Sloppy Zhang

Creeeeeeeeeepy If he was going to declare his love, he should have just been like "hey, Emma, you're hot, hit me up sometime". Not even that... good lord, he's a rich famous dude. Not only that, but he tries to play it off as some joke/stunt. "Was I being serious? Was I joking? Yes. Lololololol". Trying to turn it into some commentary about how real comedy always hits close to home, blah blah blah blah blah? Bullshit. Seriously, weak. If he was going to make it a "joke", he could have laid it on a bit thick in a few places, and we would have gotten it. Also, having a camera jammed right up in his face is creepy and off putting. Even watching it on a tv 20 feet away, I still felt like I was too close to his face. Ups the creep factor.

Exactly. That's not to say you shouldn't do what you can. But don't overreach yourself trying to help someone who is either beyond help, or is unwilling to accept help. You're only going to hurt yourself, and then two people will be in a mess. Give advice, offer help, and if they don't want it, let them work it out in their own way.

You been watching the Disney channel? If it's a soap opera, you're gonna have to up the ante. Where is the drama in that????? Apech, I suggest you watch more daytime soaps. Also, for extra credit, watch same Spanish channel soaps!

Growing up a lotus. I couldn't get anywhere near it naturally. I made some really good progress with stretching and stuff because I wanted to sit in it to meditate. Then I got really busy with other things, got lazy, stopped stretching, kept meditating in other positions, blah blah blah. Tried it again about a month ago, and had lost all progress. So I think you can definitely work yourself up to it.

Odd. I have more sexual activity on weekends and holidays than I do on the weekdays. 2x the normal amount Friday nights, 2x the normal amount Saturday, and 1.5 the normal amount on Sunday (have to get ready for the week!) Of course, if Monday is off, then 2x for Sunday, 1.5 on Monday. Friday off, 2x Thursday night, 2x Friday..... and so on. You get the idea. Maybe I'm doing it wrong I'm going to come out and say that I don't have any experience with the MCO styles and the various types of draws (cold, big, etc). I tend to go with practices that are more about "feeling" and stuff, so in that sense, I can't recommend a hard and fast (hehe) rule for you to follow. I'll say to listen to the body. It has its natural rhythms, ups and downs. There is very little point in trying to stave off ejaculation if your body is on the brink of exploding. You'll either fail and get all depressed (tons of threads about that), or else stagnate. If you exacerbate the problem by stimulating without release, well like 5ET said, you're going to burn up from the inside, right after you get the idea that you have attained "power" status. It's also pointless to try to engage in sexual activity if you aren't feeling it, just because "oh look, it's my every X week ejaculation time, I better get to it!" First and foremost, listen to your body, and you'll get an idea of where to start. If you are trying to train yourself to get into a new routine, again, listen to your body. You'll know if you're going too fast or aren't going fast enough.

Here we see the disconnect in your thinking process, and I'm pointing it out to you so you can see your own contradictions- A beta can become an alpha, but you do not even consider the possibility of omega becoming a beta, which, in turn, can become an alpha. You just say that "omega is a lot worse than a beta" and leave it at that. You can change.

Never said that. Go back and read again. People who are in an emotionally stable (read that again: emotionally "stable", not necessarily "healthy") are wary of people who are emotionally unbalanced (in this case, you) because they start to fear that you will come in and unbalance them. If you project an air of confidence and emotional balance (true or not) they will be less wary of you, and more open to you. Well that's what they are. Attention whores are obsessed with attention, and want all eyes on them. Desperate loners are obsessed with the interpersonal communication and physical contact that they are unable to receive. Starving people are obsessed with the food they can't get. That's what it is. That's just an observation of the state. If you want to attach extra connotative meanings to the word "desperate", that's your issue, just keep in mind: it's just another instance of you projecting. Exactly. And it's for that very reason that I'm pretty sure a zen master would be more successful with people (and women) without even trying than Non is, for the exact reason that the zen master wouldn't even be trying. It would just happen. Or not happen. Ironically, that's why it would happen.

Well that depends on how you play it That's projecting on your part. She might be incredibly impressed that you were able to pull off such a stunt. She might not even believe that you WERE faking it, and are just lying about that Bullshit! And don't forget that in any performance (such as, I dunno, "faking" it 'till you don't have to fake anymore), it is a two way street- the receiver has to buy it. And never underestimate peoples' ability to buy into whatever is being put out (especially if the giver is giving off no cues that it's not genuine). Never underestimate peoples' ability to take things at face value. And for God's sake, Non, NEVER project your own doubts and insecurities on to other people! Just because you look at people and think "this person is being nice, there's no way they like me for me, they must be using me, they must be shallow, they must expect me to conform to conventions of XYZ", in NO WAY means that other people are doing that to you!!!

Confidence and being "super happy" are not the same thing. Do the "bad boys" who get women all the time walk around with an idiot smile on their face? No. Quite easily. They are obsessed with water. No one can deny that. And I don't think a person obsessed with water would get all pissy if you called him "water obsessed". The harder you try, the more likely you will fail. A lot like zen, I guess. Yeah. The issue isn't whether or not you are lonely. The issue is whether you project that on to people you meet. If you project that loneliness on to people and expect them to save you, or to let them drink from their well, they are going to be put off. People have their own problems without having some freeloader coming around asking for handouts. They don't want to be around that person. Don't be that freeloader. Well you're just a nice person. And possibly lonely. And possibly desperate. So in your case, any human contact would probably be good. Once you dig your way out of that hole, you'll realize just how draining it is to be around, to "help" the same people over and over again with the some old problems. Yes. People label. What are you going to do about it? Are you going to care and change your life accordingly? Are you going to care and not change your life? Are you going to not care and change your life? Okay, so, again, what are you going to do with that? "Fake it 'till you make it". Have confidence. It doesn't matter if there is no reason for you to be confident. In some cases, that may make it even MORE impressive. People look at you and go "wow, he's so confident, but he has no reason to be, that I can tell. Maybe I've missed something... I'm going to hang around him and see what his deal is". Also, men and women are treated differently. Right or wrong, that's how it is. So change or don't. Find someone inside of this society, or meet people who live outside the bounds of conventional society. If you aren't taking some concrete steps to change it, society is going to do its thing- with or without you- if you want to hop on board, hop on board. If you don't, don't. But don't complain that you missed the boat either. If it turns out you really want to be on the boat, then get another boat and catch up. Or swim.

I'm going to be honest, I've been reading a bit of this blog (which was linked here and there in some of the *ahem* problem threads). I've found it provides an interesting perspective based on observations, many of which I have seen first hand (and given your posts, some of which you have seen first hand as well). I don't always agree with some of his conclusions (one of them is that relationships are inherently antagonistic, there is no universal moral compass, and that in light of those two truths, hedonism is the way to go), but those conclusions have led him to the conclusion that picking up women (using skills crafted by pickup artists) is what people (guys) should be doing. I mention this only because, in reading about pickup techniques, I found it interesting how many of them are really about artificially creating the impression of attributes such as independence and strength of character. It's not about deception- I think the primary target are "nice guys" like you, Non, who really do have a heart of gold, but who have gotten turned around because the world is at odds with you. These people had to learn what came naturally to other people. And the very core of the guys who are "successful with women" is their confidence, their personal strength as an individual, their presence, and their ability to connect with people, be it conversationally, emotionally, intellectually, or physically. You don't have to be a "bad boy" or a "good guy". But if you'll notice the "bad boys" (who are successful with women) have those qualities of independence, confidence (even if unfounded- it really doesn't matter), and their presence. You'll notice that "good guys" (who are successful with women) have the ability to really connect conversationally, emotionally, and intellectually, and have a happy, inviting "presence", even if they are not conventionally attractive physically. So think of a zen master- completely unaffected by outside troubles, which comes across as a quiet confidence. A zen master greets all comers equally, making no distinction between one or the other. This means they are approachable, but it supports their confidence, because the zen master doesn't doubt, or second guess, their ability to handle whatever will come. Through their insight, they can perceive directly to the heart of the situation, so they can connect emotionally and intellectually with any person they meet. What woman WOULDN'T want to be around someone like that? What person wouldn't want to be around someone like that?

As a zen master, I don't think. Thinking is the monkey mind at work. I will say, that as a zen master, I have slept with over 50% of the female population. So perhaps you do have a point in general.

I love how Neil Strauss, on the view, got them engaged and got them on board. They seemed pretty antagonistic at first, but then he got them engaged and they got right on board.

If you look for people to validate you (men or women), they will (consciously or subconsciously) pick up on your insecurity and neediness. This causes them to avoid you, because they don't want to be around someone who is going to be an emotional sink- draining all the fun out of life and looking for someone to feed their ego and to validate them. If you are confident in yourself, shown by the way you walk and talk, think and act, people (men or women) will (consciously or subconsciously) pick up on your independence and confidence, and will want to be around you, because you are interesting and you aren't projecting your needs on them. It is counter-intuitive, but if you want to attract people, don't work on trying to attract them, and just do your own thing. The more you care about it, the more people will notice that, and the more they will avoid you.

You were already light. You just didn't realize it. Because of.... the shit.

You mean like waiting for it to be broadcast over the radio, and then recording it with a tape recorder next to the radio? To the broader topic, yes, it is an interesting moral quandary. On the one hand, there are the rights of the producer of the material, and the hard work and dedication they put into their work. It does not seem fair to cut them out of that by basically "stealing" their work. On the other hand, there is the issue of freedom of communication between human beings and the sharing of knowledge. I'm a huge fan of open source software. There was a linux user who was able to make a computer on a flashdrive. THAT is the type of ingenuity that can really change the world. I see a bunch of programs about bringing laptops to children in Africa. For what purpose? So they can download music and watch porn? How about we dump money into these small types of computers, $25-$100 computers to help low income kids get access to computers to help them learn engineering and programming? Put the power in the hands of the people, and watch them grow, instead of bleeding them dry so outdated institutions can continue to bar all but a select few from learning skills which would not only help them economically, but help advance our society.

I concur Though I'm not a practitioner either, if you are interested in magick from a western, Hermetic paradigm, Bardon's Initiation Into Hermetics gives you the building blocks from the ground up in a no-nonsense, practical manner. Branching out to other people with theory, rituals, and history is great. But Bardon will provide you a great foundation to build up the rest of your knowledge. As another resource, I suggest http://williammistele.com/ as William Mistele seems to gear his flavor of practices in a more "watery" oriented way, as opposed to some of the more "fire" oriented aspects (drawn from yoga) espoused by Bardon and other occult writers from the west.

See I don't think I've read more than 3 or 4 of his posts. I asked him a question once, and after the first couple of sentences, his post went on about stuff that I didn't understand/find relevant, so I moved on. Maybe I spend too much time on forums, but I have oft noticed the cyclical nature of internet conversations. Nowadays, I can usually recognize when one is heading into a shit storm, and avoid. If it's a topic I personally find interesting, I'll participate anyway. I usually know what I'm getting myself into Am I fully enlightened to the whole internet? I dunno, I'm still around, and haven't reached liberation from the internet (at the very least, from forums). I like to think I can walk away at any time.

I don't know about the stormtrooper or the jedi assholes The dominoes scene is a great scene. "I felt like I had seen everything that had happened, and everything that was going to happen..." "So do you know what's going to happen?" "No. It was a feeling". Incidentally, his description seems like a very good description of karma. A chain of events which started a very long time ago, the sequences being acted out now. We participate, but to a certain extent, our actions in the present are dictated by those which have already happened, and they, in turn, dictate how the future will unfold. Someone with the proper perspective may very easily be able to see the future. The Wachowski brothers did the screenplay (according to wikipedia, and for those who don't know, they also did the Matrix trilogy), and I think they are very familiar with such concepts. But I digress.... I, for one, was trying to make a double entendre. On the surface, if you are having to watch tv at your girlfriend's house, then you are "doing it wrong", as in, you are watching tv the wrong way- you should get your own. The other meaning, of course, being that if you're at your girlfriend's house and you are watching tv, it means you are doing it wrong, as in, doing "her" wrong, as in, you aren't doing her, and instead are watching tv, and you need to get on it. Of course, you could be watching tv after. Or just before. But jokes aren't always meant to cover all logistic eventualities

Then you're doing it wrong

So true. So true.

Finally, revenge for all the Western people getting Asian tattoos that really say embarrassing gay things about them!

That happens a lot on internet forums. TTB's has never been an exception.

Be careful when playing with fire. Just in case.

Oh, I know all about that

I think it can also be an "awareness of the act" issue. We do many things reflexively or out of habit. How often do we consciously weigh each decision, and deliberately do every little action? Very rarely. But it is those actions that we remember quite clearly, because we have flagged them as important. Events that aren't important (habits, reactions, etc etc) aren't flagged by the brain as important, so we don't remember them. Which I guess then becomes a memory issue But yeah, it would be quite illuminating to see into past lives. Even if not all of them, but maybe the last two, three, or four. But I think without the proper awareness training, you would still only see the highlights- "wow, I fought in the civil war", "wow, I was an Egyptian high priest", "wow, I was the President!" and the little things (the devil is in the details!) would still escape you I don't even have perfect recall of this life, getting perfect recall of 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 100, 500??????? Crazy.