liminal_luke

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I've noticed something peculiar happening to me, and I'm wondering if it might be related to this whole Kunlun thing. Am signed up for the seminar, got the book, but haven't actually tried any of the meditations yet. Here's the thing: I'm happy for no reason in a way that feels oddly spiritual. Could it be that my spirit is picking up on the energy in advance, or am I just an especially wacky guy?

I am definately going. Looking forward to it!

I'm going too. Haven't even seen this video everyone's talking about as I haven't got it to work on my computer. But my intuition is that this will be a good thing for me to do, so I'm going. If it turns out not to be good, I will have wasted a few hundred bucks. Oh well. At least I will know for myself from my own experience. This much is clear: Lama Dorje is clearly onto something powerful as everybody seems to have strong opinions pro and con. Can't remember the last time people made such a fuss about me!

I think I might go see Lama Dorje. Why not? Does anyone know how it differs from say Kan&Li? The thing about internalizing black hole energy in your head sounds very Stellar Kan&Li to me. Editing here....I'm definately going.

We live in a messed up society. Messed up women everywhere are attracted to jerks. I suppose you could have sex with lots of messed up women by being a messed up guy (or faking it like one), but what would be the point? Racking up numbers to prove you're the MAN?? Bedding lots of women you don't respect (they fell for your deceptive ways after all)?? Deep inside every scheming PUA is a human being who just wants to feel connected to himself, other people, and all of life. In eros matter and spirit touch. Can you have sex in a way that makes room for both the earthy lustiness, and yearning for emotional/spiritual intimacy within yourself and your partner?

Mantis, could it be that your practice is giving your body the opportunity to go back and process residual effects of having taken lots of prescription painkillers? I think the ways we poison our body stay with us until a different something (practice, diet, whatever) comes along and sparks detoxification. Detoxification can feel like taking the drugs all over again.

Lozen: Consider the possibility that your larger SELF may be very focused indeed. There might be a part of you, a wonderfully compassionate and protective part, that is focused on distracting you at all costs from awareness of a truth you are not quite ready to integrate. Percieved lack of focus may be a symptom that something bigger is going on in your body/mind. My advice? : explore gently.

I went to the mountain retreat and continuing regular sundo retreat last year. My feelings about sundo are complex. Ultimately I decided not to continue the program though I'm sure that sticking with it results in some pretty amazing spiritual development. If your interested private message me at [email protected] and we can talk by email or phone.

I don't have too much experience meditating during sex (except if you count energy spontaneously going up through microcosmic orbit), but I have done some meditating while giving bodywork--another activity that, like sex, becomes richer when I can be acutely present both to myself and the other person. This meditating while giving acupressure and chi nei tsang sessions was a suggestion of several teachers, and frankly I was a bit skeptical. Wouldn't focusing on myself by running the microcosmic orbit and even doing fusion etc, take me away from connecting with my client? Curiously, just the opposite occured. Although I wasnt paying as much attention in the normal outer way, the meditation seemed to allow a deeper--and automatic--connection to occur. My hands adjusted in subtle and precise ways that were in tune with the moment and worked, something that never would have happened in my normal non-meditative consciousness. Perhaps this applies to meditation during sex as well? It might seem like a silly question, but what are you having sex for? Are you hoping to connect deeply with a partner emotionally and spiritually, or just have a little fun? And how does your meditation contribute or detract from your goal(s)? How does your meditation effect the quality of your experience with your partner? My guess is that if you can let the meditation bubble up through you as a spontaneous process that you've activated with all your previous spiritual work, without needing to unduly focus on the technical aspects, you'll find that meditating during sex will open up deeper levels of intimacy.

Hi Top-fin....Once went to a chi-gung class that was specificially for lowering blood pressure. I'm not an expert but glad to pass along what I heard. Story is that high blood pressure is often associated with the chi going up to the head, and not being able to come down again. Any chi-gung movement that guides the chi down the body, preferably all the way to the kidney 1 point at the bottom of the feet and from there into the earth, is good. Here are some ideas: (1) Try standing and slowly raising your hands up to your head and then lowering them down over the body like a standing triple warmer healing sound. Ok, to actually touch your body to lower the chi if you like. Might make either the triple warmer sound or heart sound. Pause at the bottom and mentally guide the chi down your legs and into the earth. (2) Lie down and guide chi from bottoms of feet to waist level (not as high as the lower dan tien) and then back again. This one has to be done a long time to get energy down into the legs. (3) Repeatedly rub sole of foot over kidney 1 point toward toes. About 400 vigorous rubs per foot. (4) Rub up and down across face vertically. Quickly and lightly on the up motion, slow and with pressure on the down motion. Guide the energy down. (5) Rub thumbs lightly from index finger down toward pinkie. This will your body descend energy. Do it repeatedly until you feel the energy go down. Ok....good luck!

Totally agree with "fake it till you make it" for mco, as well as fusion and other practices. My experience is that if I haven't been practicing the mco regularly I may have to fake it, ie imagine, for quite some time before the experience starts to have a life of its own and feels more real. Sometimes I've gone a good hour just turning what feels like mental circles in my mind. Takes quite alot of patience and trust in the process to put in this "imagination" time. In hindsight, I think that even this "not real" mco was in some sense real as it led to the real thing (or at least something that subjectively felt more real.) IMHO worrying about whether the mco is "real" or not is a waste of time as the best way to get to the real is to spend alot of time plodding through the fake stuff.

Your quandary reminds me of some stuff I've been reading in a great book called The Erotic Mind by Jack Morin. He talks about how when people change there eroticism, even in a very welcome healthy way, they often need to grieve for the aspects of their old way of being erotic that they liked. My guess is that a part of you likes how you are grooving to more spiritually evolved women. It's no doubt a part of your personal evolution, if not a direct result of the practices you are doing. But that doesn't mean your not grieving for what you've lost: animalistic anonymous passion. Jack Morin also talks about how emotional closeness and intimacy is often at odds with lusty passion. It's a little tricky to have high degrees of both at the same time. So it makes sense that as your heart opens and you're seeking ways of being more connected in a "higher" sense that some of the lusty power seems to be seeping away. One of his ideas is that by looking closely at what turns you on in both fantasies and peak sexual experiences you've had in the past, you can figure out how you might have more animal passion with your heart-centered relatedness. Check out the book--I'm sure you'd find it interesting. Good luck!

What do you guys think? When I practice fusion 1 (just collecting negative emotional organ energy in my paqua) I feel all sorts of nasty feelings and shake. Feels like the shaking is more a defense against feeling whatever is coming up for me than the actual feeling itself. For at least an hour or so of practice its very unpleasant and I often just get up and forget it. But if I stick through it eventually get to a very good place where I feel centered and very happy. Amazingly, my voice is then about an octave lower and a whole lot calmer than usual. This new voice lasts about 15 minutes or so. Feel like this is my "real" voice and Ive just somehow been walking around with a voice that isnt authentic but the product of a low but chronic level of anxiety that keeps it from coming into its normal post-fusion range. When I go to practice the next day the whole process starts over again. So heres my dilemma. Is it worth going through the hell of meditation to get to the sweet spot at the end? Will I slowly change if I keep going even though it seems the next day Im no better off than I was before? Will my voice ever get to where it is just permanently hanging out in a lower and calmer range? Anybody else gone through anything similar?

Wow! Thanks for the feedback everyone. The suggestion of going onto Kan & Li really resonates with me. I've been to several of the Winn Kan and Li retreats but never got into a regular Kan & Li practice. The funny thing though is that Im finding that if I keep at fusion long enough Kan&Li just happens without my trying. I wont be doing anything particularly Kan&Li-ish but theres that steaming feeling just like I remember years ago from the retreat. Also like the suggestion of focusing on the positive. Thanks Jeremiah for bringing the whole if my patterns change its like death (well, from their point of view) concept up. Sounds right on.