liminal_luke

Like one of those Tibetan sand paintings destined to be destroyed or the oral history of a now forgotten spiritual tradition, not everything survives the ravages of (seemingly) linear time. I´m learning to deal. In my perfect world I´d have a study with a large leather bound volume -- The Collected Deletions of Taomeow -- but, alas, I do not. C´est la vie.

I think inferiority and superiority are two aspects of the same thing. Scratch the feeling of inferiority (as in some forms of depression) and you´ll find superiority. Scratch superiority and you´ll find a hidden (not very well) sense of inferiority. Different people tend towards outward shows of one or the other but they are the same. Scratching is useful. Perhaps eventually it leads towards the sense of egolessness that some here have described. I wouldn´t know. (My own tendency is to be self-deprecating like this because I tend towards inferiority. Waves at Indiken from the other side of the bleachers.) Before egolessness manifests, I think there´s a sense of wholeness when we can hold our supposed inferiority and superiority together in the same breath.

Thanks to Taomeow and ilumairen for pointing out the obvious (yet somehow easily overlooked) fact that this potential relationship involves a person with needs and desires of her own. In my opinion, most relationship difficulties are resolved easily enough once it´s deeply understood that they involve more than one person.

You might be in Canada soon where, for better or worse, not everyone shares Indian values around sex. I hear there are some beautiful women in Canada.

I´ll add my vote to the "don´t do it" column. She´s obviously not ready for the long-term commitment that is marriage. Then again -- is it OK if I say this? -- neither are you. At least not where she is concerned. Going into a marriage with the idea that the relationship will be short-term and for sex is not going to turn out well for anyone. And on top of it all, the migration to Canada thing! Nothing in the scenario you´ve written suggests a loving union. If you´re in a space of seeking mostly sexual pleasure (and hey, I´ve been there) you can do so without getting married. I would be honest about what you´re looking for and call things what they are. You realize you might sound childish and have said so. That´s OK. Go ahead and be childish but don´t get married. Have sex instead if that´s what you want. Or don´t. But save marriage for when you´re ready for it and are in a relationship with someone who is ready for it. Hope I don´t sound harsh. Just my two cents.

My forest, alas, is far from empty. It´s cluttered with contrary and contentious biases. But to the extent I´m aware of my biases, I can hold them lightly. I like to think that makes a difference. Work in progress here.

I get where this idea comes from and generally agree. 99% of the time, the revolutionary impulse that fuels radical politics doesn´t emerge from a place of spiritual purity or true compassion. Still, I don´t think we can make blanket statements about the nature of "right action." The action of the sage doesn´t always look calm and peaceful from the outside. It can be politically riotous. Martin Luther King Ghandi Jesus I´m no expert on any of these historical figures, so feel free to correct me if I´m wrong, but these are the figures that spring to my mind when I think of spiritual revolutionaries.

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Thinking about this further...guess I´d ask what kind of relationship I´d want with a teacher in order to best faciliate my own spiritual growth. And is this teacher someone I can relate to on the level I need to given their expressed political views?

Indiken, I suspect you won´t find many people here who want to humiliate you. That may or may not be what you´re used to, but it´s probably for the best. Luke

In my view, good cultivation gives a kind heart. But who is kind? It´s common to judge someone´s virtue according to how closely their worldview aligns with our own. Let me illustrate by sharing a few of my own values. As a gay left-leaning man, I believe kind people support gay marriage. They don´t care if trans people use a bathroom that doesn´t correspond to their anatomy. Kind people voted against Trump. Kind people support a women´s right to abortion. They probably don´t own more than one gun or drive a pick-up truck. (Apologies to my gun-toting, macho vehicle driving friends. I know I´m crazy.) My understanding of right action in the world is very specific and particular. Many Bums will disagree with me. A few might think that people like me are responsible for much that is wrong in the world. There´s no doubt I´m biased, though not any more than most. Imagine if I put every potential teacher through my kindness checklist! Is it possible that I´d eliminate a few good ones? I think so, yes. This is why I don´t require my teachers to think like me.

I´ve learned a lot from teachers with wack opinions and personalities. Some of the best instruction comes from people who´ve specialized in life and know how to do X really, really well -- but you wouldn´t want to go to them for A, B, or C. Great tai chi, lousy family relationships. Precious alchemical knowledge, bizarro politics. Expecting all-around perfection in our teachers is usually a trap. Then again, I suppose it depends on the kind of student / teacher relationship one seeks. It´s easier to stomach a teacher who doesn´t align with ourselves in significant ways in a learn-n-go situation. If one is seeking to become a disciple my perspective may not apply.

Maybe luck is like yin and yang. You´ve got your yin and your yang, you´ve got your good luck and your bad luck. And you´ve got your yin within the yang, your yang within the yin. That´s second level. The luckiest thing is to see the good luck within the bad. Then nothing can touch you.

Hi Indiken, May I offer you a suggestion? It´s rarely useful to offer your take on the personality flaws of your fellow Bums. If you read enough of my posts you´ll likely notice negative things you could point out about me. You might well be right too. But please don´t, OK? If we were close personal friends I might -- emphasis on the might -- be open to your feedback. From someone on the internet it´s almost a 100% certainty I won´t be listening. I mention this because I think you´re hoping to find a supportive community here and nurture friendships with people who will be able to offer guidance and comaraderie as you grow in your spiritual practice. That´s what most of us want, certainly what I want. Comments like the above are more likely to create hostility than foster relationships. If you don´t find a particular thread useful or enjoy the contributions of a particular Bum, best just to move on and find what you do like. I offer this suggestion knowing you might not be open to it. If you think I´m being critical you´ll probably shut me down right away. LIke I say, that´s what people normally do. Touche! I´ll be off and take a swig of my own medicine now. Luke

double post

My suggestion is so obvious it hardly needs saying but I´ll say it anyway: Go slowly. Walker suggests 30 minutes of shaking to get the immune boosting effect. That´s a lot! At least for a lazy shaker like me. Since you´ve had an adverse reaction to other shaking forms I would take it extremely slowly. What if you did one minute of shaking a day for a week? Preferably at the same time each day to help establish a habit. Be aware of your body and emotional state as you shake and if you get the feeling you´ve had enough stop -- even if you´re just a few seconds into your practice. You´re building the ability to monitor your own reactions and customize the practice to your own physiology. This is important because after all...awareness rules. After a week of practicing 1 minute of shaking a day take a moment to ponder. Does this feel good? Would I like to increase my practice time? If so, you can revv things up to perhaps 2 minutes a day. At this rate the pandemic may well be largely over by the time you get to the suggested 30 minutes. (Let´s hope so!) No matter. You´ll be ready for the next immune challenge.

I don´t know if there´s anyone who doesn´t have a little bit of craziness. Life is very hard and it gets you. my partner, Jose

Although I know better, I´m doing that thing where I assume the nurse in question is heterosexual. I´m assuming she is attracted to men in spite of (or perhaps because of) their alledgedly limited behavioral repetoire. Which leads me to wonder...a happily married nurse? (PS. I´m not sure I´d want to be under the care of a nurse who knew you well and continued to hold those beliefs. She might get my meds mixed up.)

You can´t always map out the journey from the outset, because it´s the journeying itself that teaches you where you need to go next.

Very cool! I sometimes do this kind of freewriting as a warm-up to more structured writing, often as a way to generate ideas. My brain often gives me metaphors, something that doesn´t happen much otherwise.

I´ve done lots of process-oriented not-for-rereading writing in the form of Morning Pages, a la Julia Cameron´s The Artist Way. The idea is to write 3 handwritten pages of whatever comes to mind without stopping or editing in any way. Contrary to the rules, I ususually write on my laptop and way more than the 3 pages suggested, usually a minimum of 3000 words. (Clearly I should get out more.) Although I have some misgivings about the practice, I mostly find it therapeutic. As I write I´m very aware of my bodies reaction to the process of writing itself and often my entry is a sort of running log of those reactions -- lots of yawning, sometimes tears, unusually deep breaths, chattering teeth, relaxation of my face, neck, chest. I can start out in a bad mood and it will eventually clear if I just write enough. Often there´s a sense of emerging into the external environment...not sure how to put it ...I can be all wrapped up in myself and my words and then I kind of pop out and take a renewed interest in my surroundings. When this pop out happens, I figure it´s about time to quit. My hesitation with this practice is that the writing itself can be quite negative. It´s not butterfly and rainbow stuff. Maybe this is the power of this kind of writing....trauma processing? catharsis? It´s just that I sometimes wonder if focusing negatively like that is just deepening neuroemotional grooves I´d rather not deepen. (If others have thoughts on this question, please share.) Not sure if this bears any resemblance to Nikkido but it´s what came to mind.

I think there´s some truth to the idea that sex is accompanied by an exchange of energy but I don´t think it´s literal. In my opinion, sex with a spiritual person won´t confer spiritual interest or abilities (though good pillow talk might). If sexual energy exchange was a literal thing my Spanish would be much better.

Do you have easy access to Hulu but not to a national forest? If so you might be interested in the series Vacation In Place. No people, no music, no drama of any kind. Just someone walking slowly along a path in a beautiful natural setting with a camera. My partner and I enjoyed watching together.

My intuitive sense -- could be wrong -- is that human subtle anatomy has not changed significantly in centuries and is largely the same across cultures. What might have changed is our capacity to consciously access it. My feet are nearly identical anatomically to those of my caveman ancestors, but I, personally, cannot outrun a brontosaurus. Your milage my vary.

It´s probably not the form of "cultivation" you were thinking of, but being in a relationship can be pretty tough.