What do you guys think? When I practice fusion 1 (just collecting negative emotional organ energy in my paqua) I feel all sorts of nasty feelings and shake. Feels like the shaking is more a defense against feeling whatever is coming up for me than the actual feeling itself. For at least an hour or so of practice its very unpleasant and I often just get up and forget it. But if I stick through it eventually get to a very good place where I feel centered and very happy. Amazingly, my voice is then about an octave lower and a whole lot calmer than usual. This new voice lasts about 15 minutes or so. Feel like this is my "real" voice and Ive just somehow been walking around with a voice that isnt authentic but the product of a low but chronic level of anxiety that keeps it from coming into its normal post-fusion range. When I go to practice the next day the whole process starts over again.
So heres my dilemma. Is it worth going through the hell of meditation to get to the sweet spot at the end? Will I slowly change if I keep going even though it seems the next day Im no better off than I was before? Will my voice ever get to where it is just permanently hanging out in a lower and calmer range? Anybody else gone through anything similar?
