Sloppy Zhang

Chen Xiaowang vs multiple opponents! Obviously a demo, but I just thought I'd throw it out there!

Thanks for the + I would be skeptical about adding these, and other branches of the TMA's to your search (karate, Tae Kwon Do, classical jujutsu, etc). Not that there aren't great arts within them, there are. Unfortunately, their quality and caliber can very GREATLY from school to school. I started martial arts for self defense. Being able to protect myself and others is important to me. When I was young I threw myself headlong into the art, listened to all the things that "sensei said". I got rocked in BIG way when I found out that real fighters don't always operate according to the pretty model that karate painted for me. Luckily the space it happened in was relatively safe (a full contact cross training event). It happened kind of young, and gave me a pretty big chip on my shoulder when it came to more traditional styles. But it was necessary to realize one thing: you've got to pressure test your stuff. Sure, the "streets" have rules. Blah blah blah. But you need to train and practice in ways that will be fundamentally closer to actual combat. When you make friends, you can for sure come up with some really fun ways to simulate combat- multiple opponents, different locations, different clothes, role playing, simulated weapons, etc etc. The thing about styles such as MMA, boxing, Muay Thai, wrestling, Judo, Brazilian JuJutsu, etc, is they will pressure test in ways you don't get from a lot (NOT all) traditionally informed schools, which may not even let you spar for up to a number of months! And the important thing as it relates to this thread and the OP's goal is he needs something TANGIBLE that is going to help him build confidence. Will he get fit joining pretty much any martial arts school? Probably. Will he gain confidence in fighting? Probably. Will that confidence hold up under pressure when he must put it to use? THAT'S a HUGE variable. Again, you might get lucky and be near a traditionally informed school that has the goods. In which case, you seriously lucked out. But you want a sure fire thing, especially if you don't know too much about the arts? Go with the ones I listed already (judo, Muay Thai, Brazilian JuiJuitsu, boxing, wrestling, MMA). As far as lessons and energy and emotions and all that. Plenty of guys, especially if they train and compete on the amateur or the pro level, are SUPER humble guys. Why? Because when you join an art like Brazilian JuiJuitsu, or Muay Thai, the first six to eight months pretty much consist of you learning how to get hit, learning how to take a fall, learning how to tap to avoid getting a choked or getting a broken bone. Guys who have an ego don't last. The guys who do last are the guys who shut up, take their lumps, learn a lesson from each one, pay attention to the good ones, and don't quit. They're humble on the mat and off it, because not only have they been on the bottom, but once they have gotten good, they don't have to prove anything to anyone! They know they can fight, they know they can perform. They don't have to run their mouth or be an asshole. If they are, they've got bigger problems, and you should find another gym to train, one that fosters a better attitude.

Disclaimer: I'm an American, 22, male, recently graduated college. Maybe things are different in American male culture. But from what it sounds like... doubt it. You need to get confidence. Guys give each other shit all the time. All. The. Time. It's part of being a guy. Male culture involves competition and one-uppping each other. You don't necessarily have to win, but you have to gave the guts to at least hold your ground. I lived in a guys' dorm in college. And stuff like this happened all the time. Girls would comment on it to me, "it's so stressful when you hang out with your friends, because you just fight each other and talk shit to each other all the time!" I'd tell them that these guys were some of my best friends, and in one-on-one situations were great guys. But get us all together.... and hey, guys give each other shit. Now for my friends and I it came from a good place. We had limits, and knew not to cross the line. But even positive male relationships you give each other shit. Not to knock each other down, but to get you to rise to the challenge. Now some people come from a harmful place. Some people DO try and hurt. And when they sense weakness? They're like sharks smelling blood in the water. You're over. And here's the thing: the deeper in you get, the harder it is to get out of. If you let it slide once or twice, it's MUCH harder to get rid of it than it is if you never let it slide at all. You need to have confidence and you need to stand up for yourself. Start working out. Even better, learn a martial art. A competitive, full contact one. Judo, Muay Thai, Brazillian JuJutsu, boxing, wrestling, and/or mixed martial arts. These will do a number of things: it will get you in shape, it will get you used to handling conflict, and after you get good, it will give you a TANGIBLE reason to have confidence in yourself. You'll be able to look at your body and see the improvements. And when you start winning rounds (even if you just spar in the gym and don't compete competitively) you're going to realize that you can handle yourself. Go to the gyms, meet the guys, tell them you want to get healthy and you want to learn how to handle yourself physically. The vast majority of guys who train in these contact sports are great guys. Why? They don't have anything to prove. They do their talking on the mat. Watch out for guys who try to hurt the other guys. If you get any vibes that remind you of your school time bullies, just leave and find another place. You said you were in London- I bet you'll have a lot of places to look. Doesn't matter if you're scrawny and skinny, or fat and loose your breath easily. Everyone has to start somewhere. Chances are a lot of the guys in there were in a crappy place to start with, know where you're coming from, and as long as put in the effort, will help you out. Listen to them, show you're willing to learn, take their tips, and get better. Now, socially speaking, stand up for yourself in front of other guys. If someone gives you shit, tell them to fuck off. You don't have to get physical. But you need to tell them they need to run their mouth elsewhere. Ideally, get good at coming up with comebacks. Learn how to turn situations around to your advantage. An easy beginner way to do this is to use an "agree and amplify" strategy. If someone comes up to you and says "you're going to die alone and a virgin", you can say "probably. You think I'll overdose, or cut myself?" Shrug it off, say it with a laugh. You can get more confrontational. "Doubt it, your mom seems pretty easy..." You can say it with a wry smile too, act like it's a joke. Dunno about London, but a "your mom" dig universally (here) tells the other guy that you aren't taking him very easily. You can even lay it on thick. Then, if he takes it seriously, it makes HIM look weak, because EVERYBODY knows that "your mom" jokes are lame. Hell, FRIENDS use your mom jokes. Socially with the ladies: chat 'em up. I guess you could try and get some game. But that's unnecessary. Just TALK to them. Be yourself. Girls are people too. Most are as fucked up mentally as you are, but they (including the really pretty ones) can be VERY good at hiding it. And look: if you start acting confidently, start handling yourself socially around the other guys, and stick to working out and learning how to fight, you're gonna do well with the ladies anyway. Never met a gal who DIDN'T like a nice, physically fit guy who knew how to fight. Hell, she might even ask you to show her some moves.... do it I don't know much about the authentic man program. But it sounds like you need to start being, well, an authentic man. Get physical. My uncles were meat heads, and my parents raised me to be smart and nice and all that stuff. Well I did okay, but recently I started hitting the gym and running every day. I feel GREAT about myself. Ten thousand times better. I'm not even doing that much and probably embarrassing myself in the gym around the super buff types. But I don't care. Because I have fun doing it. And I know that I haven't met a chick who DIDN'T like a nice guy who was physically fit

Well if I have God-like powers then I'd have a lot of wiggle room for trial and error, huh? Well first I'd make a paradise. Everyone has all the food and shelter and access to things they need as they want. The world is free from disease. Everyone is physically appealing, physically capable, as intelligent as humanly possible. No one is forced to do anything. With my human intelligence I ration that most crimes out there are due to imbalances. People lack food or shelter or access to things, so they take them. People are jealous and/or spiteful of someone for having something they don't have, so they commit crimes to get it. Take all that away, I figure people don't have any motivation. Now the machine makers of the first Matrix will tell you that is exactly how they designed the first matrix. A human paradise. Apparently it failed miserably. Apparently people wanted to suffer. Apparently they just had no purpose living in a paradise where they wanted for nothing, and went crazy. So the machine makers made suffering. Gave the people a system that hates them and kills them, so they can struggle against and feel like they have meaning in the world. Interesting enough, (SPOILER ALERT) just saw the Avengers today, and Loki said something similar about humanity. "You were made to be ruled." Because ruling yourself requires intelligence and power and sticking to your principles and responsibility. And it's just so much easier to submit to someone and do what they tell you and as long as you do that you are okay. So I figure if the first plan doesn't work out, hey, I'm the god of the planet. Worship me and do as I say and if not... I zap you. Commit crimes and do things I tell you not to do? Zap. Do anything but work hard and help you fellow man and yadda yadda? Zap. Oh, and make sure they don't have enough food and have to struggle and suffer, so that way when they've finally earned their carrot, they feel happy about it, and don't realize that it's all they had to eat all day. Also I live in paradise and the people I approve of get to live there with me. And occasionally I pick some people out of the rabble to come live with me and make people think they have a shot. Also some people are my prophets and I speak through them. But if they mess up, zap. And if you work hard and do what I tell you, you can be a prophet too. If not zap. Yeah. How about that.

In opening the Dragon's Gate, the three masters disappeared right before Wang Liping's eyes. Just sayin'. Maybe they synched their energy so well that it even affected physical sight? Not to say this little exercise isn't good and/or fun and/or useful. I'm just saying that people out there, recent people associated with lineages that are in turn associated with classic descriptions and teachings, are being pretty dang literal about it. Or so it appears to this reader. Maybe the original Chinese has a slightly different connotation.

I just think you've got a lot of wisdom to add to this conversation

Is taomeow around these days....?

THE KNEE IS A WEIGHT TRANSFERENCE JOINT, NOT A WEIGHT BEARING JOINT!!!! This is something that B.K. Frantzis makes a HUGE deal about in pretty much everything he does. If you feel pressure, weight, and especially pain in your knees, you are doing something WRONG! A million times over, I suggest you get the book "Opening the Energy Gates of Your Body" and learn the body alignments, as well as work on some of the exercises like the kwa squat, and perhaps even the first swing, just to get you used to working with it. Basically, your weight should go THROUGH your knee and into your foot. Your legs are shock absorbers, and shock going down is distributed THROUGH your legs, THROUGH your feet, and into the ground. Coming up, it is dispersed THROUGH your legs and dispersed throughout your whole body. When there is a problem along the line (usually due to improper alignments) you will feel the force stopped up somewhere. This and the surrounding area is where you should look at correcting your alignment. Now obviously a teacher with a watchful eye is going to know where you are getting messed up. But that's really not necessary, so long as you listen to the needs of your body. Experiment a bit. Yes, you will have to re-learn how to walk. You will have to re-learn how to run. When you learn about proper alignments, you are also going to re-think how you sit, stand, sleep, go to the bathroom, etc etc. Again, for the full description consult "Opening the Energy Gates of Your Body". But basically, when the knee is doing its job, you DON'T feel the knee. The force goes right through into your foot. Play around with this. Bounce around. Shift your weight around (because there may be bad alignments in your body, tightness in your shoulders and neck which throws your weight forward or back or to one side or the other, etc). Get someone to push on you, see where the force is going. If you listen to your body, you can figure this out. "No pain, no gain" applies to muscle soreness and stuff like that. Joint pain is a HUGE indicator of improper practice, ad if you "push through it", you're probably going to mess yourself up. But look, many people, especially in the west, I'd wager, are a bit out of touch with their legs. I am. I'm a tall guy, never been too flexible in the legs and lower back, but qigong practice got me in touch with them fast. Lots of sitting in chairs, not a lot of squatting to eat or use the restroom, not a lot of popular sports involving legs (like soccer). So even doing something like "bend your knees" means that some people are probably already misaligned in terms of balance, and "bending your knees" is probably bending INTO the problem! So, yeah, you're gonna have to mess around with it a bit to figure out your body.

I'd like to know if anyone has any experiences with how the arrangement of energy and focus in various levels of the energetic body (however you may define that) winds up affecting the physical body. I've got two cases that I'm thinking of- Up until my sophomore year of college, whenever I gained weight the fat would mostly stay around my belly. I'd fluctuate around 10-15 pounds throughout the years, depending on diet, exercise, stress levels, etc. But I never really got fat to build around my pecs. It was usually around my belly. Around throughout junior year, I went through some energetic stress. Basically my focus and direction of energy was more "up" than it was down- to my chest and head. I noticed that I started to get fat to deposit around my pectoral area. Now I'm getting over those energetic issues and getting my body back in shape, and I'm noticing that I have fat in areas I hadn't before my previous energetic occurrence. Case two is a buddy of mine happens to be, well, pretty well endowed in the male area, if you catch my drift. But he tells me that when he was a kid his penis was really small, and his mother actually took him to several doctors to see if he had some developmental issue. The doctors told them he was fine. Well, puberty hit, and bam- big penis. I'm wondering if experiences like this, where your subtle awareness is shifted and focused on a certain formation, can affect your body. In the case of fat deposits and stuff, I noticed the process and change over about the period of a year and a half to a year. For, say, penis size, well there was the previous "energy structure", if you will, but then a huge energetic dump (at least in the physical sense) going on in puberty. So, in my diet and exercise routine, I've started to pay attention to where my subtle awareness is, what forms it's taking, where energy in my body tends to go and accumulate if I am worried, stressed, etc etc. Wondering if you guys have any thoughts on this regarding its connection to health, wellness, and generally improving life.

1) Definitely lose the guilt. Guys ejaculate. Some guys are super freakin' horny. And ejaculate a lot. I'm one of those as well. Been masturbating for as long as I can remember (waaaay before puberty and getting actual ejaculate, I found out it felt really freakin' good, and just would do it). 2) Don't try and stop masturbating, instead, START doing OTHER things. If you try to "stop" masturbating, you are going to fall into the same cycle because you will be hitting all the old markers which cued you to start jerking it, and you won't have any activity to replace them. Start an exercise regiment. If you eat as much as you say, and come as much as you say, you've got the energy. Just put it to something else. At some point, you just aren't going to feel like masturbating. Or hey, maybe you will. If you feel like doing it, then do it. And feel good about doing it. It happens. The more you worry about it, the worse you'll make it. But make a rule that you're going to stick to other things. So let's say you decide to 1) start exercising, and 2) learn a foreign language. Make sure you do your workouts every day, and practice your language. If, after that, you still want to masturbate, do it. But at some point you just aren't going to feel like doing it, and you'll stop naturally. If you don't, whatever, no big deal. Now a few days you'll probably skip your routine to jerk it. Whatever. Start slow. Drop the judgment. Try doing the workout or practice after, and you'll probably not feel too into it. Remember that feeling, and next time, no matter what, do your new routine, and THEN masturbate. Probably gonna get a lot of shit for saying this. But hey, masturbation used to be a problem for me. Why? Because I tried to "stop". That actually made the problem worse. Now it's not a problem. And hey, guess what? I still masturbate from time to time. Big deal.

Actually, I know that It's part of the practice, and it's why it's a double edged sword Because, on the one hand, sure, it brings to light a lot of stuff you might not get if you're on your own. But on the other hand, if you don't handle it, then you're no better off, might be worse off, and it's just living life like anybody else. Kind of like the people who claim they want to learn sexual practices "for spirituality", but really they just want an excuse to fuck and still think they are better than others. So, yes, part of my practice through these times is recognizing when I'm not practicing, and just doing more of the same. Part of my practice involves contemplating about all of the different things I might do in a situation, and how that may affect my own or others' shit/karma. This makes me think about how dangerous it is to go about life in a mindless way, because then you're just sending out knee-jerk responses to other peoples' issues based on your own. That ain't practice. So then it helps bring awareness back to the situation (at least for me). I'm not proposing we come to a hard and fast conclusion that "it's always better to cultivate in the world" or "it's always better to cultivate alone". There are pros and cons to both, and one may be more appropriate than other for different people at different times. It'd be stupid to say "what's the point in separating yourself from society?" because there are some benefits to it. But it would be equally as short sighted to proclaim there is no spiritual use to being in society, or in being in relationships. Is it really? You might physically go to a job and/or maintain the minimum amount of contact to function in society, but where is your focus? I think for many people it is "I wish I was sitting somewhere meditating". Pull yourself away at every opportunity so you can get back to where you "really" should be. Seems like that's exactly the type of thing all of those stories seem to warn again (like the monk who carried the woman across the mud, then set her down, but the student thinks about her the whole trip). I think this is something that would be interesting to explore.

Just wanted to say thanks to Taomeow for posting awesome stuff!

Haha, I'm not talking about specifics, I'm using it as an example. The shit/karma that I've got is meeting with the shit/karma that someone else has, and when they interact they play off each other, and they go places that it never would have gone if I just sat alone in my room meditating. Add other peoples' shit/karma to the fire, and it suddenly starts taking on drastically more dimensions. So sure, I can meditate on attachment, love, loss, jealously, possessiveness, indecisiveness, greed, envy, desire, passion, violence, caring, protecting someone, friendship, community, solidarity, solitude, etc etc all on their own. And given their own time, I might gain some insight into them and I might resolve them. But it takes the practice up a notch (and it's a pretty big notch) when you are interacting with other people in real time. You get an entire nexus of shit/karma that you just don't get on your own. So maybe you stay a hermit and forget what dating is for. More power to you. Or maybe you step outside and suddenly interact with this other person's shit/karma, and, whoa, it manifests as something totally different depending on where you both are at during the time you meet, and before you know it, you just spent the day getting chased by a rabid dog But here's the REAL question: were you able to maintain your conscious awareness when you were running from the rabid dog as if you were able to maintain sitting in your room at home? THAT'S the question. Not about whatever form it manifests (to me, anyway). And chances are pretty good that unless you've been getting some REAL quality meditation time on your own, the answer is probably going to be "no". Because rabid dogs are pretty fuckin' scary. Because psycho ex boyfriends showing up to your apartment with a knife and three friends is pretty fuckin' scary. And unless you've got a pretty fuckin' scary amount of meditation under your belt, you are going to lose your center. And if you just sat alone in a room meditating for 15 years, you never would have known that your consciousness had such gaping holes in it!

Money? I'd say it's an artificial social construct created by humans and only really defined within our narrow set of human interactions. If you were born in another time, you'd probably be bartering and wondering why you never had anything of value to barter. Its importance? Relevance to spirituality? No more important or relevant, I'd say, than a computer. Or pants. Do you need a computer or pants? Only in so far as the narrowly defined social interactions between humans force you to (which, to be fair, can be a lot).

One of BKF's senior students. 'Nuff said. If you live near him and can train with him, I'd definitely go for it.

Haha, yeah, well, like I said, it's kind of hard to order because I'm still going through it. But yeah, I've noticed the same stuff. Which was kind of my whole point. When you engage in life you see more stuff in action. Sure, you can think "it would be ironic if I get into a situation like this with another person, so that will not happen, because I seed it coming from a mile away, yeah, I'm going to sit and meditate". But it's a whole other matter when you're smack dab in the middle of the actual situation and you don't know how other people are going to respond and you don't know what's going to happen moment to moment and.... Well it's much harder to keep that perspective. And getting that kind of practice in, where you've got to get to where you were sitting still in the heat of the moment, I think, is valuable.

Too scattered.

I can't disagree more. I've made ridiculous leaps and bounds in cultivation thanks to the people I have dated (especially who I am dating now). The stuff I have learned about myself and her helped me progress and work through things in a matter of days/weeks/months that I had been working on for years. But that's just me.

It's a great scene, and it's the preceding scene which holds the quote that can be found in my sig. For those unfamiliar with Star Wars, Yoda (the master) informs Luke (the student) that there is a cave which is strong in the dark side of the force (powerful negative energies). When asked what is in the cave, Yoda informs Luke that all that is in there is what Luke takes with him. Luke goes into the cave carrying a fear of Darth Vader (Vader is powerful and has killed Luke's first teacher, Obi-Wan Kenobi), hatred for Vader (Vader killed Luke's father), and also a great deal of self loathing (Luke sees in Vader his own self, and later discovers that Vader is, in fact, Luke's father). Thus Vader manifests in the cave, and Luke must react with his weapons. Interestingly, before entering the cave, Yoda informs Luke that Luke will not need the weapons in the cave. But Luke takes them anyway. For me, the implication is that for an enlightened master, one who carries nothing with them, one who has dropped all of their baggage, negative energies will not affect them. Luke takes his weapons, fear, aggression, and self loathing, and thus is confronted with an armed reflection of all of that.

Not quite sure what you mean here. As with all things human, it is a complicated situation. As much as I'd love to leave a sentimental one liner, I find that I can't. Maybe after another 22 years I'll have one for you I'll just say that learning "game", learning psychology, understanding how people work, and using that to navigate social interactions has allowed me to connect more to myself and to connect to others. People have let me into places (not just women, and not just physically you pervs ) that they would not have let me into unless I had used what I knew on them. Sure, I can run around acting like a super compassionate super Buddha. That's great. But a lot of people won't (in my experience, at least) open up to that because it is foreign and strange to them. They are too insecure to let themselves be helped. Sooooooo sometimes you gotta help without letting on that you're trying to help. And the only way you can do this is is if you learn to understand them. If you insist no being super genuine buddha on them, you're just forcing your Buddhahood onto them, and they're just going to run back into the same self destructive behavior they've always done

Yeah, I've read of a lot of very good practitioners who worked in security/bodyguard positions, or in the police forces. If you want to get good at fighting, you're going to have to, well, fight. No better way to find out of your stuff works than when someone is coming at you trying to knock your head off or spill your guts on the street. That said, almost ANY job can be good, so long as you keep the practice up while you are doing it. Conscious of where your tension is, conscious of where your weight is going, conscious of how you are moving in space, your balance, your relationship to other things, etc etc etc.

Ever eat too much candy on Halloween? So how would you change your state of imprisonment? It's certainly not by sitting there being content to be in prison! Or maybe it is... but I'd love to hear that explanation!

You can be happy when in prison, but you're still in prison. You can be happy while someone is beating the shit out of you, but that doesn't mean the shit isn't getting beat out of you. You can be content in the joys of the here and "now", but still be doomed to cycle through the same stuff over and over and over. Okay, so you can change your attitude. What else can you change?

That's certainly one way to spin it. It's certainly one way to play the game. But it's definitely not the only way to live life, and it's not the only way to use the things you know about human nature. Again, it depends on how you view it. You very well COULD "build up" a stage persona and fuck (with) people as if they were props on your stage. Whoopdee doo. Or you can "break down" your behavior and the behavior of others to understand it and direct it. Now I would say one can (should?) direct it to a positive direction. Others can (and probably will) come in and say that you can (will?) direct it to a negative direction (they'll probably use the word "manipulate" there... scandalous!) As the saying goes, "don't hate the player, hate the game!"

I get the feeling most people are missing the real fundamental aspects of "game" or "dating" or interacting with humans. They are seeing the real superficial aspects, and are missing the aspects that can transform it from a superficial process of hiding your true self, to turning it into a process of examination to find your true self, and to bring the true self of other people out. People say "just be yourself". People say "this will only work on insecure people". Well guess what? People are pretty fucked up. Tell them to be themselves and watch them enact YEARS of subconscious conditioning, react without thinking to various stimuli, avoid certain people or situations for reasons they can't really explain ("it's just my personal preference") etc etc etc etc. And the people you interact with? Most of them are fucking crazy! Insecure women abound. Beautiful, successful, intelligent, smart, funny women attracted to psychotic killer assholes? What the fuck? Learning this pickup material (for me) is less about learning a routine to create a persona to bed women, and it's more about examining factors about myself and about others. What kinds of things do I go into a situation carrying with me? Thoughts, expectations, fears, assumptions, habits, etc etc etc. Learning game material has taught me to examine my own behavior and my own thinking process. How do I act vs how I THINK I act? Learning game material has also helped me to understand others. Sometimes people are turned OFF by genuineness. They aren't used to it. They don't know how to handle it. As the song goes, "some of them want to use you, some of them want to be used by you. Some of them want to abuse you, some of them want to be abused." Someone who has lived their life by being degraded and exploited won't know how to handle kindness and compassion. It will be foreign. They won't know how to interact. And they will be strangely attracted to what is familiar- exploitation and abuse! Learning game lets you navigate the interaction between yourself and others. When you make an action, it is an action you CHOOSE to make. Some guys flirt with girls constantly and don't know that they are doing it. Some guys think they are flirting but are really sending massive "stay away" signals. People of any gender wind up falling into patterns of behavior they can neither understand nor control. Game concepts teach how to understand and use these principles of human interaction. And that's pretty damn empowering. If you want to manipulate and exploit people with that? Well, it happens. If you want to use that knowledge to help foster healthy relationships with people, understand why they are healthy, and understand how to keep them healthy? Well good for you.