liminal_luke

Earl, If I was more clever with song lyrics I´d try my hand at composing a nice roast over on your toasting & roasting thread. As it is, suffice it to say that if I ever thought spiritual people didn´t "get angry" or were "party-poopers" you´ve disabused me of that notion.

My practice advice? (1) Don´t fight with Earl Grey. Ditto for Freeform. You don´t have to take everything they say as gospel or choose to follow their path. I don´t. Freeform has explained at length and with great passion why males shouldn´t engage in a certain practice that shall go unnamed, but do I listen? I do not. But I don´t challenge him either. Believe it or not, both of these Bums are disciplined, knowledgeable, practiced, and helpful. Warring with people on the internet is a big distraction from your practice. (2) Cultivate humility. (3) Embrace boredom. There´s no need to chase after alledged high-power practices. Often it´s the simple things, so often overlooked, that turn out to be the most potent. You won´t always recognize the magic when it´s happening. Sometimes you´ll be bored doing the same basic practice for the uumpteenth time and won´t know till later how deeply it´s transforming you.

I did! Part of me rebelled against the idea of sharing an octopus body with a certain Bum. In my defense, said Bum is unlikely to want to share an octopus body with my either. Maybe someday I´ll gain an experiential sense of Manitou´s mystical vision but for now I am still struggling in the hell pit of illusory separation. C´est la vie. Unlike Taomeow´s hungry cat, who really did need caring attention, my interpersonal squabbles can safely be forgotten.

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Hear that bell? That`s the ring of truth.

Sounds wonderful! It goes without saying that I wasn´t raised like that. The whole of my spiritual practice boils down to an attempt to return to that sense of innocence, ease and safety. (If you´ve got suggestions in this regard, I´m all ears. Maybe I´ll check out the book.)

Yes. I think truth is always paradoxical, beyond language. Perhaps this is why you so often post in pictures and prefer feelings to words?

Even the Dalai Lama feeds his cat. (I just made that up. Maybe he instructs an underling to feed his cat. Maybe he doesn´t have a cat so that feeding rituals and vet visits won´t get in the way of meditation. Nah...I prefer to think of him with a cat, a stubborn mewling tabby, that he feeds himself.) I don´t have a cat but I do have taxes to pay, healthy meals that aren´t gonna cook themselves, a partner who needs encouragement to get out of the apartment. If only "letting things be" meant that I didn´t have to do any of those things, I´d stay in bed reading all day. To me, letting things be means something akin to the Breema Bodywork principle of No Extra. In Breema they say it like this: to express our true nature, nothing extra is needed. What is extra? Extra is all the extraneous thoughts and feelings we needlessly add, conceptual grit obscuring the stillness that would otherwise shine through our movements. It´s possible to feed the cat with all the awareness and grace of a master performing a tea ceremony. No extra. Can we feed the cat without making up stories about the feeding? No resentment about how much work it is. No excitement about how healthy the cat is going to be with his new tuna fish diet. Can we feed the cat in a way that is naked and pure and beautifully spare? To me, that´s letting things be. The cat gets fed; we express our cat-owner nature; the tao flows on.

True. Then again, he "reserved the right to be wrong."

It has been an amazing "progression and process." I think it´s just possible Marbles had something to do with it.

Hi Anand, Thank you for your post. I felt bad because I don´t think you should ever have been banned. I believe it was my report that resulted in your ban. I am a gay man. I thought you knew that and were calling me a "lady" and then a "fairy" as a way of making fun of me. Posts by other Bums convinced me that I was wrong. I now believe that it was an honest mistake on your part and you meant me no harm. So I feel bad for jumping to the conclusion that you were trying to insult me. I should have talked to you more clearly and asked questions before assuming something bad. If I had, this unfortunate incident could have been avoided. I now believe this whole thing was just a mistake, a mistake that was not your fault. You will do what is best for you, of course, but I hope that this mistake doesn´t stop you from posting on the forum. There is a lot of love for you here. My apologies for the miscommunication, Luke

In light of Taomeow´s Iching reading and the timing of all this, I can´t help but think maybe there´s some cosmic significance to this. There´s been some turbulence, sure, but maybe it´s been meaningful turbulence? I know I learned something, anyway.

Group hug?

I feel bad for my part in this. If people are in email contact with Limahong (I´m not) please relay my apology.

LIke many, I operate in a bit of a bubble, often assuming that other people easily make the same leaps of logic that I do and that we are all operating in a similar cultural milieu. Clearly I´m mistaken. I´ve never before had a negative interaction with Limahong and bear him no ill will. If he never meant to be insulting and this is just a cultural misunderstanding on my part than let´s end his ban now and chalk it all up to botched communication. (I seem to be really striking out in the clarity department. When I wrote above "He deserves a (brief, gentle) time out" that was in reference to Sean, not Limahong. I just don´t like seeing the F-word used in an insulting way, not even towards someone who really has been abusive towards others. )

No, you´re not. We´re all grateful to Sean. He created and maintains this beautiful space which has positively contributed to the lives of so many. He came back at a critical point and saved the forum from falling into the political hell realms. He champions values I believe in, courageously standing up for historically oppressed and disenfrancised people everywhere. But he does deserve a (gentle, brief) time out.

Can I make a suggestion? Let´s go back to enforcing an across-the-board insult policy. This would be a more friendly place if we build a culture where personal attacks aren´t allowed to stand. The beauty of such a rule is that it´s not tied to any one ideology: any post that showed an intent to insult or demean would count. So, if I call someone a Trumpster jerk, that´s a reportable offense. If I call someone a left-wing snowflake fairy, reportable offense. At the same time, we could lighten up on the punishments. First-time or very occasional offenders could simply be asked to edit the insult out of their posts. Repeat insulters could be given very short, say 3 day, suspensions. Lets save actual bans for those few situations where a Bum staunchly refuses to follow the policy, consistently bringing down the quality of the forum experience for everyone else.

I wish things were a little more chill around here these days. There are multiple threads going on right now calling out particular members, flame wars raging out of control. If only I really was a fairy and could dust this place with be-nice powder -- I think we need it. The current bruhaha started a page or so back when Limahong referred to Taomeow and I as "ladies." I´m not a lady and posted a reply making this clear. I also stated that I felt Limahong made an honest mistake about my gender. Such mistakes are easy to make as we (mostly) haven´t met in person; I´ve made such mistakes here myself. Subsequent posts by Limahong made it clear, however, that he was misrepresenting my gender intentionally, and, when he went so far as to call me a fairy, I decided to make a report. I´m gay and this isn´t the first time I´ve been called a fairy. It´s a standard homophobic slur and that´s how I took it. That said, I had no idea Limahong would be banned. I´ll go so far as to ask @sean that he be reinstated. (Maybe he could be requested to edit the fairy post.) Don´t get me wrong -- it´s wonderful having a moderator who so clearly stands up for the dignity of all people. I´m thrilled. But if we go around banning everybody who has ever made a racist, homophobic, transphobic, or "right wing bullshit" remark there will be precious few of us left. We´re all in this together. In life together, online together. We´ve all been hurt and are at various stages of dealing with the varied stuff life has thrown at us. A few of us are veritable sages or on the verge of sagehood; others, not so much. But the beauty of a place like this is that every once in awhile we all come together in mutual respect and glorious imperfection. Lets honor Marblehood´s memory with our kindness.

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Thanks. I figure it was probably an honest mistake on Limahong´s part. Still, it´s worth noting that Marblehead had a thing for the ladies and I wouldn´t have met his criteria.

Aw darn! Stepped out for a minute. Came back and got a notification that I was "mentioned" but too late.

I wasn´t thinking anything except WOW. Perhaps you were being dramatic for effect, but I read you as meaning exactly what you said. Other people think/feel that way too -- not many say so in such a straightforward, bold way.

That´s beautiful. I remember when I first discovered that Bums had official friends here. Not sure whether that´s still a part of the profile page or not, but back then you could officially "friend" someone and their avatar showed up as your friend on your page. Anyway, I bemoaned the fact that I didn´t have any friends. Or not many anyway, I forget. Marblehead stepped forward and officially friended me saying that he wanted to be a friend to everyone. We saw things differently politically, had different cultural affiliations, but Marblehead crossed the aisle to see me as a person. It felt good.

Lost cause or no, it´s great to see you again. Get well soon!

Most of the arguments on here are like that, I think. People get an idea of who I am, often a mistaken and negative idea, and just run with it. I´d like to be the kind of person who effortlessly disengages from the conversation when it´s clear nothing good will come of it. That´s hard to do though, at least for me.