liminal_luke

Thanks, Cobie. No worries about supporting me or not supporting me. I am not lobbying for people to respond one way or the other, only passing on what Darius wanted to tell the board.

I´ve been in contact with Darius and he asked me to post the following apology for him (with permission from the moderators)... I am sorry. I got carried away and wasn’t thinking clear. In the heat of the moment, so to speak, I didn’t feel like I did anything wrong. The comment by blue eyed snake made me at least start to reconsider tho. Happily, luke contacted me by mail, and told me how I came across while remaining really civil about it, and I realize he is correct. I shouldn’t have said any of the things I did. I sincerely apologize to you all. I do not believe anyone are inheritley bad or wrong based on their background.

It can be wonderfully affirming to read about the contributions people in one´s in-group (whatever that happens to be) have made to the world. Perhaps this is why many gays get a kick out of watching the "fab five" give clueless heteros makeovers on the TV show Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. I like the show too, nevermind the fact that my own style is woefully in need of an upgrade. Look at the amazing things my tribe members can do! The downside of public proclamations of fabulousness is that bragging brings out the naysayers. There´s always a Yin to take down the Yang (or vice versa if you prefer). Alas, such is the case here.

I had no idea Dostoevsky was still alive.

This feels very apropo this time of year when so many of us take stock of ourselves, discover perceived deficiencies, and endeavor to "improve." If I find fault with myself, I´m hardly easier with friends and family who often, in my thoughtful estimation, could use some improvement themselves. What if everything is alright just the way it is? Blasphemy, I know. Ironically, I believe that nonacceptance of the present moment is the biggest obstacle to change. Acceptance is karmic WD40, lubricating the wheels of positive transformation. The more I´m down on myself, the less energy I´ll have to metamorphasize into the thinner, stronger, even-keeled man I hope to become.

@Geof Nanto When I first heard about the new AI programs I was determined to stay away. But in the way of so many of my resolutions, that determination fizzled and now I ask Gemini all sorts of questions. I don´t think it´s as advanced as ChatGPT as it just seems to find things on the web that I could probably find myself, but it is an easy and fun way to get an initial take on a question. Anyway, I don´t really have any comments on the actual topic of this thread, but wanted to say that you seem very thoughtful about your use of AI.

Cultural appropriation is looked down on in certain circles but human beings have always burrowed from each other. Burrowed stuff is inevitably different from where it came from -- often worse, occasionally better, but always different. Chinese food in Mexicali is served with skillet-fried chiles and limes. Mexican restaurants in the United States, unlike in most of Mexico, serve a lot of margaritas. When my partner wanted to sell paintings at a local gallery here in Ensenada, Baja California he was told to paint pictures of naked women and portraits of Frida Kahlo because that´s what cruiseship passengers would buy. Yoga classes at my local gym likely have a different vibe than yoga in India. This is the way of things. There will always be traditionalists and innovators. Personally, I´m glad for both.

In old3bob´s defense, it´s been a very long year.

The 2024 Hater’s Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog | Defector

Back in the day, I used to attend 12-step meetings. People would complain in the meeting about how awful their lives were and then we´d all go to coffee afterwards; I´d dish to my friends about how so-and-so didn´t really have it that bad and just needed to buck up. Taobums is kind of the opposite of that. People come on and say that they have an established spiritual practice, enjoy teaching others, and just generally seem like they´ve got their lives together. Then we all go out to virtual coffee and dish about how they´ve deluded themselves into faux-happiness and are actually mired in horrific denial.

The more I´m bound up with karma, the more I have to gain from present-moment consciousness. Being in the present moment is a powerful way to unhook.

Personally, I don´t know what happens after death but I do think it´s possible to have an informed opinion. Is it possible to remember past deaths? Is it possible to be in communication with loved ones who have died or trustworthy spirits willing to fill us in? Is it possible to develop a kind of intuitive knowingness that confers, well, knowledge? I like to think all of these things are possible. This said, there´s no doubt that, as you say, "what truly matters is what is happening in this moment."

The usual thing is to locate the transcendent above but I think we can reach the same metaphysical "place" by going within. Abiding in the center -- wherever that is! -- we arrive at a sort of inner heaven, a place where the polarity between inner and outer, breaks down and loses meaning. To integrate our awareness into the center is to transcend: it´s a singular process.

friends don´t let friends drink and post

In a sense, emotional processing work and nondual traditions are aligned. Emotional processing is targeted disidentifiction. We become aware of our emotions in order to skillfully avoid being emotionally consumed. Many people come to therapy, for instance, because they have trouble regulating their emotions. Perhaps they´re consumed by rage or envy or sorrow. It´s precisely awareness of these feelings, facilitated by emotional processing, that allows for a bit of psychic distance -- and distance that in turn relieves suffering. When I´m aware of anger, for instance, I can notice that I´m working with two parts: the anger itself, and the part of me that is aware of the anger. Awareness is not angry, it´s just aware -- a crucial insight. Realizing that there is a part of me that is separate from my anger allows for some degree of freedom, some degree of choice. I´m not compelled into a fistfight willy-nilly but can back up and think. This kind of targeted disidentification isn´t a full-blown awakening but it is a kind of enlightenment-lite.

In my journaling work I do actively engage with emotion, noting what emotions are arising, where I feel them in my body, what my mind tells me they´re about. Have you heard of the psychiatrist Phil Stutz and his "tools"? A movie about him recently came out on Netflix. Anyway, he emphasizes shadow work and developing a relationship with one´s shadow as a key to psychological growth. I´m thinking of buying his shadow-work webinar. So yes, I´m very into approaches that involve actively going towards emotion. I agree that vipassana is more passive in this regard, neither going towards nor shrinking from emotion. But believe me -- plenty of emotions can come up during an extended retreat! To me, approaches that aim to process emotions, such as various forms of psychotherapy, and nondual spiritual practices are different things. There´s some overlap but the focus and aims are different. I think they´re both good! Come dinnertime, some people prefer a big hunk of steak, others a loaded baked potato. Me, I go for the combo -- ruthlessly combining those meaty nondual juices with the carby goodness of a feeling-foward tuber. Or something like that...

Thanks @Bindi for that explanation. I agree that learning to be with emotions, rather than somehow bypassing or running away from them, is of utmost importance. It´s a key part of my path as well. I often do my own version of "morning pages," the practice of stream-of-consciousness freewriting popularized by Julia Cameron in her book The Artist´s Way. The process is invariably emotional for me and I often find myself crying into my morning latte at cafes, to the chagrin and possible discomfort of other customers, alas. Be that as it may, I find the process helpful and always feel better and more centered afterwards. I´ve learned much about myself this way. Where I disagree is the idea that emotional processing is incompatible with nondual traditions. This hasn´t been my experience. Many years ago I attended a long vipassana retreat and lots of emotion came up during my sitting time. Normally I would of distracted myself from the uncomfortable feelings with donuts or Netflix or (shudders!) online forum writing -- but of course none of my usual outlets were available at the retreat center. Instead I was instructed simply to be with the emotions as they appeared. My meditation teachers were not psychotherapists and the process didn´t have an explicitly psychological aim but in practice I found it very healing on an emotional level. I do agree that some people use nondual meditation techniques to spiritually "bypass" emotions. In my view, this is a misuse of such techniques and a good teacher would notice when that´s happening and encourage students to be with what comes up -- even sometimes uncomfortable emotion.

@Bindi This isn´t your first transcendence / integration rodeo. I remember threads addressing this question years ago, and the topic seems to be of great and lasting interest to you. If you care to share, I think it might turn the conversation in a useful direction to know a little bit more about the history of your interest in this area and why it seems important to you. (Of course I understand if you´d rather not share.)

"You got chocolate in my peanut butter!" -- Two great tastes that taste good together. (from the Reese´s commercial)

Or could it be that the apparent differences between integration and transcendence are illusory, two sides of the same spiritual coin? Of course there are all kinds of traditions practicing all sorts of ways; perhaps some teachers really do skip over the body and the emotions in their race to transcendence. But for me, the paths that seem most genuine will always include both approaches rather going either/or. Integration can be a path to transcendence. Engaging courageously with the personal and specific opens the door to that which is universal.

Actually, I´m a big believer in essential oils. Here is the one I want in my stocking in case of another bad outbreak of Covid, Antiviral Magic Extra Strength in Sesame Seed Oil – Original Swiss Aromatics. Put me down as agnostic about santa.

From a meme I just read here, christmas memepool - by el gato malo - bad cattitude Please allow children to believe in santa. You believe in essential oils and no one is ruining it for you.

I know you want a telephone number or an email address, something concrete and muggle-ish, but sometimes the best way to get ahold of someone is prayer. By prayer I don´t mean the recitation of liturgy or some kind of fevered supplication, but rather a gentle openess to connect with a lineage. You might sense how the mere existence of spiritual masters is benefiting you and all humankind energetically, even if you never come into physical contact, and generate feelings of gratitude. You might bring to mind all that you´ve learned in your life and thank the in-person teachers that you did in fact meet and their teachers, the ancestral line of your learning. Trust the universe. Even now the right teachers are waiting for you to open your heart-door and invite them in.

It´s not so strange to get erections at funerals. I remember that one time I was asked, along with five other burly-looking men, to be a ball bearer.

Where´s the beef? Where’s the Beef? 40th Anniversary