liminal_luke

I might seem to be defending Buddhism in these threads but dont be fooled. I keep a tight grip on all my illusions.

I went several years without talking to my rich but difficult to get along with grandmother. Then I went on a long vipassana retreat and spent many hours in tears as suppressed emotion from my childhood swept over me. Finally, I got to a place where I wanted to speak to my grandmother again and, breaking my vow of silence, I phoned her. After she died, she gave me a non-illusory pile of money. Which just goes to show a truth that we rarely speak about during these spiritual debates: Buddhism pays.

I am no kind of expert Buddhist philosopher, so I cant say for sure that they are. In my experience, Buddhists say that a lot of things are empty and void of an independent self so why not feelings? Heres the thing though: the way to understand the nature of feelings is by feeling them. Buddhists are notoriously opposed to avoidance or stifling of any kind. As a veteran of several vipassana retreats, I can tell you that Ive never felt so much in my life as I did on that zafu. In some ways, I think the forum gives readers the wrong idea about Buddhism. A Bum might come away from these threads thinking that Buddhism was all about debating arcane and hard to understand concepts like non-dualism, whereas the actual practice of Buddhism involves lots of crying and physical discomfort. YMMV

Bindi -- Seems to me your view is actually very close to the Buddhist view as it has been explained to me. Like you, Buddhists believe that stifling feelings is very much at the root of suffering. While feelings may ultimately be illusory, they are also entirely real and valid, exactly as you say.

When I learned fusion there was no chanting. I would just leave it out.

I don't think Jesus is a liar, I think he's a metaphor. So, ya know, never mind me.

It's not that everything is exactly the same. Certainly each of the religions I named have very different "flavors," different cultural traditions, different notions of right and wrong, etc. And I'd wager that most Christians, Jews, etc....would disagree on my take on things. But I believe there's a mystical heart at the center of most of the world's great spiritual paths where things converge. At a very high level, "enlightened" masters in the various traditions can recognize each other because they are all responding to the same real thing.

No. Would it lead me to a different conclusion?

To me, both Christianity and Judiasm are as "non-dual" as anything Buddhist. What is the cross if not the crossing of Yin and Yang lines resulting in the non-dual Christ-iness emanating from the center? What is the Star of David if not the alchemical mixing of Yin and Yang represented by intersecting triangles? It's the same basic stuff wherever you turn -- Daoism, Christianity, Judiasm, Buddhism . They all got it: how reality is both dual (ten thousand things) and one (wu wei) at the same time Two truths. Dualism and non-dualism together, neither perspective more important than the other. Perhaps the most important thing is to be able to "bridge" these two seemingly incompatible views, to see the dualism in the non-dual and vice versa. All of life is a very narrow bridge And the most important thing is not to be afraid at all. - Rabbi Nachman of Breslov

I hear ya. If you approach questions with an open let-me-see-what's-true attitude and follow where your research takes you, you're unlikely to come up with a set of findings that perfectly fits anybody's grouping of acceptable answers. And people can get prickly fast. Like I emailed my friend this morning, I could follow along the allowable path on 9 out of 10 issues and the true believers would still throw me out on my ass. Thinking is a dangerous sport, but whatcha gonna do? The people who "get you" will appreciate your wild, unpredictable, independent, catlike, thinking nature. Those who don't can go to the dogs.

I think maybe you're confusing the algorithm I've programmed to write my posts with the real me. An easy mistake.

For some months, I've been trying, unsuccessfully, to let go of a grudge and forgive a friend. I think this perspective will help. Maybe he just hasn't done the work of knowing himself and thus wasn't able to resist some harmful-to-me programming. That feels forgivable. I know how hard it is and it's not like I've "done my homework" either. (Well, I like to think I've started but I'm far from done.) So maybe I can move on from my grouchiness. Thanks!

Perhaps you've been unlucky and met the world's some of the world's most condescending non-dualists and Buddhists. Although I've attended a few retreats and workshops, I'm not a Buddhist myself. I haven't experienced non-dual reality unless I've done so unconsciously and without awareness (if such a thing is even possible). I make no secret of my "unawakened" status. And yet I've never experienced any of this air of superiority you write about. The non-dualists of my acquintance have been consistently personable.

Buddhists have a hard enough time understanding Buddhism, so what chance do non-Buddhists like me have? Not much. Nevertheless, I'll take a stab at elucidating the two-truths doctrine: right thinking is inherently shrouded in paradox and it's time for breakfast.

Good point. Not here on the Bums they don't. Would we get a different impression if we asked people on their deathbeds what they regret in life? Maybe.

I think this is especially likely to be true when it comes to sexual problems. (of course, not always) I masturbate too much / not enough My sex drive is too high / too low I like doing the *wrong* things in the bedroom and our favorite I'm losing my jing (often because of witchy women)

More often than one might think, problems in life stem from thinking one has a problem. Much can be improved simply by calming down and letting be.

How do you cultivate and strengthen bonds with those you love? What do you do to foster a sense of community and belonging in your life? I'm always looking for ideas to incorporate into my own routines. Some things I do or have done... Buenos Dias walk....making a point to wish strangers on the street a good morning. I'm an introvert so this one doesn't come naturally to me but it's always given me a good feeling when I've done it. Calling mom....when my mom got a breast cancer diagnosis we started emailing daily. She's fully recovered now but we've continued our daily contact, eventually transitioning to phone calls. Calling is better. Watching reality TV with my partner. As a bonding activity, I imagine reality TV is pretty far down on most people's lists but, what can I say, we enjoy it. It's fun to comment on the various contestents and I've learned a surprising amount about fashion and baking. Some things I think about doing... Eye Gazing...this has long intrigued me and I hope to start an eye gazing practice with my partner starting today. Hugging till relaxed. The Shrink’s Links: Hugging till Relaxed, the Video – Keith Wilson – Counseling (keithwilsoncounseling.com) sending handwritten notes through snail mail

Digging out a toilet pit is not the kind of bond strengthening activity I had in mind when I started this thread, but, come to think of it, that could be perfect. It reminds me of the community feeling I imagine some might have felt with barn raisings -- the sense that there's practical help out there when a person needs it most.

I forgot who created this image and wrote these words (wasn't me!) but it's one of my favorites. Seems to me if we want world peace, starting with ourselves is not a bad idea.

To be a better, cleaner, kinder, more capable version of myself.

I don't think he's active on the board anymore, but @Spotless had a lot to say about the effects of a vegetarian diet on meditation. Those interested might want to look up those posts.

My take: I am all there is; other people are all there is too; everything matters.

I read through the last page of this thread and now I'm thoroughly Nungalied.

My partner has schizophrenia and I'm always looking for ways to help him relax and calm his brain -- might Flying Phoenix be a good choice? He has a lot of anxiety from voices and the idea that people are judging him / want to hurt him and tends to kind of freeze up with tension. Ideally, I think he needs something simple rather than a complicated form that would be hard to learn or would require a lot of precision. Thanks in advance for any ideas you might have.