go together and real relationships tend to be sustained by compassionate love, not romantic love, which tends to be 'as perennial as the grass.' From a famous quote from Max Ehrmann, I think: "Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love - for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world." The bottom line here is that romantic love is a selfish love, not in a bad way; but a selfish love that can transform into real compassionate love. It's an aspect of the deeper love that is the totality, but not the whole as some in our western culture would want you to believe. It's a fine thing never the less.

Okay, I like where this is going, so I can let it go for today and feel a little more satisfied. I didn't mean for this to turn into a private therapy session, but maybe that's a good thing too. It would be great to see a some of you loosen up and have a co-creative discussion. I felt like I had to lead the thread at first, but if this is a topic close to your heart, please feel free to take the rains and I really do look forward to what people have to say on the matter. So far I think Stigward has cut to the core of the issue. It's about fulfilling yourself first and then real love can grow as you begin to resonate that love from the center of your own being. If I look back at my relationships. I have always attracted what I wanted and what I was resonating. If I was resonating empty sex, that's what I got. If I was resonating love, well there appeared feelings of love. I'm not saying that you can simply will yourself to resonate something, it's a process and a journey. From emptyness, th void springs new life.

Seriously? When I said "My questions is how these operate in a real relationship; how do you know if these subjective or objective experiences truly translate into falling in love and sustaining a that love if you've been single and abstinent for the last ten years?" I was addressing the question to you! Not myself. I've been married and divorced and have had and continue to have relationships with women. I certainly don't need 'xtrememind,' who by the way is probably the biggest loser on the fucking planet, are fucking kidding me. Drew, I tried to be polite because this is a civil forum, but dude. Get a clue and stop living in a fantasy world where you 'give orgasms to people' who are just randomly passing you by on the street. Dude, these people, that you are giving orgasms to, they are looking at you like your fucking insane. That's not pleasure on their faces it's, "I'm going to smile at this guy staring at me and try not to look awkward about the fact that he is in full lotus on the fucking subway."

I'm growing impatient with this forum; feels like I'm talking to myself, so I'm going to shut up and let it go for a while. If anyone here has anything novel to add, please let me know what I'm missing. I do appreciate all the input so far and I don't want to necessarily make this thread all about me and my goal to fall in love. I will share one more thought. I've been doing the Taoist thing for about 15 years now. I've been to China twice, Europe a number of times as well as a few other spots in Asia seeking answers and trying to find some truth and answers to these questions of why we are here and who we are and what love is, what it really is. And studied very diligently in much of my time. What I found out is that there is nothing better than, stronger than love. All of these tools, meditation Chi Gong, Taoist practice are good for only one thing and that's love. All of my searching has been to find love. It's not about getting love. It's about realizing you are love. At some point, I was able to let a lot of these 'tools' go. My regular meditation practice and all the rest quite naturally drifted away and I found myself, for the first time since childhood. What I think we all are looking for with all of these devices and practices is love and certainly romantic love, if it's mature and not about getting something or possessing something or someone, can be a wonderful, powerful expression of that. Okay, I'll come back tomorrow and look forward to hearing more about Taoist love. Sweet Dreams lovers. When I'm alone in my room sometimes I stare at the wall and in the back of my mind I hear my conscience call Telling me I need a girl who's as sweet as a dove for the first time in my life, I see I need love There I was giggling about the games that I had played with many hearts, and I'm not saying no names Then the thought occured, tear drops made my eyes burn as I said to myself look what you've done to her I can feel it inside, I can't explain how it feels all I know is that I'll never dish another raw deal Playing make believe pretending that I'm true holding in my laugh as I say that I love you Saying amor kissing you on the ear whispering I love you and I'll always be here Although I often reminsce I can't believe that I found a desire for true love floating around Inside my soul because my soul is cold one half of me deserves to be this way till I'm old But the other half needs affection and joy and the warmth that is created by a girl and a boy I need love I need love Romance sheer delight how sweet I gotta find me a girl to make my life complete You can scratch my back, we'll get cozy and huddle I'll lay down my jacket so you can walk over a puddle I'll give you a rose, pull out your chair before we eat kiss you on the cheek and say ooh girl you're so sweet It's deja vu whenever I'm with you I could go on forever telling you what I do But where you at you're neither here or there I swear I can't find you anywhere Damn sure you ain't in my closet, or under my rug this love search is really making me bug And if you know who you are why don't you make yourself seen take the chance with my love and you'll find out what I mean Fantasy's can run but they can't hide and when I find you I'm gon' pour all my love inside I need love I need love I wanna kiss you hold you never scold you just love you suck on you neck, caress you and rub you Grind moan and never be alone if you're not standing next to me you're on the phone Can't you hear it in my voice, I need love bad I've got money but love's something I've never had I need your ruby red lips sweet face and all I love you more than a man who's 10 feet tall I'd watch the sunrise in your eyes we're so in love when we hug we become paralyzed Our bodies explode in ecstasy unreal you're as soft as a pillow and I'm as hard as steel It's like a dream land, I can't lie I never been there maybe this is an experience that me and you can share Clean and unsoiled yet sweaty and wet I swear to you this is something that I'll never forget I need love I need love See what I mean I've changed I'm no longer a play boy on the run I need something that's stronger Friendship, trust honor respect admiration this whole experience has been such a revelation It's taught me love and how to be a real man to always be considerate and do all I can Protect you you're my lady and you mean so much my body tingles all over from the slightest touch Of your hand and understand I'll be frozen in time till we meet face to face and you tell me you're mine If I find you girl I swear I'll be a good man I'm not gonna leave it in destiny's hands I can't sit and wait for my princess to arrive I gotta struggle and fight to keep my dream alive I'll search the whole world for that special girl when I finally find you watch our love unfurl I need love I need love Girl, listen to me When I be sittin in my room all alone, staring at the wall fantasies, they go through my mind And I've come to realize that I need true love and if you wanna give it to me girl make yourself seen I'll be waiting I love you

You hit on a big one Scotty. Having a fucking job is key. But we all know that part. The big question is, does money and security, the two things guys perceive women as wanting the most in a relationship, equal love? Maybe. I have a good job, but I live in a big city and having a good job is not a unique thing in the city. If I was a successful lawyer in a small town would I be getting a lot of female attention and interest? Probably. But in a big city, there are a lot of successful lawyers and a lot more competition. The second question is, does having your pick of attractive women because you have money, status, influence make it easier to fall in love? Maybe, maybe not. There are lot's of unhappy rich people surrounded by people who want something from them. To me, falling in love has more to do with compatibility, but maybe that's because I already have some measure of success in my personal life and financially. If I was in survival mode and lived in a community where having a lot meant having more than everyone else, I might think differently about this part of the equation.

I like what you say here. It's like being ready, but with no preconceptions; knowing the possibilities and accepting all possible outcomes, but ready for the right moment. I guess there is something to say for being prepared. Being ready is a big part of martial arts too. Maybe one can train to be ready for love. I've been a subscriber of David Wygant's e-news now for a few months. I think he is the only compassionate PUA guy out there. He's actually in a long term relationship. There may be others, but I haven't delved that deep into the PUA community, yet. It's too much about getting laid 24/7. I like his approach (Wygant's) , not enough to actually invest in his stuff, but it's refreshing to get his perspective. I think if you combine some of the Taoist thinking on these things with what he is saying, on a basic level, your really are going to run into possible love connections. After 120 days without ejaculation I might just fall in love with Oprah for all I know. Can you imagine being in love with Oprah? Oh take me now Oprah! Oh ya, gimme some more of that brown sugar baby... no, not that much. Hold on Winfrey! GODDAMN IT WOMAN OH NOOOO!!!!

No offense Brian. I was trying to use humor as a way to provoke a response. I would say it worked pretty well in your case, maybe, maybe not. Anyway thanks for your input. I think your theory is an interesting one. I agree that it would be nice to have some of the women here add their two cents... not that they would have the capacity to really add anything truly substantial (just kidding, totally kinding ). I did want to add that I think a lot of this stuff is completely outside the realm of our control. I'm at peace with the fact that I may never love, at least in the romantic sense, again. Of course, I will be open to it and try to use wisdom and understanding to nourish it, but ultimately, it's all part of the passing show. These things just aren't up to us in the end and so we have to let go of the illusion of control and allow ourselves to live this life fully in the present moment. This is perhaps just the letting go that is needed to fall in love, perhaps. I guess I or we will find that out at the appropriate time. Kahlil Gibran on Love: When love beckons to you, follow him, Though his ways are hard and steep. And when his wings enfold you yield to him, Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you. And when he speaks to you believe in him, Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden. For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning. Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun, So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth. Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself. He threshes you to make you naked. He sifts you to free you from your husks. He grinds you to whiteness. He kneads you until you are pliant; And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast. All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart. But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure, Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor, Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears. Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself. Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; For love is sufficient unto love. When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God." And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself. But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires: To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To know the pain of too much tenderness. To be wounded by your own understanding of love; And to bleed willingly and joyfully. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving; To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy; To return home at eventide with gratitude; And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

Okay, this is interesting. Whether it's accurate or provable by someone who is not a Taoist master is questionable, but still, worthy information. One could deduce that it's perhaps easier and more likely to build mutual attraction and eventually love with a 'healthy girl' found socializing on the seventh day after the full moon than an 'old girl' found ovulating at another less optimal time. I have also heard that there are alpha females just like there are alpha males and that other females in proximity will automatically synchronize their menstrual cycle with the alpha female if the are around each other long enough. Whether there is any truth to it, I have no idea, but it's an interesting tidbit. I would like to direct the conversation back to what I or someone can change in themselves to increase the chances of falling in love. To me it seems clear that the place to start is with your basic one hundred days (100-120) of abstinence to build the foundation. Maybe some meditation and prayer, to help you through those hundred days. Throw in daily cardiovascular exercise, maybe some standing practice and some resistance training to optimize hormone levels and release chi into the body. Add to that a diet rich healthy fatty acids and fruits and veggies with a high quality protein source. Of course a lot of this is good to do anyway in your daily life. The icing on the cake is perhaps some kind of manifesting exercise like painting a picture of two lovers and hanging it in your bedroom. Of course this mainly addresses the physical side of the equation. We need to delve deep into the our unconscious and purify our soul, reestablish our connection to the source by engaging perhaps in Jungian therapy or Buddhist practice or just going to church. Maybe one should see a therapist and make sure your not in some psychological holding pattern; kind of clear out all the cobwebs and deal with any unresolved emotional issues. Maybe even go through the 12 Steps and really do some process work. At the end of however long all this takes, if you are not completely insane, perhaps you will be ready to fall in love. I do recall that three out of the four times I have been in love have been in situation were I was with a close nit social group and in regular contact with the women that I had feelings for. So part of meeting someone is clearly belonging to a stable social network of people and having regular social interaction. Going to parties and gatherings; weddings, there's a big one. Another important ingredient is probably returning to that child like place of purity and innocence. Maybe going to the beach with friends and building a sandcastle or getting a dog and bonding with it would come into play somehow. I just watched 'Shakespeare in Love' last night. It's been a while since I watched that movie. God damn, that's what I'm talking about. True love.