windblown

As a Bipolar person myself I completely applaud you SF Jane. I was given the same opportunity several years ago when I went to India and studied with an enlightened yogi...Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev. I lived at the ashram for four months> I was taught kundalini yoga, pranyamas and shoonya meditation. The whole day was spent readying the mind body and spirit for dissolving or enlightenment. We did a death meditation in which one of the Indian womendissolved and the guru had to spend much time and energy and techniques to bring her back in her body...so blissful was her experience. Anyway I was on no meds while I was there and for 3 months afterward and never felt better. I had a private session with Jaggi and told him of the Bipolar and he prescribed for me 4 hours per day of yoga and meditation when I got home to the real world. Had I not had children I would have stayed on at the ashram as a bramichari, (a monk.) But I had to come home. Sadly to say I was not able to keep up the 4 hour regieme every day due to being a mother, wife, employee, home owner, daughter...all the things that life can call for. Soon I was back on meds as I became unstable. I am happy to say that as I have been meditating again I am on the lowest effective dose of mood stabilizer. As to whether I can come off them again...I don't know. Right now I'm going to stay with them and increase my meditation and start up qigong again. It's very difficult to have self-discipline along with this disorder as it mainly effects right brained artistic types, (I am an artist, poet, massage therapist.) I tend to be spontaneous and rather impulsive so stiking with a 4 hour yoga routine was difficult for me. But kudos to you for sticking with it! I wish you all the luck and progress in the future!

don't fly, cute penguins swim in skies of wavy salt seafoam pillow clouds

I hope you can sing But if not, sing anyway I do not know why

Me Too !!! Being attached to a system is too confining for me, however, I admire those that practice such an ardent self-discipline and stick-to-it-tiveness. I lack tenacity but I have elasticity !!! There are many paths up the same mountain...none is better than another. Isn't the goal of Taoism to be goal less anyway?

I follow Philosophical Taoism...I study the Tao Te Ching. This involves reading, meditation...just being aware...that's about it. I don't strive for enlightenment, perfection of body, immortality or qi stuff. I have tried some of these paths and I ended up feeling pressured, not good enough, while at the same time feeling superior to others who were not on this path. I want to transcend my ego-not inflate or deflate it. I just try to go with the flow, keep it simple, and accept each moment. My goals... I'd like to laugh more and be more at ease with difficult life situations and relationships, I'd like to be able to detach with love and temper my empathy

I've been a carnivore, vegan and vegitarian at different times in my life. When I was a new vegan, I felt a bit superior to the crass meat eaters in my life and tried to conform them, (to no avail. ) Then I was a vegetarian for awhile and I felt egoist standing out from others and insisting on veggies and rice and beans instead of eating the nice dinner that someone had prepared. Or eating lasagne and leaving the beef parked to the side of the plate or even worse not eating the lasagne because it had been cooked with meat and MY noodles can't touch meat! The primmadonna way I felt did not seem conducive to my spiritual growth-I was a food snob! Most vegetarians are not necessarily 'healthy' eaters anyway as they tend to fill up on chips and baked goods. Anyway, I became weak on a meatless diet and was tired all the time. And it seems more 'Taoist' to me to eat what is available, in moderation and without calling all that attention to myself. I'm sure LaoTsu ate meat anyway... Not knocking vegetarianism-it's great for many people! Awesome Witch that you got published! I'm sure your diet is helpful to many people-don't despair. Personally I was so over-sexed and multi-orgasmic in my early years that I don't care a thing about it now. It's sort of a turn-off which I know is not normal...but , well, who knows...

Can someone explain what "this appears as darkness" means? ONE...(excerpt) " Ever desireless, one can see the mystery. Ever desiring, one sees the manifestations. These two spring from the same source but differ in name; this appears as darkness." Lao Tsu, Tao Te Ching; Translated by Gia-Fu Feng and Jane English

I'm having trouble meditating because of anxiety symptoms...racing heart, feelings of being overwhelmed, worried thoughts... is there a meditation to help anxiety while I'm in the state of being anxious...I have tried deep belly breathing and it didn't work too well. i have tried qi gong and love it but I'm living in a temporary situation and there are no classes here plus I feel too anxious to read a how-to on qi gong and practice it

Then the Source is darkness or void or pure potential and forms are dark too because they are part of that source, because everything is part of the whole. The Source is infinite and inclusive of all forms. What if it were light that allowed the darkness to exist or sounds that allowed the silence to exist or fullness to allow emptiness to exist. In order to have any form it must be born of the void? How do we know this void experientially? Thanks for both replies...I will continue to contemplate or try to discover this truth in my own backyard or in some way that has meaning to me. I was told by an enlightened guru in India during a 4 month stay at his ashram that The darkness is what we are, the all before the everything began...but how to know this inside of me ...not hearing it or reading it but truly experiencing this truth. How does one do this I wonder. Thanks again.

Wow...thank you all very much. I'm going to print this page and keep all these replies with me to try. I was a bit embarrassed to pose this question but I'm very glad I did. There is such a wealth of healing information here and just knowing someone else has dealt with this and is willing to reach out and help gives me a feeling of connection and love for all of you. Breathing a sigh of relief now...thanks again!

keep it simple

{A weekend cource and initiation is NOT enough to be awake and aware enough to be a clear channel for healing energy without including too many of your own issues. Therefore reiki will be dangerous to play around with on others even though you get a lot of intense experiences and maby heal someone occationally. } Actually, I found this to be not true at all. I was fortunate to be trained with a direct lineage master of Usui. My classes took place over 2 weekends. I had an immediate and profound experience during the attunement. My hands are always hot now. Reiki works on its own and the recievor's cells either welcome the healing or don't. It has nothing to do with the sender's state of mind. Reiki is a powerful healing tool. It isn't to be feared ever. It is always a positive healing modality. It just works, with or without monkey mind.

It sounds like you are experiencing anxiety and depression possibly due to the stress you experienced in childhood. (Post traumatic Stress Syndrome.) I had problems like these and I got well. This is what I did: a. Walked every day for an hour b. Took meds until I no longer needed them (anti-depressants and anxiety meds) c. Stopped drinking alcohol and/or drugs..(didn't need the anti-depressants after this) d. Expressed myself through journalling, poetry and art Here's what I didn't do: a. Became a vegetarian, (Tried this...became weak and sickly) b. Took a bunch of vitamins, (Ooooh they smell funny) c. Meditated daily, (just sometimes...no stress) d. Beat myself up for not being a perfect Taoist...hahaha a perfect Taoist...all that striving...uck

Hello, Glad to meet others walking on this pathless path...or swimming or flying. I've been reading the Tao Te Ching for many years, practicing qi gong, writing poetry and making art...The most free I feel when 'trying to understand life' is when I stop trying and simply say I don't know, it's a 'mystery. I don't get a lot of the Tao Te Ching, either, even though I've read it many times. Why do I continue to read something I only half understand? Following the Way brings me peace.