fiveelementtao

Dude... talk about going in one ear and out the other... I said I don't care about evolution vs intelligent design so I am not going to even address your very faulty logic in regard to these definitions..... I know those intellectual distinctions and definitions are important to you. You are also being very selective and evasive as to any questions about your emotional agenda or your beliefs. Screw the rest of it I don't care about any of that stuff. I know that you don't believe in Evolution and I believe I know why. I am trying to find out what you believe or what you want to believe..... In your beliefs... Who created the Universe? Who created Human beings? Please answer and quit avoiding the questions. The only way I am going to be able to find anything redeaming about your posts is if I understand your emotional agenda...

In your opinion perhaps... That is a very definitive statement that is not self evident. It may be how you feel but just by stating that opinion as fact does not make it so... However, I do not share your opinion. This is what I see missing in what you present. Many, many many people absolutely categorically disagree with your conclusion. Are we all just abunch of ignorant simpletons that can be forced into your opinons by making a bunch of unsubstantiated statements you feel are facts? The point here for me is to understand your emotional agenda behind your beliefs. That is what I want to stay focused on. I am not interested in allowing you to devolve this into the usual arguments you like to have. I am asking about YOU. I want to bring you back to my main question which is: What is YOUR personal, emotional agenda with this issue? So, what I am hearing in this statement is that for you, unless there is some higher intelligence, be it a god or an alien or some other force that imposes its will upon material reality and fashions life in a very obvious way, then you feel as though you live in an empty Universe and you are alone... That is your emotional issue that I believe you are projecting onto science. IMO, I don't think you have a scientific need to understand the process of creation, you have an emotional need to prove to yourself that you are not alone in the Universe and that some higher being loves you and has a purpose for your life. Well, guess what... I have those very same beliefs and emotional needs as you do and so do many other people that you see as "materialists" but we have differing ideas on how that was done. For us, it is OK if these processes are very subtle. Just because there isn't a "made in heaven" stamp on the Universe does not negate the spiritual processes involved. In other words, just because we disagree with you does not mean we are duped or idiots... Why is subtlety so frightening to you? Why must the spiritual processes that created our Universe be blatantly obvious to you? Why can you not accept the possibility that who or whatever created the Universe is humble and doesn't need you to give them credit for their ( his, her its') creation. I myself don't give a rat's ass how the universe was created. I am confortable with my spirituality regardless of the literal "truth". However the Universe was created will in no way minimize the spiritual truth of my exstence... I find any "proof" interesting and if I am able to be persuaded by the objective evidence I will be happy to explore the spiritual ramifications of it. I do have an agenda with you which is to try and understand the emotional roots of your obsession and my perception of you as an obsessed, frightened person who needs to prove his own agenda at any cost... So, please tell me what do you believe? Who or what do you think created the Universe?

Thank you. I appreciate your honesty in answering that question. OK, so that I and others can now have a better appreciation of your posts, what then is your agenda? How does it benefit you and us to dissuade people from evolution? I do not mean any aggression in this post. But, I believe that knowing one's agendas and those of others helps to establish common ground. So, this is the background of these questions now. It is clear that you feel very strongly about this. It is clear that you feel that this information is extremely important or you would not keep raising the same issues over and over again. It is clear that you feel that we need this information for our spiritual well being. That is why you keep coming across as a religious fundamentalist. You do understand that in your zeal to prove your beliefs you frequently use extremely questionable sources. You also use very vague ( albeit interesting) evidence from which you make very large leaps in conclusions. i.e. Visual anomolies on video which you then present as irrefutable evidence of prehistoric civilizations which you then state as irrefutable evidence against evolution... For example, some strange looking lines on a video of a sea floor does not necessitate the conclusions you arrive at. If in fact your beliefs that the theory of evolution is somehow harmful to our spiritual well being and if in fact you really are concerned about helping people understand their true origins, I believe it is in your best interest to be more objective in your research and less eager to jump to conclusions that only favor your understandings... I have these same interests, but my conclusions are very different than yours. What I don't understand is why the theory of evolution is perceived by you as such a dangerous threat to your beliefs. If you were a fundamentalist christian, it would make sense because you would have a very specific religious agenda to promote and defend. You obviously have an agenda that colors your interpretations and drives your research, I just don't know what it is. It appears that your agenda is a religous or spiritual one otherwise, I do not think you would care so much about proving it to others. If I knew what your agenda was, it might make me more willing to listen to you. If you're not a christian, then, who cares if we are descended from aliens or God created us or if the gods decided to spend aeons crafting bodies that could then house divine intelligence? That is what evolution is to me. You haven't stated what your belief is and why evolution is so threatening to your belief. This makes you appear that you are hiding something and it engenders distrust against you especially from people like me who were raised in fundamentalist christian homes... I guess I am saying that from your posts I get the feeling that there is a desperation and a disconnect somewhere in your motivations that creates such an intensity in you that you are willing to overlook objectivity and grasp at anything and everything to support your beliefs even if the evidence does not support them. and then you feel the need to barrage us with your very unsubstantiated conclusions. And even though some on this forum may take a casual interest in some "evidence" you bring here, I still don't know what bearing any of it has on the intended focus of this forum which is energetic and spiritual cultivation... You don't share any of your meditative or cultivation practices, so I don't know what you have in common with people here. I guess I am saying that if you really want to be taken seriously by more people, I suggest a more sober and rational approach to your research and the presentation of your ideas. I especially suggest against sweeping conclusions like "The tree of life is thoroughly debunked" perhaps replace it with headlines like, "strange evidence raises questions into our origins" Then I think people like me would be less irritated with your posts and want to attack your credibility or motives... Anyway something to think about.

Why will you not answer questions about your personal agenda? We all have one. So, what's yours? Can you at least confirm or deny whether or not you are a creationist Christian? Why the secrecy? If you choose not to answer, I will assume that you are a christian seeking to find converts on a taoist forum. I know others feel similarly. If we are mistaken, there is no reason to avoid the question. If you are a fundamentalist seeking to convert people to christianity, that would be the only reason I can think of why you would avoid the question... So, are you or not?

I have 30 years of exorcism experience. So, take that for what it's worth to you. This is what I know works... Go to whatever spiritual practitioner you trust: priest, shaman, taoist, hindu, buddhist, whatever and get an exorcism immediately. If you don't have a spiritual advisor, then find one you respect that has a tradition of exorcism and follow their advice. Then immediately go to a psychiatrist or psychologist and follow the continued recommendations of both your spiritual advisor, priest whatever and your counselor... The exorcism ritual is important for your subconscious and if there is in fact an outside entity, then it needs to be addressed. The psychological counseling is equally if not more important because an entity cannot attach itself to you without some participation on your part. Since it is probably on a very deep level beneath your consciousness, then you will need prolonged help uncovering and addressing the underlying root issues. Alot of people will respond here giving you prayers or visualizations or meditations etc... While they may be very effective tools. IME, at best you will only be covering up the real issues. If you are serious about this issue and it is in fact real. It is going to take prolonged and consistent attention otherwise, you will only cover it up for a short while and if you do not address the underlying issues, the problem will return. I guarantee that... Get an exorcism, get a counselor and stick with them especially the counselor...

My only question is: in the beginning of the first video. Why is there no one to catch these people when they fall?

OK... I'm feeling the need to weigh in on this again. I am not a Kunluner, But I have investigated it, I do practice it, have received the transmission and I am independently connected to one of the major lineages that has deeply influenced it. I think that gives me some objectivity to the discussion about the effects. I do not speak for Max or the kunlun lineage. I have not been in contact with Max for years and have not been to any subsequent seminars. So, I do not have a personal agenda to defend or attack anyone. Here is my take... It is not a black and white "Either - Or" proposition. The actual nature of the energy involved in the spontaneous practice is not being clearly understood in alot of these threads. It does have very different effects on different people and the reason for that lies in the nature of the physical energy released by the practice itself... Wang Liping explained this phenomenon very clearly in his book. In his book, he illustrates his ability to induce a spontaneous energy release similar to the effects of the spontaneous practice as taught by Jenny and Max. In one of his seminars he induced a spontaneous episode where half of the room went into spontaneous energy release: people were moving spontaneously, laughing crying, gyrating, speaking in tongues etc... He went on to explain the mechanics behind the phenomena. People who practice any spontaneous practice need to know that when they are doing the practice they are taking SPIRIT off of the throne and putting ENERGY in control. As Sifu Wang explains, SPIRIT should be in control. People are going to get into serious trouble if they abdicate complete control of their energy. That will open one's aura to be influenced by any energy or entity in their environment. Many people in the past were pursuing Kunlun as a way to escape their own issues and get high on bliss. I know that when this ruccus first came down, Max (at that time at least) had recognized this and was publicly dissuading people from using Kunlun as a means of escape just for the bliss. I haven't had any connection with Kunlun since that time, so I cannot speak about what is going on now. But, let's just assume hypothetically for the sake of argument that the naysayers are correct and Max is using this practice as a way to open people up and take their energy or gain influence on them. Just for argument's sake, even if that were true, it would not in any way absolve people of their responsibility to make choices on what they are choosing to be involved with. If people are looking to be controlled or are looking to be saved from the pain in their lives and (just for argument's sake) Max is abusing that for his own reasons, at some level anyone who does this is choosing to do so hoping to be relieved of their pain. As understandable as all that is, it is not an excuse. No one is a victim. While this doesn't absolve Max from any hypothetical responsibility, it also does not relieve anyone of their responsibility either. Yoda was the first person to publicly (As far as I know of) to come out and complain about demonic attacks as a result of Kunlun. I do not disbelieve him. I believe that the practice opened him up and for whatever reason he either released or attracted negative spiritual energy. But, I also knew Yoda before he started having problems and he chased after this stuff with more abandon than anyone. He was also chasing after "dangerous" power. So, he got what he was looking for and then when it was too much for him, and by exposing his family to his own excesses, he chose not to take any responsibility and blamed Max. Even if Max were responsible for exposing him to a naga lineage or whatever is the current accusation, it DOES NOT RELIEVE THE INDIVIDUAL OF THEIR RESPONSIBILITY. I practice the Yi Gong and I have had no negative visitations. But I also practice the demon fighting forms, so any nasty spirit that wants to come my way will get a bloody nose. If someone wants to practice a spontaneous practice, I recommend some type of protection. We are all responsible for protecting ourselves... In my experience, over the years doing exorcisms and practicing the Demon fighting internal martial forms, I have come to learn that the type of energy released will attract different kinds of entities. Some practices like the demon fighting forms will always repel negative entities. Sometimes, in the beginning, if a student is only pursuing the forms in order to gain power, the negative entities that are repulsed by the energy will at first come to attempt to frighten students away from the practice. But that is because the energy involved creates a vibration that is very unpleasant to demonic entities. But, in the case of the spontaneous practice, the energy that is released is 100% created and influenced from within the practitioner. If someone has pursued the bliss of the practice out of a need to escape personal unresolved psychological issues, then that energy is blasted into the ethers for all to smell. and any opportunistic spirits out there will come running to partake in the free feast. You can't blame wolves for coming to a fresh kill. That is their nature to do so. I also believe that the combination of the spontaneous practice and Red Pheonix is extremely powerful. I would recommend that people choosing to combine these two practices be aware that they work synergistically. I do not recommend that anyone with serious emotional or psychological issues use both of these together. I myself am very cautious with red pheonix because not only does the spontaneous practice intensify the effects, but the demon fighting forms increase the power even more, so I am cautious with the combining of all three. Please respect the power of RP. Kids who play with matches can start fires and get burned... Max has been pretty upfront about the fact that he is an adventurer and enjoys taking risks and that will influence the environment of his classes. One should take note of that before training with him and be very clear of their motives for wanting to train with anyone... and people can make their own judgements about his style of teaching and I have no need to argue for or against his teaching style. I am not seeking to absolve Max of his responsibility, but I do and will always stress that people are first and foremost responsible for the choices they make. So, what I am saying is that any spontaneous practice has the potential to attract spirits into ones aura. If you want to be safe and you have suspicions then be sure to do some kind of ritual before the practice to invite protectors to guard your aura while you practice... Perhaps take up a regular worship of a deity and make your spontaneous practice a way to merge with your chosen deity.

In all honesty this is very interesting info. And I find it very intriguing, but it doesn't disprove evolution in the slightest. I truly do not understand what your agenda is. Nothing you have shown conclusively proves or disproves anything. In fact, it only reinforces my belief that there was an even longer period of transformation that some people call "evolution." Seriously, what is your agenda with this? Yes and??.. So, the previously held Clovis first theory might have some holes in it... How does this refute evolution? Since when does an unnamed contributor on epinions.com represent any kind of real science? even so, just because people may or may not have populated the americas according to the latest theory that has ZERO impact on evolution... Again... There is no scientific corroboration. You and I can take any photo we want and write an article without any scientific corroboration or scrutiny and say whatever we want. Do yu believe everything you read if it fits your agenda? "The Chachapoyas were a tall, fairhaired, light-skinned race that some researchers believe may have come from Europe." There is no statement of any genetic tests to determine this. So, how the hell do I know they were descended from Europeans? And even if that is true... As interesting as that is that doesn't prove or disprove anything except that maybe Europeans were traveling by boat ( or for that matter walking across asia) alot earlier than earlier thought.. But it does not prove or disprove evolution in the slightest... Again very interesting if true... But doesn't disprove evolution....Just means that Humans got to the americas alot sooner than we thought... So what? Again it would be nice if all this stuff were in ONE thread....

I am relaxed. This isn't about resisting or changing beliefs or whatever else you are trying to make this about... it's about forum etiquette. There is no need for multiple threads every week on the same subject. If you like what he posts and it is just for you and no one else... great. More power to you... Just put it all into one thread and you guys can chat about it all you want.. Once again, Everything, you are feeling the need to defend someone else. I4L is perfectly capable of speaking for himself...

In your opinion, but many of us don't share that opinion. So, why force it on us? for our own good? Because this is the wrong venue for your focus. By taking up so much room on the board with infromation that is not pertinent to this forum, you are distracting at the very least and THAT is hurtful to the forum True... but they are speaking for the majority of people on this forum If your subject is relevant to them, they will follow your thread and comment on it. look at the phoenix qigong thread, That is very old and people are so interested in it that it continues to stay new. There are some very old threads here that keep being "bumped" everytime someone reads and responds and keeps it fresh. They do so because THEY ARE INTERESTED IN THE SUBJECT and find it relevant to them... If your threads are getting old and no one is responding it is because no one cares about it. Hijacking the entire forum every time you have an update on the SAME issue is just annoying. But the point here is that there are many many other forums out there that would love to explore and discuss these issues... Christian forums, alien forums, conspiracy forums etc... Why don't you get it that most people here don't care about this? Why not take this information to the people who are going to appreciate it? Why share it with people who have repeatedly told you that it does not interest them? This is more annoying to me than the fact that the issues you raise are not relevant to the forum venue

I don't understand why you need to keep arguing against evolution. It feels like proseletyzing. It reminds me of the Baptist Church I grew up in. I especially don't understand why you want to come on this forum with the continuous stream of anti-evolution threads. Maybe one or two but every week more and more threads about the SAME thing. We got the message a long time ago. You don't believe in evolution. Can we move on to something that we agree on?... perhaps in context with the purpose of this forum which is to discuss spiritual cultivation and NOT religious dogma? I have been watching your threads for a long time and after seeing you get all the negative responses, I just assumed that in time you would realize that this is the wrong place for projecting your agenda. But, despite all the resisitance you get you keep coming back every week with a new thread about creationism... So, either you are an obsessed narcissist and don't seem to understand that most of the people on this forum don't give a rat's ass one way or the other about the issue OR... You know that people on this forum will hold an opposing view point to to you and you are purposefully trying to incite controversy and argument with people hoping that by proving your agenda you can convert people and save their souls... When I was a born again Christian, I was very familiar with this approach. We were trained to go into hostile environments and "Witness" for Jesus by creating controversy in the hopes of being able to disprove other religious viewpoints in the hope that we could convert at least one person. We justified this with the idea that if one soul was saved, whatever arguments or controversy we created was worth it. You seem to be taking the same approach. So, I strongly suspect you have a religious agenda behind your threads... So, once and for all please ... just state your religious agenda. Are you a Christian? Are you a creationist? Please just a yes or no. Before you answer... If in fact you are a Christian, I want to remind you that by definition if you evade the question or falsely deny then you will be (in the belief of your religion) denying Christ... So, please be honest... If not, then perhaps think about taking your issue to a more relevant forum where people care about the issue...

I have no idea what that means, but I hear your request to leave you alone and I will honor that. Good luck...

Oh.. Well, then disregard everything I have said... Good luck...

Well, I don't know what you mean by you've "already gone through it" that can mean almost anything from "I read a few books" to "I spent 10 years in therapy" If you had really gone through it, you would not still be struggling with the problem. It is natural to want to minimize the problem. Of course there weren't any lasting effects. It has taken you your whole life to create these subconscious patterns and defense mechanisms. They aren't going to disappear after a few days or even months of analysis. This stuff doesn't go away easily or immediately. Analyzing the subconscious is only the first step. Then comes the years and years of continuing to work through the emotional pain of unraveling the pain we cause ourselves.... One important thing I wish to share with you from my experience working through similar issues is that it won't go away anytime soon. It will take years and years of thorough and diligent work, perhaps the rest of your life and IME, you will need objective help from a counselor or a therapist. You are not qualified to treat yourself. I myself have been in some form of therapy for over 30 years. I have no intention to stop. I see a counselor twice a month. The new age idea that we can investigate a spiritual path or read some books or chant a mantra and all are problems vanish is not a traditional spiritual understanding. The process of enlightenment takes years and years of diligent practice with the help of others...

In all seriousness.. First. Go to a church or temple or whatever and get an exorcism and then go straight to a psychiatrist. The only way to overcome this is to understand how you have attracted this to yourself and take responsibility. That's all I will say to you. Good luck....

I understand this feeling. I had to seek help from a counselor to find some practical ways through it. You probably won't be able to work through it alone... Are you sure you were born without one or was it driven out of you? We all have identities even if that identity is to portray someone without an identity... I understand. That sounds very painful. It's OK to have good things. I repeat my earlier recommendation to seek out the best things you want and meditate on the resultant discomfort. You are worth it... Good luck... Mike

The Sikhs have their roots in Vedic and Hindu beliefs. The Sikh belief of the Shabda or primal divine sound is just an extension of the Vedic belief that Divine sound is what creates and maintains the Universe. Twitchell just apporpriated the idea and used it for his own purposes...

First I don't think nor have I said that anybody is "right" or "wrong." (winks at Ambrose) I support and share your desire to get happiness from the inside. My intent was to explore with you the possibility that you might have been unconsciously projecting and if so, how that was actually inhibiting your deep desire to get happiness from inside yourself... It has nothing to with who is "right" or "wrong" I see it as a process of discovery. When I become aware of patterns that are not serving me, it might be uncomfortable, but it is an opportunity to make my life better. I try not to judge myself as being right or wrong Well, I don't think it was random... I think Ambrose very likely shares the same projection as you, which is why I believe he stepped in to defend you. ( I won't know for sure because he hasn't directly responded to my question to him) And I think this is why you felt such a deep bond with him. He connected with you on an unconscious level. I think you felt a deep bond because you both felt you were protecting yourselves from a percieved threat on your unconscious projection. I believe this gave you a feeling strength by not being alone.. So, Ambrose... How can anyone make anyone else "wrong" unless they choose to accept that judgement? When someone challenges your conclusions are they "bad" people? That sounds very judgemental to me when what you seem to be saying is that people should not be judgemental... Do you see the irony in that statement? IME, when I want explore someone's thinking process with them, because I sense unconscious conflict, if I am percieved as threatening their unconscious defense mechanisms, one of the first defenses I hear either directly or passive aggressively) is that I am trying to "make them wrong" It makes it difficult to have objective discussions when the main goal is just to defend being "right" or "wrong" or when people feel that any inquiry into their thinking is somehow a judgement on their spirituality. This is why I don't believe in any idea of enlightenment. Because people get very touchy. I know that I am very flawed. So, if someone is able to approach me directly without defensiveness, aggressiveness or passive aggressiveness, ( or fake spirituality) I appreciate the opportunity to evaluate my behaviour. If they are able to bring something to my attention, then I am grateful. If I disagree, that's OK too... I think If we don't try and hold on to our own state of "enlightenment" and just accept that we are all unconscious and "unenlightened" in many ways, then it becomes easier to engage in honest direct discussions with each other. So, Everything, I appreciate your generosity and bravery in engaging directly with me with your differing viewpoints and not in the usual forum tactic of anonymous defensive passive aggressive judgements... I think bravery, directness and honesty is a great way to make this forum a better place to learn and grow from one another... So, thanks for engaging with me... Mike

First, we all project onto others. It is a natural human defense mechanism. Nothing wrong with being human... ( Note: when I use the word "selfish" in this post. I do not mean it in a negative way. Part of what I want to convey is that there is nothing wrong with selfish desires. Self-judgement however is very destructive. So, my intent is to shed light on the destructiveness of self-judgement.) Yes, I do recommend that you not project onto others, but more important is to know why you are projecting onto others... Once you know the source of your projection, you won't want to project. Projection is usually an unconscious process meaning that one is not aware that they are doing it. Projection has it's roots in some kind of selfishness or fear. Most of us feel guilty when we have these kinds of feelings so our brains step in and convince us we are being unselfish so that we will feel justified in our projections. The reason not to project is because it disconnects us from others, is ultimately destructive to others and our own happiness. You explained pretty clearly and bravely here that what you really want is not to have your laptop stolen from others who don't have one and may want to take yours out of jealousy. So, by giving everyone a laptop like yours, then no one will steal yours from you. Perfectly logical. But that is a very different motive than wanting to help the world through the symbology of giving everyone a laptop.. So, based on the information I read here from you, Your first feeling was desire for your fantasy laptop, (nothing wrong there) then you felt fearful that others were going to be jealous and steal it from you, so then you decided to give everyone else the same laptop that way no one could steal it from you. this made you feel guilty and selfish so THEN your brain stepped in and created the "spiritually acceptable" false motive of wanting to share with everyone... This indicates that you may feel unworthy to have nice material things. Hence the guilt.... IMO, the projection process started when you started feeling self-judgement about having your laptop. You judged yourself as being selfish and unspiritual, since your initial selfish desire for the laptop was stronger than your subsequent desire to abandon the laptop. This caused a moral conflict in you and then your brain stepped in and justified the desire by making up the story of wanting to help everyone. That sounded "spiritual" to your psyche, so you adopted the new justification of wanting to help others before yourself... This whole process happened in a nano-second. So, the impetus is fear not generosity. But the mind is a powerful thing that does things like convince us we are being altruistic when we are really trying to protect our desires. The key (IMO) is being OK with our desires, then the other stuff won't happen. I think a great meditation is to meditate on why you feel uncomfortable being the only person with your fantasy laptop. A focal point for me here is allowing yourself to enjoy material things. Allowing yourself the right to have nice things and enjoy them by yourself is (IMO) a sign of enlightenment. It is a sign that you feel you are worthy to exist in this world. It is a sign that you trust the Unverse to take of everyone else. It's not your responsibility to fix anyone else before you can have your own experiences...

It's a cult. Paul twitchell stole some things from Sikh mysticism and repackaged it with a completely false history. the name "Eckankar" comes directly from the Sikh mystic mantra "Ek Ong Kar Sat Nam Siri Wahe Guru" The Sikh mysticism it came from is very cool, but the eckankar version is very different. I would be very cautious... Google a search on eckankar cult and you will find alot of info about people who have been severely damaged by the cultic aspects of the religion. link

Everything... let Ambrose answer for himself. I was asking him because I wanted to hear his interpretation of your post. Taking responsibility for him and interpreting for him doesn't help me understand HIS perspective...

This is classic projection - wanting to give others what you want for yourself. They may not want what you want... What if people reject your gift? Will you then be unable to enjoy it by yourself? I get it that the thought of sharing with others what you want makes you feel good. BUT... will that action make others feel good? Are you doing it to make make others feel better or to make yourself feel better? Why must other people feel good before you can feel good? Are you asking me this question because you want to know how you may be projecting onto others? I think it is a valuable discussion. But, if not, let me know... I don't want to do the typical forum dance of "Yes it is - No it isn't" Smiley face etc...

@ Ambrose... Where then do you believe he is trying to get his happiness?

No. Here's something to consider: your illusion is not based on the desire for material things. Your illusion is that other people are being deprived and need someone else to fulfill their fantasies... This isn't a criticsm. I think we all suffer from this illusion on some level.. Bear with me You claimed that in your fantasy of infinite money that what bothered you was not being able to share your fantasy laptop with everyone. Why would giving to others your fantasy make you feel better about having what you want? What is the perceived gain you would get from being able to give everyone your laptop? Love? acceptance? The right to enjoy your fantasy? I wouldn't want your laptop. I have my own fantasy objects. I am sure there are many others that would not want your fantasy laptop either. So, if you were going around the world fulfilling your fantasy of sharing your dream laptop with everyone there would be alot of people who would not want it. There are many people who would not want or need anything from you at all... But the idea of sharing your fantasy goodies makes you feel better and gives you permission to enjoy them yourself. So, the illusion is in projecting your desires and perceived needs on other people. Another illusion is that you feel guilty when you get the material things you want. That somehow if you are given what you really want that simply by getting that item you are stealing from someone else. So, by giving everyone else your fantasy laptop, you are not really giving to them out of a selfless desire to give, but to give yourself permission to enjoy the laptop. Your desire to give is based in guilt, not true charity... The illusion is that by sharing your fantasy with others that you are helping them... But another way to look at it is that by you freely giving to others what you yourself want would be to deny others the privelige of getting it for themselves. The real illusion that I hear in your post is: that you believe that we are all being deprived of good things. Again, this isn't a criticism. I think we all share this illusion in some form or other. So, why not just work for your fantasy laptop and be the only person in the world with that amazing laptop? You are not depriving anyone else of attaining their own fantasies and you are not a bad person for being the only person in the world to have that really cool laptop. It is not "unspiritual" to enjoy your fantasies... Any feelings of discomfort that you have after you get your laptop would be excellent fodder to meditate about your percpeptions of yourself in comparison to others... It would be a great way to meditate about our boundaries and the how the universe treats us as individuals as well as a community... Something to consider...