liminal_luke

I believe in looking at ourselves (I´m a US citizen) in a balanced way: the United States is not the very best country in the world and certainly far from the worst. Like most people in most places, we have things to be proud of as well as things we might have done a whole lot better. There´s a lot of talk about the US being a "great" country, rather than simply a good and fine place to live, all things considered. I think this is a mistake. Here´s a quote on the concept of "greatness" from one of my favorite books, Compassion and Self-Hate by Theodore Rubin. Why must we strive for greatness? Why must we zealously guard our pride, feed it and even die for it? Do pride and greatness make for happiness or an increasing sense of isolation, dehumanization and even paranoia? Is achieving greatness more self-satisfying than achieving self-acceptance and the ability to enjoy the commonplace? Does the drive for glory through the actualization of ever-increasing demands for greater perfection and attainment of more and more positions of special privilege make for sustained contribution to the betterment of life? Is a country great because it is "great," or is it a good place to live because its original premises are basically compassionate ones? Our culture in a large part feeds the neurotic need for pride positions and so-called greatness. This is probably its most destructive influence, and ultimately makes for an unreal, illusionary and destructive value system. It also contributes to emptiness and fragility, and assaults the humility from which real and useful human strength springs.

I think these kind of things are best left to happen organically, preferrably with more input from "spirit" and less from the Taobums. My advise: make yourself into a Veezel of the divine. When the Veezel is ready, the Stoat(ent)s will come.

Awhile back, Soaring Crane posted something about attracting money through ear massage, working with the kidney energy. Very interesting stuff, imo. Not sure exactly where it that post is now but you might use money as a search word if interested.

Scam or no, this ability doesn´t appeal much to me. I´m not interested in becoming invisible. Been there, done that. I´m interested in becoming -- comfortably, compassionately, not-apologizing-for-who-I-am-ily -- visible. A much more difficult, and worthwhile, trick.

This is why we pay you the big bucks, Brian. Oh wait, we don´t. In any case, thanks for this pithy wisdom.

It´s been awhile since I´ve done any Universal Tao stuff, but yes, I found it very helpful. In general, I followed Michael Winn´s version and have lots of his material. I still do a form he promotes called Primordial Qi Gong and love it. Michael has gone through and eliminated a lot of the more questionable old material that got people in trouble -- there´s no more pressing on the perineum to stop ejaculation, no holding the breath packing chi in iron shirt poses until you´re red in the face. Anyway, I think you´d be perfectly safe practicing the Michael Winn version of Universal Tao if that appeals to you. And yes, there are lots of other great systems out there that might be just as good, like Spring Forest. So much depends on what you´re drawn toward.

Bingo. Kelly Brogan, a psychiatrist who never ever prescribes antidepressant medication, has a new book out called A Mind of Your Own outlining her basic program for treating major depression, even difficult cases, holistically. She´s pretty convincing and if I had major depression I´d give it a try. It´s pretty daunting though: a complete dietary overhaul, exercise, meditation -- all things most of us know we should be doing in any case but often don´t. Non-pharmaceutical interventions tend to ask a lot of us. Kelly Brogan has reportedly had lots of success but there are no weekends staying up late on the couch watching TV over pizza and beer. How much easier to just pop a pill (or three) and call it good.

I´m skeptical about the above statement. Double-blind studies proving the scientific efficacy of this or that nature remedy may not exist (who would finance them?), but everyday people cure themselves of supposedly incurable diseases with herbs, essential oils, shamanic ritual... the list goes on. Pharmaceutical drugs may well be part of the answer in a given case, but how could a person, no matter how psychiatrically versed, possibly know that nothing else would help?

Although many people here have voiced negative opinions about some of Mantak Chia´s sprawling system, I don´t think you can go wrong with the 6 healing sounds and inner smile. Michael Winn, a universal tao head honcho of sorts here in the United States, has a free e-book on the inner smile you can download if you agree to join his emailing list. Well worth it in my opinion. I don´t have specific recommendations as far as exercise goes, except to say that I think physical activity is an important addition to almost everyone´s lifestyle program.

And for the Strawberry Moon we spank each others butts until they turn bright red and then drive around flashing said naked behinds out car windows at unsuspecting pedestrians. On those rare occasions when the summer solstice coincides with the strawberry moon we...oh never mind.

Hi Bud, When it comes to holding people accountable for embodying the highest vibrations of divine love, you, Bud Jetsun, do not fool around. It´s an attitude I respect, and a position that needs saying. So thank you for saying it. Still, I think this kind of hardcore personal choice position isn´t always what people need to hear. This might be the perfect message for some people with cancer, for instance, but for others it might come off as preachy and judgemental. Especially if the person saying it doesn´t themselves come from this place in their own life. Perhaps you do come from this place in your own life and can radiate the kind of unlimited love that makes it easy for people to take this in, I don´t know. But lots of people don´t. And when they say it, people don´t get to nirvana, they get annoyed. Just saying... Liminal

I dunno. I think the ever-popular you-create-your-own-reality meme is of dubious utility. Sure, it can be helpful to kick yourself in the butt when you´ve been stuck in victim space: if you´ve created the problem then you are empowered to do something about it -- blah, blah, blah. But then someone gets cancer. Did that person create her reality too? Perhaps she did but it´s not always helpful or nice to say so. Some people are born to parents who beat them or have sex with them when they´re three. Some people find themselves in the middle of a collapsing bridge when the earthquake happens. Oops. Sometimes shit happens, and the mystery of it all is bigger and more unknowable than the you-create-your-own-reality brigade would have us believe. Liminal

Taoway, I think you might benefit from carefully reconsidering this belief. It´s hard to have a warm and loving relationship with a women while believing that it´s "female nature" for women to want to see men submissive and weak. You start out angry at all womankind before you´ve even gone on that first date. Or else you give up on relationships altogether. And you want a warm loving relationship! Or at least I believe that you do. So let´s hope for everyone´s sake that that really isn´t true. I believe that issues around control in relationships are universal. It´s not a male thing or a female thing; it´s a human thing. If you look closely you might find you have "control issues" of your own. We all do. As a gay man whose also tried to "retain" while in a relationship, I can tell you that women are not the only ones who have issues with this practice. Many people of both genders want to feel they "drive their partner wild." There is an out-of-control aspect to orgasm that is very validating to both men and women. Maybe your partner wants to feel that she can take you to a place of pleasure that you couldn´t get to on your own. By keeping such a tight grip on what you will and won´t do in bed, she might see you as denying what is an important part of her eroticism. That´s not to say that you shouldn´t continue to retain if that´s what you feel is best for you. But can you feel empathy for her position? Can you relate to her desire without making a negative judgement about "female nature?"

To forgive others, I find it useful to think about my own failings. Fortunately, I have a large number of failings available for possible contemptation, so I never run out of material. When I can generate a feeling of compassion for myself for not having achieved this or that, I find I´m more filling to give others a break as well.

Diet is super important, no question, but how it plays out in our lives is very individual. Given five people with the same "bad" diet one person will have mental health difficulties, another diabetes, another asthma, and yet another will appear not to suffer any bad effects whatsoever. In healing, dietary change can take us a long way but other factors -- exercise, sun, relationships, thought patterns, etc -- also play an important role. My opinion.

Thanks Bes, for sharing your reaction to my posts. After I wrote the second one, about how sometimes "advanced souls" are the ones who get sick in order to further some cosmic learning process...well, I had second thoughts. I´m definitely with you about not wanting to identify as an "advanced soul" -- dangerous territory, for sure. Lately, I´ve been reading a book called Self-hate and Compassion by Theodore Rubin. He says that anytime we identify with a distorted image of our self, whether the distortion is one that pushes us down or puffs us up, self-hate is at work. Speaking for myself, when I get too attached to an overly grand view of myself, the scene is set for a dramatic and disspiriting fall from grace. I do better when I see myself in more modest terms: with my share of good points and bad just like everybody else. So yes, maybe that "advanced soul" thing was a step in a dangerous direction. One of my faults is this: when I see someone I think is having a hard time I want to step in and fix things. As faults go, it may not sound like the worst thing in the world, but often what people need is the dignity of their own difficulties. So many times fixing isn´t really for the other person anyways but more for my own sense of comfort and control. How much harder it is to say I can see that you´re suffering and I have no idea why or what you might do. How much harder it is to say, maybe there´s a lesson in sickness but if so I haven´t the foggiest idea what it is. Or maybe there´s no lesson at all and it just is.

I would recommend daily practice of Sheng Zhen Healing Qigong... http://shengzhen.org/store/dvds/sheng-zhen-healing-gong-removal-of-disease-in-three-stages-dvd There are many forms of qigong in the Sheng Zhen system, all of them great (Master Li is the real deal, imo), but this qigong is particularly for healing health issues. Here is part one of three parts. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tEAaq293Wk

BES, I can´t of course know what meaning you might find in your illness. That´s an intensely personal area of inquiry, and only an internet fool --of which there are many -- would dare to speculate. That said, I´d like to share a thought I have about suffering. We all know about the suffering that is born of bad decisions. People that smoke are more likely to get lung cancer, that kind of thing. But there´s another lesser known kind of suffering that befalls us precisely when we are doing everything "right." Suppose we live in an ultimately benevolent universe designed to grow us up into the kind of enlightened beings capable of blazing love of self and others in the most difficult of circumstances. We would start out in kindergarten. Kindergarten is a sheltered place where we are taken care of and joy and acceptance come to us with relative ease. But at a certain point, say when we finally step out of fear and into our glory, we are ready for graduation. Some very advanced souls with great potential get kicked ahead a few grades into challenging territory. They find themselves in a place where love of self and others is very challenging indeed. A place of grave illness, terrible war, devastating poverty. And it´s not because they´ve done anything wrong, but precisely because they´ve done everything right. Or maybe not, but that´s how I see it. My best to you, Liminal

Yes! I´m reminded of that Rumi poem so many of us know... “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I'll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass the world is too full to talk about." He might as easily have said "out beyond ideas of sickness and health..." There are many things we can´t do when we are sick. Sometimes we can´t get out of bed. And yet our sicknesses do not diminish our humanity one iota. Contrary to oppressive cultural prejudices that make us believe we "should" be relentlessly healthy, wellness does not make us good nor sickness bad.

At the risk of going all rainbows and butterflys, I´ll share this quote from Marianne Williamson... “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ....................................................................................................................................................................................... I don´t make any claims to absolute knowledge, but I like the idea of a divine nature that permeates all things. It´s easy to imagine such a thing standing spellbound on the beach as the sun sinks into the ocean, harder when confronted with the dry pus-filled sores of suffering slum children. But I don´t think we can pick and choose. If God is anywhere at all, she´s everywhere.

The thing I want the most, and am also avoiding, is my divine pus-like nature.

Ain´t that the truth. I wouldn´t exactly call it the "easy way" but, for most of us, practice is where it´s at.

I agree with others who say it depends on your goals. Some of us are body people and gravitate towards using our bodies. Others are mind people and love all things intellectual. However we lean, I think it´s always good to do at least a little bit of both. Study chemistry and lift weights. Read Daoist philosophy and play volleyball.

Hi again Shad282, Thanks for your kind words about my post. Since you are interested in things Buddhist, I thought you might like learning about the work of Sharon Salzberg, one of the foremost teachers western teachers of the Bhrama Viharas. (Or at least I think she is.) She has several books out about cultivating these qualities: metta (loving kindness), karuna (compassion), mudita (appreciative joy), upekka (equanimity). Of the four, you might special attention to upekka, the practice of equanimity. Equanimity is the quality that allows people to feel compassionate but not overwhelmed, open but not engulfed. I found this on the interenet about Sharon Salzburg´s approach to equanimity practice. Sharon Salzberg has suggested the following phrases, although it would be a bit much to try to use all of these in one meditation, so feel free to pick and choose: ir All beings are the owners of their karma. Their happiness and unhappiness depend upon their actions, not upon my wishes for them. May we all accept things as they are. May we be undisturbed by the comings and goings of events. I will care for you but cannot keep you from suffering. I wish you happiness but cannot make your choices for you.

Hi Shad282, I don´t have any solutions to offer you, just a perspective. My take on your opening post is that you are in the middle of a process of healing and growth and doing just fine. It might seem that "emotional coldness" and "empathy" are opposites but that´s not actually the case. Emotional coldness is often a strategy that very empathic people use when they lack the maturity and strength to deal with their sensitivity. Now that you´re older and stronger you do have the maturity and strength to begin to tolerate the empathic sensitivity that was part of you all along. For this reason, your initial protective coldness has naturally started to fall away. In time I think you will learn how to be open to the suffering of the world without being overwhelmed by it. It´s a lifetime practice. My two cents in case it makes any sense to you. LIminal