liminal_luke

I wanted to see Adam's tai chi so I looked him up and came across a video of him practicing. Rather than post the video without muscial accompaniment (my preference), or with a tranquil soundtrack (2nd choice), Adam choose a jazzy version of "Blue Moon."

Let me look into my crystal ball...what's this I see? Adam Mizner, Freeform, and Shadow_self all do a public about face, each posting videos proclaiming that visualization alone leads to enlightenment. A gutsy prediction to be sure but I stand behind it. Seeing is believing.

It's true that mindfulness doesn't lead to any of the exalted meditative states many Bums aspire to. Still, it beats mindlessness. Don't ask me how I know.

Part of the debate may stem from disparate definitions of the term "meditation." Adam Mizner says that meditation is Jhanna; everything else is mind training or some such. By this definition visualization may not be useful; I wouldn't know. I prefer a more expansive definition that covers everything from sitting in a deliberately quiet way to mindfully doing the dishes. While this definition arguably lacks precision, it's democratic and refreshingly lowbrow.

Some New Year's thoughts from my favorite couples therapist, Esther Perel. Shall We Begin The new year brings a desire for structure. A fresh calendar, a clean grid ready to be populated with plans and promises. In this first month, we aim to wrangle all eleven months that will follow. This year, we will plan more trips. We will keep a cleaner house. We will work on our minds, bodies, and spirits. We will get in shape. We won’t make the same mistakes. We will spend more quality time with loved ones. We will manage our money better. We will be happier, healthier, better. Just last week, were we not kicking ourselves for overindulging on holiday food? Were we not lamenting how little we got done at the end of the year or, conversely, how little we allowed ourselves to do nothing? Every year we engage in this swing from December self-flagellation to January hyper-motivation. And I can’t be the only one whose best laid plans wither by February. Are our outsized expectations—and our sharp left turn to kick them off when the clock strikes midnight—preventing the sustainability required to make lasting change? A more practical new year’s resolution? Find balance between structures that ground and motivate us and guilt-free spontaneity which allows us to take risks, explore, and yes, occasionally overindulge in life’s pleasures. I often speak of our dualistic needs for security and freedom, safety and adventure. But even I have to remind myself of what that looks like in practice when every article and ad is pushing “new year, new you” gym memberships, to-do list apps, and courses which promise life-changing results in eight perfectly-organized modules. It’s not just the new year that makes it hard to remember the importance of balancing structure and spontaneity. Any time the pressure’s on, we are so quick to forget the fundamentals. We all know, for instance, that balancing predictability and newness is essential for children. It’s how they learn, grow, and make connections. But when adults come to my office or on my podcasts to discuss relational challenges, work problems, friendship fallouts, and more, inevitably they either have no clue where to start or think they already have all the answers. To them, I introduce a loose equation: too little structure = high chaos too much structure = rigidity too much spontaneity = dysregulation too little spontaneity = fossilization and deadness I observe these imbalances in so many contexts. Think of your romantic relationships. Relationships that are all structure and no spontaneity leave little room for mystery or happenstance, erotic qualities that are essential to aliveness and energy between partners. All spontaneity and no structure, on the other hand—no titles or concrete plans—can leave us anxious. Think of your friendships. Old friends remind us of who we’ve been. New friends remind us of who we can be. Think of a company. Businesses need structure and spontaneity, too. They need legacy, accountability, and boundaries, as much as they need flexibility, creativity, and innovation. Now think of this new year. You don’t have to throw everything old away. You don’t have to focus entirely on the new. The uncertainty of the year ahead doesn’t have to unravel you. Trying to constantly control the unknown won’t make it better. Resolve instead to ground into what is real for you now and to uplift yourself by the still unclear possibilities for your future. Yes, you need some discipline, but you also need to let go a bit. And if a little extra control is what you really want this new year—if you find yourself entirely unable to stop planning every detail—at least promise me that you will plan to have some fun. -- Esther Perel

Yeah, I know. I think all of the people taking a stance against visualization intend to be helpful -- and perhaps they are helpful! It's not my intention to call anybody out. I just wanted to suggest where some of the sensitivity among visualizers may be coming from.

Of course! And as captain you get to pick the color.

I think it's an interpersonal snafu. Turns out quite a few of us think visualisation can be helpful, at least for some people in some circumstances, but for the most part Team Visualization is largely silent: there aren't a lot of Bums loudly exclaiming the benefits of visualisation practices. Team Never Visualize, on the other hand, is a camp to be reckoned with -- vocal, self-assured, a touch dismissive of dissent. Perhaps the team members just want to help beginners avoid the traps they themselves fell into in their misguided youth? I'm sure everyone is well-intentioned. Still, the anti-visualization camp can sometimes come off as a little doctrinaire, almost like members of a political party who can't imagine how someone could be so foolish as to disagree with their agenda. That's probably overstating my case but I think there's a whiff of that. Take Adam Mizner's statement (my possibly inexact paraphrase) -- if you use imagination you'll end up with imaginary results. It may be true but can you hear the slightly aggressive edge?

Adam Mizner says that if you use imagination as a meditative technique you'll get an imaginary result. That's a snappy line but doesn't comport with my experience. I believe that in some contexts, for some people, "imagination becomes reality." (Adam also says that men should not cheat on their wives because cheating leads to guilt and guilt is an obstacle to meditative stillness. He's clearly a hardcore meditator. When most wives think about reasons for marital fidelity, jhana isn't uppermost in mind.)

My introduction to qi gong was through workshops given by my naturopath/acupuncturist. If you can swing a situation like this, I think it would be the way to go. It's better to take an in- person class where you are practicing with a teacher and other students. Don't be too gung ho. Don't aim for enlightenment or immortality or anything that smacks of saintliness. Aim to have fun, socialize a bit with like-minded people, and move your body in a mindful, healthy way. Emphasize movement practices rather than stillness meditation. Give yourself permission to stop if you get uncomfortable. If you can do this, I think you'll be fine.

The cigar and whiskey scene is carefully crafted genius. The orrnately carved armchair, kitchy flamino, demask sofa -- the whole tableau suggests a lifestyle of self-conscious indulgence. It's a scene that's provoking reactions and a dare say it was meant to. I think Damo and Adam are attempting to make a point: a person can be ironic, hip, cool, masculine, wealthy and semi- enlightened. The fact that their message repels some only adds to their street cred with others. In any case, they appear to be capable meditators, teachers, and lounge lizards. Good on them.

Nungali, One of the options you mention is a resolution; the other, a dream. I'm open to the possibilities of life.

This could be the year when an important part of my anatomy comes into view when I stand up straight without clothes and look down. This could be the year when I get up off the floor. Repeatedly. Multiple times a day. (As people age they sometimes lose the ability to sit on the ground and get back up again; don't want this to happen to me.) This could be the year of showering regularly. This could be the year of autophagy and metabolic flexibility and mitochrondial abundance. This could be the year of memorizing poetry. This could be the year when I watch lots of TV cuddled up with my partner and very little TV by myself. This could be the year of mudita rather than schadenfraude. This could be the year I forgive myself for not reaching out to my dad when he got depressed and started sleeping in his office. This could be the year I overcome my aversion to being little spoon. This could be the year when I make saurkraut on the regular. This could be the year of medical courage. This could be the year when I regain the ability to do cartwheels, stand on my hands, and joyfully swing across playground monkeybars. This could be the year when I focus more on liking myself and less on being liked by others. (Thanks for the move, mods! )

She's a weird one for sure -- very leftist, very Christian. Or maybe I'm the odd one for thinking that's weird. Her Ted Talk: 12 truths I learned from life and writing | Anne Lamott - YouTube

There's something about these fellas that doesn't resonate with me, perhaps a certain bro vibe, a vibe that makes me feel like I'm back in high school trying, unsuccessfully, to fit in with jocks and shop kids. That's just me though. I don't think there's an inherent contradiction between spiritual accomplishment and smoking the occasional good cigar.

I'm a fan of Anne Lamott, a leftie Christian who writes about finding hope and grace in troubled times. Her early nonfiction chronicles events, personal and global, in the 90s and early aughts and she's open about her political angst. Political angst seems to be one of her specialties. Reading how upset she felt by the events of that time, I can't help but wonder what she must think now! It's easy to take in the news and think things have never been worse, but the truth is the world has always been crazy. There's always been something to be upset about if that's the way our minds are turned. Not that I think there's anything wrong with giving voice to despair; it's only right that we object to the objectionable. Still, there's a lot of beauty amidst the rubble. (This forum is proof enough of that.) The title of one of Anne's latest books nicely sums up this lovely contradiction: Hallelujah Anyway.

Not a bad idea though I'm more inclined towards regular intermittent fasts. Starting off with my own custom version of the paleo diet and then hope to switch it up with a month or so of keto. That should be challenging enough.

Anybody else with resolutions/hopes/dreams for the New Year?

I'm switching from semen retention to opinion retention. After years of compulsive opinionation my brain is getting a little fried, so it's time. Day One...

The inner processes of Taoist alchemy may be secret but I don't mind. I'm still working on honesty, kindness, and the basics of a healthy lifestyle. I'm still working on developing the emotional maturity required to do important things like feel good about myself regardless of how many "likes" my posts get, and letting other people have the last word in an internet argument. First things first. After I get these prerequisites sorted, I'll train the ability to zap people with laser-like bursts of healing qi. I trust that the universe wants me to develop spiritually. I'm where I need to be. Even now teachers are standing by, eager to teach me when the time is right and willing to wait for the moment.

Thanks zerostao! I know of several practices that have breath holding components so I'm intrigued by the possibility of increasing my breath hold time, but also wary of possible adverse health outcomes. Holding the breath provokes stress -- obviously. My understanding is that the breath hold course teaches people to become relaxed and comfortable in that stressful condition, and that with practice the ability to be calm under pressure generalizes to other stressful conditions in life. If true, that would be a cool thing. I don't see myself buying the course anytime soon though as I've already gathered more than enough stuff on my practice plate.

It would be hard to overstate the poisonous charms of the current event section; my own experience is something of a cautionary tale.

In the power-over-oneself department, I'm intrigued by this: https://www.breathholdwork.com/. Not so much in order to increase my breath hold time per se (I'm no freediver) but for the meditative possibilities. The guy whose offering a course is Erwan Le Corre, founder of Movnat. Could be interesting... If I become powerful, I'll let ya know...

Luke, admittedly more emotional than most, starts crying and retreats to his room to sulk. Gender talk always puts him in a mood.

I suspect lots of folks avoided this thread because, well, who really needs another thread about sex. But this one went in some interesting and unexpected directions -- the relationship between art and cultivation -- and I'd be interested in your view. From @freeform So yes - any internal practice that’s designed to heighten sensory or hedonistic pleasure moves in exactly the opposite trajectory to the transformation above… even if it’s well-meaning and wholesome it’s trajectory is destined to lead to attachment and deeper entanglement with the base aspect of self - instead of freedom and a movement towards the higher aspects of self. And I’ve seen this happening in pretty much every school or system that focuses on hedonistic and sensual pleasure. Time after time. Anything that’s based around pleasure invariably tries to fill a deep inner dissatisfaction. In Freeform's view, as I understand it, taking pleasure in viewing or creating art may be a deep human experience but does not bring a person closer to soul or spirit because it's an entanglement with the sensory world and the original spirit is something entirely other than that. (Feel free to correct me Freeform if I've got you wrong.) Your thoughts?