dwai

I think it has to do with whether one is in a balanced, transmitting, or receptive mode. The larger the field is, the more powerful the impact, especially if we are receptive or in a receptive mode. But that is also a good place to resolve issues that resonate with us. Through the entire 2020 pandemic, right up to November of 2020, the air was literally thick with depression, anger, fear -- and having the realization that the mind will pick up stuff that is most prevalent in the astral and causal layers, but YOU are not the mind helps resolve/dissolve these things. My teacher told me that to overcome these things, we need more clarity, and more "radiance" -- I find it to be the case. The stronger our field gets, the more it clears such things -- like if my teacher goes to any place, the vibrations of that space go up in frequency, and low moods get uplifted, and so on. We can feel his field span a radius of several miles, from wherever he is.

had leftover food from last night, and a stuffed indian flatbread -- potato and fenugreek stuffing (we call it Aloo Paratha), with hot and spicy ketchup

You are not your mind — you feel bad because you identify with the mind. Used to happen to be a lot, until I understood that (one aspect of) the mind is, it is a storehouse of impressions and memories. You don’t have to feel bad about them — just don’t identify with them.

Word!

I resonate with Yueya's words quite a bit. The way I've been taught from the Daoist tradition is really very understated -- not much emphasis on jargon, but rather on the way (how-to), a taste of what it feels like -- transmission from teacher to student - though it was understood that not everything can be "fed" like that...somethings, especially understanding/realization arises on its own, and a strong emphasis on experience/feeling which could then be corroborated with the teacher, and constant and strong guidance to let go, and become "empty". Maybe on account of both my teachers being musicians, and with myself having musical inclinations, the "feel/flow/follow" concept seemed to gel with me. I find that other artist friends seem to be able to grok this much easier than hard science/extremely logic-oriented people. Others have not been able to relate to this, as they expected (and required) a far more regimented approach. Maybe this is so as Taijiquan is the vessel via which I've been taught -- though, within that body is also contained a lot of seated, standing meditation instructions -- those who do only the "taijiquan dance" might not even recognize what is being done if they saw what we work on This may be also because the Master who brought it to the West didn't want to confuse his students with jargon galore, but in simple terms and direct transmission explain and show. My first teacher is more academic -- so he wrote notes, collated his teacher's words -- albeit not so much in terms of technical jargon, but more as commentary/recording of those teachings -- which he handed over in their entirety to myself and another brother when he moved to a different part of the country -- that is a well I drink from again and again. My current teacher/master transmits more than relying on words -- he says, and I'm paraphrasing, that at higher levels, words cannot capture precisely what is, and I've actually experienced everything he told me about - phenomena, sensations, capabilities -- and I think I've been able to transmit (as much as I was able to assimilate) to the handful of people I've taught myself. What is the most profound is right from the early stages (after a couple of years of instruction), there was a "pointing to" -- as in, "what you seek is not to be found outside, or even inside, per se" -- parables, metaphors galore -- which was entirely baffling at first, until little recognitions started to arise, little by little -- and it became like a universal master key -- unlocking wisdom traditions across the spectrum. At a certain point, the path unfolds on its own -- and it might very well be that it unfolds differently for different people -- for me, it became syncretic, with Yoga and then Vedanta (though I'm also guilty of sipping from Buddhism, and when introduced to it, from Kashmir Shaivism as well). And the Daodejing is the source manuscript as I understand it -- everything is already in it -- everything else is just more commentary/explorations of what it contains.

Merits are preferable than demerits. Better to be free of both, imho

Yes Emperor Ming certainly fits the bill

Dear Frank, Welcome. Have you explored mushrooms such as cordyceps, lions mane etc? Qigong etc will certainly help, but it seems for a chronic problem, a more profound inspection into your lifestyle might be useful — which you are already doing. Good luck and best wishes, Dwai

Is that you playing? -- it's beautiful!

I miss @Still_Waters @Pilgrim @Spotless— they are wise and have great depth of knowledge and compassion.

What are your answers?

Maybe a weekend (Saturday sometime)?

I've been contemplating the idea of video chats among the Bums. What if, any interest would there be for such an activity/series of activities? There's a lot of collective wisdom here among the bums, and it might be a good idea to do face-to-face video chats etc and actually get to know each other a bit more?

We’ll only know when we try it out 😃

Another way to drive the MCO is what is called the “indirect method” in Temple Style Tai Chi parlance (Waysun Liao’s system) — generate a taiji ball between your palms and connect the mind to the center of the ball. Then roll the ball upward and downward — when this taiji ball becomes substantial, it will naturally drive the flow from dantian via the back channel and downward the front channel — just keep the tongue up. How to build a taiji ball — Here's an hour-long free tutorial by Master Liao on creating a Taiji ball https://www.taichitao.tv/programs/taichi-connect-engineering-a-taichi-ball-master-waysun-liao-4192020 The rationale I've been given is that working directly with the MCO, using the mind to drive the flow is hard, because it depends on how concentrated the mind is, and often the mind will skip over blockages. The indirect way uses qi to induce the flow and it is a gentler and efficient way to go about this. Also, a very powerful way to do the MCO is using the "rotate oar" form. I use both the methods I have outlined personally and frankly, I got more mileage out of them than with seated MCO mental method. This is not a free course (below) but it is quite affordable. https://www.taichitao.tv/programs/taichi-video-rotate-oar?categoryId=7048

Here’s another good one — https://www.internalartsinternational.com/free/daoist-meditation-lesson-eight-theory-golden-fluid-the-micro-cosmic-orbit/#Ren_and_Du_The_Micro-Cosmic_Orbit

Imho, those with the best karmic results, are the ones who get on the spiritual path. Fraught with trials and tribulations though it may be. Anyone on a genuine spiritual journey is reaping the rewards of good deeds from previous lives.

Everything that @steve said Also we have to consider the following in the Hindu context — According to Hindu/Vedic dharma, two paths are outlined — one of a monk and one of a householder. If one chooses to become a monk, then they have in essence given up their former identity to become formal renunciants in their specific lineage — they give up their name, familial ties and so on, and even perform their own last rites before taking the vows of monk-hood. Their path is dictated by the lineage and its ultimate goal is moksha or liberation. It’s the other one that is interesting for most of us — that of the householder. The dharma outlined four different stages of life — that of a celibate student, acquiring secular and spiritual knowledge — that of a householder, participating and contributing to society with their professional skills — that of the retiree, ie retiring to the forest (literally termed forest-dweller stage), where they contemplate on the spiritual teachings, after bequeathing their worldly possessions to their heirs (or the state) — that of the renunciant, taking the path of the monk (outlined earlier) to live out the rest of their life in pursuit of spiritual liberation (or getting as close as possible). The householder category is given some guidelines as to how live — There are four goals by which to govern oneself and one’s conduct in life — - dharma — the guidelines of how to stay in harmony with the dharma, what are the do’s and don’ts - Artha — acquisition of sufficient material comfort to enable oneself and one’s family to live per dharma and work towards the highest of these goals - moksha - Kama — this is the healthy sense fulfillment, per dharma - Moksha — spiritual liberation, breaking the cycle of rebirth and realizing unity with the Godhead and/or Self-realization.

That’s a very good question. And it’s sort of difficult to do in the modern context. Here are my thoughts, imho — One factor is aptitude. What is my natural aptitude for? I’m looking at it from a function perspective — Do I have a natural aptitude for healing? Do I feel drawn towards it from a deep sense of compassion, or even if a reason for it is missing? Do I have a natural aptitude for business? Or do I have a warrior spirit? Do I feel a pull towards protecting others, do I stand up and act upon seeing injustice? Or am I an intellectual type, and deep thinking, academic study comes naturally to me? I think if people start evaluating/looking at themselves from such angles, we might be closer to finding out personal dharma.

This popped up today — thought it’s relevant to the OP

Yes I’ve seen this video as well — very good

Why not write to Damo or his group and ask for a discounted rate after explaining your trouble? You might be surprised by what a little bit of humility and honesty can get you. I know teachers who waive fees altogether if students are going through financial trouble -- my own teacher offered to waive his fees when I was at risk of getting laid off at point -- it wasn't that he charged a lot, but it was a genuine gesture of a genuine teacher. Thankfully, I was able to afford to continue paying him -- as students, we have a responsibility towards our teachers. They share their knowledge and wisdom with us, and we must ensure that they can continue to do so for the benefit of all others who approach them as well.

What is a "chop"? Is that a personal seal of the author?

Many good suggestions here. IMHO, since you are in university, I'm going to assume you are below 30 -- I would recommend you take up a good moving meditation practice -- something that will give you a bit of a workout, and also help you with your mind/focus (to help with your academics and further spiritual studies). If you like a more vigorous type of workout, take up Xingyi practice or Chen style Taijiquan. If you like a more subtle and meditative practice, learn the Chen Man Ching style (CMC 37) from a competent teacher. Looks like you already have your diet etc well sorted out -- that'll give you a good balanced mind-body-energetic practice -- and these arts are gifts that keep on giving -- the more you put into them, the deeper and more profound their returns, life-long.