liminal_luke

Luke was thrown out of his naked taichi class for taking the instruction "grab bird´s tail" a little too literally.

"OK class, now expand your Chi Balls..."

I´d have a better chance of winning if more Bums had access to the Current Events section.

A vampiric woman with a death wish has a stake in her future.

Childless women with cats have no stake in the future. (I figured I´d go with the tried and true.)

My nephew killed himself. My partner and I went to a counseling session with a therapist who led us through a ritual. We brought a candle and his picture to set up as a mini-altar. Then she had us talk to my nephew out loud and say whatever we needed to say. I didn´t know my nephew well but the process was surprisingly emotional and I left the session feeling that things were basically OK. His death was tragic, of course, but I was no longer fighting the pain of it. She told us to keep the candle lit (when we would be home) next to his picture for four or five days. One of the things the therapist said was not to judge my nephew. He made the decision for himself and we can´t know why.

In Mexico it´s very common to light a candle and place it next to a picture of the person. I did this when my nephew died and found it very meaningful.

I would allow yourself to grieve. Grieving is a process and the way to get through it is to allow the process to proceed; suppressing emotion will just prolong the suffering unnecessarily. We´re meant to miss the ones we love. We´ll likely always miss loved ones but as grief proceeds we also get to a place of acceptance and letting go. Let yourself feel what you feel.

The backlog of posts here are a treasure for future Bums. It would be tragic if these posts were somehow automatically erased to satisfy some European ruling. The forum has never worked that way and I hope it never will.

If a member wants a particular post to be forgotten, they´re free to edit out the content. I do this all the time. The word "get" is not profane language, certainly not in the sense that FOC was using. I´m baffled that this is an issue at all.

Just think -- with our new ability to down vote posts I might be able to get you to jump in your boat without saying a word. Tempting, very tempting...

Someone should make the above statement into a bumper sticker or, better yet, a highway sign. Just my opinion.

Is the Daobums a place for debate? I often debate here (I might be debating now) but I´m at my best when I´m not debating. I´m at my best when I´m simply reading. Other Bums have helped me so much! They´ve given me practices and expanded the way I look at the world. I´ll give a like here and there, but I doubt that those who have touched my life know it. I appreciate quietly.

I think it´s hard to construct this kind of a survey and include all the variety of human responses. We´re so varied! I didn´t answer the survey because my typical response --- decline to share my opinion -- was not listed among the options. Another option not included would be to lie and pretend to agree with the other person. There are people who actually do this although I´m guessing few would admit it. Perhaps not surprisingly, the answer in the lead at the moment is "try to understand their perspective." Maybe I run with a particularly close-minded crowd, but I don´t see a lot of this in the real world, or here on the forum for that matter. True openness to understanding the opinions of others about controversial topics is a rare quality, a rarer quality than the results of this survey would suggest. Dwai asks how our responses online are different from our in-person responses. It´s often said that people who fight online would get along just fine if they met in real life. I think this is true. Something about online life brings out the fighter in many of us. There´s something inherently dehumanizing about communicating through this medium; because we can´t see or hear each other, it´s easy to forget there´s a real person on the other side of our keyboards.

@Lukks Nice to know I´m not alone.

I listen more than I talk, especially about controversial subjects, so chances are I would discover our difference of opinion before the other person became aware that we disagreed at all. Chances are the other person would never become aware of our disagreement because I would not share my opinion. I´m not saying this is the best way to be -- perhaps I´d benefit from being more assertive and forthcoming -- but this is how I am. I have an uncle who is a medical doctor. Not the kind of medical doctor that sees patients, but rather the kind of medical doctor that is employed by chemical companies to argue that twinkies aren´t toxic, that kinda thing. Years ago, he arrived at a family lunch announcing that he´d just come back from a panel discussion where he´d argued that alternative medicine was bunk. I disagreed but said nothing. Later, an in-law took me to task: why hadn´t I stood up for my beliefs? I was quiet because I knew the situation was unwinnable. Nothing I might say would change his mind and I preferred to eat in peace. To share a more recent conundrum, I have political opinions that are at odds with the views of my friends and family. They don´t know what I think. The situation is a bit isolating: would people still like me if they knew? Ironically, it´s easier to be forthright here online because I´m not so invested. I want to be liked, even here, but my world won´t come crashing down over a disagreement.

Why is it hard to get a straight answer out of teachers of trigonometry? Answer: They´re always going off on tangents. ............................................................................................................................ Why do the children of trigonometry teachers never have trouble getting car loans? Answer: Their parents are always willing to co-sign. ............................................................................................................................... Why do geometry teachers make lousy life partners? Answer: Rather than simply talking from the heart, they always have an angle. ................................................................................................................................. How do loggers weigh the trees they cut? Answer: A logarithmic scale. ...................................................................................................................................... Why do math teachers think Trump understands advanced mathematics and is, in general, more intelligent than he first appears? Answer: When asked for a figure, he always gives an imaginary number.

I used to be a perma-smiler. I remember this one time when I was really depressed and a stranger stopped me on the street and complemented me on my smile. A weird experience. Things aren´t always as they seem.

This is interesting. I´m way behind on this thread so perhaps you´ve answered my questions up ahead but I´ll ask anyway. Is protecting jing a useful goal for someone who is a relative newcomer to this path? How might one begin to go about it?

I usually don´t worry about what strangers think of me, but, speaking from experience, I wouldn´t recommend doing spontaneous qigong in airports.

Luke had a hard time at the dud ranch but had nobody to blame but himself. Sick horses, lumpy beds, cold food. He should of read the brochure more carefully.

Yes, many people are effected deeply by events they are not aware of. I almost want to say...the less awareness, the greater the effect. Take, for instance, the trauma of surviving a natural disaster. Unless we were very young when the disaster occured, we´ll likely have a memory of the event. But some people will be keenly aware of details and their emotional reactions. The more awareness we have, the more choice we´ll have about how and to what extent the trauma effects us in the future.

Wasn´t sure whether this belongs here or Stranger Things. In any case...

True. I suppose the trick is to determine the credibility of the secret bearer. As someone whose profession requires interpersonal intelligence, you´re likely good at making that determination. I don´t entirely follow all of @Shadow_self´s argument but, personally, I believe he´s attempting to convey his experience honestly.