Sloppy Zhang

I'm very much over formalized education institutions. They're more about arbitrary hoops that people learn to jump through to get a degree. Now they might be a very intricate series of hoops. But they're still a routine. I guess we can draw a parallel to martial arts forms. Some people can learn and perform a very intricate set of techniques. Even two man sets! In Hollywood we've seen actors choreograph a scene with dozens of "opponents." They LOOK like they're pretty good fighters, huh? But put them in an unrehearsed fight against 8 or more opponents? Hm, suddenly not such good fighters. Same with what I've seen go into and come out of formalized education institutions. They have learned to LOOK like they can think critically and "outside the box," but present them with a box they have never seen before? They go through the same old routines that got them success in the past, and never come up with something truly unique or insightful.

There are a few issues at play, and I think it's important to separate them. There ARE legitimate methods of hard qigong out there that, as part of their lineage, include safety and training protocols to develop a healthy, well rounded body. And there are legitimate lineages of hard qigong out there that, while they've been around for generations, can still lead to some physical damage in the long term. Case in point, many Karate schools had partial knowledge of chi development practices from Chinese martial arts, but their masters couldn't walk or have any hand dexterity by their mid 30's (Mas Oyama could knock out a bull with one punch... but couldn't use chopsticks). So the question becomes: what are you learning? How do you know? Well who's your teacher? Who's your teacher's teacher? Who's your teacher's teacher's teachers? What students have they produced, and what attainments do their students have? What has your teacher done in life? On some level you have to be a pedigree snob. So he's a TCM teacher. Is he a GOOD one? Is he from a good lineage? And as others have mentioned, you HAVE to develop body awareness. I firmly believe a good martial art/qigong school is going to develop this. Bruce Frantzis talks about tension in the body a lot, and tension dulls the senses. It might be that your kiai's are circulating chi to block the hits and prevent damage. Or it might just be that your kiai's are tensing you at just the right moment that you are literally becoming dull to the pain. In the short term you might get away with it, but long term you might get issues from repetitive damage, and you won't even recognize it because you can't feel your own body! Certainly bring up your concerns with your teacher. But be aware that depending on your teacher's lineage, he may not recommend a course of action that is going to produce a body that is going to stand up for long term use.

My job is pretty technical, and in some sense, I'm in my head for most of my day. But on the other hand, that allows me to make enough money so I can go places and relax freely, acting spontaneously in those moments. And yes, to take time off when I feel sick, or just don't feel like going to work, or take time off to go to cultivation related events. Some artisan types live the bohemian, live in the moment, type of lifestyle. Others are scraping by paycheck to paycheck, working multiple jobs to cover their lifestyle because their hobby doesn't pay enough to live. That's pretty stressful and inhibiting wu wei.

From what I've heard, the show actually tones DOWN some of the violence I like a story where characters are not protected by "plot armor." It's more real, because in real life, no one is safe. You never know when someone is going to get in an accident and die, or get killed by someone who hates you (for the right reasons or no). What I also like is that many of the "bad" characters are given a look at their own story. Why they fight the way they do. From what I can tell, this is expanded more in the books. But still, the most recent episode was awesome. Intense and memorable.

We had plenty of projects (and even some papers) we had to complete as a group. They were a chore. 9 times out of 10 the other members of the group had such a shallow and dictionary definition like understanding of the writer or concept we were critiquing that I just did the whole damn paper myself. Rarely did a group member actually have something actually insightful to contribute, and as I mentioned above, they were from a non-traditional upbringing or background. Some people have a natural aptitude for making connections and thinking critically, and I found them across many concentrations of study (whether liberal arts fields or the STEM fields). Beyond that, I think funneling kids through these institutions is an exercise in futility. For the most part they are coming out on the other end with a degree they got by regurgitating the critique they heard from a professor in class, or they inversed the critique they head in class. Throw in some cherry picked quotes from some papers you skimmed so you can meet the minimum source requirements, then boom, B- liberal arts degree. Much better to go to either a trade school or get a degree with some practical applications (STEM fields and any business degree that involves numbers, like accounting or finance). At least the money will actually be put to gaining skills you can actually use to get a job that you couldn't have gotten without that degree. Get some life experiences, get some goddamn perspective, and if you want to think critically, come back. Ralis I tihnk you're very sharp, and I also get the impression that you're a bit older. My parents sounded similar to you, thinking that college was this place of exchanging ideas and thinking critically and growing. I was very disappointed by my time in college with respect to those points. I met some very sharp people (mostly professors) in my field of study, but if I had to do it again, I'd get a practical degree and forget pursuing a degree where I discuss topics critically. Because aside from the dialogue coming from myself and a scant view others, there wasn't much TRULY critical thought.

I graduated last year from a liberal arts university. In person interaction is overrated. Professors were so desperate to dredge up "student interaction", and for the most part, students just wanted the grade, to get the degree, to get the job, to get the money. I had professors tell me that while they appreciated my insights and ideas given in class, I should stop talking so other people can talk. Then, after 2 minutes of awkward silence, the professor would ask for my input. Yeah. I don't really know if you can "teach" critical thinking. But most of the people I met in my well respected liberal arts college were dopes. Sources of the best discussion came from people with a "non-traditional" background. Homeschooled kids, students raised abroad, and older men and women who were returning to either finish a degree, get a degree, or get another degree. My school tried to create "connection" classes to "bridge the gap" between classes form multiple disciplines, to show that courses were "connected." Then some dumb frat kid would say "we talked about this in my political science class freshman year" and the professor would praise them for "making connections." Please.

How many girls have you asked out since then? So ask out any girl that fits that description.

I didn't have to put cottage cheese anywhere when I became a stripper

I dunno, plenty of girls go nuts for convicted murderers. I think vortex has some posts on the bums about it.

yondaime, where are you getting all of this stuff from? Who's teachings are you pulling this from? It sounds like someone I listened to in the past, but I'd like to hear it from you unless I jump the gun... Plus the social proof. Other guys AND other girls acknowledge you, this builds value. Getting on a sports team gives you a default social network of people who known you and can vouch for you. Plus gives you a default pool of people to hang out with in non-work environments.

MMA is crazy good because there's that danger element that chicks crave. But lemme tell ya, any sport is a good way to go. I went out for the varsity basketball team my sophomore year of college. I didn't make it. But damn did I meet a lot of pretty girls who were into me just because I played basketball Didn't score with any of them because I didn't know what I really wanted. I told myself I wanted all the spiritual bullshit. I really just wanted some pussy.

Lift weights, run, eat healthy, and read this blog: heartiste.wordpress.com If you're still in school, play a sport. Keep your studies up when you're in school. Mostly use the sport to stay in shape, build a social network, and as an extra curricular to put on your college application. Read the blog above so girls aren't such a damn mystery, and so you can get laid and start having some fucking self confidence. Make good grades, get a girlfriend if it's that important to you, stay in shape, get into college. Get a practical degree so you can get a job and actually contribute to society while being paid in the process. This will help you pay for hobbies and things to do with a girlfriend (which you will have thanks to that blog). Quit the spiritual game. None of it will give you what you are looking for. Live in the world. I think that's what you really want. When I was about 16, that's what I wanted. I passed up my chances at doing my suggestions above because I thought spirituality would give me what I wanted. I was wrong. When I was 22 I started doing the above, and several months later I had a girlfriend and no longer had my virginity. I also had a body I felt comfortable in without a shirt, and felt comfortable around the ladies to not feel like shit. Unfortunately, I was too late to recoup my education, but I managed to sweet talk my way into a fairly decent job. In any case, if you're young, and that's you in your avatar, do what I suggested above.

So not to derail too much, but I've run into the issue that theurgy brought up in his thread a few days ago. I get some nice orgasms without ejaculations when I'm either with my girl, or doing it alone. But then I just gotta relieve the fluid pressure! And I wound up ejaculating with subsequent orgasms just to relieve the pressure. Which means I wound up having like 40 orgasms total. 20 without ejaculation, and then 20 with to make up for all the pressure. Sufficed to say, masturbation has become a chore. So again, yondaime, be careful what you wish for.

Really liked the Assassin's Creed games. Normally I play games for the story, and play them on easy mode. That way they're easy to pick up, easy to get into, I can watch some cool cutscenes, but it's not a huge time investment outside of entertainment. I started playing Dragon Age: Origins a while back. Really awesome game. But I just started realizing what a big undertaking that kind of a game is (like Final Fantasy games). Skyrim and the like are fun because they're fairly sandbox style. You can get in and tackle the main storyline, or you can roam around the town messing with villagers and baking pies. In any case, I put down video games some months back. Good, right? Instead, I started reading The Dune Series, the Wheel of Time series (an undertaking that's as much devotion as most fantasy video games anyway) as well as Robert Heinlen's books (A Stranger From a Strange land, HIGHLY recommended standalone book) My masturbation frequency has neither increased nor decreased (frequent when my girlfriend is not around). But that's neither here nor there. I also only used to drink alcohol socially, but now I'll do it on my own after a long work week, or when I'm feeling frustrated with life. A nice stiff drink. Usually with a meal, and never to the point of getting wasted. Just a bit tipsy and relaxed. Not sure what this means for my spiritual progress.

yondaime, regarding some other questions in your original post... I first had a bit of a crisis myself when I got into this whole reincarnation bit. We'll all die, what's the point? But think about it this way. If you were to kill yourself now, there's no telling who you are going to be reincarnated as. You could reincarnate as a rich jock who has life paid for and is fucking the gals from the age of 14 on. Or you could reincarnate to a poor, war torn country where you are drafted into a dictator's army and fucked up the butt from the age of 14 on. And there's no way of knowing how spiritually aware you will be in that life. Will you recognize you are one life out of many? Will you be a Christian, a Muslim, an atheist? Too busy to care? You DO have some measure of awareness now. You know that spiritual practices exist, you know that reincarnation exists. If you kill yourself now, you very well may lose whatever progress you have. It's a better idea to find a practice that will allow you to cultivate and keep what you develop across multiple lifetimes. Every (what I consider to be) genuine spiritual tradition I have encountered says that, at some point, you develop to a point where your awareness and (a degree of) your progress gets carried over with you into subsequent lives. For me, THAT is my goal in this life. Not full on enlightenment. But to not lose what I have when I die. So I can use the reincarnation process FOR me (determining where and how I will incarnate) rather than it be a roulette game, where I hope I reincarnate into a place where I can quickly rediscover spirituality and get to where I was quickly. Because there's no guarantee that'll happen.

Thanks for breaking that down, IIRC Taoist Yoga was kind of hard to understand

Unless he was a virgin in all those past lives yondaime, what are you looking to get out of this thread? Are you trying to prepare yourself for what might happen? Are you trying to live vicariously through others? Do you have a girl you'd like to fuck? Do you have a girl you'd like to date? Have you just lost a girl? Are you looking to start talking to these girls? Everyone is going to have a different experience. Some people had their first drunk, some people waited til after marriage, some people had a horribly embarrassing first time, came too soon, couldn't get it up, couldn't get it in, couldn't get it off, etc. So they built from that with experience. Some people had a fairly middle of the road first time. They got in, did their thing, and got out. Then their experience went off from that. So what are you looking to do?

Felt like the inside of a condom Then I started buying the thin ones Worth it.

It's possible, just be careful what you wish for Seriously, my first experiences with manifestation surround women. In fact, if I recall correctly, some of my earliest posts on TTB's centered around manifestation and whether it was moral or not to bang women (or even just date them) that you attracted through manifestation. After all, were they coming to you because they wanted you, or because you somehow influenced them to? Interestingly enough, I wound up following the advice of this blog to get laid for the first time: http://heartiste.wordpress.com/ The first girl I had sex with was also my first girlfriend, and she's also the same girl that I've been dating for the past year and a half. I figured it was fair enough because I only used physical means (body/mind) to get into a relationship with her. I figured that's fair enough, and no possibility of energetic manipulation/manifestation. Not to say I don't use some energetics in the bedroom I was 23 when I lost my virginity, btw. It was worth it to wait. I wasn't the first guy my girlfriend dated, but I was the first one she had sex with. And she said it was worth it to wait too (she got a lot of pressure from previous guys to put out).

Hear hear! I think many people in American society have lost sight of the idea that you can be "critical" of something but still support it. It's not unpatriotic to critically examine what your country is doing! Not that I want to speak for any founders of the nation, but I'm pretty sure the whole idea is that it's unpatriotic NOT to be critical.....

He can, and does, and Frantzis does teach those techniques (he also writes about them in the book "The Great Stillness." But at some level there is an energetic loss, as man projects the energy out. You can still open channels, learn how energy circulates, feel where blockages are, and find what works for you and what doesn't work for you. But you are expending energy in a way that women just do not. You can mitigate the loss, or ensure that the loss is feeding into something that's useful. You may even begin to cultivate techniques for an energizing orgasm which you can then practice with a partner. But it just isn't going to be at the same level (in terms of the self absorption of the energy) as what women can naturally do with their orgasms.

I highly recommend you get B.K Frantzis' book "Taoist Sexual Meditation." It talks about all of these topics and more from the perspective of the water method of Taoist meditation. First and foremost, sex can be a powerful way to feel energy not only of yourself, but of your partner. When you get the sexual energy flowing from both partners circulating back and forth, it gives you a huge multiplier to your practice, because you can bounce energy of of each other. He does say that conventional sex as most people understand it can be draining and shocking to the system, mostly because people practice it from a place of fundamental numbness and closed down-ness. He talks about how most people (men and women) experience a "tension orgasm". Yes, orgasm will relax you, but that's because your body has been tense (and therefore numb for so long) that it shuts down your body, so of course any relaxation is going to feel awesome, but it's also going to shock your system. So he goes into techniques for sex that is not shocking. Now, with respect to energy loss, he pretty much states flat out that men are energetic losers, and women are energetic gainers. In conventional sex, and even in most energetic sex, men give up the energy, and women receive it. They are naturally yin, men are naturally yang. Now if men nurture and develop their yin qualities, and women nurture and develop their yang qualities, then women can refine and pass energy back to the man, in which case he'll even out. When it comes to masturbation, men are pretty much at a loss whenever they do it, and women, in the best case, can gain knowledge of their body as they open up through orgasm, opening and circulating through channels, and at worse case don't lose anything. In sex, for men, the best case they break even (get energy from a partner who has developed her yang) and at worse case lose energy (even if they have cultivated yin, if their partner can't project yang, they aren't getting anything back, it takes two to tango). At least, that was my understanding. It kinda stuck out to me because maybe I was expecting not to be (as a guy) such a loser in the energetic exchange process. Maybe I was expecting some loophole (maybe so I could have an excuse to masturbate and fuck more ) But I didn't get it.

Booooooooooring!

I'm not completely opposed to this strategy. I was a virgin up until my senior year of college. I got introduced to this blog from a discussion here on TTB's, http://heartiste.wordpress.com/ And decided that in my last year of college, I'd put that knowledge to good use and get laid. So I found a few girls that I wouldn't mind banging, and started gaming them. One of them I got to know really well, we started fooling around, I got to know her really well, and wound up falling for her. Then we made love/fucked and we're still dating a year and a half later. I'm not the first guy she's been with, but I'm by far the best I'm a naturally nice guy, but I also understand why women find the "bad boys" attractive. So I act impulsively, I keep things fresh, change it up, handle pressure with grace, and I don't sweat the small stuff. The biggest sources of anxiety, and what took the longest to get over, was just the plain logistics of sex. Will I get the condom on? Will I keep it up? Will she know I don't know what I'm doing? What did the other guys do with her? What did she do with them? The fear of the unknown AND the fear of what she would think were the two biggest drivers of anxiety. Young bloomers who have their first encounter in the 14-16 range where neither of them know what they're doing and their partner is probably not a "serious love" is much different than when you're in the 22-25 range and you're seriously liking this person, you both might have put a good amount of time and finances into each other, and you want to make it "work." More anxiety. Getting someone just comfortable with the physical act of sex in a 100% no judgment zone sounds like a great plan. Unless he falls for the escort

It's not "jedi mind tricks" to get women. It's understanding what traits women look for in a man, and either displaying those traits (which you have but never show) or developing those traits (if you don't have the traits, you get them). Self confidence, outcome independence, a sense of non-neediness, a bit of cocky humor/playfulness, etc. Women take a lot of factors into account when judging a man's attractiveness. It's more than just physical (which is why you do see attractive women with men who are not as equally attractive), but it's also more than just emotional (which is why "nice guys" can't get a girl). It really is a whole picture kind of thing. How he looks, how he carries himself, how he interacts with others (men and women), how he interacts with her, how he handles obstacles, etc. These get her to say "you know, this guy seems to have something, so I'm going to continue forward." And she might either find out that you're a totally uncaring abusive narcissistic asshole. Or she might find that you're an empathetic, caring, conscientious guy. But you have to know the traits that women "screen" for, and how to display them.